READ: Your Marker determines your life

[Python14]

I posted this almost 4 years ago on Paintball City, then again on PBN when I joined there 3 years ago. Someone asked me about it the other day so I found it again, revised it, and added some new markers to it. Here it goes....

NOTE: This is a joke by the way. Do not take it seriously in any way shape or form. Loosen up and fart before you read this, just to relax a little bit more.

Also, in case you are wondering where I come up with this generalizations, it mainly comes from personal experiences and such.

INSTRUCTIONS: FIND YOUR MARKER AND READ THE DESCRIPTION OF WHAT TYPE FO PERSON YOU ARE.



-PGP:I'm a meat and potatoes person
-P68:I eat my meat and potatoes with a 12 inch fork
-Phantom:Simplicity is my middle name
-Maverick/Trracer:I'm all skill
-Spyder:I think I'm cool
-M98:I am cool
-Model 83:I wish I was cool
-Talon:I'm in the 4th grade
-Raptor:I'm in the 4th grade and get an allowance
-Rainmaker:I'm in the 5th grade and get have rich parents
-Nelspot007:Back in my day....
-Automag:I like to go 4 wheeling in my jeep
-Autococker:I was born with a screw driver in my hand
-Dark Cocker:I was born with a multicolored screwdriver set.
-Sandridge F5:I was born with a DeWalt cordless drill
-Shocker:I know what I'm doing
-Impulse:I know what I'm doing and I'm still in highschool
-Vision Impulse:I know what I'm doing but know too much
-Defiant:I know vaguely whats going on but still I'm confused
-Any custom Impulse: I bleach my hair
-Adrenalin Impulse: wow, I can spend spend spend
-Timmy:I can jump, kick , and shoot my way thru problems
-Bushmaster 2000:I replaced skill with paint
-Angel LED/LCD:I play in national Tournaments, or atleast I pretend to
-Angel IR3:Fattie Fat Fat FAT
-Angel Speed:My gun is ugly and I don't care, my gun is ugly and I don't care....
-E-blade Cocker: I have a comb over. If I'm not old enough to yet, I will when I get old enough.
-Revenge2:I buy fake stuff and say it's real
-Mini-mag:I live in a one room apartment
-Micro-mag:I share a one room apartment
-E-mag: I sold my soul to Satan for a case of paint
-Evolution Autococker:I love British life
-Piranha:I don't care about labels
-03 Shocker: I've jump the gun so many times that they now have two guns. One for me, and one for everyone else.
-X-mag: Midlife Crisis
-ULE anything: See above
-Matrix LED: My Timmy isn't working, as usual.
-Matrix LCD: My Timmy never works, ever.
-Trauma Matrix: Hop in my IROC, we'll go for a ride.
-GZ Timmy: I understand value
-A5:"Two Tangos at 3 o'clock"
-BKO: Huh? You said something about me being frugal.
-Viking: I don't buy into hype, unless it's cool.
-SFL E-mag: Yea, they only made a few of these babys. Danny, or Dan as he asked me to call him, said I got real lucky with this one. Yea, it's got 26 bps capable and a level 10 anti-chop system installed professionally.(I am imagining the arrogant guy from the snickers "Crunch" commericials)
-Tippman Prolite: When did they start playing paintball in fields instead of the woods?
-RT Pro: I built my own computer
-Nova: Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges.
-Blazer: I worship Wayne Dollack
-Excalibur: "I taketh my sword and stabbeth thee!"
-Lasoya Timmy: I get on your nerves
-NYX Matrix: I totally owned the Lasoya Timmy guy
-Ironman Matrix: Owned is my Middle name
-Python mag: My family came over to American on the HMS OWN-YOU
-Tunamag: <----Badass, no questions asked.
-X-kitty: I have a fan club
-FX Micrococker: I look like an elf, and sometimes play one around christmas.
-Shocktech Timmy: I have wreck, or will in the future wreck an H2
-Shocktech SFL anything: I'm all about performance, and hype, and propaganda, and looks, and everything else.
-Palmer's Chamile:I stole my gun
-Any angel: Sex bought me
-VM-68: My dominant arm is 4 times the girth of my non-dominant arm, and I don't jerkin my gerkin. :)
-RT Classic: I've driven the same Dodge Duster since 1985, and it still rocks
-LI Bushmaster: "I saw Navarone...."
-Alien gun:....Oh man, I'm not gonna touch that one :D

Any gun that is custom annodized:You can't put me in a cage
Any gun painted:I put small animals in cages
Any gun w/ a 16"+ barrel:Quiet, Charlie will hear us
Any gun w/ a double trigger:I can still give peeps the bird
Any gun w/out a foregrip: The name's Bond, James Bond
Any gun w/ a pump:I'm sick of masturbating
You read Facefull: "I read it for the articles":p

[camilion705]

LOL "Two tangos at 3 o'clock" That is the most perfect description!!!

