why marines are better than the other services.....

[devildog]

this was just emailed to me, i thought it was funny. if anybody is to wussy enough to take it as a joke, ill take it down, but maybe i can spark a nice controversy ;) :D



US Marine Corps Rules For Gunfighting

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite and professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not
start with a number above 4
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap.
Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker; distance is your friend. (Lateral
and diagonal movement are preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible; protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In 10 years nobody will remember the details of caliber,
stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating and
reloading.
14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they
should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
15. When in doubt, fix bayonets, empty the magazine, throw all
your grenades, and charge.
16. When in grave doubt, ask the Gunny for advice, which will be
to charge faster while shouting graphic descriptions to the enemy of
what you are about to do to him.
Example: "I am going to kill you, *****! I am going to kill you
slow!
I am going to skin you and build a kayak out of your ribcage, rip your head off and **** down your neck!!
17. And above all ... don't drop your guard.

US Navy Rules For Gunfighting

1. Go to sea.
2. Drink coffee.
3. Send in the Marines.

US Army Rules For Gunfighting

1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder.
3. Reconsider the color of beret you decide to wear.
4. Make a movie about a female soldier who forgot to fire her
weapon in defense of her unit.
5. Send in the Marines.

US Air Force Rules For Gunfighting

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. Determine what is a gunfight.
4. Send in the Marines.

[Remington]

Well, as Gunny Ermey says, "HOOOOORAH!" Good stuff there devildog. :D

[slateman]

LOL!!! Thats some funny stuff!!

So...I take it you have some sort of affiliation with the Marine Corps?? :D

[dansim]

marines can kiss my arse, damn jarheads



okay so a group of airforce soldiers are running in formation down the tank trail one day when god wonders what would happen if he took away half of there brain cells *POOF* Sudenly the group starts sing army cadence songs and keep going, god wondering hmmm that was odd i wonder what would happen if i did it again...*POOF* they stay the same singing the same cadence, so god determined says fine, ill show them, i wonder what would happen if i did it again....*POOF*
[insert marines singing]From the halls of montezuma(sp)[/marines singing]


(i was army 11c)

[edweird]

/sips another beverage then complains about stupid TDY to canada and the fact we are flying commercial and taking a 3 hour buss ride into the site.

[00Buckshot]

Welcome back DevilDog....

I choose to rank the services by other criteria... (evaluation is based on extensive personal research at DLI in Monterey, CA)

1) Air Force - cool, freaky, lots of piercings, open minded activities.
2) Army - damn good runner up, especially rodeo activities.
3) Navy - big caboose; ride a wave if the surf is calm.
4) Marines - you got to be kidding; how do you distinguish them?

For those who are still in, you have to go to DLI. Do your self a favor though and take something like Spanish or Portuguese - Best 6 months I've ever spent and the place where I got my first Article 15.

AIRBORNE!

[Target Practice]

You know...I wonder why no one has put the 5th branch on any of these lists? Aren't we forgetting one...?

Okay, here's a hint: Semper Paratus!!!

;)

[behemoth]

Marines. Teufel Hunden. OHHRAH

[00Buckshot]

Always Ready...

You're right... I would put the Coast Guard first as a branch. Their job is every day, 365, 24 x7... saving lives, drug ops...

The rest train and wait for war... even though it comes more often now.

[Army]

Well, technically, the Coasties are under the Dept. of Transportation...but they do have cool boats!

Army Ranger...Waist deep in mud, blood, beer, and grenade pins: "I live for this crap!"

Marine... Knee deep in sand, empty magazines, and shot up duece gear: "I could use some more of this crap!"

Navy SEAL...ankle deep in murky puddles, empty MRE bags, and cold cigarette butts: "That's about all the crap I'm gonna take from you!"

Air Force Pilot.."Cables out? What kinda crap is that?"

[oldsoldier]

Well, I, for one, take offense to this.


















Heh, just kidding. Pretty funny stuff though. Gotta love the professional rivalries.

[devildog]

Well, technically, the Coasties are under the Dept. of Transportation...but they do have cool boats!

Army Ranger...Waist deep in mud, blood, beer, and grenade pins: "I live for this crap!"

Marine... Knee deep in sand, empty magazines, and shot up duece gear: "I could use some more of this crap!"

Navy SEAL...ankle deep in murky puddles, empty MRE bags, and cold cigarette butts: "That's about all the crap I'm gonna take from you!"

Air Force Pilot.."Cables out? What kinda crap is that?"

lol, instead of ranger, you should put green beret, it seems everybody and their brother are a ranger these days......

yeah, the rivalries are more tradition than anything, plus, getting into fist fights with the other services at the bars is soooo much fun. :D

[acropilot19]

Studley Hungwell...
Hero to Women, Children, & small household pets!
Dedicated to Duty, God & Country...
-Wars Started (& Won on Request)
-Blondes Varified
-Virgins Converted
-Riots Instigated (Quelling at no extra charge)
Anywhere
-Air to Air
-Air to Mud
-Bar to Bar
I do it So you dont have to.
;)
The U.S. Air Force: We Deliver Death Right to Your Door- Free of Charge!

[Doobie]

lol, instead of ranger, you should put green beret, it seems everybody and their brother are a ranger these days......

yeah, the rivalries are more tradition than anything, plus, getting into fist fights with the other services at the bars is soooo much fun. :D

You would actualy be suprised how many non-Rangers are in the Infantry. I wish we had more!

The rivalries are fun...ain't they. When I was on the U.S.Army Drill Team, we used to scrap with the Marines in D.C. all the time. We usually all wound up at another bar drinking together and nursing our wounds :)

[Rob218]

This is one my dad used to tell me.

Navy vs. Marine

In a barfight the Marine will "put up his dukes" ready to fight. Sailor boy grabs a chair (or table..whichever is readily available), smashes it into marine...then runs for his life hoping marine doesn't wake up for a little while.

[skife]

I was playing PB with marine poolies before and we had to drive to alpena 4hours away to play, we were riding with a lance corperal and he was telling us about the rivelries

he said somthing like "the navy is only good for one thing, a ride to wherever we fight"

I'm thinking of joining the marines after i get out of HS
my friend is a PFC and just got back from iraq on a leave and i told him i wanted to join the only thing he said was "i hope you like sand"

[anonymousbill123]

compared to the marines all other services are pussies. the army comes in after the marines almost all the time. Go marines!!! even the Navy seals are pussies.

good thread here: http://www.automags.org/forums/showthread.php?t=48062&page=1&pp=30

[Doobie]

compared to the marines all other services are pussies. the army comes in after the marines almost all the time. Go marines!!! even the Navy seals are pussies.

good thread here: http://www.automags.org/forums/showthread.php?t=48062&page=1&pp=30

Thanks for the intelligent input :rolleyes:

Marines...they make the rest of us feel better about ourselves :)
:D

[SGTKennedy]

yeah. i think im going to cry now. im a wuss.

[MrWallen]

Meanwhile, Delta Force realizes who the real enemy is, and so pools the best of all branches... :D

[devildog]

compared to the marines all other services are pussies. the army comes in after the marines almost all the time. Go marines!!! even the Navy seals are pussies.

good thread here: http://www.automags.org/forums/showthread.php?t=48062&page=1&pp=30

eh, there is one in every crowd :rolleyes:

[Hasty8]

Why are the Marines superior to the Army? (I choose to ignore the Navy and the Airforce from this list because...well, they're the Navy and the Air Force.)

Plain and simple. You know all the "super hard" training that you need to take to make it as an Army Ranger? That's what recruits go through just to become a Marine.

The Army has how many different "elite" fighting forces? Green Berets, Airborne, Special Forces, Ranger, yada, yada, yada. The Marines have Force Recon. Simply being a Marine makes you a memeber of one of the most elite fighting forces worldwide.

The Marines act as the President's "go-to" team. At any given time a MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit) stands at battle readiness and can be anywhere around the world in less than 48 hours. A MEU consists of up to 2,200 soldiers with appropriate air, land or sea equipment, vehicles and logistical support.

There are 6 MEU's.
The 11th, 13th and 15th stationed out of Camp Pendleton (where the "Holyywood Marines" are made).
The 22nd, 24th and 26th stationed out of Camp Lejune
And the 31st stationed out of Okinawa, Japan.

