Things you shouldn't do while bored at work...

[RTDynaflow]

Ok as the title suggests, post stupid things that you have done while at work, bored and usually braindead atm. I will start it off...

I am cleaning my desk up with some 95% alcohol in a spray bottle. I was watching blaze's ND vs CDR practice video. Suddenly I had the urge to attempt to walk the spray bottle of alcohol. :rolleyes: Not the brightest idea, however I figured, what the hell, it's not like I can hurt anything... I get the spray bottle adjusted just right; adjust the trigger spring tension, cut back the slack, adjust the nozzle just right to spray a fine string of alcohol. Finally, after about 15 minutes wasted fine tuning my trigger, I get it set and ready to roll. Step back, take aim behind a stack of boxes, and start snapping. It was all going well, untill my boss walks in all unexpected and stuff. (he didn't even freaking knock... bastard) "Nate, what the hell are you doing..."... .... .... How am I suppose to explain this...??? I just stood there, like a moron, trying to make up a story on the spot, as to why I was laying waste to my office with alcohol. :confused: :( "I... uh... was trying to fix this spray bottle. I didn't want to have to take out of the company funds to buy a new one. You know, with the existing one being fixable, that would be a waste of company profits" :rofl: "Uhuh..." I totally lucked out, he proceded to walk out of the room and head on home, as if the entire incident didn't even happen. Well, I thought so, untill I found out I had ruined some company documents I needed tomorrow. :cry: That and now I have this terrible sore throat. Feels like I drank some bleeche for breakfast :( .

Incase you were wondering... I was ripping on that spray bottle. I had alcohol all over everything. Think I was hitting around 1/2oz / second. Drained an entire 8oz bottle in a little under 16 seconds. Sad thing, I would probably do it all over knowing just as well an outcome.

Share up... retarded stuff at work...

[Rather]

lets see... try and walk on the pwerwasher trigger..... walk on the spray bottle trigger, PLAY with the squirt bottle on the field, imaginary ball, do high jumps over the mega brick, run relays, slide on the turf, hack a paintball off our masks, oh and shoot each other in da butt if someone lets us borrow a gun (mostly ref's playing that day..)


:D :cool:

OH!!!!!!!!!!!!! and use the hand sanitizer to catch our hands on fire...... :mad: :clap:

[Will Wood]

Retarded stuff at work? Oh boy.. how much time do you have? :cool:


Smoking (Illegal)
Drinking (Illegal)
Sleeping (We have a storage room, we 'acquired' some inflatable beds from the general store..heh)
Closing for 10 minutes. (Was really busy.. and I didn't feel like doing more work so I closed so we could catch up)
Food fights (Wooo)
Bleaching the back of people's shirts (This one is mean!)
Putting things in people's drinks (Made a freind puke once)
Putting things in people's food
Stealing crates of drinks
Stealing boxes of food
Stealing tubs of icecream
Taking a hour 'break' to go for a quick swim and dance with some girls (hehe, I got in trouble for this one..)
Taking a half hour to take a shower afterwards (showed back at work covered in sand for kicks...which is half the reason I got in trouble lol)

Really.. the list could go on. For about another 10 pages. We did stupid stuff everyday. Every minute.

[bleachit]

we have a can of compressed air for dusting laying around, a coworker used it till it froze up and I explained why it happened.... then I decided to turn it up side down and spray it to see what would happen... I ended up spraying my hand, only to see it freeze up nicely. that killed a good ten minutes.

[Brak]

dont say "THIS JOB F-ING SUCKS" while your boss comes around the corner. its just bad mojo from then on in

[Will Wood]

Bleachit, rofl!
Well not what you said, but what you said reminded me off some funny stuff.

