Paintball's funniest moments......

[The Frymarker]

Hey guys,

I thought I would start a thread of funny moments in paintball, I had one on my site and some of the stories were hilarious. Here's an experience at our field.


One night when I was reffing I was setting up teams you know the usual.

The game starts 5 on 5. I am watching the action behind this one bunker. This guy actually stands up to shoot his opponent, by doing this he left himself wide open....

One of our regulars shoots him and his toupee came flying off...We started laughing our goggles were all foggy, he didn't realize what had happened at first. So a little kid running by the toupee screamed RAT RAT and starting firing at the toupee. At that point we were rolling on the ground.

Needless to say the guy wasn't to happy and we never saw him back.

Doesn't he know that bald is beautiful!!!!

I need a laugh guys got any stories????

:D http://www.nep8ball.com/pictures/me.jpg

[Jonno06]

hahahahahaha...i have a few,ill tell you them after i watch splatterfactor:D

[The Frymarker]

Yes that had to be one of the funniest moments at our field, to this day we still laugh:D

[RT_Luver]

I started something like this. i dont feel like retyping it though

[paintbattler]

my funniest one is when RT_Luver ran straight into a bunker.IT WAS FUNNY

[Scooter/Cootie]

Gotta bump it up. Need some stories. :p

[krazyp110]

I was at a friends b-day party and we went paintballing and one kid I hated ended up coming with us. Anyways we were playing a game called trader where the ref picks a few people to be traders after 2:00 goes by in the game (traders kill everyone, including their team) I set up shop in a tower and hid out until the whistle for 2:00 minutes goes by and I stand up and see the kid I hate....I hit him 4 times, 2x in the chest and 2x in the leg and he ended up screaming and crying telling me to stop when I quit shooting him.....thought it was pretty funny.

[Vegeta]

I was with 10 friends once, down at "Fearless Fighters" in the middle of nowhere is some hick town in MO.. The field was a mostly wooded field with lots of wooden log bunkers and stuff. So were were finally getting to play, and it was 5 on 5. I was hte only experienced player there, and off the start I ran up to a bunker, slid, and watched this big friend of mine slide in with me. This was a log bunker, only 4 ft high. tight. so we're shooting ,and without us seeing it, another friend ran behind us and moved up to the 50 or so.. he was actually on their half f the field. now he pops up and starts shooting backwards on our side and an opponent who had done the opposite move as him. We hadn't seen this. I thought my teammate was just someone fromt he otehr team who had moved up and was firing on our teammates. me and the friend in hte bunker with me had a conversation, wich went a little like this:

"hey! hey1 look at him! who is that?"
"looks like greg to me"
"nah! cant be!"
"yup! lets take him.."
"yea ok i'll take the shot"

At this point I'll shoot, one ball, and as soon as I did he popped up and I gogged him in the ear. we watched to see him look up, look around, then say a few cursewords, then start walking in our dead box. He ahd to walk past us to get there. That went a little like this:

"Did you see who shot me?"
(me) "nope.. not at all.. taht came outa no where."
(friend in bunker) "yea man i have no idea that thing like curved or something.. they are pretty good over there"

(dead friend walks off shaking head, with us laughing in the bunker)


i have heard the stories about RT-Luvr running into the sup air bunker and knocking it over.. lmfao

[davidb]

The first time I ever played paintball at an official field (Extreme Paintball in Modesto, which is frequented by the BL Ironmen), I had a very funny thing happen to me. It was a pretty intense game, rec-ball, but not in the woods. The players were pretty much dropping like flies, until it came down to just me on the one side against three on the other. One had an Angel, the other had Cockers, and I had my stock Shutter with a slimed barrel running CO2 with a VL 200 half-full of paint and no guppies. Sound a bit one-sided? This guy with the Angel was the only one who really mattered, because he was sitting there just absolutely raining paint onto my bunker. I would just pop out every once in a while and give each of them a few rounds, just enough to let them know I was still alive. I was very entertaining to watch for those sitting on the sidelines. You see, I have this uncanny ability to bend backwards really far, to the point where my head is like a foot off the ground, without falling over (Neo ain't got nothing on me). Anyway, I spent a lot of the time just sitting there waiting for one of them to come and try to bunker me. When the guy with the Angel finally worked up the courage to try, I noticed the sudden lack of drumroll on my bunker, popped out, and scared him back into his hole. Then, all of a sudden, the crowd starts cheering. I'm sitting there trying to figure out what's going on, and then realized the game was over. Very proud of myself for having held them off, I asked somebody if the clock had run out. Pointing to the other end of the field, he said, "No, you won!". There, walking back from my teams flag station, was the other remaining player on my team that nobody realized was there, who had hung the other teams flag while they were busy with me. Maybe you had to be there, but it was sure funny at the time.

