I lol'ed at this Email

[punkncat]

Don't read this unless you are in a very sarcastic mood or having a slow
day.



SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan for $75,000.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

Have a wonderful day....

Oh, by the way.....

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

[kruger]

you know, just from reading the way the the email was written, I get the feeling that the guy is a little skeptical of the facts that he has learned.................

[bentothejam1n]

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.


Actually i refuse to shop at Target because they didnt help out one bit with the kelsey smith (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelsey_smith) case besides providing the security tape

[teufelhunden]

Actually i refuse to shop at Target because they didnt help out one bit with the kelsey smith (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelsey_smith) case besides provide the security tape


What would you have them do? Send out their red vested cashiers to hunt for her?

[olinar]

most of it was ehh, but that last part with th emouse was funny because i had my hand on the mouse when reading and then i was gonna take it off but it was too late :(

[bentothejam1n]

What would you have them do? Send out their red vested cashiers to hunt for her?
hmm between me and two of my friends we spent $100 on blank t shirts to make find kelsey shirts. And i know a lot of other people who bought a ton of blank shirts. they didnt give anybody free shirts or even discounted stuff. How about some food for the searchers or maybe even some bottled water. How about have some of their workers come help with the search. How about donating some money. How about hosting some self defense classes for women. How about having some security cameras in the actual parking lot. i could go on and on but i hope you get the point

[bornl33t]

Actually i refuse to shop at Target because they didnt help out one bit with the kelsey smith (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelsey_smith) case besides providing the security tape

That and their return policy has got the be the worst one if seen from a corporation of their size. Oh and their security guards in civilian getup are gay and easy to pick out from the average patron ( something about leaving a walkie on the belt gives them away... )

[teufelhunden]

hmm between me and two of my friends we spent $100 on blank t shirts to make find kelsey shirts. And i know a lot of other people who bought a ton of blank shirts. they didnt give anybody free shirts or even discounted stuff. How about some food for the searchers or maybe even some bottled water. How about have some of their workers come help with the search. How about donating some money. How about hosting some self defense classes for women. How about having some security cameras in the actual parking lot. i could go on and on but i hope you get the point


Find Kelsey shirts? Those must've been as useful as the Save Darfur t-shirts my little brother came home with the other weekend. Seriously, by wearing that, it sends in military forces.

And Target didn't give away t-shirts for that little endeavor? :( I didn't see anything about a shortage of food or water for the searchers so that donation would have been misplaced. Having their workers go search would've been a liability for the company [don't expect you to understand why]. Apparently, they had security camera coverage of the parking lot, because from your wikipedia link:

"Additional surveillance video from Target appears to show someone forcing Kelsey into her car.[4] Additional video evidence from Target identified a suspicious 1970s era Chevrolet truck."

Or did you want Target to have launched a surveillance satellite for the very purpose of watching that single car leave the parking lot?

[bentothejam1n]

Find Kelsey shirts? Those must've been as useful as the Save Darfur t-shirts my little brother came home with the other weekend. Seriously, by wearing that, it sends in military forces.

Hmm well considering that was one of the suggestions the police gave us...... They could have provided paper for the fliers. They could have encouraged their employees to help. None of them were there. I was either in a parking or driving around for four days straight. There was no shortage because WE had to buy it. i never saw or heard about any target employees helping. . Target didnt do ANYTHING besides provide the tapes. Dont try to defend Target when you werent there :tard:

[Hexis]

From: http://sites.target.com/site/en/corporate/page.jsp?contentId=PRD03-001336

Target has a long-standing solicitation policy at our stores nationwide. In order to provide a distraction-free shopping environment for our guests, we do not allow solicitation or petitioning at our stores regardless of the cause being represented.

This policy does not diminish Target's support of communities. Since 1946, Target has given 5% of its income to communities. That adds up to over $3 million each and every week. Our company has many other means by which it can support organizations whose programs fall within our corporate giving guidelines. For more information on these guidelines, please pick up the Community Giving brochure in your store's Guest Service area or visit the Community Giving section on Target.com.

Yeah, what a cheap company. Only 3mil a week.


-edit- More details:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Target_Corporation#Philanthropy

[Thordic]

Target wasn't obligated to do jack squat. They aren't a public service agency. Someone got abducted, they handed over their security tapes, end of story.

If they had given stuff away for free, great. But the idea that they are somehow obligated to go above and beyond and hand out freebies is ridiculous.

It's a shame some chick got killed but your anger is obviously misplaced.

[iambored]

that's a funny email, espically the drugged-perfume (i could believe it, too. why else would you buy that stuff) and the target didn't have to do anything other than turn over the tapes, because you chose to drop $100 to make shirts doesn't mean the rest of the world is. sad that the girl got killed and other things; but stuff like that has happpened in other superstores parking lots and they've done alot less.

[bentothejam1n]

i never said anything about not donating to schools. Hell if they donate 3 mil a week why couldnt they have donated $200 to us??


edit: Maybe my anger is in the wrong place but if that would have happened at Hy Vee (a grocery store) i'm sure they wouldve helped a lot more that target did

[Thordic]

Good for HyVee. Who they hell are they? (Correct answer, who cares?)

If you wanted to raise money, hold a fundraiser. Work for it. Don't expect handouts.

[teufelhunden]

It sounds like you're just pissed that the money came out of your pockets and not some big evil corporations pockets.

It didn't say anywhere, but I bet Target Forensics [see your wiki link] also provided support to this case. I bet that support was far more useful than you combing a backyard and wearing a shirt.

And....




Would the outcome have been different if Target had made up shirts instead of you doing it?

[teufelhunden]

Oh...

are you sure you aren't just pissed because she was kinda cute and you wanted to get in her pants?

[Altimas]

Whoa Major Hijack... :eek:

[bentothejam1n]

It sounds like you're just pissed that the money came out of your pockets and not some big evil corporations pockets.
Yea i'm pissed cause i lost $40 not my friend getting raped and killed. its more of the principle of not donating anything. Maybe if target wouldve helped one more person wouldve have see her face on the shirt and saved her life. i dont know. But i do know that they didnt do nearly as much as they could've.

And thor i really don't understand your comment about Hy Vee. i'm saying maybe if it happened somewhere else the end results would be different

But obviously i'm not going to change your opinion and you arent going to change mine so we need to end this hijack.

[teufelhunden]

Yea i'm pissed cause i lost $40 not my friend getting raped and killed. its more of the principle of not donating anything. Maybe if target wouldve helped one more person wouldve have see her face on the shirt and saved her life. i dont know. But i do know that they didnt do nearly as much as they could've.

But obviously i'm not going to change your opinion and you arent going to change mine so we need to end this hijack.

I really don't think I'm going to change your opinion nor do I care. It's more that of the third party who, if they just saw your post, may very well think Target killed this chick.

Your post makes you sound like a left wing hardcore nutjob. "They have and didn't give so they're terrible" is the jist of it....


Btw if you took that $40 and put it in an ING account paying 5%/yr in 10 years you'd have $65.88 [ING compounds monthly, hence 40*(1.004167)^120]. You should feel dumb now.

[Empyreal Rogue]

And thor i really don't understand your comment about Hy Vee. i'm saying maybe if it happened somewhere else the end results would be different


She was abducted and murdered in the same night. Nothing anyone could have done at that time (Whether it be Target or this local grocer of yours) would have saved her life, only found her body before it got to Missouri.

[Hexis]

Don't let reality get in the way of a good rant. It just deflates the over-inflated sense of injustice over a full price ream of paper. All Target had to do was donate a ream of paper, think of the children! If the poor woman would have been abducted at Hivees perhaps the severe allergic reaction the would be murderer had (isn't that what causes hives?) could have saved her life.

[going_home]

Is this the "I hate targets" thread ? :confused:


http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b195/going_home/Target.png


:argh:

[bentothejam1n]

Don't let reality get in the way of a good rant. It just deflates the over-inflated sense of injustice over a full price ream of paper. All Target had to do was donate a ream of paper, think of the children! If the poor woman would have been abducted at Hivees perhaps the severe allergic reaction the would be murderer had (isn't that what causes hives?) could have saved her life.
or maybe hy vee wouldve actually helped try to find her. Target's parking lot is huge. Hy vee's isnt. There is a traffic light at 87th and plfumn (location of Hy Vee) so their wouldve been witnesses or maybe somebody to stop him. Hy Vee is in a strip, Target isnt.



bottom line for my arguement. If Target doesnt want to support the search of a missing teenage girl, then me and about 100 other people wont shop there anymore. simple as that. You guys werent there. you dont know what it was like

[Empyreal Rogue]

bottom line for my arguement. If Target doesnt want to support the search of a missing teenage girl, then me and about 100 other people wont shop there anymore. simple as that. You guys werent there. you dont know what it was like

Sorry to burst your bubble...

Do you remember hearing about Taylor Behl? She went to VCU (The college I attend), and she was abducted on campus. Did my school dispatch its huge police force to perform a search and rescue? Did they pour tons of funds into finding her? No, they did not. Why? Because the money and police force had to be spent keeping the other 28 thousand students at VCU safe.

There was a ceremony dedicated to her life and her family, but all the work was done by the FBI and the student body (Myself) of VCU.

http://www.vcuinsight.vcu.edu/stories/fall05/2_Missing%20Girl/BehlFound.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor_Behl

While we can't rectify the past, we can learn from it. Maybe for your sake you can hope Target will be taking better measures to protect its parking lots.

[bentothejam1n]

Sorry to burst your bubble...

Do you remember hearing about Taylor Behl? She went to VCU (The college I attend), and she was abducted on campus. Did my school dispatch its huge police force to perform a search and rescue? Did they pour tons of funds into finding her? No, they did not. Why? Because the money and police force had to be spent keeping the other 28 thousand students at VCU safe.

There was a ceremony dedicated to her life and her family, but all the work was done by the FBI and the student body (Myself) of VCU.

http://www.vcuinsight.vcu.edu/stories/fall05/2_Missing%20Girl/BehlFound.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor_Behl

While we can't rectify the past, we can learn from it. Maybe for your sake you can hope Target will be taking better measures to protect its parking lots.
Maybe you guys are all right. After hearing that her body was found, i started thinking "what if" and target the place for me and others to put some of the blame on

[Hexis]

I know! Armed guards at all Target locations.

Even better, armed Target guards at all intersections. That way they can protect us from everything.






Get real. Target as a corporation does a lot more than similar corporations. They take reasonable measures. Those reasonable measures can not protect everyone from everything. While it's quite tragic that the woman was abducted and murdered, how about you place that blame on the sociopath that committed the crime.

[bentothejam1n]

I know! Armed guards at all Target locations.

Even better, armed Target guards at all intersections. That way they can protect us from everything.






Get real. Target as a corporation does a lot more than similar corporations. They take reasonable measures. Those reasonable measures can not protect everyone from everything. While it's quite tragic that the woman was abducted and murdered, how about you place that blame on the sociopath that committed the crime.
i never asked for guards. All i said was a donation would be nice.

[teufelhunden]

i never asked for guards. All i said was a donation would be nice.


You're making it sound a lot more like an obligation than a donation.

Can't wait for people to start lobbying congress re: Kelsey's Law forcing companies to 'donate' X, Y, and Z to missing persons searches,

[bentothejam1n]

You're making it sound a lot more like an obligation than a donation.

Can't wait for people to start lobbying congress re: Kelsey's Law forcing companies to 'donate' X, Y, and Z to missing persons searches,
i just dont think Target has very good values.

When they say they donate 3 mil a week, thats when you use your target credit card. They donate like 3 cents every dollar and they compensate that in intersest. And the person thats using the credit card decides if they want to donate or not and what school the money goes to

[Hexis]

Maybe for your sake you can hope Target will be taking better measures to protect its parking lots.

then...



i started thinking "what if" and target the place for me and others to put some of the blame on


It's not Target's responsibility to protect you from everything, even while in their parking lot. It's not their fault that there are sociopaths out there that can and will do harm to other people. It is their fault is a product is mis-priced and they charge you too much for it.


(Target) gives over $3 million a week (up from $2 million in years prior) to the communities in which it operates. It also gives a percentage of charges from its Target Visa to schools designated by the cardholders.

I bolded the important bit. The word "also" means in addition to. They give 5% of their pre tax profits to the communities that they do business in.

Get over it, Target is just not evil. They have their programs in place, and they take applications for new destinations for their charity. Due to their charity they are pretty much forced to decline non formal requests (otherwise everyone would be asking for free paper or T-Shirts).

Go be pissed at crazy people who harm others. Not a large corporation that gives back to the communities that support it.

[bentothejam1n]

It's not Target's responsibility to protect you from everything, even while in their parking lot. It's not their fault that there are sociopaths out there that can and will do harm to other people. It is their fault is a product is mis-priced and they charge you too much for it.

You are taking it from the wrong angle. i know that they probably couldnt have prevented it, but they could have helped. Maybe if they got one more person informed that person could have broken the case wide open.
you also forgot to mention that that part of wiki that you quote didnt have a citation.. hmm i wouldnt trust that Target didnt add its credit card funds into the 3 mil

[teufelhunden]

You are taking it from the wrong angle. i know that they probably couldnt have prevented it, but they could have helped. Maybe if they got one more person informed that person could have broken the case wide open.
you also forgot to mention that that part of wiki that you quote didnt have a citation.. hmm i wouldnt trust that Target didnt add its credit card funds into the 3 mil

www.google.com

or walk into one of their stores and read their signs


regardless, maybe if target had blanketed the area with leaflets it would've helped. or maybe if they cut down all the trees and leveled all the structures. or, if target activated their government endorsed tracking chips.


to steal from ricker: moran.

[Hexis]

You are taking it from the wrong angle. i know that they probably couldnt have prevented it, but they could have helped.

I'm looking at it wrong? You are the one blaming a retailer for a murder. They probably couldn't have prevented it? Get real.

[bentothejam1n]

I'm looking at it wrong? You are the one blaming a retailer for a murder. They probably couldn't have prevented it? Get real.
jesus h christ dont take everything i say literally. They couldnt have prevented the initial kidnapping from happening but they MIGHT HAVE been able to change to end result. If they dont feel they have to obligation to help find an 18 year old girl, then i dont want to give them my money whether it goes to a school or not

[bentothejam1n]

regardless, maybe if target had blanketed the area with leaflets it would've helped. or maybe if they cut down all the trees and leveled all the structures. or, if target activated their government endorsed tracking chips.


to steal from ricker: moran.
or maybe if they wouldve helped in the search


to steal from ricker: moran

[teufelhunden]

or maybe if they wouldve helped in the search


to steal from ricker: moran


they. already. provided. substantially. more. help. than. you. little. kids. with. your. t-shirts. and fliers.


remember the security camera footage? that helped. did you kids find any useful information or a body?

[bentothejam1n]

they. already. provided. substantially. more. help. than. you. little. kids. with. your. t-shirts. and fliers.


remember the security camera footage? that helped. did you kids find any useful information or a body?
they are required to do that.
What was i supposed to do?? Sit at home and watch CNN and wait till something happens?? And yes we did get leads that eventually led to the finding of her body.
Hmm sounds like Target Forensics didnt do anything with the tapes

Police are continuing to review video tapes from the area where Smith was last seen. One view by the surveillance camera in the parking lot seems to suggest a second person in the vicinity of her car. That tape is being enhanced by the police department.
You dont know what its like when you are looking for your friend and a place that could help you out a lot doesnt do anything.

[silentdeath55]

I do a ton a charity work and to go along with that comes fund raising. I have gone to every local and national corporation in the area. Most of them can't help due to policy or other reasons whatever they may be; yet, that doesn't mean I no longer shop there simply because they didn't give a few dollars to me for doing nothing. Maybe the causes of my work are not as important as what you were doing, maybe they are. That doesn't matter. Like was said many times, if target or any other corporation gave you product or funds, then they would be obligated to give everyone who asks something. That is the reason for their already in place donation program. Regardless, large corporations almost always have to process donations with the main headquarters wherever they may be.

I feel sorry for your loss and the horrible thing that happened to your community, but boycotting Target isn't going to help anyone. Like you said yourself, you're just trying to pin some blame wherever you can. Does it make you feel better? Didn't think so. My suggestion to you is to forget about what Target could/should/would have done and focus on living your life as best you can because your friend no longer can. I hope that helps...



"I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army."






My hand is still on my mouse

[bentothejam1n]

I do a ton a charity work and to go along with that comes fund raising. I have gone to every local and national corporation in the area. Most of them can't help due to policy or other reasons whatever they may be; yet, that doesn't mean I no longer shop there simply because they didn't give a few dollars to me for doing nothing. Maybe the causes of my work are not as important as what you were doing, maybe they are. That doesn't matter. Like was said many times, if target or any other corporation gave you product or funds, then they would be obligated to give everyone who asks something. That is the reason for their already in place donation program. Regardless, large corporations almost always have to process donations with the main headquarters wherever they may be.

I feel sorry for your loss and the horrible thing that happened to your community, but boycotting Target isn't going to help anyone. Like you said yourself, you're just trying to pin some blame wherever you can. Does it make you feel better? Didn't think so. My suggestion to you is to forget about what Target could/should/would have done and focus on living your life as best you can because your friend no longer can. I hope that helps...



"I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army."






My hand is still on my mouse
i'm done with this thread. Maybe youre right, maybe youre not. Maybe in a year i'll have a different opinion but thank you for saying that.

[onedude36]

My hand was on the mouse. I think im extra retarded because when i read stuff i click constantly. I highlight it, then un-highlight, then rehighlight, etc. :tard: just did it again... :tard:

[tribalman]

My hand was on the mouse. I think im extra retarded because when i read stuff i click constantly. I highlight it, then un-highlight, then rehighlight, etc. :tard: just did it again... :tard:

haha, at least i'm not the only one. i have problems reading black text on a white background, so highlighting helps.