Dayspring
04-07-2004, 02:58 PM
Doc's Patented Hype Analysis on the new A4 Fly:
by Doc Nickel
The Fly can cycle and fire paintballs faster than any other paintball marker.
-As far as you know. And hey, you think you can actually pull 23 BPS without "cheating".
Due to its design, the Angel has a shorter firing Cycle time than any other paintball marker.
-We're not gonna tell you just how short, 'cause then you might find out we're lying.
Angel-Eyes works differently to other eye systems.
-They use an 820Nm IR LED, rather than a 800Nm IR LED*.
There is no fixed ‘delay’ built into the cycle time.
-But we're not gonna tell you which delay, 'cause, you know, delaying the firing cycle 'til a ball drops is sort of the whole point of an eye, but hey, "no delay" sounds good. Expect the PBN noobs to be parroting the "no delay" part as why the Fly will be better than anything else.
Angel-Eyes uses new technology to replace the traditional delay used by all other eye systems, further increasing rate of fire.
-Actually, we're using the new technology to replace our earlier antichop technology that, even though we hyped it out the gills, worked about was well as a sack of wet cats.
'Laid Back’ Slayer trigger
-Which is like every other trigger out there, but with a cooler name.
External Vernier Trigger adjustment, with Toe positioning
-We put little wheels on the setscrews. "Vernier" sounds more high-tech than 'dial-a-bounce'.
Smoother Firing Cycle.
-We're pretty sure anyway. Trust us.
Modified gas galleries[...]
-We drilled bigger holes.
[...]allow the Fly’s LPR Pressure to be set way below 50psi, reducing bolt impact and allowing the use of very fragile paint.
-Except that our Patented RotaBreech still forces us to position the boltface away from the ball, allowing the bolt to "impact" the ball, not accellerate it with the bolt.
6 modes of fire
-None of which you can use in a tourney, but are included like the built-in thermometer, to attract the noobs who judge a markers' performance by the number of shiny objects it has.
21 De-bounce settings from Tournament Legal to ‘Oh My God!’ (where permitted)
-We wanted to call it "Adjustable Cheat Mode" but W.A.S. had copyrighted the term already. "Where permitted" meaning "whereever you can get away with it".
Ultra Safe Store Demonstration Mode – The Fly will dry-fire at an insane rate, to offer the store customer a true reflection of its awesome firepower, but will not fire if a ball is present.
-It's actually a software bug, but the marketing guys managed to figure out a way to call it a "feature".
Modified Anti-Jam Twin Anti-Double-Balls. These new pivot action detents are specifically designed for force feed loaders, with extra snap-back to ensure only one ball per cycle enters the breech.
-We added another ball detent with heavier springs. We had to, since so many people with HALOs were having loader-induced feed problems. And don't even get me started on the COPS and Sensi...
Low-Rise Twist-Lock feed.
-You know, like every other gun on the market today has.
Large volume chamber, offering working pressures under 175psi.
-Because, as you all know, lower pressure is better. It makes the ball go farther, more accurately, lets you shoot faster, reduces recoil in total contradiction to the laws of inertia, and makes the ladies flock to you like a magnet.
14" Infinity Barrel
-That's what we call our honed aluminum tube, which is, of course, better than anyone elses' honed aluminum tubes.
Patented 90 Degree Space Frame.
-Damn those people ripping off our design by using 90.1 degree frames!
Custom Fly Back-plate.
-It has a picture of Jeff Goldblum engraved on it. Bling-bling!
Smaller, Lighter design.
-Smaller by 3/32" and lighter by fifteen grams. Hey, on this one, we're not actually lying!
Introduction to Angel-Eyes - A break-beam Optical system like no other.
-Well, except for the ones used on Intimidators for the past three years, the ones the RaceGun has been using for two, and the ones Curt came up with over five years ago, but hey, the noobs don't know that, so we can rewrite history and get away with it.
Angel-Eyes - A dynamic pro-active operation that constantly self-adjusts to the feed rate of your loader, to guarantee a no-chop operation.
-You know, just like the eyes in X-Mags, Raceguns, E-blades, Intimidators, Gabriels, Matrixes, Bushmasters, Shockers and Impulses.
But also NOT like that COPS or Sensei crap we tried before!
Due to the Fly’s rechargeable Metal Hydride power supply the Angel-Eyes break-beam is so powerful it can sometimes be seen with the naked eye.
-Whuzzuh? I'm going to have to have a word with the marketing department...
It will see through paint, grease, dirt and debris.
-And sometimes, it can even see through the ball itself, but the marketing guys assure me that's not a drawback.
No other eye system can match the Angels EyeQ.
-Except, you know, the eyes in X-Mags, Raceguns, E-blades, Intimidators, Gabriels, Matrixes, Bushmasters, Shockers and Impulses.
Only the finest optical components have been used, to ensure Angel quality.
-Just as the finest piezoelectric components were used in the COPS system. Ah hell, we buy in bulk from Digi-Key like everyone else...
A profiled flexible polymer cover prevents damage from paint or impact.
-It has a plastic cover. Which is, of course, better than the heavy metal covers used on Vikings, Excals and Intimidators.
The Powerful Angel-Eyes system is controlled by the new Fly Board, the fastest, most intelligent and user friendly board ever devised, with achievable fire rates up to 31bps*
-We wanted to use the term "Artifical Intelligence" but W.A.S. had copyrighted that one too.
*Governed only by loading system.
-And if you replace our Govnair reg with one that can actually keep up, and if you set the Self-Cheat mode, er, the debounce mode to zero.
This new technology is packed tightly into the smallest, lightest Angel ever.
-I'd have to check, but I think we said that one already...
Doc.