[davidb]

Originally posted by Vegeta
i have heard the stories about RT-Luvr running into the sup air bunker and knocking it over.. lmfao

lol One time at Extreme we were playing a game where we had half the of the BL Ironmen on each team, along with just everybody else who was there, including myself (Bob was on the other team, his son Zack was on my team). There were way too many people for this little field that we were playing, so I ended up being assigned to this bunker way up near the fifty. The game began, and I took off running... right into the firing lanes of TWO Ironmen armed with SOB Timmies. They each nailed me about five times before I went careening into this rather large hyperball bunker, knocking it flat, with me on top, frantically trying to call myself out

[MrMag]

i think one of the funniest things i have seen, was when fairgrounds used to be around. we were playing airball, and i was on the farside. the game starts, and we all go running to bunkers. well this one guy was trying to rush, but only he was in the line of EVERYONES fire. so he is jumping over one of the inflatable bunkers, gets shot a bunch, and as he comes down, he tears the thing wide open. it was pretty funny watching it deflate, and the guy go off the field

[Yatta!]

Alright, I got one, Tom Kaye and Budd Orr walk into a bar...

[MikeCouves]

That brings me back to some funny moments but the best one was when it was a 1 on 1 with a cocky guy from my school. He was shooting an Automag and I had a Spyder. He wasn't that great but said he was amazing, you know the regular stuff. I have to admit I was a little nervous.

At the whistle, it was speedball, I just started running and shooting at him because that's all I could do, and that's what the older guys said to do. So I was running and shooting at him, yelling to spook him. He ran into a bunker but tripped, rolled, and slid into it, knocking it over. He starts squeeling that he broke his leg or some body part...

So I ran up to him, and went "boo" in a little voice, he just starts in again on the squeelage. Everyone laughed at cocky :), that'll teach 'em.

[rikkter]

well it was at a tournament and were advancing on the other team (scenario). well, we were HEAVLY out numberd in this little town, but they must of thought we had more, (my team only, like 7 of us vs 30), we just took them all out, it was funny, we toook over that town in like 30 secs, but the funny part was, my two teammates mikey and steve lit this guy up BADDD in the head, he had like no lie 20 paint splats on his head EVERYWHERE, back side front top bottome lens. hes comes up complaining. and he was our own team. woo k, it wasd ust funny had to be there.

[paint magnet]

One time I bunkered a team in a fort, and shot everyone inside through a window except for one in the tower. This kid lays his Spyder down, climbs halfway down the ladder, leans out and says "What was that?!" right as I shot him in the goggles. It was pretty funny.

Another time, we were playing the Junkyard course and me and two other guys were behind a huge oil drum. Two people on the other team started banging on it and I had no idea what they were doing, but one dude thought they were going to come over the top, and he was just standing there with his gun pinted at the sky when they bunkered us. It was funny for them, I guess.

[GZ_Timmy]

I was at AG in Virginia and we were playing a course called Wasteland and it was really a big densley wooded wastland. It wasn't a very great map but I was doing great in it, tearing it up with my GZ. Well anyway you know that feeling you get on the highway when someone does something that trips your spider sense where you know that they are going to switch lanes? Well I got one of those on the field knowing that this guy was gonna make a run at me and the guys on the right tape. He cut all the way accroos the field. While he was trying to cross he started running straight for my group, unfortunately for him he didn't see me and he was gettn caught in a lot of brush. I pop off about 5 shots which all hit him and he acts like he got by a 45 magnum. This guy flys back about 6 feet, lands and lands on his back. He also through his gun in the air (rentail 98). I asked him if he was alright and after a couple minutes he got up and walked away. I know I wasn't running hot. It was very funny.

-jB

[demonguy8]

jeez ive got too many stories but here goes...

Country club: Anyone whos been there knows just how slippery that floor can be... Well one of my friends went for the Nerf dart inflatable bunker and managed to slide completely underneath it and get himself caught for about a full minute before somone bounced a ball off the floor to hit him out. (to make matters worse i was having so much fun laughing at him that i myself got gogged)

Also at CC i managed to (with help of course) take out the entire right half of the other team. so i move all the way up to their back bunkers(unnoticed!) only to be shot by my own team.=/


Fox River Games: We played on the first day that it hadnt rained in a week so the fields where ALL MUD... anywayz me and about half of my team go striaght up the right tape line and come across a patch of mud (about 5 ft across)... being the "smart" one with cleats on, i decided to go first.. i take the 1st step and am instantly up to my waste in mud and am still sinking! Barely keeping my self from sinking by holding on to the other side of the pit with one hand and keeping my precious paintball gun out of the mud with the other i was not really going to be going anywhere.. so anywayz my friend says that the mud isnt as bad about 10 feet off the tape and tries to cross over there.... The next thing i hear is aww *poop* i lost my *engaging in sexual activity* shoe!!!!(*slightly edited*) so he tosses his gun to another guy and literally DIVES back to find his shoe (i guess it was only a foot or so deep by him)the rest of our team came around and pulled me out (took 3 of em lol) and helped my friend out... so with about 5 lbs of mud on each of my legs we continue to flank em.... (if youve ever seen The Thin Red Line, then think about the americans rushing the japanese town)needless to say we trampled them..

