Skoad
07-03-2004, 04:57 AM
I found this to be funny. This is a giant post beware!
F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng
---------------
[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"
Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos"
Bilbo has left the server
Frodo: "***!?"
[later, in Bag End]
Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"
Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"
Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"
Bilbo: "ok"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire
**Later
Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"
Frodo: "***?"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
Sam has been kicked from The Shire
[At Isengard]
Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"
Gandalf: "***?!"
Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"
Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"
**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf
Saruman: "Pwned!"
[on the road to Bree]
Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"
Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"
Frodo: "Ph34r!"
Sam: "Shrooms!"
Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"
[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
Frodo has left the server
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"
Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"
[at Weathertop]
Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"
**the black riders attack
Merry: "OMG!!!"
Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"
Pippin: "***"
Frodo has left the server
**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "***... hax!"
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"
Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "
[on the road to Rivendell]
Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"
**Arwen rides up
Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"
Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?"
Sam: "teh leet Hax0r "
Arwen: "Firewall?"
**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: "Pwnt"
[at the Council of Elrond]
Gimli: "dwarves pwn!"
Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!"
Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"
Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!"
**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth
Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!"
**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters
Elrond: "**sigh, noob"
[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]
Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"
Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!"
Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?"
**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring
Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"
Frodo: "sif!"
Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"
[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!"
Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"
**There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf
Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"
Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?"
Gimli votes to change map to Moria
Votes 4 of 4 required
Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"
[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]
Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"
**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!
Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!"
Boromir: "GL HF"
Aragorn [broadsword] guardian
Legolas [arrow] guardian
Gandalf: "gg"
[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]
Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"
**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well
Gandalf: "teh bookz0r has some clues!"
**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well
Gandalf: "OMG! noob!"
Merry: "d'oh"
**The fellowship hears the ork drums
Boromir: "***?"
Aragorn: "***?"
Frodo: "..."
Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<"
**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come
Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!"
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
ork: "OMG! h4x!"
Gimli: "pwned"!
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas: "lol!!"
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli: "Foos!" Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "ffs, wallhax!"
**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors
Gandalf: "Oh ffs!"
Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!"
Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!"
**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo
Sam: "OMG!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
Aragorn: "omg, pwn!"
**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head
Legolas [arrow] cavetroll
Ork: "OMG! PWNED!"
Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs"
**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks
Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!"
**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw
Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.
Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "AIMBOT!"
ork: "turn it off!"
Legolas: "lolol!"
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
Balrog: "***?"
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
Balrog: "Sif, noob"
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
Gandalf: "D'oh"
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass
Gandalf has left the server
Balrog has disconnected
[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]
**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel
Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!"
Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"
Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"
[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]
Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"
uruk hai: "leet!"
[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]
**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him
Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!"
Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"
Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"
Frodo: "STFU noob"
Frodo has left the server
Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, ***hat!"
**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir
Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Boromir: "****ing campers"
**Aragorn comes across the battle
Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!"
Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"
Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"
**Aragorn goes to Boromir
Boromir: "Damn lag!"
Warning: Connection problems detected
Boromir has disconnected
Aragorn: "FFS!"
[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him]
Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!"
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!"
Sam: "Sif!"
Frodo: "Oh, ffs n00b!"
[In Dream]
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
Balrog: "***?"
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
Balrog: "Sif, inexperienced player"
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
Gandalf: "D'oh"
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevice
**Gandalf pokes Balrog repeatedly with sword
**Gandalf & Balrog hit the deck
Frodo has disconnected
[In Mordor]
Frodo: OMFG!!!
Sam: [TOS Violation] Frodo? 4n0ther p0t dr34m?
Frodo: NS.
Sam: 43t br43d. Elvish br43d r0x0rs.
[Later]
Frodo: F4miliar.
Sam: OMG PACKET LOST! W3’R3 BACK.
Frodo: S0m30n3 4re w4tch1ng us.
