Poor Grades... and He Didn't Listen..!

[JimInVA]

This EBay item should make you glad that YOUR grades haven't been falling off... :nono:

Spyder Flash LCD , U gotta read this, Paintball (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=7108884705&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT)

[SpecialBlend2786]

pwned

[skife]

i've got high bid

[JesseB]

hahahahaha! Thats what you get for being funded by daddys wallet... let this be a lesson to you if you pay for your own crap you can slack off and your parents can't touch your stuff

[SpecialBlend2786]

hahahahaha! Thats what you get for being funded by daddys wallet... let this be a lesson to you if you pay for your own crap you can slack off and your parents can't touch your stuff

wrong.....

[Bob_da_Splatman]

^^^
^^^...How true How true...
I still think its a Wee bit harsh to chastise him this way....If they did that to me I would drop out and join a circus.....of coarse you could only clean cages because you don't have a degree.

[JesseB]

wrong..... no its right... technically if your parents sold your property you can take them to small claims court. And with a preponderance of evidence (51% to 49%) then you will win the judgement. but what kid is going to take thei mom and dad to court. But umm.. yeah I am pretty sure I am basically right...

[skife]

no its right... technically if your parents sold your property you can take them to small claims court. And with a preponderance of evidence (51% to 49%) then you will win the judgement. but what kid is going to take thei mom and dad to court. But umm.. yeah I am pretty sure I am basically right...


technically your parents own everything that is "yours"
until your 18

[SpecialBlend2786]

hahaha riiight, like i'm gonna take my parent to court:p

But yeah. I purchased all my paintball stuff with my own money, and my parents still occasionally take my emag away.

Even if they dont take your gear away they can still prevent you from going out and playing:(

[JesseB]

hahaha riiight, like i'm gonna take my parent to court:p

But yeah. I purchased all my paintball stuff with my own money, and my parents still occasionally take my emag away.

Even if they dont take your gear away they can still prevent you from going out and playing:(

So if you had a paper route and you earned the 900 for your emag when you were 16 and you failed a class and your dad took it to a pawn shop and sold it for 150 bucks and kept it what would you do?

I would take my receipt somewhere and demand some compensation. They do not own anything unless they pay for it. Regardless of age. But this kids dad bought it and bam now he is screwed. One more reason to take initiative and buy your own gear. Sure they can take it away but they can't sell it or throw it away.

[Halliday]

no its right... technically if your parents sold your property you can take them to small claims court. And with a preponderance of evidence (51% to 49%) then you will win the judgement. but what kid is going to take thei mom and dad to court. But umm.. yeah I am pretty sure I am basically right...
I think someone is taking a few Law classes himself......... and how would a kid pay for an item? Anyway it would boil down to Mon and Dad providing Lil' Baller the means to purchase said item.

Personally, I think the auction is being misrepresented. I don't think a parent would put down this kid like that even for bad grades. I think they are just playing an angle.

[SpecialBlend2786]

So if you had a paper route and you earned the 900 for your emag when you were 16 and you failed a class and your dad took it to a pawn shop and sold it for 150 bucks and kept it what would you do?

I would take my receipt somewhere and demand some compensation. They do not own anything unless they pay for it. Regardless of age. But this kids dad bought it and bam now he is screwed. One more reason to take initiative and buy your own gear. Sure they can take it away but they can't sell it or throw it away.

true, i'd try and do something if they sold it. But as far as confiscating goes, i really cant do jack.

[BlackWeenie]

this kids dad is a dick! wow. thats pretty harsh that he would take away something that makes him happy... if i were the kid and my dad did that, i would just intentionally fail. the term at least

[SpecialBlend2786]

this kids dad is a dick! wow. thats pretty harsh that he would take away something that makes him happy... if i were the kid and my dad did that, i would just intentionally fail. the term at least

haha i doubt that would help things

[RTDynaflow]

Depending on his performance during this auction I may throw in a mask, hopper, guppies and a belt. That all really depends on him. So, I will be starting the bidding very low.


Lets see he is getting a 62% in math so lets start it at $6.20


:rofl: :rofl:

I just think that quote sums up my entire belief that most parents don't give a damn about their children. How about, instead of punishing him and taking away stuff he enjoys, you help him get better grades? O no, that would be too much trouble. He would actually have to do some parenting, instead of punishing. Dear god, no, don't let this guy spend any time at all trying *help* his kid! Must... punish... son... for my incompetance.... :mad: :rolleyes:

Sorry, but it is not completely the kids fault. A lot of the blame falls on his parents for NOT helping him, making him study, trying to understand his deficiencies. Instead, we decide to send kids off to school, because it is the states job to raise them and teach them. :rolleyes: :tard: Are you not a direct representation of how you were brought up and experiences in life (general)? Don't take this as "O it's ez to be a parent..", quite the contrary. It just saddens me that so many people either don't care, don't know how, or don't realize. O well, I have my life, and this is outside of it. Why should I care?

[cloud113]

:rofl: :rofl:

I just think that quote sums up my entire belief that most parents don't give a damn about their children. How about, instead of punishing him and taking away stuff he enjoys, you help him get better grades? O no, that would be too much trouble. He would actually have to do some parenting, instead of punishing. Dear god, no, don't let this guy spend any time at all trying *help* his kid! Must... punish... son... for my incompetance.... :mad: :rolleyes:

Sorry, but it is not completely the kids fault. A lot of the blame falls on his parents for NOT helping him, making him study, trying to understand his deficiencies. Instead, we decide to send kids off to school, because it is the states job to raise them and teach them. :rolleyes: :tard: Are you not a direct representation of how you were brought up and experiences in life (general)? Don't take this as "O it's ez to be a parent..", quite the contrary. It just saddens me that so many people either don't care, don't know how, or don't realize. O well, I have my life, and this is outside of it. Why should I care?

Will you be my new daddy? lol

[FreakBaller12]

This is where being a gun whore comes in handy. If your parents take away one gun, just whip out another. Eventually, they'll get tired of trying to sell the guns on ebay and you'll still have gun(s) left. :tard:

[tippmannsniper-]

and this is why i have a 150 pound safe

[teufelhunden]

I'm gonna bid this up a little at a time because it makes me happy when I see parents keeping kids responsible for schoolwork instead of getting on the phone and railing teachers because their kid is a smiling sack of ****.

[pointm@n]

At first I thought you were selling X's Emag or Angel! ;)

[Pickle]

As a parent of kids myself (sometimes if feels like a platoon of drunken midgets) I would do this to my own kids under the right circumstances. Let's keep in mind that we don't know what the kid and parent has done to alleviate his problem of falling grades. I find that when one of my kids misbehaves, taking away something of value to them is extremely effective. Only once have I taken something away permanently and it worked great! Normally it is only for a few days and even then the behavior radically changes. Every kids is different and reacts as such.

One time when my oldest did something wrong I told him that he was goind to have to pay the damages himself by emptying his piggy bank. I was using a lesson that I learned at his age that I still remember vividly. I broke a $50 window and had to empty my piggybank (all of 3 dollars in pennnies) to pay for it. Parents secretly covered the rest. When I tried this on my son he could have cared less. He gladly forked over all the contents of his piggy bank. Needless to say I was disappointed that my master plan didn't work. However, when I continued the punishment to inlcude no dessert that night you would have thought a teletubby had just been center punched with a 50 cal. right in front of him. You just never know.

Selling his Playstation on ebay was a stroke of genius on my part that corrected many misbehaviors. Many times all I have to do it remind him of the PS and he quickly corrects his behavior.

As far as parents taking away kids stuff. As long as the child is under 18 the kid's stuff belong to the parents. Children have very few rights in this regard. Raising my child right is my primary function in life. Making sure that I don't violate their imaginary property rights is not.

[JimInVA]

Well spoken, Pickle! :clap:

[LaW]

Sorry, but it is not completely the kids fault. A lot of the blame falls on his parents for NOT helping him, making him study, trying to understand his deficiencies. Instead, we decide to send kids off to school, because it is the states job to raise them and teach them. :rolleyes: :tard:

Not that his parents tax dollars do not pay for their kids education? Come on now. Some kids just dont get it, and they will never get it. My two younger brothers were brought up the same way as I was. I got straight A's, they both failed out of high school. Blame my parents? How, they did all they could do. You cant always make someone do better in school and sometimes they will never learn. I think its great this guy is punishing his son in this way. At some point you have to put blame on the kid... learn it the hard way or the easy way.

In regards to kids rights... pretty much if your under 18 you have no rights. They are for the most part an illusion.

[The Frymarker]

As a parent of kids myself (sometimes if feels like a platoon of drunken midgets) I would do this to my own kids under the right circumstances. Let's keep in mind that we don't know what the kid and parent has done to alleviate his problem of falling grades. I find that when one of my kids misbehaves, taking away something of value to them is extremely effective. Only once have I taken something away permanently and it worked great! Normally it is only for a few days and even then the behavior radically changes. Every kids is different and reacts as such.

One time when my oldest did something wrong I told him that he was goind to have to pay the damages himself by emptying his piggy bank. I was using a lesson that I learned at his age that I still remember vividly. I broke a $50 window and had to empty my piggybank (all of 3 dollars in pennnies) to pay for it. Parents secretly covered the rest. When I tried this on my son he could have cared less. He gladly forked over all the contents of his piggy bank. Needless to say I was disappointed that my master plan didn't work. However, when I continued the punishment to inlcude no dessert that night you would have thought a teletubby had just been center punched with a 50 cal. right in front of him. You just never know.

Selling his Playstation on ebay was a stroke of genius on my part that corrected many misbehaviors. Many times all I have to do it remind him of the PS and he quickly corrects his behavior.

As far as parents taking away kids stuff. As long as the child is under 18 the kid's stuff belong to the parents. Children have very few rights in this regard. Raising my child right is my primary function in life. Making sure that I don't violate their imaginary property rights is not.


Pickle I have never laughed so hard! :rofl: I like that quote an d may use it someday " Imaginary Property Rights"

The boy is lucky when I was little it was called the wooden spoon came out or a ping pong paddle.

[SlartyBartFast]

Selling his Playstation on ebay was a stroke of genius on my part that corrected many misbehaviors. Many times all I have to do it remind him of the PS and he quickly corrects his behavior.

And THAT is the critical thing so many parents of spoilt misbehaving kids just don't get. One punishment handed out trumps THOUSANDS of groundless threats.

Once with some friends, the other couple's kid kept throwing/dropping a ball from their stroller. The parents REPEATEDLY said "Once more and you won't get it back.", needless to say the kid kept doing it and had a great time taunting the parents.

My kid does that, and the ball is deflated/hidden/disposed of imediately after the warning.

Next time, the warning is enough. Later, the warning isn't even necessary.

[hitech]

Selling his Playstation on ebay was a stroke of genius on my part that corrected many misbehaviors. Many times all I have to do it remind him of the PS and he quickly corrects his behavior.


I've never had to actually sell the game cube. The threat has always worked, so far... That and just not allowing him to play it for a week or so... ;)

[jayloo]

Personally I'd shake the dad's hand.

[RTDynaflow]

I'm gonna bid this up a little at a time because it makes me happy when I see parents keeping kids responsible for schoolwork instead of getting on the phone and railing teachers because their kid is a smiling sack of ****.

I agree. Kind of. I never meant for you guys to take this as a parent was failing... I am so very surprised at the attitude some parents have. Correct, I don't know what was tried in the past. If the guy sat down with is son and tried to help with his grades, tried to understand *why*... That is a different story. No, I wasn't directing this to one parent. After working with a few different guys I have realized that it is a general feeling of "My kid did something wrong - Lets take something away". It is kind of like adding thicker and havier oil to a car that is burning it. Instead of fixing the problem we take the easy way out and just do something to remedy the problems for that moment. Completely realizing (or not sometimes) that the same problem will be back tomorrow - the same *fix* will happen the same way. Problem never solved. Adverted? Most definately. Repeat untill kid is 18 and now you can completely stand on the point - Hey hes the states problem now.


As a parent of kids myself (sometimes if feels like a platoon of drunken midgets) I would do this to my own kids under the right circumstances. Let's keep in mind that we don't know what the kid and parent has done to alleviate his problem of falling grades. I find that when one of my kids misbehaves, taking away something of value to them is extremely effective. Only once have I taken something away permanently and it worked great! Normally it is only for a few days and even then the behavior radically changes. Every kids is different and reacts as such.

The thing is, if excuted wrong it won't help at all. Especially in this type of circumstance. You have seen it from others response - If I was that kid I would go out of my way TO fail - Then what happens? The punishment gets worse - the rebellion gets worse. Go back to my last paragraph... I keep adding motor honey, the more the rings sieze up the more the motor burns oil. Every kid is different, but every kid is the same also. Why don't people use less punishment and more psychology? What I always see, parents don't think from their childrens point of view. Instead they get iritated and either lose their tempers or just not think rationally.



One time when my oldest did something wrong I told him that he was goind to have to pay the damages himself by emptying his piggy bank. I was using a lesson that I learned at his age that I still remember vividly. I broke a $50 window and had to empty my piggybank (all of 3 dollars in pennnies) to pay for it. Parents secretly covered the rest. When I tried this on my son he could have cared less. He gladly forked over all the contents of his piggy bank. Needless to say I was disappointed that my master plan didn't work. However, when I continued the punishment to inlcude no dessert that night you would have thought a teletubby had just been center punched with a 50 cal. right in front of him. You just never know.

Hehe, teletubby center punched with a 50 cal... :rofl: I have wanted to do this since they came out. Back to the subject.... If parents learn to control (read - keep under control) their kids early in life, it is always better. Let them misbehave at 2 and they will at 16.



Selling his Playstation on ebay was a stroke of genius on my part that corrected many misbehaviors. Many times all I have to do it remind him of the PS and he quickly corrects his behavior.

As far as parents taking away kids stuff. As long as the child is under 18 the kid's stuff belong to the parents. Children have very few rights in this regard. Raising my child right is my primary function in life. Making sure that I don't violate their imaginary property rights is not.

One thing I wanted to comment on.... Watch how much you "violate their imaginary property rights", do it enough they will resent you for the rest of your life. Not only that, it will become less effective and start to cause more harm then good. I have quite an odd variety of friends. The ones that are doing the best usually came from parents that had a "Let me fix the problem, not the symptoms" type of attitude.

I remember one story... He had worked he very hard, mowing yards and working paper routes to finally purchase an old beat up car. (Hes 13 at the time btw- Hes 50 some now so this was a while back) Spent everyday in that car, fixing it and trying to get it to point of running. Well, finally he did. And guess what? Exact same thing as this guy (with the auction)... He had some bad grades in one of his report cards. So, guess what his dad did? He sure didn't try and help him get better grades.... He took the keys to the car and said "Guess what? It's mine now". You think he (the kid) rolled over and said "ok"? No, he stole the keys while he dad was sleeping, took the car and ran away. How long was he gone? 3 years....

This is a real story. INfact this "kid" is a neighbor of mine. This is exactly what I see so common. Just on a smaller scale. Don't let that fool you, it may be a spyder, or a playstation or whatever... the effect is still the same. It builds up resentment and anger for the parent. Depending on the wether or not this *breaks* the kid will greatly determine the outcome. If the kid *breaks* he will get upset and give up. However, if his will isn't broken, you have just thrown gasoline on a spark.


The boy is lucky when I was little it was called the wooden spoon came out or a ping pong paddle.

Fry, you were lucky. That is a highly more effective way to punish kids. Taking their stuff away is the easy way out. It causes a lot more harm (read- resentment) to remove something someone cares about then it is to inflict physical harm. As long as both are on the same level... Would you rather be hurt physically or see someone you love hurt physically? Same concept. One hurts you mentally and emotionally, these wounds are harder to heal then a sore ***.

Slarty - I agree. A lot of the problem is it was NOT corrected at a young age. Instead the parent took the easy way out and put up with it, or just used a "bandaid" fix. It is the little things at young ages that change the big things at older ages. Most importantly, parents should punish out of love - somehow I see no love is taking away something someone cares about. Of course some parents resent their kids - particularly the ones that never wanted them in the first place. These people are amongst the worse.

I am sure lots of people disagree with me. That is ok. I am just conveying what I see. I try to look at the world and understand meaning behind action. Logic behind the answer. This is what I see.

Pickle, please, this wasn't aimed at you, or anyone I most definately I am not trying to say anyone is a "bad" parent. I think everyone can agree that they could be better at just about anything they do. Parenting being the same.
^^^^^^
Disclaimer ;)

[JimInVA]

I became a "parent" with my first child. Each day was a new learning experience. And then we had our second child. This would be a piece of cake as we were already experienced at parenting. Right? WRONG! The only "same" thing that could be counted on was that they shared the same Mom & Dad and the same last name. Beyond that it was all new again. This minimal experience suggests that one "fits all parenting style" is pure fantasy.

Jim

[Pickle]

You all make some valid points. For the record I do sometimes spank my children. The 13 year old mowing lawns to only have the car taken away, using the guidelines given, was wrong in my opinion. Help the kid, walk him thorugh it, hold him up, stand next to him, challenge him, goad him, support him, chastise him then resort to more drastic measures. I don't hink anyone here would recommend removing the PS at the drop of a hat. Far from it. In fact my son now has a Gamecube and is extremely responsible with it. I just don't let him watch me play my games. It's not good for a young child to see head shots :tard: . That's another story though :D .

RTD, you are right that it has to be executed correctly. Remember, my making him empty his piggybank didn't work and I then I found something (dessert) quite by accident that worked wonders. In order to do this well a parent has to know their kids and be concious at the same time as to what kind of effect this will have on the kid. Sure the parent knows that smacking little Johnny upside the head will get the response the parent wants but that is not the right way to go about it. Using a canon on the enemy is overkill. Using a well placed head shot isn't. Back to the gaming again :rolleyes: .

Another thing is that parents HAVE to back up their threats. My kids know that when I say, "If you do that again I am going to........" that I will back that up with action. An appropriate action I might add. :)

It is unfair to say the parent has screwed up while the child was young enough to learn. We just don't know that. That would be suggesting that because I sold my kids PS I had screwed up when my kid was young. No one knows that but me and I don't think I screwed up. Remember, I said it was genius on my part :hail: .

Remember though that punishment and psychology can be one and the same. Once I have dished out punishment it becomes psychological to the kid when I remind them of that.

RTD, no offense taken brother. Takes more than that to get my hackles up.

[SlartyBartFast]

Hehe, teletubby center punched with a 50 cal... :rofl: I have wanted to do this since they came out.

Have you seen the BooBahs (http://www.boohbah.com/) yet? :wow: :tard: :shooting:

50 caliber is too humane. Everyone involved in that abomination deserves a very slow and painful end...... :cuss:

Get off your backsides and stop staring at your own navels parents!!! Get involved in your children's lives! :cuss:

[The Frymarker]

[QUOTE=RTDynaflow]Hehe, teletubby center punched with a 50 cal... :rofl: I have wanted to do this since they came out. [\QUOTE]

Have you seen the BooBahs (http://www.boohbah.com/) yet? :wow: :tard: :shooting:

50 caliber is too humane. Everyone involved in that abomination deserves a very slow and painful end...... :cuss:

Get off your backsides and stop staring at your own navels parents!!! Get involved in your children's lives! :cuss:



OMG Boobahs gahhhhhhhhh, that is brain rot at it's finest. My one year old oddly stares at it if I am flipping through the channels....maybe it is some secret baby language.


I won't even go into what I think they look like :tard:

[doc_Zox]

speaking of center punching teletubbies:
http://premium.uploadit.org/docZox/tubbie.gif

:D

[RTDynaflow]

You all make some valid points. For the record I do sometimes spank my children. The 13 year old mowing lawns to only have the car taken away, using the guidelines given, was wrong in my opinion. Help the kid, walk him thorugh it, hold him up, stand next to him, challenge him, goad him, support him, chastise him then resort to more drastic measures. I don't hink anyone here would recommend removing the PS at the drop of a hat. Far from it. In fact my son now has a Gamecube and is extremely responsible with it. I just don't let him watch me play my games. It's not good for a young child to see head shots :tard: . That's another story though :D .

RTD, you are right that it has to be executed correctly. Remember, my making him empty his piggybank didn't work and I then I found something (dessert) quite by accident that worked wonders. In order to do this well a parent has to know their kids and be concious at the same time as to what kind of effect this will have on the kid. Sure the parent knows that smacking little Johnny upside the head will get the response the parent wants but that is not the right way to go about it. Using a canon on the enemy is overkill. Using a well placed head shot isn't. Back to the gaming again :rolleyes: .

Another thing is that parents HAVE to back up their threats. My kids know that when I say, "If you do that again I am going to........" that I will back that up with action. An appropriate action I might add. :)

It is unfair to say the parent has screwed up while the child was young enough to learn. We just don't know that. That would be suggesting that because I sold my kids PS I had screwed up when my kid was young. No one knows that but me and I don't think I screwed up. Remember, I said it was genius on my part :hail: .

Remember though that punishment and psychology can be one and the same. Once I have dished out punishment it becomes psychological to the kid when I remind them of that.

RTD, no offense taken brother. Takes more than that to get my hackles up.

Exactly. It's funny how two people points can be so close yet neither realize it a first. I wasn't judging how you excuted taking the PS, just btw. Err, also, It does kind of sounds as if I implied that if you screw up early you are doomed. It is just a lot more difficult and a lot of parents have a hard enough time dealing with simple thought and simple punishment. Taking into account rebelion, complex emotions, opinions and higher intellect... if they had issues keeping their kids inline when they were 2... they will an immense challenge at 15.

Wether or not he removed the spyder too early, who knows. I think it is a little drastic for just bad grades. For some reason, I don't see this move helping his son get any better grades. If his son shot somone with the pb gun (out of play)... yeah, he is too iresponsible to have it. Now if he would have grounded him from his PS and TV because he sin't studying.. This is what really got me onto the whole issue. He decided to make a punishment that had very little to do with helping his son get better grades.

:cry: I was at the boobah site for 45 minutes one night.... I am so ashamed. It was 3am and I had taken 2 sleeping pills and had a couple of coronas. That is my excuse.

[hitech]

We really don't know they whole story. Maybe he will pull the gun and not sell it if his son can convince him he will get better grades. Maybe he will buy him another one if his grades improve. Maybe he isn't going to actually sell it. He's just trying to make a point. Maybe... Well, you get the point.

I've had to take away video games for over a month. It was for problems at school. Since he is addicted to video games and they were part of the problem, taking them away was the perfect solution. :D

[Hasty8]

^^^
^^^...How true How true...
I still think its a Wee bit harsh to chastise him this way....If they did that to me I would drop out and join a circus.....of coarse you could only clean cages because you don't have a degree.


Come on man. According to the auction it's not like he got this for one bad grade. HE was warned.

And warned,

And warned,

And warned,

and he finally got slapped.

Way to go dad!

[JimInVA]

I think it is a little drastic for just bad grades. For some reason, I don't see this move helping his son get any better grades.

My opinion is that such judgment cannot be made from the outside looking in. We know none of the particulars and consequently have no basis from which to make such an observation.

My 15 year old daughter justifies her "C's" as being acceptable because "C's mean average". I don't accept that! I know that she's simply being lazy and is not doing the work that needs to be done. This is an age when, I believe, one needs to begin to be held accountable for their actions; to accept responsibility and to bear the consequences of inaction. I won't sell her marker - she'd simply shrug her shoulders, say okay, and nothing would change. But I will hold up her "learner's permit" for driving... and she knows it. This is a devastating proposition and is one she's determined to overcome. Not drive?... NO WAY! Suddenly studies have taken on a new level of importance. Too harsh? Not in my opinion. And I am still the parent.

Jim

[Southparkrocks]

time to invest in a safe.....

[Ghetto]

(sometimes if feels like a platoon of drunken midgets) now that's comedy! I have no children of my own yet, but as a child I remember groundings and privileges being taken away more so than I remember spankings.

[BE4life182]

my technique is to pass my classe, with flying colors...that was a tough one to figure out :clap: see last report card i got nothing below a 90, and parents like that which means they throw in some free things here and there. but dont tale this the wrong way, im not spoiled. ive never had my parents buy any paintball items for me. im talking a tank fill and a subway sandwich here.

[athomas]

Some kids get it and others don't. It comes down to a predetermined disposition.

I spend hours of time helping with homework and giving support. There are chores that everyone must do. There are rewards for achieving and penalties for bad behaviour. Yet, the same things that worked on myself, my wife and my sister don't work on my son from a previous relationship. He is exactly like his mother who left when he was 1. He gives up if "immediate gratification" isn't forthcoming. That holds true for schoolwork, sports, video games, everything. He definately didn't get that one from me.

The one thing that works, is "immediate penalty" of removing anything that gives immediate gratification. I remove internet, or video game system, or ground to home. If non of these things worked or if the violation of orders or requirements continued, then I would permanently take things away. You have to get things under control.

Nothing makes a parent sadder, than taking things away from their child, that provides happiness. But if that happiness leads to carelessness, then the item in question has to go.

If selling the paintball gun on ebay puts the point across, then it was a good call.

[coopy18]

If selling the paintball gun on ebay puts the point across, then it was a good call.

Sometimes I think we forget to explain the point to the child. In this case, I think the parent's action is appropriate because... Fail in school = less opportunity for well-paying job... No well-paying job = less money to spend on paintball. As a parent we understand that doing well in school will pay big dividends later on.

The parent isn't "punishing", he is teaching that you have to work hard to get (and keep) the things you want. As long as this point is made clear to the kid, then I have to agree with the parent.

-coopy

[RTDynaflow]

Some kids get it and others don't. It comes down to a predetermined disposition.

I spend hours of time helping with homework and giving support. There are chores that everyone must do. There are rewards for achieving and penalties for bad behaviour. Yet, the same things that worked on myself, my wife and my sister don't work on my son from a previous relationship. He is exactly like his mother who left when he was 1. He gives up if "immediate gratification" isn't forthcoming. That holds true for schoolwork, sports, video games, everything. He definately didn't get that one from me.

The one thing that works, is "immediate penalty" of removing anything that gives immediate gratification. I remove internet, or video game system, or ground to home. If non of these things worked or if the violation of orders or requirements continued, then I would permanently take things away. You have to get things under control.

Nothing makes a parent sadder, than taking things away from their child, that provides happiness. But if that happiness leads to carelessness, then the item in question has to go.

If selling the paintball gun on ebay puts the point across, then it was a good call.

I guess we can agree to disagree. Sorry, but if the kid won't try and doesn't do something even after help has been given and punishment enforced - that is a problem with the kid. Notice - a problem. We are directly effected by our parents and our enviroment. We learn from them and base everything we know from that. How we are raised between 0 and 15 shows it so much. A parent can't simply stand up and say - since he has a problem it is HIS problem. No - It's your problem. If you (figuratively) see it right to punish someone with a problem, that is your call. I would just hate to be that persons child.

What works with one person won't with another. You are also correct, it is hard to make a call from the outside. I have seen the inside with a lot of people. Watched a lot of my friends raise their children. Watched the good ones and the poor ones. It has been proven in a lot of studies, the first few years are some of the most critical. Something all of the parents of kids that had good grades always obeyed and are still in high had in common - they were always fair and had disciplined their kids early on. Also, I never once seen them take something away permanently. Especially something the kid loved. The parents that always had problems had the same incommon. They yelled, their kids never obeyed. They would ground them and throw their stuff away. They never reasoned with their kids or had intelligent conversations. That is how they were brought up and that is how they would bring their kids up. They never saw it - they were making ALL the same mistake their parents made. Most of the kids are failing or doing very poorly inschool.

Everyone is different, but logic and reason will always prevail over punishment and threats. That was my original point, somehow I have completely lost it... IDK. Perhaps my views will change when/if I had kids. I sure hope not.

Nate

[RTDynaflow]

Sometimes I think we forget to explain the point to the child. In this case, I think the parent's action is appropriate because... Fail in school = less opportunity for well-paying job... No well-paying job = less money to spend on paintball. As a parent we understand that doing well in school will pay big dividends later on.

The parent isn't "punishing", he is teaching that you have to work hard to get (and keep) the things you want. As long as this point is made clear to the kid, then I have to agree with the parent.

-coopy

Good post. I would assume this guy didn't. His attitude didn't appear as one of someone to try and talk to his son. Think it would have been better to have just taken the pb gun away. He is very arrogant in his discription. If this was his point, he didn't bring it accross in very good way.... His arrogance leads me to believe he is trying to inflict, instead of inform.

[hAppy]

I bid just because I want the kid to suffer :rofl:

[gc82000]

To me that kid better consider himself lucky it is only his equipment and a paintball event. When I was in high school I was the captain of Guam youth national soccer teams and if my grades weren't pleasing to my parents (b's at least). I would not be able to make trips to other countries. But I kept them up and my parents never complained. Plus they only threatened me once and it was enough to keep me in check. I have been to Japan, Philpines, China, Korea, Nepal, etc. all under the age of 17. And I knew that if my grades were low I would have been able to go. I think a tip to other countries is more important then a $200 marker.
Also how is his grading system is it by tens or another way. At my old high school, grades are by 7, So I keep all my grades had to be at least 87, to maintain a B average. A 62 average will get you kicked out of my old high school.

[coopy18]

He is very arrogant in his discription. If this was his point, he didn't bring it accross in very good way.... His arrogance leads me to believe he is trying to inflict, instead of inform.

That's a really good point. I still think it could have been a good chance to teach a really good lesson, BUT, the way this parent implemented seems to indicate that it is more about embarassing the kid and is pretty mean-spirited.

This brings up a good point about "punishment" in general. Whatever you do, do it right. For example, if you choose to spank then spank - don't beat. If you choose to teach then teach - don't humiliate.

If only it was as easy to implement as it is to talk about. I sure wish there was a "Preview Punishment" button in parenting...

-coopy

[minimag03]

I truely think this is the best auction I have ever seen.

[RTDynaflow]

That's a really good point. I still think it could have been a good chance to teach a really good lesson, BUT, the way this parent implemented seems to indicate that it is more about embarassing the kid and is pretty mean-spirited.

This brings up a good point about "punishment" in general. Whatever you do, do it right. For example, if you choose to spank then spank - don't beat. If you choose to teach then teach - don't humiliate.

If only it was as easy to implement as it is to talk about. I sure wish there was a "Preview Punishment" button in parenting...

-coopy

My point exactly! Thank you for saying what I couldn't seem to get out in 2 pages... :rolleyes:

[LaW]

My point exactly! Thank you for saying what I couldn't seem to get out in 2 pages... :rolleyes:


Some of you people are looking way to into this. I dont see where the humiliation would be, what one persons idea of punishment differs greatly from person to person. Argue it to death have fun... wow the life of internet discussion boards thats all it ever is...

[SlartyBartFast]

(sometimes if feels like a platoon of drunken midgets)

And other times, it's not unlike trying to herd cats. :p

[Flip]

All this from an E-Bay Auction! :D I think someone needs to send the parent of this auction an invite to put in thier $.02, would like to know the true circumstances for thier actions.


...and how would a kid pay for an item

I guess times must have changed, I've been working since I was 9 years old. Not a full time job of course but anything I could do to make a $. Mom & Dad didn't have spare cash, they spent enough keeping me and my siblings clothed, fed, healthy, and in school; so it was up to me if I wanted something special.

If all else fails.... do the banana dance :dance:

[LUKE4696]

And it's me!!!! This guys needs to sell his kids gun and teach the boy a lesson. Then after an appropriate amount of time, he should buy his son a really nice marker as a 'reward' for learning his lesson, with the caveat that it too, could end up on eBay.
-Luke

[Pickle]

Invite sent

[The father]

[CENTER]I have read the posts and think that all of the opinions are valid. I understand there is a lot of People who question my ethics on this matter.
I would like to add that This is the first thing we have ever taken away from him, And believe me i am not proud or happy about it. As a child i remember to this day things and events that were taken from me, and it hurt but i also learned. If it is any Consolation to those watching this He has made a change so far and realized that he has brought this on himself. we are in contact with his teachers and they have stated that he is giving more of an effort. This was a hard decision for me to come to Because i love the game and i want him to as well. Unknown to all of you following this story, There were many Lies told to us and decieveing actions involved.
I want to apologize to any and all offended by this i just know that it worked on me!!
Now i do Believe that NO parent can be right or perfect by any actions we all know it is impossible. No Loving parent (and as mean as selling the gun is i LOVE him) Likes to hurt or humiliate their child in any way, But lets think about this for just a moment If and i do say if This changes his attitude toward things and he learns a valuable lesson. Then we are both winners he will x-cell at his school work and better himself and have the ability to be any thing that he wants to be. I am no hyprocrite when i say this but i was no A student in school and yes i told my share of lies. But my parents always knew when i was lying and i paid the consequences. I dont expect a Miracle here i dont want straight a's but he is failing every class he is in .
We help him with his home work and School projects he just chooses (admitted by HIM) not to turn them in , Why you ask thats the same question I ask. we havent gotten a answer yet
I truely want the best for him and if this starts the good times rolling then so be it !
Now, I understand that this is going to be analyzed and torn apart bit by bit. And i do appreciate that for i may learn something about parenting out of this . if i do i thank you all,
And if he learns something as well maybe he can win in the long run (whatever that may be) and if he dosen't the result will still be the same
That i Love him and will always support him !!
I am just being selfish and want the best for him >
Thank you all for your support in this matter

[daviselk]

wow.. that sucks. I keep mine in a metal locked case, no1 messes with it just my dogs are crazy! if my parents did that... i would prob steal the gun back, hide it, and when some1 won the bid they would get nothing bc they couldent get the gun.

Another thing... what he is doing isnt rly wrong... the kid is losing nothing really. The parent bought it for him, and are now selling it.(just saying that bc i have to buy all my own stuff)

[hitech]

Good luck. And take heart that sometimes the hard choices work. I had to kick out my oldest step-son. After two weeks he asked if he could come back, just for a few days until he could find somewhere to stay. All of his friends were tired of supporting him and booted him out too. I let him come back, and EVERYTHING changed for the better. I'm proud of him now. He has a good job that he excelled at, is married to a wonderful lady and has a beautiful baby boy. So, it can work...

:cheers:

[Bulldog]

Wow, being a kid sucks. Parenting sounds like alot of work too. I Think I'll enjoy being neither for a while! Off to Vegas! :rofl:

[JimInVA]

That i Love him and will always support him !!
I am just being selfish and want the best for him >
Thank you all for your support in this matter

Coming on here and explaining your position was neither necessary or expected. I will trust that my fellow AOers will be as courteous in their replies as you were courteous in your explanation. I hope all works out well! Best wishes to father and son!

A Fellow Dad!

[Pickle]

Coming on here and explaining your position was neither necessary or expected. I will trust that my fellow AOers will be as courteous in their replies as you were courteous in your explanation. I hope all works out well! Best wishes to father and son!

A Fellow Dad!

Ditto!

[rep]

Witholding car keys is a vastly superior punishment. In fact, if my parents ever did that to me, there is no telling what would happen.

I think selling the kid's gun was a solid move. If he is failing every class, that's just sad. You have to make a genuine effort to do that poorly in school. I mean, it is VERY hard. Desperate times call for desperate measures. The dad seems like he knows whats going on. It appears that he plays paintball too, so selling his kids gun must be really hard to do. I respect the guy for that.


And to the kid... :nono:

[RtDaNiMaL]

Personally I'd shake the dad's hand.

o so true

[Flip]

I find it quite amazing that the "Father" showed up, good for you! (sorry I dragged you into this) ;)

Now that I hear the whole story; I can have my own little opinion. Good show! I believe you are on the right track. Parenting is a HUGE deal, and I'm really sorry that so many don't realise that. Those that voiced there opinions are coming from the heart, and that's what makes this the best venue. I figure you are doing what needs to be done and hopefully things will work out right.

[BlackCat]

I know all involved in this situation. The mom, the dad and the son. They are truly a paintball family and have attended several of our events together. It is truly a pleasure for us as a company when we see something like this because we are such a family oriented company. BlackCat Paintball Productions is a family business as well. With this said I must say that I too have a teenage son. Like any other teenager (15yo) he has hormones raging through his body that make him do and say STUPID things. There is NO explanation as to why teenagers do and say certain things. However, it is up to us as parents to prepare them for the "real world", especially at this age when outside influences are so much stronger.

Many of you who have attended our events have met our son. He is always very polite and is a good kid. However, just like your typical 15 year old he is mouthy, needs motivation to do things and I am afraid to walk into his room in fear that something may attack my ankles or that something foreign to this planet is growing under the mess. :eek:

I commend the parents in this case for what they are doing. As stated earlier I know them and they have taken their son to several of our events this year and love and care for him very much. This is quite obvious when seeing them together.

I too at times am VERY tough on my son because I expect him to rise to a higher level of what is expected of him. Although at the times when I am tough on him he mutters under his breath, throws an attitude or argues he does understand that I love him deeply and the tough love that I give him is for his own good. He has even on many occasions told me and his mother that he respects me for it and that he appreciates that part of me.

SO, touche to the parents for taking such an innovative approach to discpline! :clap:

I am sure he will learn his lesson well from this consequence, BUT, to sweeten the pie, I will make Mom, Dad, and let's call him "Junior" an offer. I will bid on this marker and if I am the winning bidder I will hold on to it. If Junior raises his grades and his parents agree I will then give it back to him. To give him some EXTRA motivation, I will throw in a complimentary BC pass to one of our 2005 events and a case of paint for him if he passes everything on his next report card.

Now Dad, you don't get off so easy. You must in turn, use the money from the winning and purchase something of equivalent value, to my spending for the marker, and contribute it to our prize package. If this is acceptable you can email me or if you wish to retract my offer please email me.

PS> I could not help laugh when I read the auction, I thought it was funny. I even read it to my son and told him what I great idea it was and perhaps I ought to try something like that with him.

[msprince]

The thing that most impressed me about his father is that he went through with his threat, it was not empty and misleading. If you tell your kid "Hey this is your last chance if you don't bring up these grades I'm going to sell your marker!" You better do it! I commend you sir :clap: Now for all you kids who think that was bad. My 14 yr old daughter could not keep her grades or attitude in check and now she's home-schooled :rofl: Don't feel too sorry for her though, she is about to be on honor roll for the first time in a long time AND she finishes her work early everyday and has the rest of the day to hang out and do the things she loves...drawing and on the weekends PAINTBALL!