ubooze
03-22-2005, 10:44 PM
Just wrote this while "working" on senior projects. Need some input on what can be added and modified to make it even better as most people in my newspaper club are clueless.
Here it goes >>>>>>.
Hubert Szacilowski tuning in again to lay down some thug love on yo faces. Daz right, another article just for the fine crowd at NRP. At what is this weeks topic of choice? Nothing less than my personal passion, paintball (yeah, you thought I was going to say something different, didn’t you, you pervert). Paintball is the greatest sport to ever develop in the history of the world. Being a young fledgling of barely over 20 years in existence, it has swept the nation with its fast paced adrenalin pumping games. And I ain’t talking about woods games or that foolish stuff, even though it can be fun from time to time, I’m talking the mean ballin, speedball. There is nothing better than the tournament quality, team based game of speedball. Drop the camies, lose your Spyder or Tippmann, and stop on the field where the real deal goes down. Play some hyperball or airball fields and there is no doubt you will be amazed. No longer is paintball the game of cowering behind trees, no it is a colorful and very athletically demanding game that has potential to make it to mainstream TV. With events throughout the country and many local fields, it really is the next step for the game.
And part of being a true baler is having the baller look is having the right apparel and gear. Nothing less than the best will suit, that is unless you wanna be agg. Cali has influenced the paintball scene immensely, and the new look is long sleeved black shirts with properly chosen camo accessories. Of course you should purchase brands like Dye, Empire, or new brands such as Blackstar (my personal favorite), Sire, or Abstrakt. Oh, and the more HK Army (Hostile Kidz) gear and stickers you tote, the better you automatically become. That is because HK Army is the premier young talent team in California, and has had many pro level players in its roster. Plus, they created the agg and muppet mowin craze that has been going around the country. And also, heavy modification of your gear is required. Old-school mask straps, and only JT Flex masks will cut it. Camo headbands or sandanas are the in thing too.
Now for your machine gat, remember, rasta is cool, pink is in, and the pricier it is the better. But, the ghettoer it looks, and the more stickers it has is also VERY important. Either one can completely fill the look. Though HK has picked up the ever so evil SP (Smart Parts) as its main sponsor, I recommend gatz such as Timmies, DMFizzles, Angels, and heavily upgraded Cockers. The more aftermarket parts the better! Your skills on the field are absolutely dependent on this. And drops are not acceptable. Next thing to do is use phrases such as killing faces, mowin muppets, and agg (this means cool) on a regular basis. Remember, all the good teams play like this. Play aggressively, and shoot a LOT.
For the rest of you woodsball playing n00bs, take up airsoft. Hopefully the Park Ridge police may unload an entire Glock clip in you when the catch you playing in the forest preserve. (P.S.- You didn’t read that in my article)
Pain is part of the game, so suck it up. Hahaha, suckers. For the rest of my audience that has read this far, you shall probably like to know all the data included in this article has absolutely no basis. And if kids run out to buy all the stuff I advised them to buy, they may find a 2000 dollar deficit in their parent’s pockets. But in all truth, you should go out and play some paintball. It’s proven to be a safe game (research shows it is one of the safest sports around, even safer than gold and tennis, no kidding) as long as it is played at a proper field. That is critical! Play at a good reputable field. And go with friends, otherwise you may not have much fun. It’s a great way to improve team-work and relive stress. And no matter what, it’s a blast to play. Thanks to my new job at the Original Pancake House in Park Ridge (next 50 families that come in from NRP get a free pitcher of water!!!!) I intend to get out onto the field more often and fund my hobby. Its not about looks, it’s about skills. The more you play, they more practice you have, and the better you become. Eventually you may find yourself competing in X-Ball, NPPL, or PSP events! But its all about fun and safety, and remember, play safe and kill some faces.
P.S.S.: I think Park Ridge cops now have MP5s in their cars, so you may die at from the rain of hot lead from a sub-machinegun rather than a small pistol.
<<<<<<
That's it. What do you'all think?
Good? Bad? Ugly?
Edit: Just noticed copy and pasting from Word does not give favorable viewing dimensions.
Here it goes >>>>>>.
Hubert Szacilowski tuning in again to lay down some thug love on yo faces. Daz right, another article just for the fine crowd at NRP. At what is this weeks topic of choice? Nothing less than my personal passion, paintball (yeah, you thought I was going to say something different, didn’t you, you pervert). Paintball is the greatest sport to ever develop in the history of the world. Being a young fledgling of barely over 20 years in existence, it has swept the nation with its fast paced adrenalin pumping games. And I ain’t talking about woods games or that foolish stuff, even though it can be fun from time to time, I’m talking the mean ballin, speedball. There is nothing better than the tournament quality, team based game of speedball. Drop the camies, lose your Spyder or Tippmann, and stop on the field where the real deal goes down. Play some hyperball or airball fields and there is no doubt you will be amazed. No longer is paintball the game of cowering behind trees, no it is a colorful and very athletically demanding game that has potential to make it to mainstream TV. With events throughout the country and many local fields, it really is the next step for the game.
And part of being a true baler is having the baller look is having the right apparel and gear. Nothing less than the best will suit, that is unless you wanna be agg. Cali has influenced the paintball scene immensely, and the new look is long sleeved black shirts with properly chosen camo accessories. Of course you should purchase brands like Dye, Empire, or new brands such as Blackstar (my personal favorite), Sire, or Abstrakt. Oh, and the more HK Army (Hostile Kidz) gear and stickers you tote, the better you automatically become. That is because HK Army is the premier young talent team in California, and has had many pro level players in its roster. Plus, they created the agg and muppet mowin craze that has been going around the country. And also, heavy modification of your gear is required. Old-school mask straps, and only JT Flex masks will cut it. Camo headbands or sandanas are the in thing too.
Now for your machine gat, remember, rasta is cool, pink is in, and the pricier it is the better. But, the ghettoer it looks, and the more stickers it has is also VERY important. Either one can completely fill the look. Though HK has picked up the ever so evil SP (Smart Parts) as its main sponsor, I recommend gatz such as Timmies, DMFizzles, Angels, and heavily upgraded Cockers. The more aftermarket parts the better! Your skills on the field are absolutely dependent on this. And drops are not acceptable. Next thing to do is use phrases such as killing faces, mowin muppets, and agg (this means cool) on a regular basis. Remember, all the good teams play like this. Play aggressively, and shoot a LOT.
For the rest of you woodsball playing n00bs, take up airsoft. Hopefully the Park Ridge police may unload an entire Glock clip in you when the catch you playing in the forest preserve. (P.S.- You didn’t read that in my article)
Pain is part of the game, so suck it up. Hahaha, suckers. For the rest of my audience that has read this far, you shall probably like to know all the data included in this article has absolutely no basis. And if kids run out to buy all the stuff I advised them to buy, they may find a 2000 dollar deficit in their parent’s pockets. But in all truth, you should go out and play some paintball. It’s proven to be a safe game (research shows it is one of the safest sports around, even safer than gold and tennis, no kidding) as long as it is played at a proper field. That is critical! Play at a good reputable field. And go with friends, otherwise you may not have much fun. It’s a great way to improve team-work and relive stress. And no matter what, it’s a blast to play. Thanks to my new job at the Original Pancake House in Park Ridge (next 50 families that come in from NRP get a free pitcher of water!!!!) I intend to get out onto the field more often and fund my hobby. Its not about looks, it’s about skills. The more you play, they more practice you have, and the better you become. Eventually you may find yourself competing in X-Ball, NPPL, or PSP events! But its all about fun and safety, and remember, play safe and kill some faces.
P.S.S.: I think Park Ridge cops now have MP5s in their cars, so you may die at from the rain of hot lead from a sub-machinegun rather than a small pistol.
<<<<<<
That's it. What do you'all think?
Good? Bad? Ugly?
Edit: Just noticed copy and pasting from Word does not give favorable viewing dimensions.