Sometimes We Get Some Scary Letters>>>

[AGD]

Unedited hot from the mail room for your enjoyment.

AGD

Dear Mr Airgun maker,

I think the idea of making airguns is terrific and brings a lot of fun to people who get hit by paintballs (not pellets though).

Can you make a gun which shoots tomatoes? Just think of the possibilities. In some countries they throw oranges at each other, maybe you could make an airgun which shoots oranges? ???? or water melons, although water melons might hurt if they hit you at high speed. Pumpkins would hurt too I suspect and potatoes yep.

Onions...

Have you ever thought of getting airguns onto the market in Iraq? They might love shooting things, and just think if they had paintballs to shoot at each other, they might not cause any damage, because at the moment, they shoot their machine guns and rifles up into the air and when the pellets come down again, they could easily kill people and noone would even know who did it.

I have never used a paintball gun because I am too afraid of showing everyone else up with my incredible talent. I don't suppose you have that problem.

What size are the paintballs? Are they toxic to suck on? Like if a kid sucked on a paintball would it burst and cause them any grief? Have you tried it? Well try it and see, it might be classed as a hazard to children. They can take toys off the shelf if a child swallows a small part and they choke on it.

Your lightweight aluminium guns look good. I don't think aluminium is such a good material to make guns out of though because with muscles like Mr Schwarzenegger, some people, may just pick it up and fling it over their shoulder and it would land somewhere behind them, and a dog would pick it up and run off with it.


Anyway, your website work is really good or whoever did it. I wish you all the best, hope you can get people shooting each other with paintballs rather than real guns.

Regards

[Rather]

WHOA!! Looks like a 9 year old wrote that! :eek:

I can hardly tell what the kid is trying to say anywhere, through out the entire letter.

[Trick]

Wow... just... wow...

[Tyger]

Please, don't show this person this web site, PLEASE! (http://www.punkinchunkin.com/)

-Tyger

[Blazestorm]

Wow, Tom how'd you get my email?

[Muzikman]

Now that folks is why I love this country:)

[gc82000]

heeheeheeha :D
Ahh the wonderful education system of America.
But are there anymore that you can show us.

[space_weazel_45]

sounds like its a letter for a new "letters from a nut" book, was it signed Douglas L Nancy?

[1stdeadeye]

I though Pyro's letter writing privlages were revoked? :eek:

[Chojin Man]

It almost reads as if English is his second language.

[Army]

Hmmmmmm...paintballing in Iraq...................

[InexactMelissa]

It almost sounds like the work of John Hargrave (http://www.zug.com), but I expect he sticks with bigger targets.

[The Frymarker]

Scary :eek:

[Creative Mayhem]

Bwahahahahhahahaaaaaa!!

[TraXeR]

Thats good, hahaha. At first I thought it was stupid about shooting tomatoes, pumpkins and onions, but then he gets into sucking on paintballs and giving grief, and i just cracked up.. haha!

[ZapTheMad]

Some people spend WAY to much time at the crack house.

[dansim]

wow, pyro can write without a keyboard!!(assuming it was irl since he said mailroom)

[Bolter]

my jaw is now firmly on the floor.......... :eek: :confused:

its almost embarrassing that that was a human writing that.

[Stix]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... made my day :)

[booyah]

that thare is yer publik edjumacation at werk.

gotttsta love dem edjumacation stuffs...

:-)

[Mango]

Fantastic! Send that person a couple classic mags LOL!

[Vanced]

How come I suddenly feel a little dumber... very slightly amused but a little dumber...

Kinda like the feeling I get after some bad reality TV ...

My sympathies Tom... So how long till the Tomato shooting edition T-mag ?
Is that the top seceret product that is on the horizon you can't tell us about ?

[GT]

I just lost 6 IQ points. IF I keep this up I aint gonna make through me schoooool'n.......

* come on gt...... must...... hold..... on*

[magking1971]

Sounds like a letter from a dedacated PBN forum junky.

[evan123]

Funniest thing ever written. Thanks Tom for making my day.