How does "huh?" define me though? Surely you can make up something more refined.


(I know it is a joke)

[LaW]

sfl emag?

[FooTemps]

um... rt pro?

[LaW]

haha thanks love it

[Pacifist_Farmer]

that was beautiful ::sniffle:: I'm tearing up ::sniffle::

[sneakyhacker420]

micro e-mag?

shortblock autococker?



btw, i am 14 and currently own ALL of the guns in my signature, with absolutely no financial support from my parents... :eek:


now theres somethign rare... i know how to completely rebuild and service ALL OF THEM except for the impulse solenoid :cool:

[Evil Bob]

Sydarm = I know kung fu
Pair of Sydarms = I *AM* the master! (http://beagleweb.com/fun-taekwanleap.html)

-Evil Bob

[Brak]

Blazer: "the autococker's my twin? yeah, but he doesnt come to family reunions anymore..."

[AutomagRT1483]

I qualify for....

-RT Pro: I built my own computer
-X-mag: Midlife Crisis (Soon atleast)
-ULE anything: See above
-Spyder:I think I'm cool
-M98:I am cool
-A5:"Two Tangos at 3 o'clock
-Automag:I like to go 4 wheeling in my jeep
Any gun w/ a 16"+ barrel:Quiet, Charlie will hear us
Any gun w/ a double trigger:I can still give peeps the bird
Any gun w/ a pump:I'm sick of masturbating

:D

[Python14]

more added

[LaW]

eh I am not digging them anymore

[UltimatePaintballer]

you have the marker you own determines your life, it has nothing to do with it?!?!?:rolleyes:

[Python14]

you are reading too far into it. The original list was a little more indepth(Because there were only a handfull of guns 5 years ago anyway). I've had to scale it down since. :)


plus, it's 11 PM, give me a break.

[JT2002]

Originally posted by Python14
-Angel Speed:My gun is ugly and I don't care, my gun is ugly and I don't care....

:eek: :eek: HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!! MOMMY!!!! :rolleyes: :D AT LEAST i do support my pball habbit financially by myself. nutttin rips like a speed:p :D

[Python14]

Originally posted by JT2002
AT LEAST i do support my pball habbit financially by myself.

Um...okay? That has to do with what?

[JT2002]

idk. always seems to be a rich snob parents buy evrything when i tell ppl i got a 1400 dollar setup

[FooTemps]

The funny thing about that is that I really did build my own pc.

[LaW]

Originally posted by FooTemps
The funny thing about that is that I really did build my own pc.

want a cookie? :) haha

[Steelrat]

Thats great, I get the eblade comb over and the "I dont buy into hype, unless its cool" Viking line.

Good stuff, pretty funny :)

[dansim]

what about the a4..angel 4 whatever(they rip faster than a speed imho)

[Matt_mg]

Armotech: I was rejected by the army

[Quickling]

HAHAHAHAHA!
Armotech: I was rejected by the army

I was trying to think of where they wold fit and this sums it up perfectly :)

[Python14]

Originally posted by dansim
what about the a4..angel 4 whatever(they rip faster than a speed imho)

I'm not touching that thing with a ten foot pole....and you thought I thought the speed was ugly?;)

[No sKiLLz]

-Lasoya Timmy: I get on your nerves
-NYX Matrix: I totally owned the Lasoya Timmy guy


Hahaha! My best friend "Warbucks" just got a Lasoya and I have the NYX. He's going to cry foul.:D

[LeatherPants]

-Trauma Matrix: Hop in my IROC, we'll go for a ride

AHAHAAH Skillz that's you!!!!!!!!!!

And no I do not have a comb over.

[snoogans]

I share a one room apartment :) lmao

[UltimatePaintballer]

well i was born with a screw driver in my hand, to STAB PEOPLE!!!!:D jk

[Python14]

markers added

[LeatherPants]

I still don't get the comb over....

[Jeffy-CanCon]

Original RT? Stingray?

