Funny Stuff

[-Jôker-]

im bored so i guess im gonna try to sart a joke thread ;)

[Cliffio]

grasshopper walks into a bar, bartender says, "HEY i have a drink named after you." Grasshopper says, "You have a drink names Steve??"

[ThePatriot]

That guy, Fred(made up) is SOOOOOOOO ugly....when he has sex he has to pretend HES someone else

[zvanut]

why did the chicken cross the road?............................................. ........................................

to get to majordamage's house and shoot that sweeeet E-Mag :)

[klb311]

How did Hellen Keller break her hand??

She tried to read a speed limit sign going 50mph:)

[Army]

A well kept man strolled up to the White House.

The full dress uniformed US Marine guard stopped him and asked his business.

The man replied,"I want to see President Clinton, now!"

The Marine, a little puzzled, said "Sir, Bill Clinton is no longer the President, George Bush is."

The man said softly "Ohh, Okay."

The very next day, the same man walks up to the same Marine and asks, "I want to see President Clinton, immediatly!"

The Marine again explains, "Sir Bill Clinton is NOT the President anymore."

The man again says "Ohhh I see, Okay."

On the third day, that man again walks up to the White House, and again the same Marine is on duty,"Young man, I insist on seeing President Clinton!"

The annoyed Marine now sternly and loudly yells, "Sir, William Jefferson Clinton Is NOT the President, George W. Bush won the election! Don't you understand that, Sir?"

The man smiled and said, "Yes, I do. I just like hearing it."

The Marine returned the smile, snapped a salute, and said; "See you again tomorrow then, Sir?"
:cool:

[zvanut]

hehehe i get it..... the well dressed man is well... i wont tell and spoil it :)

[ThePatriot]

i think i get it...but if it is who i think it is, clinton didnt lose the election...he just couldnt run again, i probably have the wrong person

[wicked_mag]

The captain of a U.S. Naval fleet is standing on the bridge of his ship crusing through the waters at night and its foggy out. The scanner reads something ahead, he tries radioing the unknown and gets a reply to "change course imeddiately your coming right for us". The captain being big and bold replies "this is the U.S. navy you must change course immediately, no exeptions!" He hears in returun from the unkown "sir you must change course within the next half mile it is urgent!" The captain returns " son you are dealing with the U.S. navy, the most powerful and respected navy on the seas, we will not hesitate to blow you to kingdom-come." The captain heres again in reply "sir, its important you change course now, don't u even know who your talking to???? Your talking to a light house our light just blew out!" The captain replies "UH OH!"

[xmetal2001]

LOL army,

I get it, i'm so proud of myself.

I have a joke too,

An old lady try's to prove that she can see good. The next day she sticks a needle in to a tree in the wood's, later that day she takes here friend to the woods and she says "Hey is'nt that a needle in that tree" and she run's towards the needle and suddenly she bumps in to a cow.


I dont get my own joke:confused:

[FooTemps]

Johnny gets up in the middle of the night to get a drink. His little brother Billy hears him and follow him out. When they're walking to the kitchen they hear sounds from....

*edit*= Although this one did not have any cuss words, it was just borderline enough to be considered dirty. Please, let's keep them clean enough to tell at the dinner table!