Army
09-26-2003, 12:00 AM
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer
expo(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the
auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got
1,000
miles to the gallon
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love
this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before
you
could
continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would
run
on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal
Operation"
warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car.
10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer
expo(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the
auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got
1,000
miles to the gallon
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love
this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before
you
could
continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would
run
on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal
Operation"
warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car.
10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.