Anyone up for a game of Calvinball?

[paint magnet]

Winner gets a transmogrifier!!

I'll start it off-

paint magnet sneaks off toward the goal line, not knowing that his own goal is on top of the opposing team's and will thus negate any score when....

[Cryer]

Cryer grabs the flag, shifting both goal postitions across the field...

[dansim]

cyrer thinks he grabs the flag but indeed, grabbed dansim's clevery disgused black hole vortexer! suddenly a black hole ERUPTS from the flag sucking both itself and the very skin from cryers body into it!
meanwhile dansim grabs teh real flag and runs to the old baseline!

[-=Squid=-]

...but unbeknownst to dansim squid carefully placed goggles on his face which gave the illusion that all of this happened, when I just so happen to be running to my goalline, which has been clerverly disquised as the opposing teams goaline...


edit: I have just been inspired to bust out my old calvin and hobbes books...

[Fred]

Fred reminds Dansim that he needs to run bases 1-7 backwards before he can cross the goal line!

[dansim]

but i thought the fence post was#7, hey who put these goggles on my head??? is this some kinda conspiricay!!??!! how long have i been running around like this? not since birth!! omg what could i have missed ,are they even my parents maybe these are some vision altering goggle that convert aliens to people.....they'll NEVER take me alive, common hobbes we gota warn ... i mean we gotta watch the aliens eat susie!

[-=Squid=-]

Originally posted by dansim
but i thought the fence post was#7, hey who put these goggles on my head??? is this some kinda conspiricay!!??!! how long have i been running around like this? not since birth!! omg what could i have missed ,are they even my parents maybe these are some vision altering goggle that convert aliens to people.....they'll NEVER take me alive, common hobbes we gota warn ... i mean we gotta watch the aliens eat susie! finally after 298 days dansim took off the goggles, but little does he know that he is no longer in America. Squid scored 87 times while the goggles were on. Dont forget, you have to run backwards to score. Oh ya, hobbes is on my side now. But little does he know that im a double agent.

[BobTheCow]

Sucker, that's not hobbes, that's just some stupid stuffed tiger!!!! Hobbes has been running around backwards for me, while I was rearranging the bases, not to mention adding the 8th one. All scores negated, Cow-Tiger duo ravages the score.

Is it wrong that I have more than a dozen Calvin and Hobbes books, AKA the best comic EVER?!?!?

[dansim]

hobbes???,hobbes comeon out old sir pounce alot! hmm where could he be?
wait a sec, im not home anymore, im surrounded in trees.thick green jungle trees.
where am i???
(evil grin)
*thud*
*thud*
*thud*
-The mighty dansimasourus lurks int the prehistoric jungle searching for his next victim-

[Koosh]

TheFlamingKoosh asks for a copy of the official rules... Recieves the calvinball thrown directly at his head as a result.

[-=Squid=-]

ahahha... some of these replies are priceless.

[Will Wood]

Originally posted by TheFlamingKoosh
TheFlamingKoosh asks for a copy of the official rules... Recieves the calvinball thrown directly at his head as a result.
There are no rules, you make it up as you go. Basically, say whatever the hell you want. ^^

[Cryer]

will wood is penalized 14 points and has to sing the teapot song as a result of his explaining the game to a new player. Aswell, he is to be referred to henceforth as "little willy wood" as he forfeits the ball to Cryer, who then tags the flag pole and reverses gravity

[dansim]

*floats into the air* "roooooooaaaaarrr! grrr,huh??"
suddenly the mighty dansimasourus is no longer planted firmly on the ground, he is now the mighty flying dansimadactyl! closing in on america he sees the game of calvinball, and it apears someone is singing the teapot song
"must be a new player dansimadactyl thought to himself"
swooping in he snatches teh ball from cryers mitts and lands in the Ultimate 100 pointzone located on teh top of little willy wood's house

100 points for me!

[edweird]

Edweird gomes to grasp with the fact the number on his jersey is far to high to be a flag carrier... so he posts up on a center left can and shoots a lane. :P

[Will Wood]

I'm a little teapot
Short and stout
Here is my handle
Here is my spout

When I get all steamed up
Hear me shout
"Tip me over
and pour me out!"


