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grw4w34
03-03-2005, 03:41 AM
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Jeffy-CanCon
03-03-2005, 11:20 AM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl:

:rofl:

fire1811
03-03-2005, 11:44 AM
lol thats funny
I might try that........well maybe not I like living

oneworld
03-03-2005, 11:49 AM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl:

:rofl:
q.f.t

BigBadBeDDy
03-03-2005, 04:02 PM
dead man walking :ninja:

Soopa Villain17
03-03-2005, 06:04 PM
thats hilarious :rofl:

bam wannabe
03-03-2005, 07:39 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


u are my hero!

gc82000
03-03-2005, 08:13 PM
dead man walking :ninja:


That is what I was thinking. :rofl:

sabrefanpc
03-04-2005, 06:17 PM
damn. my 2 year old nephew will have sex befor you do again....

oh, and as I found out the hard way a tennis bracelet has nothing to do with tennis. it is just a bunch of channel set diamonds. (read as =$$$$$)

ICP
03-05-2005, 11:48 PM
That is hilarious :rofl: :rofl: I'm printing that one and taking it to work.






damn. my 2 year old nephew will have sex befor you do again....

oh, and as I found out the hard way a tennis bracelet has nothing to do with tennis. it is just a bunch of channel set diamonds. (read as =$$$$$)

SO TRUE!!!

BD_Paintball
03-06-2005, 12:14 AM
that was a very funny story. and i have a feeling that you will not get any for a long time

grw4w34
03-07-2005, 02:35 AM
haha, i wish i was clever enough to think of that, but im not. i found it somewhere and wanted to share it.

SpecialBlend2786
03-08-2005, 02:28 AM
classic :cheers: