ProX9
10-21-2004, 02:15 AM
I am open to suggestions on this but since it is due tomorrow they probably wont have much effect, not that im worried about it, im just always looking for a second opinion. Mainly the first sentence of the conclusion, i need to restate in a more effective and less bland way.
The assignment: Take an abstract word and give it an extended, subjective definition by describing it. Don't state what the word is, but "define" it through the use of concrete detail.
Anyhow here it is:
--------------------------------->“I reach my state of euphoria”
--->My last teammate fell merely seconds ago, but not before he could eliminate his shooter. The only two markers left on the field aren’t pointing in the same direction. A chaotic silence ensues in which not a shot is fired and tension builds inside me. Adrenaline flows into my veins and permeates every last inch of me as I take my first glance at the field before me, scanning every bunker for my last opponent. Only the sound of shooting breaks the silence as paintballs fly through the air in my direction. I watch as they get closer and closer to me, making a hasty retreat before it is too late. My reflexes reach their peak as the adrenaline rush reaches its plateau and when I hear the sound of silence, I lean out to return the gesture. Plastered to my bunker, I shoot at the first sign of his mask. As soon I started shooting I knew that he was doomed and the satisfaction overwhelmed me as he felt the impact of the paintballs hitting him. For the first time, I can leave my bunker behind, running to the flag knowing that only I remained. Only as I take the last few steps before hanging the flag do I realize that what had seemed like ages took less than a minute to elapse and that I experienced a dilation of time. Once the game is over and I am coming down from my higher state of awareness I feel the pleasure of victory. I reach my state of euphoria coming down from the rush, when the memories are most vivid, and I have the best opportunity to think about what just happened. For a short time, all the bad things in my life are buried in the moment; unable to affect me.
--->I would venture that for most people, the way I define euphoria is similar in concept, but radically different in what I think it actually is. A feeling of great happiness can come from anything, finding twenty dollars could make some someone feel great. It does not require a specific action or chain of events; one doesn’t have to be coming down from an adrenaline fueled experience to be in a state of euphoria. Also, it doesn’t require all thoughts to be in that single moment alone, I only call it euphoria if I have the pleasure of forgetting all the bad things in my life. Once negativity returns to your mind, it is impossible to recover the moment in the same magnitude as before and that is the end of what I think euphoria truly is.
--->If There is one thing I crave above all else, it is to fall into a state of euphoria. I am hopelessly addicted to that feeling of enormous tension, and then releasing of it all at once. The thought of it captivates me; the need for it drives me. I live for that moment of intoxication, if it were to cease to exist, may I as well. “The hopeless addict must continue to engage in his desires, lest he be consumed.”
EDit: I changed the first sentence of the conclusion and Im now completely satisfied with it.
The assignment: Take an abstract word and give it an extended, subjective definition by describing it. Don't state what the word is, but "define" it through the use of concrete detail.
Anyhow here it is:
--------------------------------->“I reach my state of euphoria”
--->My last teammate fell merely seconds ago, but not before he could eliminate his shooter. The only two markers left on the field aren’t pointing in the same direction. A chaotic silence ensues in which not a shot is fired and tension builds inside me. Adrenaline flows into my veins and permeates every last inch of me as I take my first glance at the field before me, scanning every bunker for my last opponent. Only the sound of shooting breaks the silence as paintballs fly through the air in my direction. I watch as they get closer and closer to me, making a hasty retreat before it is too late. My reflexes reach their peak as the adrenaline rush reaches its plateau and when I hear the sound of silence, I lean out to return the gesture. Plastered to my bunker, I shoot at the first sign of his mask. As soon I started shooting I knew that he was doomed and the satisfaction overwhelmed me as he felt the impact of the paintballs hitting him. For the first time, I can leave my bunker behind, running to the flag knowing that only I remained. Only as I take the last few steps before hanging the flag do I realize that what had seemed like ages took less than a minute to elapse and that I experienced a dilation of time. Once the game is over and I am coming down from my higher state of awareness I feel the pleasure of victory. I reach my state of euphoria coming down from the rush, when the memories are most vivid, and I have the best opportunity to think about what just happened. For a short time, all the bad things in my life are buried in the moment; unable to affect me.
--->I would venture that for most people, the way I define euphoria is similar in concept, but radically different in what I think it actually is. A feeling of great happiness can come from anything, finding twenty dollars could make some someone feel great. It does not require a specific action or chain of events; one doesn’t have to be coming down from an adrenaline fueled experience to be in a state of euphoria. Also, it doesn’t require all thoughts to be in that single moment alone, I only call it euphoria if I have the pleasure of forgetting all the bad things in my life. Once negativity returns to your mind, it is impossible to recover the moment in the same magnitude as before and that is the end of what I think euphoria truly is.
--->If There is one thing I crave above all else, it is to fall into a state of euphoria. I am hopelessly addicted to that feeling of enormous tension, and then releasing of it all at once. The thought of it captivates me; the need for it drives me. I live for that moment of intoxication, if it were to cease to exist, may I as well. “The hopeless addict must continue to engage in his desires, lest he be consumed.”
EDit: I changed the first sentence of the conclusion and Im now completely satisfied with it.