[Sleep]
Gollum: My bling-bling pr3c10us…
Frodo: 4tt4ckz0r!
Sam: PWNED!
Frodo: Gu1d3 us t0 M0unt D00m.
[The Mountains]
Legolas: My h4x s33 orks!
Aragorn: Qu1ckly!
Gimli: Lag!
[Uruk-hai]
**Pippin drops brooch.
[Edoras]
Eomer: Theodred w4s WTFPWNed.
King Theoden: Blah.
Eomer: S4rum4n did it!
Grima: BS!
**Eomer reveals the helmet with a white hand on it.
Grima: Banned!
Eomer has disconnected.
[Uruk-hai Camp]
Ork 1: F00dz
Ork 2: No f00dz
Ork 1: H0bb1tz l3gz
Ork 2: No.
Ork 1: War!!!
**Orks attack each other.
**Riders of Rohan WTFPWNed Orks.
*Pippin sees horseshoes.
[The Fellowship]
**Riders pass by.
Aragorn: St0p!
**Riders circle Aragorn
Eomer: [TOS Violation] j00 want?
Aragorn: Where 4r3 Uruk-h41?
Eomer: We WTFPWNED th3m.
Araogrn: F!
Eomer: H4v3 tw0 h0rs3s.
[Uruk-hai place]
**Gimli finds daggers.
Gimli: Th3y g0t wtfpwnt :*(
Aragorn: GD.
**Aragorn finds tracks.
Aragorn: Tw0 m1dg3ts.
[Last night]
Aragorn: Cr4wl3ed 4w4y.
Aragorn: Br0k3 r0p3s.
Aragorn: D1sc0nn3ct3ed.
Aragorn: DNS to Forest!
Gimli: LMAO id10ts, n00bz.
Legolas: W3 must g0 after th3m.
Gimli: F! W3'r3 n00bed!
[Forest]
Merry: H3’s [TOS Violation] ch4s1ng us!
Pippin: Cl1mb!
**Treebeard wtfpwns Grishnakh.
Grishnakh has disconnected.
**Treebeard squeezes Merry and Pippin.
Treebeard: Orkz!
Merry: N0t orkz! H0bb1tz!
Treebeard: Let’s PM Wh1t3 W1Zard.
[Dead Marshes]
Gollum: St4y 0ut of #swampz!
**Frodo walks into swamp, almost drowns from dead bodies.
**Gollum saves Frodo.
Gollum: inexperienced player!!! inexperienced player!!! N000000000000000000000B!!!
[Forest]
Legolas: S0m3th1ng n34rby. B1g H4x.
**Everybody draws their weapons.
**Everybody attacks white wizard, but fails.
Gandalf: I WTFPWNed j00. H1, b4ck fr0m 4w4y.
Aragorn: [TOS Violation]!
Gandalf: H0bbitz safe. L3t’s go to irc.edoras.com!
Everybody disconnects.
[Gates of Mordor]
Frodo: OMFG Let’s go in!
**Two guys see movement.
Sam: F! H1de!
**Two guys look around, see nothing, walk away.
Sam: Elv3n h4x r0x0rs! L3t’s go!
Gollum: N0 N00bz! I h4v3 m4ph4x!
[Edoras]
Party has connected to server.
Gandalf: S33 1RC0P!
Soldier: N0 w43p0ns!
Gandalf: My senile scr1pt.
Soldier: In!
Grima: [TOS Violation] N00bz n0 st4ff!
Gandalf has become admin.
**Gandalf exorcises King Theoden.
Theoden: Grima, BANNED!
Grima has disconnected.
Theoden: Server to irc.helmsdeep.gov
Everyone disconnects.
[Tower]
Grima: Th3y 4r3 c0nnect1ng to H3lm’s D33p.
Saruman: Use w4rgs!
[Mordor]
Sam: P0T4T03Z!
