Patrons Official Movie Review: LoTR Trilogy

[lopxtc]

Thank you. :)

Aaron

Originally posted by Patron God of Pirates


Well done. Point conceded.

[shartley]

Originally posted by Patron God of Pirates
Thanks. I try to avoid this place becuase it cuases me to spend way to much money. I love the people here, but geez. I added it back to my favorites last week and I allready have about $1500 worth of projects in mind.

Speeking of that... So if I got a slug body and flatened the sides and top, then had it tapped for small mounting screws, think you could cook up a wooden mainbody pannel (peferably wrap around for duability reasons) to match the ultra slick Z-Grips you made for me?

This project is awhile out since I've allready got my mind set on getting nicad's Karta body for my E-Mag. I also still plan on having the extended grip ready gas through I told you abou way back made.

You see. This is an expensive place to hang out. :)

[1stdeadeye]

Originally posted by Patron God of Pirates


Thanks. I try to avoid this place becuase it cuases me to spend way to much money.

You see. This is an expensive place to hang out. :)

Truer words have never been spoken my friend. I got back into paintball and joined AO and have spent a bloody fortune ever since.!

[wyn1370]

Ok, I gotta stick up for one of my favorite characters. Everybody loves to pick on the fat hobbit, but Sam has to be one of the biggest players in the whole story. Sure Frodo had the job of carring the ring and you can see how this effects him, a lesser person would not have been able to withstand it that long. But the one constant thing is Sam's unwaivering loyalty and determination. It's almost like chewie in ANH and not getting presented a medal at the end. Sam does his part simply out of his loyalty to Frodo, he gets none of the respect, no trip on the white ship, nothing. Sure he cries a lot, but hell I would too if I was stuck in his place. He is forced to leave his cozy little life behind and become a hardened warrior and adventurer in a very short time frame. Yet he does all of this with minimal complaint. In the book Tolkien talks about how Sam knows that they will not make it back from the trip to mt. doom, but does that dampen his spirits or determination? nope not one bit.
So there's my toast to sam, the whipping boy of middle earth.

[Patron God of Pirates]

I can't respond to points which begin with "Read the Book". This is not a book review. Any point which requires me to read the book only validates my first point that it shouldn't have been a trilogy. It seems to me that even if you broke each book into three movies a piece you would fail to tell the tale adequately.

[Patron God of Pirates]

You make valid points wyn. That said, Sam single handedly ruins the last film. When he cried for the fifteenth time I almost walked out. Which would have been fine since the movie had reached it's climax over 36 hours prior. Almost all of his scenes involve him crying, allot. It's painful to watch.

[Vendetta]

Wyn,
It's been a while, but I think Sam does take a ship. He was a ring bearer for a short time.

PGOP, funny post, but oh so wrong.

Also, I don't think Gandalf ever did much magic in the books.

[davidb]

Who's to say that the King of the Dead wouldn't have decided that that little golden band would look nice on his spectral hand?

I'm sorry, you just don't trust legions of undead traitors and brigands with rings that grant ultimate power. It simply isn't done.

The whole reason that the "destroy the ring" idea had any hope at all, even a fool's hope, was that Sauron would never have thought of it. Being really really evil and power hungry puts sort of a tint on his view of things. His worry was that somebody (Saruman, Gandalf, Aragorn, Celeborn, Galadriel, Elrond, etc.) would take the ring, USE it to conquer him, and thus replace him. The idea that somebody would destroy something like that just doesn't even occur to him. Using the undead army to take the ring to Mt. Doom would have put sort of a damper on the whole "element of surprise", and if Sauron had known what was up, frankly I'm not sure that the army is all THAT unstoppable (I haven't finished the book yet). That's assuming, of course, that the King of the Dead didn't just take it for himself.

10. Length
It may well be that the films were more geared toward the younger, non-hemorrhoidal crowd. Frankly, the worst part of the ending of the third movie, for me, was the knowledge that there wouldn't be another one. Unless they do "The Hobbit", but it's not quite the same..

9. Failure to distinguish between elves and ninjas
This one you almost have a good point, but come on.. you're not talking about Leg-Bob the Elf Bumpkin, you're talking about Legolas, Prince of the Woodland Realm. Stands to reason that he is has been doing this sort of thing for a LONG time, plus the extra abilities that elves just happen to have. You don't see other elves doing the same things, he was sent in the first place because he was well suited to the task.

8. Travel Times
It's a movie.. If you want detailed, in-depth descriptions of the various journeys, I recommend (geek mantra!!) that you READ THE BOOK. As for your example - it's a big hill, the hobbits are starving, trying to avoid detection, exhausted from various near death experiences, etc., and Mordor was within sight of Minas Tirith. So it isn't all that hard to believe.

7. No Hot Chicks
Maybe she isn't your type, but Liv was really good for that role. (Most) Guys are going to see the movies anyway, and they had Legolas and Aragorn so that we could drag our girls with us. Ideally, all of the elf women would have been inconcievably beautiful, but there are only so many gorgeous women who can also act for longer than it takes to answer the door.

6. The Mighty White Wizard... Er, Warrior
I was a little confused by this too, I must admit. I'm not quite that far into the book, so I don't know if there is some wonderful reason for it or not. But, look so good Yoda did not at that age either, but you saw (I imagine) what he did to Count Whatsisface.

5. Orcs are Wuss-Bags
I don't know if you noticed that part toward the end of RotK where Faramir and company got annihilated by them.. They were giving about as good as they were getting during the fight, too, it wasn't like every human went down because that 25th orc got him while he was busy climbing out of the two dozen he killed. As for getting killed by hobbits and such, Merry and Pippin were gonna be toast because of one all by himself if Treebeard had'na squashed him. As for the rest, if my ten year old brother got the jump on you and stuck you with a two foot long dagger, you'd die too, wussbag!

