funniest school essays EVER

[CaptaiN_JacK]

check out these essays...they are hilarious. i remember somebody posted one a while back, and these complete the set. (found it at www.goyk.com --cool site)


http://douglas.min.net/essay/

[slateman]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That fourth one (Walt Whitman) is priceless. Just the last paragraph:

"Walt Whitman died a lonely man in Walt Disney Land. He was on the gondola ride, and he fell out because he wasn't fastend properly to the restraint. Thanks to his dumb ***, now noe of us can ride it anymore. Thanks a lot Walt Whitman"

I cannot stop laughing!!!! Oh jeeez!! I friggin crying here!!

[TransMan]

those were great last one was the best

[LittlePaintballBoy]

Erm... I cant read those, even when I enlarge them. Does anyone have a higher res copy or something of the sort?

[ramennoodles]

so funny, so, so funny, cheeks and stomach hurt from smiling and laughing.

[Ov3rmind]

If my English grade is decent at the end of the year, I'll be sure to do my last essay type assignment like that.

[kdub]

HA! *tear* i am crying.....i havent laughed that hard in a long time....

[bleachit]

wait a minute... if whitman was born in ancient china, why does he hate chinamen? :confused:

[LittlePaintballBoy]

How are you guys reading those? I cant even make out a word of it!

[awesomePballer11]

theres a little thing in the bottom right that enlarges it enough to read smart one

[Jet-Xino]

Here is my contribution to the thread. My friend showed me this paper he had to proof read in his English class today. Keep in mind this is written by a senior in high school. Painful, but hilarious read. Enjoy.


PS. Files are 500kb each (will skrink down later).

Page 1 (http://home.insightbb.com/~p.welt/page1.jpg)
Page 2 (http://home.insightbb.com/~p.welt/paper2.jpg)
Page 3 (http://home.insightbb.com/~p.welt/page3.jpg)
Page 4 (http://home.insightbb.com/~p.welt/page4.jpg)

[DJBacon06]

my brain hurts!! but i have an essay to contribute! this is my friend's introductory essay we always have to do in the beggining of the year.

Me llamo Kyle Cameron Neville. I am in your 5th period gifted language arts class. I am currently 15, pero mi cumpleanos es 11/11/87 so I will be 16 soon. I am average height, blondish hair and white. I'm sure that description helped you a whole lot on singling me out.
When I was in elementary school, I was extremely young, maybe like 5…so the chances of me remembering details of it are minimal. I do remember I had teachers, and maybe a few classes with those teachers. I also had a family that consisted of a mother and a father. My mom and dad had a lot of fun so I have three older sisters. Having three older sisters was not and is not fun at all. I had a dog, but it died. From what I remember I was like a 5 year old child with 3 sisters, a mom and a dad, a dead dog and some classes with teachers.
Now, for my middle school years, I may be able to give you some more details…maybe some names. Well, I do remember moving in 6th grade to my current casa by FFMS. IZOD…I remember that name very clearly. Oh, also I remember flying through a retractable wall…long story. I also started my own religion called Nevillism that had a few followers (I am working on it now, it will be like Satanism without the religion…so kind of like Humanism). My family, at that point, is still the same size because my mom went through menopause I think. We, at that point had two…maybe three dogs. They aren't dead yet so I don't know their names nor what type they are. I do know they like water too much and walking out there to give them it is a bit of a drag. Now, in school I did pretty well. They ran all these tests on me and discovered I have a larger brain than others…. hence me in your class. I still don't see what they are talking about…you may have trouble seeing it too.
9th grade year… oh the memories. Actually I don't have many memories of this year at all. I do remember I had classes and I can even tell you two or three of the teachers I had if you ask nicely. Besides that…nothing happened…nothing at all. My summer consisted of me sleeping throughout the day and staying up at night. If you really want to know my activities at night, you may ask.
I really have no ambitions for this year at all. I am a very unmotivated person unless I am endulging in something I enjoy. What do I wish to overcome in life? That is a very good question, but I figured most that out during the summer, so you won't really see any changes in me this year simply because I am perfect.
Well, that is my essay (can there be a worse concluding sentence than that?). I Now this is probably not what you are used to, but get used to it, because this is who I am, maybe how I am…pick one. As you can see, I am a pretty normal kid, just a little outgoing. I am a completely normal kid who will probably enjoy your class a lot…so please don't sent me to the school shrink, people who have read this think that will be the outcome.

[dwab3000]

http://douglas.min.net/essay/newessay.jpg

lmao...


thats just wrong

i love it