FatMan
02-17-2002, 04:17 PM
When I was a kid there was this game called "dodgeball" where someone
stood against a wall and other people threw rubber balls and tried to
hit him. A variant of this game was called "slaughterball" where there
were two teams and many rubber balls they threw at each other trying
to eliminate players by hitting them. A variant of THIS game was "smear
the (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip)." Now I know the word (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip) isn't politically correct, (editors note...it is now! - cphilip)
but that IS what they called it, and I don't think any of us knew what
(edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip) meant anyway. So, sorry if it offends you.
Anyway, a couple years back I was playing with a new crowd for the first
time and it was the end of the day, and someone said "let's do one more."
and then someone else said "smear the (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip) ?" So, I excused myself to
observe, and sure enough, what these guys were playing was a paintball
version of "smear the (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip)." Now, the rule in this game was that no
player had to leave the game until he wanted to, no matter how many
times he was hit with the rubber ball. The paintball version was basicly
the same - when you get tired of being shot, you leave the field.
Now a couple weeks back our club was hosting another club, and they had
to head home and it was the end of the day and these guys on the other
team started saying "I have like 900 rounds left, I don't want to take
all that back with me" and "yeah, me too, no point wasting paint, might
as well shoot it." So I, of course, immediately offered to take care of
it FOR them, but no, they decided the thing to do was have 25 or so
players head out in woods and play SMEAR THE (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip)!
Of course, I planted my rear end right there in the staging area. But
about that time someone called out "who's gonna ref?" so PHIL jumps
up and says "I'm comming!"
A short while later an amazing cacophony erupted in the woods. This game
does NOT sound like a regular paintball game. There is more trash talk
going down than I've heard at a tourney, and the fire is non-stop. So,
I'm sitting there thinking I'm glad the safety officer isn't around,
'cause I don't know if this is "safe" paintball. About that time
the safety officer comes running off the field, runs to a box of paint,
reloads his marker and tubes and then heads back out into the woods,
meanwhile the fire-fight hasn't let up.
About that time Phil comes walking off and he tells me this: "I saw
this one guy with like 15 hits. On his mask, on his gun, on his arms,
on his chest, and I say, 'you're out,' but he just laughs at me and
runs right on by. There were these other guys and I'm seeing
the paint breaking all over them and I run over there and I'm calling
'you're out! you're out' and they look at me like I'm crazy and just
keep on shooting. Then Rob (team captain) tells me 'you're not out
unless you want to be.' IF THERE AIN'T NO RULES, WHY DID THEY ASK
FOR A REF?"
If course, I stopped trying to understand the actions of 20 year old
kids hopped up on adrenelin and testosterone and playing paintball
a long time ago. All I could do was laugh!
As a fine note, I don'e condone the playing of "smear the (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip) not
only because the name is rude, but somehow it doesn't seem safe, and
it is certainly a waste of paint.
Play safe and have fun,
FatMan
(oh brother....cphilip ;) )
stood against a wall and other people threw rubber balls and tried to
hit him. A variant of this game was called "slaughterball" where there
were two teams and many rubber balls they threw at each other trying
to eliminate players by hitting them. A variant of THIS game was "smear
the (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip)." Now I know the word (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip) isn't politically correct, (editors note...it is now! - cphilip)
but that IS what they called it, and I don't think any of us knew what
(edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip) meant anyway. So, sorry if it offends you.
Anyway, a couple years back I was playing with a new crowd for the first
time and it was the end of the day, and someone said "let's do one more."
and then someone else said "smear the (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip) ?" So, I excused myself to
observe, and sure enough, what these guys were playing was a paintball
version of "smear the (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip)." Now, the rule in this game was that no
player had to leave the game until he wanted to, no matter how many
times he was hit with the rubber ball. The paintball version was basicly
the same - when you get tired of being shot, you leave the field.
Now a couple weeks back our club was hosting another club, and they had
to head home and it was the end of the day and these guys on the other
team started saying "I have like 900 rounds left, I don't want to take
all that back with me" and "yeah, me too, no point wasting paint, might
as well shoot it." So I, of course, immediately offered to take care of
it FOR them, but no, they decided the thing to do was have 25 or so
players head out in woods and play SMEAR THE (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip)!
Of course, I planted my rear end right there in the staging area. But
about that time someone called out "who's gonna ref?" so PHIL jumps
up and says "I'm comming!"
A short while later an amazing cacophony erupted in the woods. This game
does NOT sound like a regular paintball game. There is more trash talk
going down than I've heard at a tourney, and the fire is non-stop. So,
I'm sitting there thinking I'm glad the safety officer isn't around,
'cause I don't know if this is "safe" paintball. About that time
the safety officer comes running off the field, runs to a box of paint,
reloads his marker and tubes and then heads back out into the woods,
meanwhile the fire-fight hasn't let up.
About that time Phil comes walking off and he tells me this: "I saw
this one guy with like 15 hits. On his mask, on his gun, on his arms,
on his chest, and I say, 'you're out,' but he just laughs at me and
runs right on by. There were these other guys and I'm seeing
the paint breaking all over them and I run over there and I'm calling
'you're out! you're out' and they look at me like I'm crazy and just
keep on shooting. Then Rob (team captain) tells me 'you're not out
unless you want to be.' IF THERE AIN'T NO RULES, WHY DID THEY ASK
FOR A REF?"
If course, I stopped trying to understand the actions of 20 year old
kids hopped up on adrenelin and testosterone and playing paintball
a long time ago. All I could do was laugh!
As a fine note, I don'e condone the playing of "smear the (edited to "alternate sexual lifestyle person" - cphilip) not
only because the name is rude, but somehow it doesn't seem safe, and
it is certainly a waste of paint.
Play safe and have fun,
FatMan
(oh brother....cphilip ;) )