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View Full Version : Tom Kaye's Worst Paintball Game



AGD
02-23-2002, 11:07 PM
AO member Talls asked in another thread what was my worst day playing paintball? His thread was about turning around a 3 on 1 only to find a hit on his pack. The worst day comes instantly to mind so I will share it here.

In the late 80's there were no semi autos, only pumps. A fast gun was 4-5 shots per second. The Tippman Full Auto was around but it only held 15 shots and they went quick.

Semi's were a huge dream and I had just developed one of the first gravity feed semi's we called the Panther. Instead of a stick tube that held 15 balls, I had a cut up Penzoil oil bottle as a hopper. The gun had all kinds of problems with co2 but when it shot it was crazy fast for the time.

We were playing in a 100 acre field that had two forts about 1/4 mile apart. As we walked into the field from the staging area our fort was the close one and the other was off in the distance. The battle ensued and in no time at all I was out of paint. In those days it was ok to leave the field, get more paint and air and come back on. These games could last over an hour.

After filling up I came back onto the field and headed to our fort. To my surprise I heard a huge battle going on right outside our fort!! I slowly crawled up the embankment and peered over. I saw a line of at least 12 of the enemy attacking our fort from close range. They were all in a straight line behind a 4 ft berm surrounding the fort.

My heart pounded as I knew instantly what I had to do! I would make a Kamikaze run on the entire enemy line. No stopping, No slowing down, my superior semi auto fire power with a whole hopper of paint would make me God like in my ability to put out a cloud of paintballs. I could single handedly turn around the whole game and be a hero.

As I launched over the embankment my heart was pounding so bad time slowed and everything went slow motion. It seemed like forever as I raced across the 50 ft between me and the start of the enemy line. I was right in the open and I knew if someone saw me coming at them my dream of glory would get snuffed out in a hail of fire. Just a little further, a little further, I reasoned that I could NOT MISS a single enemy as I raced behind them otherwise I would get shot in the back. Each shot had to be point blank and I had to get to that first player before he knew what happened.

The first guy was lying on his belly with the gun extended out in front of him. As I got within 10 ft he saw me but only rolled on his side and did not move his gun. In that slow motion effect you always remember, I saw the barrel of my gun come up and point at him . With a one handed shot I watched as the ball broke on his chest. I was at a dead run and knew my glory was assured. I went blazing down the line only a few feet behind each of my victims and shot each one in turn. Every time I landed another shot I felt a rush of confidence and knew I couldn't loose.

As I got half way down the line the gunfire from the fort stopped and they started cheering. I continued my relentless pounding of the helpless fools who never looked for the Angel of Death from behind. Bang, bang, bang, one shot for each no waiting.

As I hammered my way to the end of the line disaster struck, that disaster was for me the most remembered moment in my entire paintball life. Something that had never happened before and will likely never happen again. There are few things that can take you to the highest highs and then in another second just break you in half but it happened to me. As I lined up my barrel on the last player in the line he saw me and yelled the words that stopped me dead in my tracks, "Tom it's us, your own team!!"

Dazed and confused I was speechless. I crumbled to the ground and tried to figure out what happened as the cheers continued from the fort. In the aftermath I learned that my team was winning and was returning to the fort with the enemy flag only to find them in the fort pulling ours. A battle broke out and we were feet from victory when I looked over the embankment. I pulled off my dazzling run perfectly only to help the opposing team who cheered me on from the fort!

Needles to say the game ended right there in a jumble of laughter and comments, all at my expense. I was tortured non stop as we all walked back to the staging area and I didn't know if I could ever play paintball again. I sat out the next few games picking up the pieces of my shattered ego.

The one thing I knew for sure from the whole experience was that Semi Auto was the way to go if you wanted to shoot people!!

The life and times of,

AGD

nutz
02-23-2002, 11:13 PM
o my tom!!!!!!! that is so embarrasing/funny! lol :p :p :p :p :p

zvanut
02-23-2002, 11:16 PM
Tom,

that must have really sucked.

me and my friends for a 3rd team when we play rec ball :)

pito189
02-23-2002, 11:17 PM
Excellent Story Mr. Kaye. Excellent story.

Prezents
02-23-2002, 11:40 PM
With all due respect,,,, it must have sucked to be you.:cool:

Xzion
02-23-2002, 11:50 PM
At least every game after that, he probably double checked just who it was he was going to conquer with his Semi-auto lol :D

ArthurDent
02-23-2002, 11:54 PM
ohhh tom how could you......heheh well at least it was a good learning experience....last week i got a guy on my team 3 times in the genitals....he ran about 30 feet up the hyperball field and didn’t tell anyone no and no one saw him do it....well i saw a lower half of a body sticking out...splat splat splat....see him get up look around see me and start yelling....i mean who would have thought that a 200 pound 5'10' fat back player could get up to there 30 when the rest of his team was still at our 40

SlipknotX556
02-24-2002, 12:06 AM
o thats so funny tom. but i have had worse.

zads27
02-24-2002, 02:05 AM
LOL Tom! you were a hero, of sorts at least!
that was the most hillarious paintball story I've heard yet.

Miscue
02-24-2002, 05:04 AM
TK = Team Killer :p

TigerMan
02-24-2002, 07:13 AM
Hehe, great story. Well at least you got some compliments from the other team, lol. :D

talls
02-24-2002, 08:54 AM
Now Tom that makes me feel so much better;) Yeah I have shot a teammate before but not my whole team lol. I wish I was there just to hear what the guys were saying. But don't worry about it to much it was a honest mistake and if you think about it could happen to anybody, but I have never heard of it till now:D Man that was great.

Rock Star
02-24-2002, 09:12 AM
But my freind talls! man he can bring the game back reeeall fast. yesterday he pulled about 3 2 on 1's! he being the one. anyways.... that sucks Tom!

Johnny Bravo
02-24-2002, 11:09 AM
LMAO. Wow... How did the next game go? Did anyone wanna even be on your team? :D

RSUAVE911
02-24-2002, 12:09 PM
That is hilarious...I have shot out a teammate before but never like that. Never like a whole line of teammates, but why as you were shooting the first guy didn't he say I am on your team moron. You must of wanted to DIE. LOL! :p

hitech
02-24-2002, 04:04 PM
And I thought I had a reputation for shooting my own team! I bow humbly to the king of "Shoot'em all, let the ref sort'em out!".

Thanks for the story.

personman
02-24-2002, 04:23 PM
:eek: Thats why god created armbands :eek: :eek:

RSUAVE911
02-24-2002, 04:25 PM
personman,

Are you still banned from chatrooms?

personman
02-24-2002, 04:48 PM
To your agony, no, but sence you brought it up, they will probally ban me again. lol

paint king
02-24-2002, 05:06 PM
damn tom i would feel so bad if i did that i'm proud of u to be alive.

BEEFYSAUSAGE
02-24-2002, 07:18 PM
i once taged another team out in a tourney got the flag(center flag)and then shot my own team out then hung the flag just cause i could ,i got floged off feild by my teammates but i got braging rights(and quite a few bruises) ...so next time ill stop at the opposition.
BEEFY.

talls
02-24-2002, 07:25 PM
HAHA that is great, but them would be fightin terms right there. Anyone on my team shoots me I get mad, but if they do it one purpose...I woulda chased you around the field with my whoopin stick in hand lol. Did ya'll win the tourney because if the team you gave the elimination points to won by like 6 points that would have been funny.

Restola
02-24-2002, 07:41 PM
lol, nice

iwantamag
02-24-2002, 09:55 PM
that is fo sho crazyness times 2







PS. HAve you ever used a stinky shoe as an inhaler??

MiCRoFooL
02-24-2002, 10:36 PM
Come on Tom, admit it...

you were always the last kid picked for team play when you were younger, weren't you?


Nice story, thanks! hehehe ROFLMA!

BEEFYSAUSAGE
02-25-2002, 01:12 AM
well no didnt win ..well not even close..but for that 1 moment in time, i think planets alined and it just all worked..i clicked and just plain obliterated all in my path.
oh the crys of agoney the searing pain and that was from the hangover from the huge nightout befor(team mate spewed all down the side of my car after a huge drinking bout and dancing on tables till 5 in the morning...!!which i didnt notice till the next day!!). I guess it just goes to show what a bit of heart could do when ya play any how mags rock and no matter what i do to myself it just keps going .
A HUGE THANKS TO TOM FOR A FREKIN GREAT PRODUCT!!!!
BEEFY.

G-Rexx
02-25-2002, 07:25 AM
Fell out of my chair laughing so loud. I't takes Paint balls to tell that story!!! ;)

Mango
02-25-2002, 08:03 AM
Wow!! We have all been there. :) Great story thanks for sharing with us.

cphilip
02-25-2002, 09:04 AM
Ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!

Well Tom as the memories fade with time they say you only remember the good parts. In this case that was still a great move and run. Think of it that way. IF they HAD of been ENEMIES....you woulda slayed em all! Positive thinking. :D

Rusty_Jones
02-25-2002, 09:19 AM
Wow Tom, glad you so eloquently proved a point of how rockin' a semi can be. So far I've only been shot at
by my own team a few times. Sucks bad, but it's gotta
feel worse when you're the one whom made the mistake.
Thanks for sharing the story. So, when do we get to
hear about the best day of paintball you've played?