Gollum P0T4T03Z!? [TOS Violation] c00k3ed f00d f0r n00bz!
**War drums!
Frodo: OMFG!
Sam: 0l1ph4nt!
**Faramir’s ambush.
Frodo: WTFPWNED!
Faramir: No, WTFPWWNNNED!
[Hills]
Gimli: H4v3 y0u 3v4r s33n a dw4rf ch1ck?
Aragorn PM to Eowyn (They have b34rdz)
Eowyn: Lmao.
Guard 1: 0mg w3’r3 under 4ttack!
**Guards are owned by Warg!
**Legolas starts shooting.
Legolas: WtFPwNed!
**Legolas does cool flip onto Gimli’s horse.
**Battle
**Gimli is crushed by lots of Wargs.
**Aragorn gets stuck to Warg.
Aragorn has disconnected.
Legolas: Wh3r3 is 4r4g0rn t3h 1337?
Ork: H3 d1sc0nn3cted.
Gimli: N000000000000000000000000000! H4X!!!
[Helm’s Deep]
Eowyn: s0 f3w h4v rec0nn3cted. Wh3r3 is h0t 4r4g0rn?
Gimli: H3 w4s n00bed.
[Tower]
Grima: H3lm’s D33p has b1g f1r3w4ll.
Saruman: I h4v3 13,370 sp4mmz0rs 4nd b1g h4x.
Grima: H0ly!
[Faramir’s Camp]
Faramir: R1ng s0 s3cksy! B0r0m1r g0t wtfpwnt!
Sam: D0n’t t4k3 r1ng!
Faramir: T0 irc.osgiliath.gov!
**Gollum is captured.
Faramir: 0mfg, cl13nt 1s br0ken, h3 t4lks t0 h1ms3lf.
[Helm’s Deep]
Aragorn has connected.
Legolas: 0MFG! H4X! H3R3, 3v3nst4r.
Aragorn: B1g spammz0rs!
Legolas: BS!
Aragorn: W3 n33d b4ckup!
Theoden: Th3r3 1s n0n3.
Elves: w4zzup!
Theoden: w00t.
[Ent Meeting]
Treebeard: N0 f1ght.
Pippin: T4k3 us p4st irc.eisengard.org
Treebeard: OMFG S4rum4n = shiz! W4R!
**Treebeard’s buddies go to kick butt.
[Osgiliath]
Faramir: 0h cr4p! H4x0rs!
Nazgul has connected.
**Frodo tries to give Nazgul the ring.
**Sam wtfpwns Frodo.
Faramir: G3t 0utta h3r3!
Faramir has become admin.
Faramir kicks Frodo from Osgiliath.
Faramir kicks Sam from Osgiliath.
Faramir kicks Gollum from Osgiliath.
[Helm’s Deep]
Aragorn: OMFG spammz0rs!
Gimli: [TOS Violation] g01ng on?
Legolas: W4nt m3 t0 PM y0u or v01ce you?
**Battle
Aragorn: Legolas! T3h w4ll!
**Big explosion.
Theoden: D3f3nd g4t3!
Gimli: D0n’t PM t3h 3lf.
Aragorn invites Gimli to #gate.
Gimli has joined gate.
Aragorn invites Aragorn to #gate.
Aragorn has joined gate.
**More battle.
[Hornburg]
Theoden: W3’r3 scr3wt!
Aragorn: L3t’z rush th3m!
Theoden: [TOS Violation], fine!
**Everyone rides out.
Gandalf has joined the server.
A helluva lotta Rohirim Riders have joined the server.
Gandalf: [TOS Violation] PWN M4ch1ne!
**Saruman’s Army gets destroyed.
[Ithilien]
Gollum: L34d th3m t0 h3r!
Gollum: Y34h!
Sam: Wh3r3 1s h3?
Gollum: R1ght h3r3!
Frodo: L37’s g0!
Sam: s4mw1s3 the Rambo…
T3H 3nd!
F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng
---------------
[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"
Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos"
Bilbo has left the server
Frodo: "***!?"
[later, in Bag End]
Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"
Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"
Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"
Bilbo: "ok"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire
**Later
Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"
Frodo: "***?"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
Sam has been kicked from The Shire
[At Isengard]
Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"
Gandalf: "***?!"
Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"
Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"
**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf
Saruman: "Pwned!"
[on the road to Bree]
Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"
Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"
Frodo: "Ph34r!"
Sam: "Shrooms!"
Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"
[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
Frodo has left the server
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"
Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"
[at Weathertop]
Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"
**the black riders attack
Merry: "OMG!!!"
Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"
Pippin: "***"
Frodo has left the server
**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "***... hax!"
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"
Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "
[on the road to Rivendell]
Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"
**Arwen rides up
Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"
Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?"
Sam: "teh leet Hax0r "
Arwen: "Firewall?"
**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: "Pwnt"
[at the Council of Elrond]
Gimli: "dwarves pwn!"
Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!"
Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"
Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!"
**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth
Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!"
**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters
Elrond: "**sigh, noob"
[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]
Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"
Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!"
Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?"
**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring
Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"
Frodo: "sif!"
Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"
[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!"
Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"
**There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf
Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"
Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?"
Gimli votes to change map to Moria
Votes 4 of 4 required
Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"
[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]
Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"
**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!
Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!"
Boromir: "GL HF"
Aragorn [broadsword] guardian
Legolas [arrow] guardian
Gandalf: "gg"
[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]
Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"
**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well
Gandalf: "teh bookz0r has some clues!"
**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well
Gandalf: "OMG! noob!"
Merry: "d'oh"
**The fellowship hears the ork drums
Boromir: "***?"
Aragorn: "***?"
Frodo: "..."
Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<"
**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come
Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!"
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
ork: "OMG! h4x!"
Gimli: "pwned"!
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas: "lol!!"
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli: "Foos!" Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "ffs, wallhax!"
**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors
Gandalf: "Oh ffs!"
Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!"
Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!"
**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo
Sam: "OMG!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
Aragorn: "omg, pwn!"
**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head
Legolas [arrow] cavetroll
Ork: "OMG! PWNED!"
Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs"
**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks
Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!"
**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw
Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.
Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "AIMBOT!"
ork: "turn it off!"
Legolas: "lolol!"
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
Balrog: "***?"
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
Balrog: "Sif, noob"
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
Gandalf: "D'oh"
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass
Gandalf has left the server
Balrog has disconnected
[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]
**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel
Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!"
Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"
Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"
[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]
Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"
uruk hai: "leet!"
[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]
**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him
Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!"
Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"
Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"
Frodo: "STFU noob"
Frodo has left the server
Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, ***hat!"
**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir
Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Boromir: "****ing campers"
**Aragorn comes across the battle
Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!"
Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"
Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"
**Aragorn goes to Boromir
Boromir: "Damn lag!"
Warning: Connection problems detected
Boromir has disconnected
Aragorn: "FFS!"
[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him]
Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!"
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!"
Sam: "Sif!"
Frodo: "Oh, ffs n00b!"
[In Dream]
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
Balrog: "***?"
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
Balrog: "Sif, inexperienced player"
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
Gandalf: "D'oh"
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevice
**Gandalf pokes Balrog repeatedly with sword
**Gandalf & Balrog hit the deck
Frodo has disconnected
[In Mordor]
Frodo: OMFG!!!
Sam: [TOS Violation] Frodo? 4n0ther p0t dr34m?
Frodo: NS.
Sam: 43t br43d. Elvish br43d r0x0rs.
[Later]
Frodo: F4miliar.
Sam: OMG PACKET LOST! W3’R3 BACK.
Frodo: S0m30n3 4re w4tch1ng us.
[Sleep]
Gollum: My bling-bling pr3c10us…
Frodo: 4tt4ckz0r!