* I don't actually know, I'm just raggin'. Posted on Mar 11, 2004, 2:27 PM
by Doc Nickel
The Fly can cycle and fire paintballs faster than any other paintball marker.
-As far as you know. And hey, you think you can actually pull 23 BPS without "cheating".
Due to its design, the Angel has a shorter firing Cycle time than any other paintball marker.
-We're not gonna tell you just how short, 'cause then you might find out we're lying.
Angel-Eyes works differently to other eye systems.
-They use an 820Nm IR LED, rather than a 800Nm IR LED*.
There is no fixed ‘delay’ built into the cycle time.
-But we're not gonna tell you which delay, 'cause, you know, delaying the firing cycle 'til a ball drops is sort of the whole point of an eye, but hey, "no delay" sounds good. Expect the PBN noobs to be parroting the "no delay" part as why the Fly will be better than anything else.
Angel-Eyes uses new technology to replace the traditional delay used by all other eye systems, further increasing rate of fire.
-Actually, we're using the new technology to replace our earlier antichop technology that, even though we hyped it out the gills, worked about was well as a sack of wet cats.
'Laid Back’ Slayer trigger
-Which is like every other trigger out there, but with a cooler name.
External Vernier Trigger adjustment, with Toe positioning
-We put little wheels on the setscrews. "Vernier" sounds more high-tech than 'dial-a-bounce'.
Smoother Firing Cycle.
-We're pretty sure anyway. Trust us.
Modified gas galleries[...]
-We drilled bigger holes.
[...]allow the Fly’s LPR Pressure to be set way below 50psi, reducing bolt impact and allowing the use of very fragile paint.
-Except that our Patented RotaBreech still forces us to position the boltface away from the ball, allowing the bolt to "impact" the ball, not accellerate it with the bolt.
6 modes of fire
-None of which you can use in a tourney, but are included like the built-in thermometer, to attract the noobs who judge a markers' performance by the number of shiny objects it has.
21 De-bounce settings from Tournament Legal to ‘Oh My God!’ (where permitted)
-We wanted to call it "Adjustable Cheat Mode" but W.A.S. had copyrighted the term already. "Where permitted" meaning "whereever you can get away with it".
Ultra Safe Store Demonstration Mode – The Fly will dry-fire at an insane rate, to offer the store customer a true reflection of its awesome firepower, but will not fire if a ball is present.
-It's actually a software bug, but the marketing guys managed to figure out a way to call it a "feature".
Modified Anti-Jam Twin Anti-Double-Balls. These new pivot action detents are specifically designed for force feed loaders, with extra snap-back to ensure only one ball per cycle enters the breech.
-We added another ball detent with heavier springs. We had to, since so many people with HALOs were having loader-induced feed problems. And don't even get me started on the COPS and Sensi...
Low-Rise Twist-Lock feed.
-You know, like every other gun on the market today has.
Large volume chamber, offering working pressures under 175psi.
-Because, as you all know, lower pressure is better. It makes the ball go farther, more accurately, lets you shoot faster, reduces recoil in total contradiction to the laws of inertia, and makes the ladies flock to you like a magnet.
14" Infinity Barrel
-That's what we call our honed aluminum tube, which is, of course, better than anyone elses' honed aluminum tubes.
Patented 90 Degree Space Frame.
-Damn those people ripping off our design by using 90.1 degree frames!
Custom Fly Back-plate.
-It has a picture of Jeff Goldblum engraved on it. Bling-bling!
Smaller, Lighter design.
-Smaller by 3/32" and lighter by fifteen grams. Hey, on this one, we're not actually lying!
Introduction to Angel-Eyes - A break-beam Optical system like no other.
-Well, except for the ones used on Intimidators for the past three years, the ones the RaceGun has been using for two, and the ones Curt came up with over five years ago, but hey, the noobs don't know that, so we can rewrite history and get away with it.
Angel-Eyes - A dynamic pro-active operation that constantly self-adjusts to the feed rate of your loader, to guarantee a no-chop operation.
-You know, just like the eyes in X-Mags, Raceguns, E-blades, Intimidators, Gabriels, Matrixes, Bushmasters, Shockers and Impulses.
But also NOT like that COPS or Sensei crap we tried before!
Due to the Fly’s rechargeable Metal Hydride power supply the Angel-Eyes break-beam is so powerful it can sometimes be seen with the naked eye.
-Whuzzuh? I'm going to have to have a word with the marketing department...
It will see through paint, grease, dirt and debris.
-And sometimes, it can even see through the ball itself, but the marketing guys assure me that's not a drawback.
No other eye system can match the Angels EyeQ.
-Except, you know, the eyes in X-Mags, Raceguns, E-blades, Intimidators, Gabriels, Matrixes, Bushmasters, Shockers and Impulses.
Only the finest optical components have been used, to ensure Angel quality.
-Just as the finest piezoelectric components were used in the COPS system. Ah hell, we buy in bulk from Digi-Key like everyone else...
A profiled flexible polymer cover prevents damage from paint or impact.
-It has a plastic cover. Which is, of course, better than the heavy metal covers used on Vikings, Excals and Intimidators.
The Powerful Angel-Eyes system is controlled by the new Fly Board, the fastest, most intelligent and user friendly board ever devised, with achievable fire rates up to 31bps*
-We wanted to use the term "Artifical Intelligence" but W.A.S. had copyrighted that one too.
*Governed only by loading system.
-And if you replace our Govnair reg with one that can actually keep up, and if you set the Self-Cheat mode, er, the debounce mode to zero.
This new technology is packed tightly into the smallest, lightest Angel ever.
-I'd have to check, but I think we said that one already...
Doc.
* I don't actually know, I'm just raggin'. Posted on Mar 11, 2004, 2:27 PM