Lil willy wood now hops on his right foot and finds the hidden Q box in a bush. He opens it and teleports in front of Cryer, stealing the flag and rolling down into the Opposite zone.

[einhander619]

You mean OUT of the opposite zone! Drink 10.

[paint magnet]

Paint Magnet is desperately searching for the calvinball aboard his Segway human transporter when *bump* he runs over little Willy Wood, who has just rolled down the hill into his path! Stopping to make sure that he is fully incapacitated, he continues...then remembers his secret stash of snowballs! He shifts the Segway into 4WD and heads toward the cache...

[Cryer]

...only to find that Cryer has beaten him to them. +10 points for Cryer. Paint magnet becomes a snow magnet as Cryer turns his cache against him. Cryer then loads the remaining stock of snow balls and heads off after the dansimadactyl...

[chizle97]

The as all was seem to be over and done with chizle rises from the shadows of the treeline with his SNOWBALL THROWING ARMS OF DEATH. each arm whirls an unbelevable amount of snowballs twoards his opponents. They are so shocked that they wet thier pants and start to cry. all of them except cryer because he photoshoped himself out of the game. and chizle stand upon a mountain of carcases, victoriusly holgding the flag over head. "OOOOOOOWWWWWNNNNNNEEEEEDDDD!!!!" he cries as the defeted peoples below look on in aww.

[Cryer]

Except Cryer, who phototshops a mountain of snow overhead chizle97, and reanimating everyone. The game is back on! +500 for cryer! yay!

[chizle97]

chizle jumps to the left of the pile jusy before it hits him +100 bonus points for trap avoiding. chizle then used his 3d studio max 8 (yes brand new) skills to animate a pile of snow and fire to fall onto the computer of cryer thus eliminating him from any further involvement with photoshop. He then grabs the flag and is awarded +100,000 points for being totaly awsome and having demolished his enimies with ease.

[painball]

Painball pushes chizle into a bottomless pit and steals the flag. Little do the others know, but he already has his own transmorgrifier. Quickly he transmorgrifies into a t-rex. Destroying villages and creating mayhem.

[FalconGuy016]

But he turns out to be a homosexual TRex... (!!!)

[ramenjames]

(im not in the mood for a game ...but this thread put a smile on my face *reads all of his C&V collections*)

[Koosh]

Originally posted by Will Wood

There are no rules, you make it up as you go. Basically, say whatever the hell you want. ^^

I know, you dolt, that was the joke! ;)

Koosh grabs the calvinball, jumps up into the treefort and begins assembling his snowman minions to help conquer the Calvinball feild! Muahahaha!

[-Jôker-]

joker releases some sleep gas knocking all other players out for atleast 10 mins,while doing so joker makes a new rule saying all players that were hit by the gas (and all were) are disqualified. joker had a moce gas mask so he was unscathed. JOKER WINS THE GAME!:rolleyes: btw i grew up reading calvin and hobbes;)

[PyRo]

but PyRo just joined and wasn't touched by the gas, he hits Joker with a few tranquilizer darts, anyone unconsious is disqualified. I win!

[breg]

But in the process of shooting off the tranq darts, PyRo accidently shoots him self in the foot and passes out and the opposing team dresses him up like a bride's maid in a plaid dress. Then breg drink a beer to earn extra points for his team while sneezing into the flag.

[dansim]

knock out gas will not affect the mighty dansimadactyl!

[PyRo]

PyRo wakes up in a brides maids dress, and beats up dansim and steals his clothes. Stealing someones clothes is worth 10 bijjillion points. Pyro then proceds to get really drunk earning more points.

[breg]

breg laughs heartliy when PyRo realises that he is drinking near beer actually deducting 10 bijjillion from his own teams score. His team then bunkers him as a result. Then breg finds a fire hose... and hoses down dansim to the point that he washes off the field and winds up floating out to sea winding up in Shanghai

[paint magnet]

Paint Magnet deeply inhales knockout gas but is unphased due to the superextoplasmicazoid properties of his stomach...then sneaks up behind danism and releases his own more potent "knockout gas"! *increadibly loud fart* Everyone else cowers in fear, some start to succumb to the effects of the gas. Paint Magnet gains 1,000,000 points for discovering breg is really an alien (!!) and 2,000,000 for no appearant reason!