We have C02 tanks at work (Soda tap)

Trying to freeze things
Filling ballons (lol heavy ballons.. it's amusing)
Turning it on as people walk by and scaring the crap out of them

[psychobillygoat]

I've made these nitrogen bombs - take a plastic pop bottle, add a little water, add a little liquid nitrogen, cap it and throw!!! hahahaha had one guys ears ringing for a good week.
Lucked out though - before I got in too much hot water over it - the guy got fired for trying to buy hookers ( undercover cops) with nitrous oxide. :nono:

[RTDynaflow]

we have a can of compressed air for dusting laying around, a coworker used it till it froze up and I explained why it happened.... then I decided to turn it up side down and spray it to see what would happen... I ended up spraying my hand, only to see it freeze up nicely. that killed a good ten minutes.


LOL we have those too... I love those things.

[Gambit1106]

I was a shift supervisor for an electrical supply warehouse we used to:
Have pallet jack races through the warehouse
Javelin throws with 8ft flourecent bulbs (they collaps on themselves great explosion)
Doughnuts in the parking lot with propane forklift
Bubble wrap bat fights
Many many more stupid things.

Now my current job if I get bored I just go home

[BobTheCow]

Javelin throws with 8ft flourecent bulbs (they collaps on themselves great explosion)Those things are so much fun!!! In an adventure to a closed-down prison (some would call it "breaking and entering," or "trespassing on federal property"), we found a trailer full of a BUNCH. Collected around 50, stood them all up in a corner of a room together, and threw a fire extinguisher at it. INCREDIBLY cool cloud and other effects.

That night I found out they contain mercury and all sorts of fun stuff that are bound to cause me great pain and suffering down the road. :tard: Yay for breaking stuff in a tiny unventilated room!!

[SCpoloRicker]

FARK'ing, CL'ing, AO'ing.

Not sure which is worse, although trying to explain to your boss what you're looking at only to have him say "ahh, paintball... Is that where that thing on your neck came from?" is always amusing.

[matt-o]

Javelin throws with 8ft flourecent bulbs (they collaps on themselves great explosion)
you know those contain mercury right?!?!?

[splatattack33]

at school they were throwing away old thermometers so me and my friends the genious's that we are take them smash them and throw them at eachother and lettign them hit us little did we know that those things are likely mercury and other crap :rolleyes:

[Gambit1106]

you know those contain mercury right?!?!?

I do now, ah well :tard:

[Athius]

When u guys get bored in work do like the guy from "American Beauty" mesturbate. ;) :rofl:

[Lohman446]

One time when the boss was away the police showed up... it seems someone :ninja: was mixing Acetelyne and oxygen in various containers, and then throwing the lit torch at them and they were going BANG.....

[warthog2t0]

i work at a flower shop in the winter time as a helper or what not. but anyways i was left incharge of the store for an hour till closeing. which i hated so i feel the intrie cooler with latix ballons and went home.

[Rather]

FARK'ing, CL'ing, AO'ing.

I know the first and last ones there but not sure about CL....


FARK.com RAWKS! :headbang:

[Bolter]

Dare you to try these.......

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other person must be
in the toilet at the time).

3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
`Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye.`

5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and
grimace.

6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,
`Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!`.

7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
`Sorry, I really prefer it this way`.

8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9) While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.


THREE-POINTS DARES

1) Say to your boss, `I like your style` and shoot him with double-barrelled
fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, `Did you get all that,
I don't want to have to repeat it`.

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as `Bob`.

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you `really have to go do a sh*t

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in
`the report's on your desk, Mon`. Keep this up for one hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, `Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!`.

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, `As God is my
witness, I'll never go hungry again`.

9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: `See how I look in tights`.

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask `You wanna
trade?`.

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: `Do you
hear that?` `What?` `Never mind, it's gone now`.

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, `I can't talk
about it`.

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch
for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants
and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each
biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.



And if that wasn't enough for you...

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. `Due to the economy, we are going to have
to let one of you go.`

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
that.

4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it `IN.`

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write ` FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS`.

7) Finish all your sentences with `In accordance with the prophecy.`

8) Don't use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11) Specify that your drive-through order is `to go.`

12) Sing along at the opera.

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds
all day.