4. See top

3. We need a guide

Remember the Dead Marshes? Remember the secret way into Mordor? Remember the singularly uninviting appearance of the Black Gate itself?

2. It's not a good story

Well, much as I disagree with you, this one is hard to argue. It's like trying to convince you to pick a new favorite color, you know? Still, though, do keep in mind that at the time that this was written, this story was radically original. To this day there's really nothing that can compare to it, as long as you keep it in the genre. It's a little odd, too, that you critique Tolkien's writing ability, based on The Lord of the Rings, when you have never read it. That's like judging Tom Clancy's writing ability based on the Clear and Present Danger movie.

1. Samwise Gamgee is a crybaby wussbag!

This is the one where I think you are just really, really wrong. I can definitely see where you get the idea, but you have to keep in mind that he and Frodo have just been, very nearly literally, through hell together. He might have wept every now and then, but damned if he didn't get the job done. The "bizarre Hobbitine homoeroticism" (I forget if it was you who said this, or if it was even in this thread, oh well) is a product of having gone through a journey where sacrificing for, and trusting your life with, your companion is an everyday thing. I would be willing to bet that a lot of war heroes would fit your movie definition of a crybaby wussbag.

As has been said before, though, it's cool to see you back on AO. Stick around!! I'm not gonna have any hard feelings just cause you don't like a movie that I like, I just thought I'd try and explain some of the things that seemed "stupid".

Sorry if any of this is repetitive/outdated/no longer relevant/arcane, I started typing it this morning, left, came back and finished typing, and posted it.

[Miscue]

I dunno... I think Liv Tyler and the Elf Queen are both hot... particularly the elf queen.

[Strider]

Originally posted by Miscue
I dunno... I think Liv Tyler and the Elf Queen are both hot... particularly the elf queen.

Amen to that! Cate Blanchett was absolutley stunning/hot. All three of the principal women were flaming hot IMO.

I watched all three at once on Tuesday. Incredible. I wasn't in the least dissapointed in the third. As it's been so long since I've read them, I can't remember details to nitpick, but remember enough of the books to be very pleased.

[Bubonic Plauge]

The first post was extremely witty.

You have to give credit though to Tolkein. In truth he started all the trolls, wizards, knights killing dragons, etc etc etc....The entire realm of fantasy was started with these five books. The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings Trio, and then later the Silmarilian (sp).
These were just the first in a long line of fantasy stories.

[Fred]

Originally posted by Thordic
Couple things.


Uruk's in the book were in existence for 500 years in Mordor, they were just a stronger breed of orc. Why Jackson had Saruman "create" them is beyond me, in the book he breed men with orcs. No matter what Jackson did though, the troops at Helms Deep were stronger than those at Pellenor. Barring the many trolls (Not ogres, PGOP, ogres don't exist in Middle Earth), the army at Pellenor wasn't anything special. Orcs arent really any better fighters than human soldiers.

While you are partially correct, Uruks are the warrior caste or breed of Orc/Goblin... Saruman bred the Uruk-Hai, which are a crossbreed of Orcs and Men, which is talked about in the books. That is how they were able to run around in the daylight without wussing out (along with Saruman's wierd magical willpower).

Originally posted by Thordic
Personally, I want Jackson to do the Hobbit as a single movie. I WANT THE BATTLE OF FIVE ARMIES DAMNIT!

Ditto! And more emphasis needs to be put on all the cool mythical swords, Glamdrig, Sting, Orcrist... :)

---Fred

[Fred]

Originally posted by wyn1370
Ok, I gotta stick up for one of my favorite characters. Everybody loves to pick on the fat hobbit, but Sam has to be one of the biggest players in the whole story. Sure Frodo had the job of carring the ring and you can see how this effects him, a lesser person would not have been able to withstand it that long. But the one constant thing is Sam's unwaivering loyalty and determination. It's almost like chewie in ANH and not getting presented a medal at the end. Sam does his part simply out of his loyalty to Frodo, he gets none of the respect, no trip on the white ship, nothing. Sure he cries a lot, but hell I would too if I was stuck in his place. He is forced to leave his cozy little life behind and become a hardened warrior and adventurer in a very short time frame. Yet he does all of this with minimal complaint. In the book Tolkien talks about how Sam knows that they will not make it back from the trip to mt. doom, but does that dampen his spirits or determination? nope not one bit.
So there's my toast to sam, the whipping boy of middle earth.

But, he does get a ride on the white ship... Oops, not in the movie, its in the appendix of the books... and he also becomes Mayor of the Shire for... 7 terms? 8?

Sam is one of my most favorite characters, Frodo I loathe for some reason...

[lopxtc]

Not to mention that the gift that Galadriel gave him was used to give life back to the shire. In the movie he was given rope as his gift, which isnt true ... he got the rope because he expressed an interest in rope making and one of the other elf's gives it to him. He actually was given a seed and some dirt from the forest. He plants these back in the shire after it had been partially raised by Saruman and Wormtounge ...

Aaron

Originally posted by Fred


But, he does get a ride on the white ship... Oops, not in the movie, its in the appendix of the books... and he also becomes Mayor of the Shire for... 7 terms? 8?

Sam is one of my most favorite characters, Frodo I loathe for some reason...

[1stdeadeye]

Originally posted by Fred


But, he does get a ride on the white ship... Oops, not in the movie, its in the appendix of the books... and he also becomes Mayor of the Shire for... 7 terms? 8?

I remember Sam getting married and becoming mayor. However he did not leave for the greyhavens with Frodo and the others. He stayed in the Shire.

I remember someone told him though he was once a ring bearer that his place was in the shire.