Me:
-P68:I eat my meat and potatoes with a 12 inch fork
-Maverick/Trracer:I'm all skill
-Nelspot007:Back in my day....
-Automag:I like to go 4 wheeling in my jeep

Any gun w/ a 16"+ barrel:Quiet, Charlie will hear us
Any gun w/ a pump:I'm sick of masturbating

[68magOwner]

Ha! i know what im doing! Ha!....er....what am i doing?

-i own a shocker ;)

[No sKiLLz]

Originally posted by LeatherPants
-Trauma Matrix: Hop in my IROC, we'll go for a ride

AHAHAAH Skillz that's you!!!!!!!!!!

And no I do not have a comb over.

I don't have a Trauma! :mad:








It's an RS not an IROC.







P.S. Would you like some candy, little girl?:D

[**Spectre Red5**]

Haha...I like that A5 one. It really does depict me pretty well actually! Cool post.

[PyRo]

Hmm, funny thing is for the time I had a Jeep I loved to have fun in the sand, mud, huge piles of woodchips, anything I could find :) I miss my jeep.

[Python14]

I do like the photography in Facefull, but I think that the "non-paintball" pics(namely the girls) are uninteresting. If I want near-porn, or porn, I can buy it myself. I want a paintball magazine, not some fashion magazine with nasty models.

[Warewolf50]

Ha i sold my sould for a case of paint.

And the comment about the forgrip, i would put one on my ule'ed y griped mag but i am just too lazy to find the screw, to attach my foregrip.

[Python14]

Duct tape child. Duct tape.

[f3rr3+]

haha

[BobTheCow]

Stingray II - Wal-Mart rox!!
Stingray I - OLD SCHOOL Wal-Mart pwnz j00!!

heh... old school wal-marter right here

**edit** lol VERY very funny, by the way. :D

[sneakyhacker420]

btw, i veiw this thread as more of a Paintball Fortune Cookie than your destiny in life :rolleyes:

[~WarpedRT#2~]

Not a bad post, but seriously, you think the Speed is ugly? No Way! Its a work of art.


Rahter, you saw that too? The guys gun chopped a ball and spit it back up in his hopper, so he takes the hopper off, and just spills hit pod onto the feed neck of the gun! It was great. In the last sequence shot he just throws his arms up and gives up! That was great. You could also see the paint spraying from the ports in the barrel like little hoses. Fatastic photography.

[PyRo]

Hmm, I share a dorm with 3 people and don't have a Micromag, its not right :(
But fun :)
And don't make fun of Irocs :)

[GT]

Originally posted by Python14

-Viking: I don't buy into hype, unless it's cool.
-Excalibur: "I taketh my sword and stabbeth thee!"


viking- i dont mind several different fades of the same color on different parts of my gun.

Excalibur- 500 for an extra selnoid? Sure no problem, I think I have that sitting in the console of my H1.

[AGD]

LOL! Great ones in there!

AGD

[kutter]

Hey, I did not see a PMI-3 or VM-68 in there!

[JT2002]

Originally posted by Python14
-Any angel: Sex bought me


what? heh lol wtf? dont make sensi heh :D

[RenagadeOfFunk]

RT PRO WOOOOOT~!~!~!~!~!

[Python14]

more added

[Z-man]

The Classic RT one is good! I had always noticed that the guys with the Classic RT's were goth or at least liked lots of shiney metal spikes. Most had never realized that a motorized hopper helped and if the gun was not beaten to death, it looked like it had claw marks all over it.

Although the one you have is great, I gotta put down a few for the Classic RT.

"My soul is a dark window of sorrow overlooking a black sea of misery"

"I will slay you with the Dark one's weapon of doom and hang your bowels from my horns of steel"

"they make aftermarket parts?"

"There is no RT, only ZULE!" (ghostbusters).

I'll stop there for your sake. Just what I see.

[InexactMelissa]

Hmm....I have a classic RT, but only have one Bauhaus album and have built several PC's....does that mean I have to upgrade to an RT Pro?

[go_go_thrash]

genius

2k2 shocker
2k3 shocker (hey its light, accurate, easy to use and most importantly aesthitically pleasing even though it looks more like what princess leia used in a new hope than a marker)
a-5 what can i say i was too cheap to buy a motorized hopper and my dad nw uses it for woods ball, and well he was in nam
raptor-30 bucks with tank got it to let friends use so they wouldent gripe about rental fees.
spyder aggressor xt-free (see raptor)

but really genius

[Maclete]

What about the Illustrator?? I ride in the same Jeep with the Automag guy??