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream `I Won! I Won! 3rd time this
week!!!`

18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,
`Run for your lives, they're loose!`

[Fanatic]

well, a couple of years ago when a was just a newb and very new to the sport
i wanted to find out more about the sport, its history, culture, markers and gear...etc.
i worked for a fairly large semi conductor company making motherboards and such...well since i didnt have internet at my home at the time... i figure i would use company time and property(computer) to answer my questions about paintball.

surfing the web, i went and save pages, articles, pictures apon pictures of paintball and was ready to print them up before i get caught.. so i printed ever page i saved...close to 50 or so.
went to the local printer but nothing came out?? mmm
went back and check the properties on the printer...printed again..nothing
ah i said oh well
seconds right after i shut the pc down several executives upstairs yelling "what the hell is this Sh^@$^#$!!"
eveyone had gathered around several printers printing out load of paintball stuff
and the boss was pissed and wanted to fire who did it

moral of the story: use someone elses computer...but check which printer its goin to print at

[Thordic]

How can you ruin office documents with alcohol? It just evaporates...

[PyRo]

surfing the web, i went and save pages, articles, pictures apon pictures of paintball and was ready to print them up before i get caught.. so i printed ever page i saved...close to 50 or so.
went to the local printer but nothing came out?? mmm
went back and check the properties on the printer...printed again..nothing
ah i said oh well
seconds right after i shut the pc down several executives upstairs yelling "what the hell is this Sh^@$^#$!!"
eveyone had gathered around several printers printing out load of paintball stuff
and the boss was pissed and wanted to fire who did it

moral of the story: use someone elses computer...but check which printer its goin to print at


If they have no way of finding out where the pages came from you need to photoshop pictures of all the executives having gay sex with each other, and other perverted things (S&M, bondage, beastiality, etc), faces on monkeys, hitlar, etc then print it on their printer :)

[Fixion]

you know those contain mercury right?!?!?

Each one contains less than a drop.... around 1-2mm^c Less than the average thermometer ;). A one time exposure isn't dangerous, especially to such a small amount. BTW, all neon tubes that use argon or H-gas have mercury in them. Neon tubes (signs) have more mercury in them than the florescent tubes (used for standard lighting). Don't worry about it, you'll live.

[BobTheCow]

Each one contains less than a drop.... around 1-2mm^c Less than the average thermometer ;). A one time exposure isn't dangerous, especially to such a small amount. BTW, all neon tubes that use argon or H-gas have mercury in them. Neon tubes (signs) have more mercury in them than the florescent tubes (used for standard lighting). Don't worry about it, you'll live.What about my prison story? Around 50... in a very small, closed room... *gulp* :tard:

[mcveighr]

Walmart stockroom, there was these two Honda "mini bikes" in claims, battery powered and said they could operate with up to 160lbs (we're close enough), the claims tag said they were returned because they went too fast for the customers child. Now the backroom is shaped like a rectangle with skids of freight all around the edge, and an island type steel rack in the middle, for more freight, so me and my buddy decided to try out the bikes, they worked, so we had a little race around the back room until I hit a skid and knocked it over.

Turns out there's cameras in the back.

[Fixion]

What about my prison story? Around 50... in a very small, closed room... *gulp* :tard:

50, well... it wasn't a smart thing to do, but I don't hink you'll have any problems. I wouldn't worry about it.

I worked in a neon shop and handled mercury almost every day. Its not the horrible toxic metal that everyone thinks it is. Your parents probably played with mercury in school (I know my physics teacher did). Sure you have to be careful with it, especially if you work around it so much, but its not as bad as you think. I heard of a guy who worked in an other neon shop and was very careless with the mercury, didn't clean up spills unless they were bad, stuff like that... He got tested for murcury, and his body's mercury level was barely above average, even after years of being careless with it.

I would have been worried more about the flourescent powder in them, I don't know if its particularly unhealthy, but I wouldn't go around breathing the stuff in.

[Linkwarner]

I start scripting weird, HI WELCIM TE HADEES, HOOD JU IKE TU TY R U WESTWIN BAKIN HICKBIRGER TOHITE., or just start saying it in different accents. Or as you said, I usually start walking the windex bottle. Or start dancing with the brooms, and saying how stupid certain customers are.

