71 LS6
03-25-2004, 06:02 PM
For English today, I was required to give a 3 minute speech about my future, my plans after high school, and how I would get there. So, I talked about my future drug empire.
First, some background info: I was hauled into the counseling office the other day and questioned about drug addiction and clinic depression (I don't have problems with either of these). My speech was basically my way of getting back at the office.
Overview of the speech:
"... We all know that the medical field requires a lot of schooling, college... med school... we're talking a long time after high school here. I have a way around all this. I plan to become a street pharmacist. According to the counseling office, I am a clinically depressed drug addict. I'm tired, I don't do any work, my pupils are dilated, and obviously, I'm on drugs. My plan is to flunk out of U of R next year with a 0.0 gpa, and move to California in a stolen car. There, I will change my name to Tito Rodriguez and build an empire in San Diego dealing crack and Heroin. How will high school help me? Health class has offered a wealth of information on drugs, what to mix, what not to mix, relative market prices, and where I can grow them. With math, I can determine the maximum profit over a minimum amount of time. History will help me avoid legal complications, and Spanish will allow me to communicate with the Colombians. Our speakers from career day all shared the same basic message: Do something you enjoy. Now, we know I don't get enjoyment out of anything, because I'm clinically depressed. That's why I rely on drugs, and why I always will. Unfortunately, as I thought about my future, I realized that in October of 2019, I will get shot in the head by Navy SEAL Jon Hogue. He will be fighting for the US War on Drugs, and I will go down in a deal gone really, really bad. Therefore, I decided I'll probably just go to UR for math."
(Hogue is a friend of mine, who is in the Navy and trying out for SEALS)
My English teacher loved it, as did the rest of the class. One kid fell out of his chair, and a few were crying from laughter. According to the teacher, it was the best 3 minute speech she's ever heard.
The speech had to be around 3 minutes. I got the idea this morning, wrote some ideas on a note card, and went up and winged it. I ended in 3:01. Definitely the best speech I've ever given.
First, some background info: I was hauled into the counseling office the other day and questioned about drug addiction and clinic depression (I don't have problems with either of these). My speech was basically my way of getting back at the office.
Overview of the speech:
"... We all know that the medical field requires a lot of schooling, college... med school... we're talking a long time after high school here. I have a way around all this. I plan to become a street pharmacist. According to the counseling office, I am a clinically depressed drug addict. I'm tired, I don't do any work, my pupils are dilated, and obviously, I'm on drugs. My plan is to flunk out of U of R next year with a 0.0 gpa, and move to California in a stolen car. There, I will change my name to Tito Rodriguez and build an empire in San Diego dealing crack and Heroin. How will high school help me? Health class has offered a wealth of information on drugs, what to mix, what not to mix, relative market prices, and where I can grow them. With math, I can determine the maximum profit over a minimum amount of time. History will help me avoid legal complications, and Spanish will allow me to communicate with the Colombians. Our speakers from career day all shared the same basic message: Do something you enjoy. Now, we know I don't get enjoyment out of anything, because I'm clinically depressed. That's why I rely on drugs, and why I always will. Unfortunately, as I thought about my future, I realized that in October of 2019, I will get shot in the head by Navy SEAL Jon Hogue. He will be fighting for the US War on Drugs, and I will go down in a deal gone really, really bad. Therefore, I decided I'll probably just go to UR for math."
(Hogue is a friend of mine, who is in the Navy and trying out for SEALS)
My English teacher loved it, as did the rest of the class. One kid fell out of his chair, and a few were crying from laughter. According to the teacher, it was the best 3 minute speech she's ever heard.
The speech had to be around 3 minutes. I got the idea this morning, wrote some ideas on a note card, and went up and winged it. I ended in 3:01. Definitely the best speech I've ever given.