Greetings one and all,
Ever found yourself wondering “Well, now what?” trying to get a grip on something that's bothering you but you just can't put your finger on it.
Well I came to the grand discovery that is exactly what has been eating at the back of my mind for longer than I can actually imagine.
Gotten kind of serious of late too; spending days at a time in bed. Only getting up to talk my dog to the park or use the head. Not eating, although I'm looking good at 190lbs, and feeling weaker and weaker by the day.
O.K. This is kind of a rant mixed with self exploration and I'm sharing because there maybe someone out there that is going through the same thing or maybe someone can offer advice or support. After all we all can use as much support as we can get; even if it's just a well wisher or that person that pushes your buttons pissing you off enough to bring you to action.

was the last time I played out with a band.
For those that don't know I'm a drummer. Started playing drums at age 6... “and boy are my arms tired!”... buh dump bump!
O.K., that joke is both old and bad, but you get the idea; I have played Drums for the majority of my life.
Beginning in 2003 I made a stab at running my own business. Unfortunately for reasons beyond my control my business failed and I lost pretty much everything. Although by fall of 2007 I was “Free and Clear” all debts paid.
I had moved into a tiny apartment and I more or less tried to keep my head down and find a new way of getting by.
I have built Paintball Guns, Carved Wood Rifle Stocks, made other artsy fartsy Wood Projects like Jewel Boxes and such, even taken up Leather Working of late.
While I can do it all; reasonably well too, but nothing seemed to motivate me. It was all just another job to try and earn a buck.
Then a week ago I went to see a former band-mates current band play. I even sat in for 2 numbers.
It nearly killed me I'm so radically out of shape; but it showed me what my self-inflicted depressive blue funk was being caused by...

I need to play drums again!
I need to be fit enough to play out again!
I need a drum Kit!

So starting immediately I will be working on my fitness level, I will be finishing up all incomplete Paintball Gun Projects, I will be applying all my learned skills in addition to my life experience to build my next drum kit!

This is going to be a long climb upward. For me to play at the level I once did is several miles high but I know the path as I have walked it before.

Anyone that cares to throw any kind of support my way;

It will be more than gratefully accepted and appreciated.

Wayne Shaw.