These units are the tru "spearhead" of just about any land, air or sea miltary venture and are trained to deal with, endure and even excell in any climate from the rankest jungles to the frozen tundras.

Now, I'm not insulting the Army here. I think they are also stand up guys but pound for pound the leatherneck jarheads take the prize. Our Army is a superior fighting force but remember, the Marines have managed to duplicate acts that the Army has yet the Corps is just a tiny fraction of the size of the Army.

As they say in the Corps, "Everyone is a rifleman first!"

OORAH! :shooting:

[JimmyBeam]

M.A.R.I.N.E.S.

My
A**
Really
Is
NAVY
Equipment
Sir
:headbang:

[devildog]

M.A.R.I.N.E.S.

My
A**
Really
Is
NAVY
Equipment
Sir
:headbang:

Aint
Really
Marines
Yet

:hail:

[H8Train]

(I choose to ignore the Navy and the Airforce from this list because...well, they're the Navy and the Air Force.)

Agreed. :D



Plain and simple. You know all the "super hard" training that you need to take to make it as an Army Ranger? That's what recruits go through just to become a Marine.

Right, I think thats the funniest thing I've read in awhile.I think you need to go look again at the training structures.And maybe look whos under SOCOM. :nono:



The Army has how many different "elite" fighting forces? Green Berets, Airborne, Special Forces, Ranger, yada, yada, yada. The Marines have Force Recon. Simply being a Marine makes you a memeber of one of the most elite fighting forces worldwide.


We have so many elite units because we are special like that. :ninja:











It's old but it's all I have right now.




The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations or A Diversified Approach to Military Operations:

Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.

Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.

Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.

Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicures.

Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.

Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e. cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.

Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel voucher upon return.

Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5-series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using countermobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.

Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALs kill Muslim extremist snakes.

Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection.

Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.

Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.

Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.

Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial encounter, then works feverishly to save snake's life.

Supply: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.)

Transport pilot: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, delivers two weeks after due date.

F-16 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and misses target due to weather.

AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake, snakes don't show well on infra-red.

UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake starts bonfire to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into the fire.

B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.

Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20 seconds, but can't receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons.

Intelligence officer: Snake? What snake? Only 4 of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW.

Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy.

CH-47 Pilot: Slingleg breaks in flight while slingloading anti-snake equiptment, pilot cuts slingload. Slingload lands on snake and kills it. Crew cheif uses dead snake to replace broken slingleg.

Navy Pilot: Draped snake around neck at Tail Hook to pick up chicks.

Military Police: Gave snake a sobriety test for not moving in a straight line.

Signal: Broadcasts 200,000+ watt transmissions in support of anti-snake missions, accidentally electrocuted snake in the process.

Corps of Engineers: Surveyed and researched area for plans on improving flood plain, cant do it because snake is on the endangered species list.

Cooks: Snake sneaks in chow hall. Snake dies of food poisoning.

[obsolete898]

Muscles
Are
Required
Intelligence
Not
Essential

The Air Force sends their officers to combat. Now that’s what I call smart.

[Konigballer]

hats alot of dead snakes H8Train :)

[big E kingpin]

marines can kiss my arse, damn jarheads



okay so a group of airforce soldiers are running in formation down the tank trail one day when god wonders what would happen if he took away half of there brain cells *POOF* Sudenly the group starts sing army cadence songs and keep going, god wondering hmmm that was odd i wonder what would happen if i did it again...*POOF* they stay the same singing the same cadence, so god determined says fine, ill show them, i wonder what would happen if i did it again....*POOF*
[insert marines singing]From the halls of montezuma(sp)[/marines singing]


(i was army 11c)

the chair force doesnt run anywhere

actually we are all brothers in arms. i give the marines credit for everything they do, except for the ones fresh from boot, that i bump into at the bars here in san diego. they think they are the toughest thing out and can out drink everyone at the bar. i personally would rather sit and drink coffee, while launching tomahawks from my air conditioned space, many miles away.

[devildog]

the chair force doesnt run anywhere

except for the ones fresh from boot, that i bump into at the bars here in san diego. they think they are the toughest thing out and can out drink everyone at the bar.

dont worry, we hate them too. thats why we haze them :D :nono: