Need AO's relationship help

[danheneise]

Ok , well i was in my room today as usual when my dad walked in and said he had talked to someone that i might know named Amanda. Right away I kinda knew who he was talking about and it was a girl from highschool that was in a few of my classes . He said that she remembered me and that she said that i was sweet :D .

Now for the problem. In ninth grade, yeah i know pretty young, but in ninth grade i had asked her out in probably the stupidest way ever by writing a letter which i think creeped her out more than anything and she turned me down which wasen't supprising. But now 5-6 years later i'd like to go see if i can find her whre she works (where my dad saw her) and would really like to ask her to somewhere simple like the movies but am afraid that this would be another bad move. So AO how should I handle this ? Should i just forget about it even though my dad thinks i should really go down and talk to her? Or should i Just walk in and basically just ask her out and hope for the best? Or should I go in and try to b.s. something to talk about and hopefully get a number or something?

I'm really bad at these kind of things as i'm not around girls much, only one at work and she's twice my age, and none in any of my classes. Also when i do talk to any girls i tend to get too nervous to say anything.

Cmon guys i need some help here :(

[gc82000]

Where does she work at? If it is a fancy store then I would stay out of it unless you can go in with a girl and have her leave you two alone to talk. but make sure you are easily seen as friends cuase then you could throw things off and seem like a jerk. No girl likes to see a guy hit on another girl when a "girlfriend" is around.
If it is a any thing else feel free to go in there yourself and try to get her to help you out. After you have made a purchase, thank her for helping you out. Then ask her out as a way off repaying her for such a good shopping experience.

Remeber WOMEN like a MAN who can act like a gentlemen
1. confidence but not cockiness
2. openness bot not braggart
3. funny but not insulting (unless it is self humiliating girls really seem to like a guy that does not seem vain)
4. be willing to take advice but dont ever let yourself be bossed around
5. and dont ever ever ever try to make her do anything she says no to twice. One no can be changed 2 no's is a strong indication that she means it.
6. AND remember the girl always goes first NO MATTER WHAT!
a. such as open her door
b.give her the chair she wants and pull it out for her
c. always bring a jacket or open sweater in case she ever gets cold even if you dont wear it just bring it, you will get bonus points when she asks why you bring it and say it is for her in case she gets cold
d. get a flower to be your trademark (mine is an orchid) give it to her everytime you are to meet at her house; at her car; or at her work. She will not appreciate a flower she will have to carry around for hours and it will be rude of her to throw it away.

[maglover728]

If you bump into here, at least you have the opener down. " Hey, I was wondering if you would like to (put activity here), I am sorry but I didn't have time to put it into a note this time. I hope you don't mind. What do you say?

Might bring a little common ground and even get a laugh.

[nippinout]

UNLEASH THE EGGROLL!!!

http://www.wintarget.com/products/images/eggroll.jpg

If anything is going to screw you up, is if you take it too dang serious.

Just relax and don't be a jagoff. As cliche as it is, be yourself.

Getting coffee or something like that isn't very scary or too forward. I like ice cream. It's simple, cheap, and doesn't last long. If you're going down in flames, you can bail out in under a half hour. If you're doing well, you can proceed to some sort of activity. I wouldn't recommend rounding the bases, but something like a movie, dinner, bowling, ice skating... But have that idea ready just in case.

Just relax dood! If it doesn't work out, there's more booty in the world to be had. If it does, yahoo!

[gc82000]

yeah that part about taking it to seriously is great advice.

[BobTheCow]

Getting coffee or something like that isn't very scary or too forward. I like ice cream. It's simple, cheap, and doesn't last long. If you're going down in flames, you can bail out in under a half hour. If you're doing well, you can proceed to some sort of activity. I wouldn't recommend rounding the bases, but something like a movie, dinner, bowling, ice skating... But have that idea ready just in case.STOP STEALING MY BRAIN JUICES!!!

(good advice)

[Linkwarner]

Try, you havent seen her in years, you have nothing to lose if she says no.

[MantisMag]

it shouldn't be too hard to find something to talk about. you haven't seen the girl in a while and you went to the same highschool. you should have some common memories to fall back on as conversation material. go in. talk to her for a little bit and then ask her if she wants to do something with you later. simple as that. see above for what you should ask her to do.

[magmanl337]

Go with what gc8200 said, but also remember. Ask her out like you don't care if she says no. Nothing drives a girl crazy more than the thought that you are interested in something else.

[Kevmaster]

Getting coffee or something like that isn't very scary or too forward. I like ice cream. It's simple, cheap, and doesn't last long. If you're going down in flames, you can bail out in under a half hour. If you're doing well, you can proceed to some sort of activity. I wouldn't recommend rounding the bases, but something like a movie, dinner, bowling, ice skating... But have that idea ready just in case.

best advise yet.

exactly. movies arn't a good start to a date. you sit there and DONT TALK. what the hell is it with us americans and our love affair with movies as date places. unless you're already on first, its a crappy place to go. (now, if you are on first, by all means...) Go grab a quick bite to eat and have previously looked at movie times. figure out a good one and go get ice cream an hour before. if its going well, you can say 'hey, theres XXXXXX showing in twenty minutes, you wanna go watch it?'. If not, quit it.

oh, and make sure you buy her ice cream or coffe or dinner or whatever. and don't go to a really nice place on this date, but don't go to mcdonalds

[danheneise]

thanks for the advise guys, for some reason I always forget that this isn't pbn and seem to expect flames when i ask something like this. YOU GUYS ROCK :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

i think i'll ask her to starbucks, I will make sure i take her to another starbucks other than the one that is in the place she works which is the pharmacy in the back of Vons.


what the hell is it with us americans and our love affair with movies as date places

i think it's that we see it so much in movies (guy and girl in movie theaters with his arm around her) and too many people try to copy what they see in movies.

[splatattack33]

some girls do like the guys that joke around and do stupid stuff too,liek me ;)

all the babes dig me :)

[RevBrown]

Movies,dinner are out.


Coffee, ice cream are the way to go something informal and light.
The prize you are working for now is a phone# to get the dinner and movie.
Just relax. Be yourself. Don't be nervous. Relax.
Be polite Be relaxed.



Remember girls smell fear so just relax. Also remember just be yourself a girl can get a free dinner and movie anytime she wants. So show her your a relaxed comfortable nice fun guy to have one with.

[B.A.M.]

Go for it the worst she can do is get a restraing order

[paintbattler]

Make sure she doesn't have a boyfriend.

[WicKeD_WaYz]

when i do something stupid like that with a girl i make fun of it myself before she can. It will give you something to talk about plus you would maybe make yourself seem so much more mature or whatever now.

kinda like

"hey remember back when we were freshman and I had a crush on you and I wrote you that stupid letter."

and then make fun of yourself for getting rejected....i dont know thats what I would do and i have pretty good luck in these areas.

But I would be straight up about it and go in and say hi to her, talk a minute, and then tell her the real reason you came in was to see if she would wanna go catch a movie or some food or something. Becuase she knows the reason youre there i mean cmon shes not that dumb your dad was already in there talkin to her about you. Dont go in like the next day though....give it a few days so you dont look desperate.

[SlartyBartFast]

Keep it simple.

Find out where she works.
Go there.
Say: "Hey, good to see you. My dad said he ran into you. Would you like to get together sometime?"

Perhaps suggest the consumption of whatever random meaningless foodstuff or liquid grabs your fancy. (Which movie is it the guy suggests going out to eat toffees of something. and after the puzzled reply, says that it makes as much sense as going out for coffee?)

If she wants to talk, she'll tell you when she ends her shift or suggest a time and place. If she doesn't, well nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[SlartyBartFast]

Dont go in like the next day though....give it a few days so you dont look desperate.

Desperation isn't a question of time. Just make the whole thing casual.

As long as he's not sweating, drooling, and staring at her, what does it matter if he went right after speaking to his father?

[SlartyBartFast]

Make sure she doesn't have a boyfriend.

He shouldn't care. If the motivation is simply physical, the girl will undoubtably turn him down, boyfriend or not.

And you'd have a better chance with a stranger on the street for that. She already knows he liked her in the past. Now he has to show whether his attraction was deeper than simply physical.

So, go into it as re-establishing or building a friendship. If it clicks, go further...

[WicKeD_WaYz]

Desperation isn't a question of time. Just make the whole thing casual.

As long as he's not sweating, drooling, and staring at her, what does it matter if he went right after speaking to his father?


well I would give it a couple days to make it seem like I wasnt just running in to see her first chance I got. You cant give a girl an advantage like that. Shes on your schedule. But thats just me. Ide go in a week later and no less.

[Echo419]

Yah well its all the same with your eyes closed :D

[danheneise]

well i went to where she works just now and she wasen't there :( as i was driving up there was a girl walking out but i couldn't tell if it was her. so i'll just have to keep going in probably just on my way home from work/school since that was about the time my dad saw her.

[WicKeD_WaYz]

well i went to where she works just now and she wasen't there :( as i was driving up there was a girl walking out but i couldn't tell if it was her. so i'll just have to keep going in probably just on my way home from work/school since that was about the time my dad saw her.


ive got a much better idea. when you find her, dont talk to her, just hang out across the street and watch her. then when she leaves, follow her home. Girls really like this kind of thing. You could even use pick up lines such as....

"hey baby, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

:ninja:


:)

[danheneise]

ive got a much better idea. when you find her, dont talk to her, just hang out across the street and watch her. then when she leaves, follow her home. Girls really like this kind of thing. You could even use pick up lines such as....

"hey baby, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

:ninja:


:)

:rolleyes:

[AGDlover]

ive got a much better idea. when you find her, dont talk to her, just hang out across the street and watch her. then when she leaves, follow her home. Girls really like this kind of thing. You could even use pick up lines such as....

"hey baby, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

:ninja:


:)


LMAO omg thats the best line ever :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :bounce:

[SlartyBartFast]

well I would give it a couple days to make it seem like I wasnt just running in to see her first chance I got. You cant give a girl an advantage like that. Shes on your schedule. But thats just me. Ide go in a week later and no less.

Your relationships will go much better if you don't view them as games.

Treat this situation just like it was a guy you used to know (albeit minus the mushy letter :D ).

How would YOU react if you ran into an old friends parent and then they didn't bother to contact you until a week later? You'd figure the guy couldn't care less, so why should you?

[WicKeD_WaYz]

Your relationships will go much better if you don't view them as games.


my relationships with girls go just fine i promise ;)