[bleachit]

Bleachit then scores 500,000,000 points for pointing out to paint magnet that when you breathe in, the air goes to your lungs, not your stomach. After finding this out, paint magnet passes out and looses 100 billion points, and his lunch

[paint magnet]

*wakes up dazed next to his lunch*

Paint Magnet places a photoshopped 2004 CaPoEiRa (tm) Swimsuit calander in the center of the field. Everyone stops what they're doing to drool...then start fighting over the calander. In the confusion they all step back over their own goal lines and therefore reset their points to negative one bazillion!

Paint Magnet runs away plotting revenge on Cryer for stealing his cache of snowballs, while looking at his own 2004 CaPoEiRa (tm) Swimsuit calander.

[*muttering*] Hobbes must have betrayed me and alerted Cryer to the snowball cache...he'll pay for that ![/*muttering*]

[-Carnifex-]

Carnifex pushes his 'I win no matter what' button! :D

[paint magnet]

...but little does Carnifex know that paint magnet has disassembled his "I win no matter what" button and stolen the parts out of it to Intellifeed his mag, and rewired it to add 1 trillion points to paint magnet's score every time he presses it!

[bleachit]

bleachit points and laughs at paint magnet because he doesnt have any batteries so he can't get his 1 trillion points.

[-Carnifex-]

Carnifex points and laughs because that was his decoy 'I win no matter what' button. In reality, whenever he pushes the button he gives one trillion of his points to Carnifex whenever he pushes it.

[PyRo]

PyRo kills everyone and collects all there points :)

[bleachit]

pyro, in his attempt to kill everyone, actually sets himself on fire. While he was contemplating the irony, pyro didnt see bleachit as he came around and stole all the points pyro tried to collect from everyone else.

[BobTheCow]

Bob points out that 'PYRO' is automatically protected with the fire shield... half the points are returned to pyro, the other 90% to go Bob for enforcing the rules. Bleachit pulls a Michael Jackson and is forced to hide for 2 rounds in embarassment. No little boys allowed...

[PyRo]

If half the points are returned to me, where does the "other" 90% come from. For this display of lack of compitency Bob forfits all his points to PyRo who now posesses all the points again. Pyro generously gives Bob 1 point so he can be in 2nd place. PyRo calls no takebacks on his points so noone else can get them. Pyro declares the game officially over while he has all the points.
Want another round?

[BobTheCow]

But you weren't in the opposite goal in which you started from when receiving your points, thus negating the "game over" signal. Pyro's deducted half a gajillion points, which are thrown freely throughout the land.

Meanwhile, Bob uses his psycho-kinetic grazing skills to locate and acquire all the lost points, flashing them brazenly in pyro's face. Then I eat them so you won't know which stomach to explore.

Sucker.

[PyRo]

PyRo procedes to force feed Bob about 80lbs of X-Lax, then procedes to put all the points in very well sealed containers, load them on his space ship and leave the planet with them, after destorying all other space craft, and the means to build one, or destory his, and ensuring that there were no aliens, and no space debris to hit.

[BobTheCow]

Nah-uh!!!! While gravity was reversed, I sneaked the prize transmogrifier into one of my less acidic stomachs... anticipated your space ship plan (*sigh*, so predictable) I turned hobbes into a fake cow, complete with fake stomachs and, yes, fake points!!!! Now all you've managed to do is piss of NASA. And lose Hobbes.

Speaking of tapioca... I'm hungry, time to eject and hide the points. Somewhere. That isn't in my stomachs, OR a spaceship.

Dare I say: SUCKER!! :D

[PyRo]

PyRo builds a point generation machine that makes points at a rate of a quadrillion a millisecont.
After that PyRo gives bob mad cow disese after making sure it was bob.

[BobTheCow]

Your machine explodes; you pulled a common NASA mistake and programmed it using incompatible units (I mean, seriously, what the hell is a 'millisecont'?!?!?).

In my maddened state I digest all my points, turning them into a previously undiscovered element. Aptly named "Cphilium," it has the distinct radioactive property of nuking post counts. And, because of air pressure and temperature in this case, Calvinball points. Sadly, the cow dies, but so do all the points.

**edited for spelling**

[PyRo]

PyRo procedes to stand ontop of his spaceship laughing histerically as he crashes it into the Calvinball field. He somehow manages to servive reentry and the resulting explosion which detroys the entire universe exept for one point and himself.

[BobTheCow]

But you never actually had any real points, remember?? And cphilium killed all the ones on earth...

[PyRo]

Cphilium takes 8 minutes to work, meaning the points that PyRo had on his space ship were unaffected by the Cphilium, and one of them survived the appocolypse :)

[MayAMonkeyBeYourPinata]

Unbeknownst, to Pyro MAMBYP was hiding on Pyro's ship. And stole the only remaining point in the entire world replacing it with a fake point made out of chewing gum and Ex-Lax. Then MAMBYP runs off with the only point

stupid Pyro

[PyRo]

Damn, looks like its a tie since all existance has come to an end besides PyRo and the fake point :(

[painball]

Painball, finished sobbing over his unexpected sex change, emerges from his force-field protected cave. He notices MAMBYP frolicking in a meadow with a point in his hand. In a furious rage of envy he grasps MAMBYP with his gigantisaur t-rex teeth and throws him into the force-field proteced cave. The then locks the door and swallows the key. Suddenly...

[bleachit]

Bleachit, no longer ashamed, jumps into a time machine, resetting the game. For his awesome act of reversing time, he automatically gets 50 billion points.

[PyRo]

Time travel is an automatic reduction of 50 billion points, for collecting the points from bleachit PyRo gets 1 million points * the current number of members of AO. Painball is disqualified because we dont' like gays :)

[MayAMonkeyBeYourPinata]

Originally posted by bleachit
Bleachit, no longer ashamed, jumps into a time machine, resetting the game. For his awesome act of reversing time, he automatically gets 50 billion points.

MAMBYP grabs the flag and gets bleachit's 50 billion points plus another 54354355423508eight3284 points for doing it while hopping on one foot with his left hand

[bleachit]

ah, but due to MAMBYP being beaten to the punch by pyro, he looses all those points. bleachit then trips mambyp because he is hopping on one foot. pyro then looses all of the points he has gained, and then 15 more because there are currently only 17,779 members currently on AO.

[MayAMonkeyBeYourPinata]

But now that there are 17,800 members on AO MAMBYP gets double the amount of points he used to have, and the calvinball field gets transformed into prehistoric ice age europe

[bleachit]

bleachit immediately runs to what will become France and wipes out everyone there, in a attempt to prevent that nation from ever forming. In doing so, he unlocks the secrets of calvinball, and wins an infinite amount of points.

[MayAMonkeyBeYourPinata]

MAMBYP steals a giant wooly Mammoth's tusk and stabs bleachit, thus stealing the secrets of Calvinball

But MAMBYP drops the secrets of calvin ball into the ocean where they are devoured by the Loch Ness monster.

He then bring the Wooly Mammoth back to his end line and scores this many points *holds up a million hands*

[bleachit]

because Bleachit memorized the secrets, he knows that wooly mammoth tusks cant harm anyone currently in play. Also, anyone caught using a wooly mammoth immediately gets banished to mars. mambyp didnt read this so he didnt know, and is automatically sent to mars. Bleachit remains alone on the continent, ruler of calvinball.

[PyRo]

PyRo transforms ice age Europe into middle ages Europe, and puts "Praise Allah" t-shirts on bleachit and MAMBYP, he then procedes to turn them over to the catholic church, the church gives him 3 million points in exchange for the infidels :)

[MayAMonkeyBeYourPinata]

MAMBYP takes off his shirt, and then returns to mars where he had already made friends with the martians. So he invades earth using the martian's super blaster ships, and blows up Pyro, and bleachit, steals the flag, and returns to Mars.

where he becomes the new leader of Mars, and is thus granted all the points he can eat.

[PyRo]

PyRo gets earths allies on Uranus to help the earth in there revolution against mars. After victory the USS (United Solar Sytem) conviens and votes to invade mars, take all there points, and use a giant reverse tractor beam to shoot there plannet into the sun. The actions are then carried out sucessfully :)

[bleachit]

bleachit, once again calls upon his knowledge of the secrets of calvinball and his knowledge of Star Trek. First, pyro is called on his own rule agaisnt time travel and is thrown into some random pit that may or may not be bottomless. Bleachit, as the ruler of the European continent, and keeper of the secrets of calvinball, calls upon the klingon empire, who are really board in this period of time, to destroy mambyp and his allies. The klingons then save mars from the sun to avoid any crazy cosmic shifts as a result of loosing a major planet.

[MayAMonkeyBeYourPinata]

MAMBYP hid in the Mora Bora mountains during the klingon and Pyro invasion. Thus he survived while all his allies were wiped out.

He then used a brilliant slant point drilling operation into bleachits point vault and stole all of his points once again, and then turned on his chameleon suit making him virtually invisible

[PyRo]

PyRo hops in his trusty helicopter and using infered technology finds MAMBYP and shoots him with tranquilizer darts. PyRo then procedes to take all his points and hide at the bottom of the ocean.

[BobTheCow]

... but then that pesky loch ness monster, greedy for more points, seeks you out. He/she/it gets pissed off that all you've got is a measely fake point (because pyro already used the tranq darts excuse, any points gained the second time around are null and void), and banishes you to a parallel universe consisting entirely of reality TV reruns. Pyro promptly kills himself, but since it was only a parallel universe, you turn up again with your score reset on good ol' planet earth (France, middle ages, of course).

Meanwhile Bob wakes up frantically from a dream about ground beef, mooing the night away. And then munches on some more fake points hidden in the grass. I think I'll take it easy for a while.

[PyRo]

Bobs score is reset because his move was to complex for our feble minds. All points go to PyRo.

[BobTheCow]

Your "feeble" mind is suddenly ravaged by the powers of cphilium. Your points aren't lost, so much as they are transformed... into worthless babble... which is then littered across AO in the form of "posting"... Bob gets any and all remaining points for duely criticizing stupider members. :)

[PyRo]

PyRo points out "stupider" isn't a word, for this hypocricy Bob looses all points. PyRo also develops a cure for Cphilip called Postwhorium.

[wish-had-a-mag]

And wish, who has been cleverly hiding in the corner for some time now, pulls out his (mag) and commands the elves to destroy. The other players battle my elves with ignorance and cockers so I am forced to take out my magic AO helmet, with which I call cphil, who proceeds to smite all the postwhores.

[bleachit]

bleachit then calls wish on his bluff. Wish then looses 50 quadrillion points for pulling out his mag, when clearly he has none. "Wish-had-a-mag" clearly indicates he doesnt. The elves then proceed to attack wish for trying to pull the wool over their eyes. Bleachit thusly wins himself 15 billion more points.

[PyRo]

PyRo tosses wish-I-had-a-mag a mask, then teams up with all the mag owning Calvinball players and begines shooting at him. For organizing this, pyro gets 20 billion points, and every other player with a mag gets 10 million.

[breg]

Breg alerts the president, and the nukes are launched

[paint magnet]

Paint Magnet slaps a 3" "Level 10 Inside" stickers on PyRo's forehead, who is the pursued by an angry hoarde of Intel lawyers bringing a copyright-infringement suit.

Breg alerts the president, but Paint Magnet points out that he failed to mention from what country. Failing to indicate a specific country automatically means that you intended to say the President of Etheopia. Etheopia does not have any global intercontinental ballistic thermonuclear warheads and therefore Breg is deducted 1 billion points x infinity. Undaunted, Etheopia launches a barrage of bottle rockets against Mars, and intergalactic war breaks loose.

*In the dark and secret, in the flames of Mount Doom, Paint Magnet forges a transmogrifier more powerful than the others, One Transmogrifier to rule them all! Muwahahahaha!

[BobTheCow]

Sadly, the "magnet" is destroyed in an unfortunate smelting accident due to a surprisingly strong <i>attraction</i> to his one transmogrifier.

[sharpshooter1286]

sharpshooter steals it and flys away and leaves space mines in his trail so that no one can get him!

[PyRo]

PyRo uses the transporter he has contructed to get infront of the mines, he then takes them from sharpshooter and runs off :)