[gibby]

Ooops! I didn't mean to press send! Sorry Tom!! Hehe! Just kidding!! :D

[desslock]

I work for a major credit card co. and I have the pleasure of reading the general public's letters and e-mails. This letter is actually a little more understandable than the garbage I read all day. The best is when I receive letters from doctors or lawyers. My 9 year old nephew has a better grasp of the English language than most of these "professionals" . That letter wasnt that shocking for me. But is still was very funny. :)

[Cryer]

File that somewhere... Keep a journal of letters of that caliber. Never know when you'll need a good laugh.

[Miscue]

Do you possess any super powers? If so, do you use them for evil or for awesome? :p

[deadeye9]

Scary is the right work to describe this letter. Where does the postmark indicate it was mailed from? Probably not written by a kid, the spelling and gramatical style is too well done. The scary part is the rambling nature of the letter, it shows a lack of coherent thought processes.

[Aliens-8-MyDad]

wow he is cool... lol he can come hang out with me and my friends and fit right in! mabey thats a bad thing tho :D

[AGD-OfficeGal]

This was an email, not post - came to me, I forwarded to Tom since by no stretch of the imagination can I be considered "Mr Airgun maker." ;)

Marcia
AGD-OfficeGal
Dragon Lady

[Jeffy-CanCon]

That as hilarious. Thanks for sharing it!

[Rocky Knuth]

All's I got to say is "WOW".....


Roc

[Vanced]

Thank god it was an E-mail ... This sounds like the type of letter that is often followed by a cloud of mysterious white powder...

We wouldn't want anything to happen to our favorite AGD President and his marvelous staff.... ya never know going around with President as a title ...

But that might open up some very cool job oppurtunities ... :p ... J/K !

[Jack_Dubious]

Comedy Freakin Gold I say!!

"Your lightweight aluminium guns look good. I don't think aluminium is such a good material to make guns out of though because with muscles like Mr Schwarzenegger, some people, may just pick it up and fling it over their shoulder and it would land somewhere behind them, and a dog would pick it up and run off with it. "

Madness or Genius????

JDub

[swanster]

lol......... :p

[robertjuric]

I laughed.

[booyah]

Scary is the right work to describe this letter. Where does the postmark indicate it was mailed from? Probably not written by a kid, the spelling and gramatical style is too well done. The scary part is the rambling nature of the letter, it shows a lack of coherent thought processes.


Must be a salesman.... :-)

those who have to work direclty with sales people will completely understand where I am coming from here.

[logamus]

Bwahahahahhahahaaaaaa!!

eggzachery. man that was funny.

[nt2004]

it sounds like those rambling jeremy lavigne essays that someone posted in the friendly corner, or a post from PBN :D

[<Echoes>]

I think it's a joke...it has to be...has anyone else thought so?

Funny though.

[magmonkey]

it reminds me of a book from 2.13.61 called letters to rollins

some insane guy writes all kinds of messed up letters to Henry Rollins (ex lead singer of black flag and the rollins band).

he has written so many letters to him that they have been able to print two books of this guys "works"

it is a real funny read


Alan
Destructive Customs

[Glickman]

wow... my guess is an 8 year old with a bad add disorder...


OO LOOK A SQUIRREL!

[penguinpunk555]

ummmm..... I'm confuzzled.

[C_22]

No words, no comments.... :eek:

[painball]

sounds like its a letter for a new "letters from a nut" book, was it signed Douglas L Nancy?
It doesn't really seem like his style of joke letters. By the way, isn't it Ted Nancy? ;)

[TTCosmo]

Wow.

And I thought that I hated vegetables... :eek:

[needaname]

that is some pridy wird stuf

i finly got my rt pro a month ago and already shot 6,000 rounds through it and had a hole in my hp tank

[RenagadeOfFunk]

...you need a crazy sender e-mail blocker...

...but then again 1/2 of the people from AO couldn't e-mail you...

[gc82000]

this is my third time reading the letter and I can never stop luaghing. Please send us more. I think many of us could use a good luagh at this time.

[rx2]

That reminds me of the letters a friend of mine gets. He works for an auto-parts supplier, and gets a lot of letters from inmates. As you can imagine, they aren't always the brightest bunch. I remember one in particular where he was addressed as "Mr. free catalog guy." Also, they will often write that they are not inmates, but are gaurds, or staff, despite the fact that correspondence clearly states that they are an inmate.