Just off the top of my head.
You own more paintball guns than a 10 man team would need to play a tournament... & You've used them all.
You've ever played a game using a paintgun OLDER Than your opponents / teammates. And they marvel that not only does it still work, but you're actually tagging people with it.
Somewhere, you've got an article of clothing with the remnant of someone's grand expirement to make a better paintball. Specifically, stuff like "Glitter" paint, "Waxy" paint, Iodine stains, neon glowballs, metallics....
Related, you still have a scar from someone's grand expirement to make a better paintball. Specifically, Pro-Bounce, BE's "Brass ball bearings", Zap's "new" shell, Cal Mag when they did the Am open...
You remember that the full auto "SMG-60" was banned for two reasons. .62 and 9 BPS was too fast a rate of fire.
You've handled a 10 round tube made of metal.
You long for the old tournament format : 45 minute games. 15 man teams. 50+ acre woods fields. Capture the flag. And more often than not, a win was scored while opponents were on the field somewhere.
Related, you play big games or scenarios because that's the closest to the way games "used to be played".
More for the old school purists, but you've ever been told you need to put a barrel bag on "The top barrel" of your SC gun. Alternatively, if you've ever argued with a ref / field owner that no barrel bag in his pro shop fits on your PGP.
You remember buying paint in 200 round shrinkwrap boxes. 180 black balls, 20 bright pink. And you'd load them in your stickfeed 9 black, 1 pink, 9 black, 1 pink....
"Paintcheck" Mgazine was East Coast, APG was west coast, and Paintball News was black and white.
You still want to meet the "Ultimate Paintball Warrior".
With some neoprene, an exacto knife, some glue, and a "Butler creek" pop lid, you can make a 40 round ammo box hold 60 balls.
Speaking of that, if you look hard enough, you can find in your collection somewhere a 40, 50, 90, 100, 150 and 200 round hopper. And given time, you can find 10, 40, 90, 100 and 140 pods "somewhere" too.
You've bought a stickfeeder for $25.
You know the origins of the term "Speedball". You also have pictures somewhere of players in an arena couse in camo, plus photos of the "Shocking pink" JT Jerseys the Ironmen wore.
You watched paintball on ESPN in '96 and said aloud "Who planted the doors all over the place?"
The phrase "Magic Box" still makes you cringe.
You've seen so many barrel fads that you're happy to stick with the stock tube your gun came with. Or you're a die-hard of one of the "Old School" companies who hasn't radically changed their style in a decade. (LAPCO, Amrson, J&J...)
A case is 2500 balls, and anything less is a short case.
You've ever "tumbled" paint to make it shoot better.
If you've ever had an argument that "Constant Air" would ruin the game, either way. It also counts if you have a Co2 wrist bracer that holds 6 powerlets and is in camo.
You've sewn patches onto your camo jacket for fields you've been to.
You still wear BDU's because you can't justify spending $100 on a pair of pants just to trash them in a month or three. And you really hate picking burrs out of those fancy jerseys when you play.
You have an e-gun in your hands, you carry almost 600 balls on your back and 200 in the hopper, you're playing a 'groomed' woods field that resembles "Speedball with trees", and you find yourself crawling from one bunker to another because the angles were "just right" and you saw no need to "spray the bunker" you were heading twords.
You understand the satisfaction of setting up a shot, and one-balling a guy from 130+ feet in the goggles.
You have a "Nelson Spring Kit" for your NELSON BASED gun, NOT for an Autococker! And you know why it's so funny to put Nelson springs in an Autococker too. (Think ancestry)
You know where the "World Cup" used to be held, BEFORE the Mouse, and before "Paintball World" in Kissimme...
You remember when JT made a "Kevlar" styled helmet. You also remember that Vents were WAY better than anything else out there. But Jones goggles still ROCKED!
Related, you've ever taken a knife to a pair of "Uvex" goggles in an attmpt to reduce the "Fog". Or you've taken a hacksaw to some "Woodstalk" masks so you could BREATHE under there.
What the kids call "ghetto rig" we call "ingenious" or "making it work". You gearbag has electircal tape, allen wrenches, teflon tape, duct tape, screwdrivers and plyers, zip ties, and several other "fastening devices" meant to hold someone's gear together "for now". Some of your best temporary fixes still reside on your feed necks to this day...
YOU know "The Brute" was the original plastic paintgun. Well, that and the Splatmaster, the "Cheezy 2000", Rapide and all it's offspring....
Any of the following names actually means something to you : Ken Kelsh, Fred Schultz, Chip Kurdt, "Sandman", Bob Gurnsey, Len Canter, Sandra Day, Jim Lively, Randy Kamiya...
(Feeling old yet?)
-Tyger (Who's feeling REALLY old after playing in the blustering cold all morning...)