Sam: PWNED!
Frodo: Gu1d3 us t0 M0unt D00m.
[The Mountains]
Legolas: My h4x s33 orks!
Aragorn: Qu1ckly!
Gimli: Lag!
[Uruk-hai]
**Pippin drops brooch.
[Edoras]
Eomer: Theodred w4s WTFPWNed.
King Theoden: Blah.
Eomer: S4rum4n did it!
Grima: BS!
**Eomer reveals the helmet with a white hand on it.
Grima: Banned!
Eomer has disconnected.
[Uruk-hai Camp]
Ork 1: F00dz
Ork 2: No f00dz
Ork 1: H0bb1tz l3gz
Ork 2: No.
Ork 1: War!!!
**Orks attack each other.
**Riders of Rohan WTFPWNed Orks.
*Pippin sees horseshoes.
[The Fellowship]
**Riders pass by.
Aragorn: St0p!
**Riders circle Aragorn
Eomer: [TOS Violation] j00 want?
Aragorn: Where 4r3 Uruk-h41?
Eomer: We WTFPWNED th3m.
Araogrn: F!
Eomer: H4v3 tw0 h0rs3s.
[Uruk-hai place]
**Gimli finds daggers.
Gimli: Th3y g0t wtfpwnt :*(
Aragorn: GD.
**Aragorn finds tracks.
Aragorn: Tw0 m1dg3ts.
[Last night]
Aragorn: Cr4wl3ed 4w4y.
Aragorn: Br0k3 r0p3s.
Aragorn: D1sc0nn3ct3ed.
Aragorn: DNS to Forest!
Gimli: LMAO id10ts, n00bz.
Legolas: W3 must g0 after th3m.
Gimli: F! W3'r3 n00bed!
[Forest]
Merry: H3’s [TOS Violation] ch4s1ng us!
Pippin: Cl1mb!
**Treebeard wtfpwns Grishnakh.
Grishnakh has disconnected.
**Treebeard squeezes Merry and Pippin.
Treebeard: Orkz!
Merry: N0t orkz! H0bb1tz!
Treebeard: Let’s PM Wh1t3 W1Zard.
[Dead Marshes]
Gollum: St4y 0ut of #swampz!
**Frodo walks into swamp, almost drowns from dead bodies.
**Gollum saves Frodo.
Gollum: inexperienced player!!! inexperienced player!!! N000000000000000000000B!!!
[Forest]
Legolas: S0m3th1ng n34rby. B1g H4x.
**Everybody draws their weapons.
**Everybody attacks white wizard, but fails.
Gandalf: I WTFPWNed j00. H1, b4ck fr0m 4w4y.
Aragorn: [TOS Violation]!
Gandalf: H0bbitz safe. L3t’s go to irc.edoras.com!
Everybody disconnects.
[Gates of Mordor]
Frodo: OMFG Let’s go in!
**Two guys see movement.
Sam: F! H1de!
**Two guys look around, see nothing, walk away.
Sam: Elv3n h4x r0x0rs! L3t’s go!
Gollum: N0 N00bz! I h4v3 m4ph4x!
[Edoras]
Party has connected to server.
Gandalf: S33 1RC0P!
Soldier: N0 w43p0ns!
Gandalf: My senile scr1pt.
Soldier: In!
Grima: [TOS Violation] N00bz n0 st4ff!
Gandalf has become admin.
**Gandalf exorcises King Theoden.
Theoden: Grima, BANNED!
Grima has disconnected.
Theoden: Server to irc.helmsdeep.gov
Everyone disconnects.
[Tower]
Grima: Th3y 4r3 c0nnect1ng to H3lm’s D33p.
Saruman: Use w4rgs!
[Mordor]
Sam: P0T4T03Z!
Gollum P0T4T03Z!? [TOS Violation] c00k3ed f00d f0r n00bz!