[Athius]

Dare you to try these.......

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other person must be
in the toilet at the time).

3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
`Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye.`

5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and
grimace.

6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,
`Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!`.

7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
`Sorry, I really prefer it this way`.

8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9) While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.


THREE-POINTS DARES

1) Say to your boss, `I like your style` and shoot him with double-barrelled
fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, `Did you get all that,
I don't want to have to repeat it`.

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as `Bob`.

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you `really have to go do a sh*t

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in
`the report's on your desk, Mon`. Keep this up for one hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, `Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!`.

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, `As God is my
witness, I'll never go hungry again`.

9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: `See how I look in tights`.

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask `You wanna
trade?`.

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: `Do you
hear that?` `What?` `Never mind, it's gone now`.

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, `I can't talk
about it`.

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch
for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants
and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each
biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.



And if that wasn't enough for you...

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. `Due to the economy, we are going to have
to let one of you go.`

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
that.

4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it `IN.`

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write ` FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS`.

7) Finish all your sentences with `In accordance with the prophecy.`

8) Don't use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11) Specify that your drive-through order is `to go.`

12) Sing along at the opera.

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds
all day.

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream `I Won! I Won! 3rd time this
week!!!`

18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,
`Run for your lives, they're loose!`

LOL Dude that was good here a couple of mine:

1. Tell to a co-worker that your boss told you to tell him that he is fired.

2. When u are in a meeting ask for a bathroom permit to the guy that is speakin when u return ask again.

3. Whenever theres a exchange of christmas presents and the person u have to exhange a present is a woman buy her a sextoy. When she opens it a realize what it is tell her that u are sorry that u confuse your wife's christmas present with hers.

[felony]

umm.. i am a college pro painter over the summer.. stupid stuff on the job.

drinking and smoking while staining dudes deck (he bought us the beer[underage])

climbing a 32 foot ladder, cig, paintb brush and 5 gallon bucket full of paint somewhere on your persons as you walk up.

the lets jump from to roof to ladder with someone stabalizin it at the bottom trick.. which is awesome.

the "lets paint something on top of the chimney where no one will see it" got some funny stuff on somepeoples chimneys.

[RTDynaflow]

How can you ruin office documents with alcohol? It just evaporates...
Apparently you can't seem to fathom how much alcohol was layed out...I went through probably 20 oz of it. At one point I was thinking about making some type of quick loader ... :rolleyes:

It blurs the images and text.

[RTDynaflow]

LOL Dude that was good here a couple of mine:

1. Tell to a co-worker that your boss told you to tell him that he is fired.

2. When u are in a meeting ask for a bathroom permit to the guy that is speakin when u return ask again.

3. Whenever theres a exchange of christmas presents and the person u have to exhange a present is a woman buy her a sextoy. When she opens it a realize what it is tell her that u are sorry that u confuse your wife's christmas present with hers.

LMAO I so screw with the new guys... especially the transfers. We got this guy from vegas in last month. Every week I had him convinced he was fired. Then one day the boss was actually pissed at him and he didnt believe me... :rofl:

I have done half of what is on the other list.

Try this one when you are at a department store... specifically a radioshack during the holidays... Find a fairly high floor stack and superman into. Get up and walk out like nothing happened. I did this last year. They had some cordless phone tower stack. Just walked up to it and when I got about 5 feet away, I took off and nailed it. :rofl: Stood up and walked away. They were all asking "WTH?? are you ok???" just ignore the sales people and continue to walk out the door, never say a word and keep a straight face. :rofl: Have someone film it for bonus points...

You can also try the accidental trip and fall into the Igo spinner. Just make sure you knock it all the way down. They are usually by the front door so that is a huge plus.

Go and get one of their cans of air and tell the sale associate you need to demo it. Before he can say something rip off the tab and start taking out prices tags, products, anything you can reach. Hell 10 bonus points if you flip the bottle upside down and freeze the associates hand. :rofl: