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View Full Version : Sort of a dilemma.....would this be tacky?



punkncat
06-25-2008, 05:09 PM
I don't really know how to put this. It seems pretty unbecoming of me to even mention. I am not particularly good at asking for help and it is kind of embarrasing to even talk about. Please read on and hopefully you can understand where I am coming from.

A few friends that I have that own fields had offered right after my accident to do a "charity" game of sorts to help raise funds for me. Due to personal issues between two of them and indecision on a format and actual implementation of the thing it just got put on the back burner and forgotten about. One of the friends mother is pretty close to me and knows my situation. She made mention of the fact that she knows the promised event has not happened and that it could help me out a lot. I have been of the thought that if it didn't materialize it just wasn't meant to be , and thought how uncouth of me it would be to ask. I mean usually it is a friend or something like that who is in the know and thinks enough to make things happen. To be honest, as far back as this occured the "right" time for it has probably passed anyway.

The only reason I even ask for advice on the situation at all is this. I cannot drive until the middle of August, do not have a ride, and am too far to walk the little distance I am even able to get some kind of job like the corner store. With a pending disability case in which I am trying to make in order to have money coming in while I work to re-educate myself towards another line of gainful employ, I cannot go back to work anyway as it will jeopardize the whole thing. To be honest, given the time frame that they work on, I will be forced to do something before then. I am sure that is by design. The labor board is apparently unwilling to do anything for me as far as unemployment due to the nature of my accident.

We are pretty much in a world of (crap) right now due to some things hitting all at once and causing our nest egg to run out. Without happening what did, that was completely unforeseen and outside our control, we had everything planned down to the end of August and were going to be fine. Admittedly, some of the cash that we got was spent on items that we probably should not have purchased, but would not have had the opportunity to do unless we just did it, and have been of immense pleasure to me and the family in this down time at home.

I have and am in process already of selling everything of worthwhile value that I have left. My Harley made some bills and my Mag will soon be on the chopping block along with a good amount of the rest of my remaining equipment. I have to make it through till at least mid to late August, and even selling off what little gear I have left isn't going to make a dent in the bills. We have already cut back on (most) everything possible as far as "extras" are concerned. Our internet and phone bill are tied together in a bundle that makes it actually cheaper just to keep it this way, and my cable tv is through a friend for an unbelievably low price that I will loose if I make any changes to it. We have no car payment, and no other extras.


So now that I have aired more of my extremely personal and embarassing life details with you, whom many of which I feel like are extended family anyway....
What would you do in my situation?
Would you mention the benefit, even at the cost of looking like an ***?
What other solutions might I be overlooking being so tied up in it all?

I want to be clear, I am NOT asking trying to solicit AO for a handout. I really don't even want to ask about the charity. I suppose it is foolish pride. I just really don't have a clue as to what to do. Asking on a forum is probably just this side of the stupidest thing I could do, but as I said before a lot of you know me, know what I have been through, and I don't feel like you would steer me wrong.

MANN
06-25-2008, 05:26 PM
I personally wouldn't. I know you are in a lose lose situation. You need help, but if you ask for it people will take it the wrong way. You dont want to gamble a friendship on it. I am not even sure what to suggest for a solution. I know in TN we have EURTHA or something like that. It is a service that will pick up disabled people and take them to work. I would think that calling a cab to go to work would be more expensive than the benefit of a job. Maybe be a telemarketer? It would suck, but it pays the bills.

On second thought my Aunt-in-law works from home for staples. Apparently they pay rather well. I am not sure what education you have/they require, but I would be highly surprised if she had any. I am not sure how much money she makes, but she seems to be doing average.

... just a few suggestions. Best of luck. :cheers:

questionful
06-25-2008, 05:30 PM
Whether or not you should ask them about the benefit, I don't know. But don't feel bad about asking here on AO, you gotta do what you gotta do and life can really dish it out sometimes. From what you've told us, it sounds like that may be your only option. Maybe you could ask your field-owner friend if he would raffle out your paintball gear at his field, with the proceeds going to you, and maybe he would offer to do the benefit while you're on the topic? Whatever you decide to do, good luck.

kruger
06-25-2008, 06:31 PM
My thoughts on this:

If you need help, then ask for it. Pride is good and is even commendable, but, you gotta take care of the family. The friends offered to do a charity thing for you to raise the money. Pride sorta kept you from letting them do it, and at the time, you had other options available to you. Well, now that the funds that you had saved are gone, you really do need the help. Its not that you are a creep looking for a hand out, but you are using one of the resources that is available to you. If they really are friends, then they will understand your situation. If I am not mistaken, you did not miraculously grow you leg back, did you? You are still in less than optimal condition, and you are caught in a legal catch 22. Sounds to me like its time to take up your friends offer now. It was a nice gesture on their part, when you were first hurt. Now, you need to see if it was a genuine offer, or just a nice gesture. Also, if the idea of charity bothers you, then, after the "event" volunteer to do what you can at the field. Just show up and help out. They will appreciate it and it wont seem so much as a handout to you.

Pride, nice to have, but sometimes, it does get in the way.

Madmarx
06-25-2008, 07:30 PM
My thoughts on this:

If you need help, then ask for it. Pride is good and is even commendable, but, you gotta take care of the family. The friends offered to do a charity thing for you to raise the money. Pride sorta kept you from letting them do it, and at the time, you had other options available to you. Well, now that the funds that you had saved are gone, you really do need the help. Its not that you are a creep looking for a hand out, but you are using one of the resources that is available to you. If they really are friends, then they will understand your situation. If I am not mistaken, you did not miraculously grow you leg back, did you? You are still in less than optimal condition, and you are caught in a legal catch 22. Sounds to me like its time to take up your friends offer now. It was a nice gesture on their part, when you were first hurt. Now, you need to see if it was a genuine offer, or just a nice gesture. Also, if the idea of charity bothers you, then, after the "event" volunteer to do what you can at the field. Just show up and help out. They will appreciate it and it wont seem so much as a handout to you.

Pride, nice to have, but sometimes, it does get in the way.


Well said Kruger and I agree.

billybob_81067
06-26-2008, 01:20 PM
Maybe you could ask your field-owner friend if he would raffle out your paintball gear at his field, with the proceeds going to you, and maybe he would offer to do the benefit while you're on the topic?

That is a very good idea... you'd be getting rid of your paintball gear anyway... the raffle might bring in more bucks. Plus if you tell them the reason you'd like to raffle it off they would surely remember the promise that they made to you and, like questionful said, go ahead and do the benefit anyways...

Good thinkin' man!

Sumthinwicked
06-26-2008, 01:26 PM
http://automags.org/forums/showthread.php?t=232231 anyone who wants to help him i did this not to his knowledge just trying to help ~! gl it might help :p