**War drums!
Frodo: OMFG!
Sam: 0l1ph4nt!
**Faramir’s ambush.
Frodo: WTFPWNED!
Faramir: No, WTFPWWNNNED!
[Hills]
Gimli: H4v3 y0u 3v4r s33n a dw4rf ch1ck?
Aragorn PM to Eowyn (They have b34rdz)
Eowyn: Lmao.
Guard 1: 0mg w3’r3 under 4ttack!
**Guards are owned by Warg!
**Legolas starts shooting.
Legolas: WtFPwNed!
**Legolas does cool flip onto Gimli’s horse.
**Battle
**Gimli is crushed by lots of Wargs.
**Aragorn gets stuck to Warg.
Aragorn has disconnected.
Legolas: Wh3r3 is 4r4g0rn t3h 1337?
Ork: H3 d1sc0nn3cted.
Gimli: N000000000000000000000000000! H4X!!!
[Helm’s Deep]
Eowyn: s0 f3w h4v rec0nn3cted. Wh3r3 is h0t 4r4g0rn?
Gimli: H3 w4s n00bed.
[Tower]
Grima: H3lm’s D33p has b1g f1r3w4ll.
Saruman: I h4v3 13,370 sp4mmz0rs 4nd b1g h4x.
Grima: H0ly!
[Faramir’s Camp]
Faramir: R1ng s0 s3cksy! B0r0m1r g0t wtfpwnt!
Sam: D0n’t t4k3 r1ng!
Faramir: T0 irc.osgiliath.gov!
**Gollum is captured.
Faramir: 0mfg, cl13nt 1s br0ken, h3 t4lks t0 h1ms3lf.
[Helm’s Deep]
Aragorn has connected.
Legolas: 0MFG! H4X! H3R3, 3v3nst4r.
Aragorn: B1g spammz0rs!
Legolas: BS!
Aragorn: W3 n33d b4ckup!
Theoden: Th3r3 1s n0n3.
Elves: w4zzup!
Theoden: w00t.
[Ent Meeting]
Treebeard: N0 f1ght.
Pippin: T4k3 us p4st irc.eisengard.org
Treebeard: OMFG S4rum4n = shiz! W4R!
**Treebeard’s buddies go to kick butt.
[Osgiliath]
Faramir: 0h cr4p! H4x0rs!
Nazgul has connected.
**Frodo tries to give Nazgul the ring.
**Sam wtfpwns Frodo.
Faramir: G3t 0utta h3r3!
Faramir has become admin.
Faramir kicks Frodo from Osgiliath.
Faramir kicks Sam from Osgiliath.
Faramir kicks Gollum from Osgiliath.
[Helm’s Deep]
Aragorn: OMFG spammz0rs!
Gimli: [TOS Violation] g01ng on?
Legolas: W4nt m3 t0 PM y0u or v01ce you?
**Battle
Aragorn: Legolas! T3h w4ll!
**Big explosion.
Theoden: D3f3nd g4t3!
Gimli: D0n’t PM t3h 3lf.
Aragorn invites Gimli to #gate.
Gimli has joined gate.
Aragorn invites Aragorn to #gate.
Aragorn has joined gate.
**More battle.
[Hornburg]
Theoden: W3’r3 scr3wt!
Aragorn: L3t’z rush th3m!
Theoden: [TOS Violation], fine!
**Everyone rides out.
Gandalf has joined the server.
A helluva lotta Rohirim Riders have joined the server.
Gandalf: [TOS Violation] PWN M4ch1ne!
**Saruman’s Army gets destroyed.
[Ithilien]
Gollum: L34d th3m t0 h3r!
Gollum: Y34h!
Sam: Wh3r3 1s h3?
Gollum: R1ght h3r3!
Frodo: L37’s g0!
Sam: s4mw1s3 the Rambo…
T3H 3nd!