[paint magnet]

Once at the end of the day, everyone was running low on paint or was out, but we decided to play anyway. I didn't have enough money for air, so I played without a gun and just ran into the fort for the flag, getting shot numerous times. Then my friend's Piranha ran out of paint but he still contiunued to use it. He picked up some paint off the ground and started throwing it. At the end there was only one person left with paint and he had 2 shots. It was kinda funny.

[Jonno06]

demon guys story with the mud made me laugh so hard my eyes watered......

[wyn1370]

I've got this buddy who I used to play with in high school. He's got to be pushing 350lbs. And his favorite move is to find a tree about 5 inches in diameter and hide behind it. it kind of looks like this. He's since gotten bigger and doesn't move so well, so he doesn't play anymore.

[The Frymarker]

Those were funny, the mud one lol was great.

I have another one but it was one of those had to be there moments...I have it all on tape.

My husband and his teammates were at a tourney in Mass.


I was taping it was their first game of the day.

The ref yells 123 gogogo, they start running for bunkers and Paul one of Tony's teammates who is about 6'5 250 0r more trips and flys through the air, his marker went flying.

Then he tries to get up and keep running, he falls again, finally he just crawls to his bunker.

I think the funniest part is the video that we keep playing back over and over with me saying did Paul just fall?? I got it on tape.


I have another story where my husband's pants fell down, and he tripped and his marker went flying, mask came off, revy was broke. That was funny too but I didn't have that one on tape.

[ThePatriot]

Scene, June, Woods Game, 1 Hour North of the City...

Me and my friends, about 5v5 4v4...large friend of mine, im talking huge, like 6'4 350 lbs, rushing with us. He trips...and rolls down a HUGE hill he was running down, watch the fat man roll....

Same day, same kid, we are behind a rock debating whether or not to move up. I suddenly hear him SCREAM, he frantically rips off his mask, it turns out a Bee had flown into his mask and stung him in the Chin.

And here is me being a n00b mistake...First game ever, my friend was trying to hit me with a flatline, well it hit my pants leg near my ankle twice, it was about as fast if i dropped it from waist heigh(gotta love that extra range, pretty useless) and i freaked and didnt know what to do. I called myself out.

[The Frymarker]

lol that's funny

[paint magnet]

Still laughing over the mud one too:D

[paint magnet]

One time me and this new kid ran to the center bunker right when the game started, only to find out that so had the other team. Surprisingly though, neither one of us got shot until we moved.

[AngelBoy]

I wasnt there, but I heard about it. This guy was snap shootin on an air field. He popped out to shoot and shot the air bunker and it bounced back and he ended up gogging himself. But he got the other guy out too. Thats the only really funny one I know of, but I wasnt there.

[Troy]

98 World Cup SOBs vs ?/ Whole game is on tape somewhere.

woods field(most likely not possible on a speedball field)

We take 2 bunkers on the 50 on the break. Tracy takes the center 50. On the video you see him shooting and shooting then he reaches back to grad a guppie and he is supprised to realize that he isn't wearing his pack. You can see the "what the ...." look on his face right through his mask. He plays for a few more min just picking his shots. Then he goes and runs all the way back to the flag station and grabs 4 of the extra guppies that the back guys left incase they ran out of paint. He then proceeds to run right back into his 50 bunker. We end up winning the game. Still don't know how he pulled the second run off, carrying 4 tubes and his gun.

[BTAutoMag]

ok i got 4 good ones...

first game on an organized field i ever played...
the ref yelled go and almost imediatley a guy from the 3 our 3 man team got gogged (not even two steps into the game). im laughing about this as i slid into the bunker but i quickly forget about it when i see the other person on my team walking to the dead box. i freak out as paint starts flying at my bunker (v shaped, im tucked in) i hear someone running so i poke out to try to die with dignaty and i see a blur of camo as something slids past me and i whip around shooting as fast as my stock spyder compact 2000 and my n00b trigger finger will let me. at the exact same time i hear another person running in behind me. i fire my heart out and before the second is up i feel pain like ive never felt. the two of them bunker me with full hoppers and by the time i call out they are dry firing. OUCH!!!!!!!

same day next game...
im not playing, two people wanted to do one on one. for the first 4 minites of the game all it is is non stop bunker pounding. then we hear silence... i look over and they are on opposite sides of the same bunker. the bunker is made of netting so they are staring at each other from less the 2 feet away. i hear them talking to each other and then they both matrix dive (literaly) to the opposite ends and fire away. we dont know who won but it was funny.

and again the very next game...
3 on 3 again switched sides. about half way through the game me and colin are at the same bunker listed above. some one bunkers BOTH OF US. i panic and hide behind colin scrunching up tight. he's reloading his hopper and by the time he closes it and shoots him out im covered in paint and colins un touched!!!!!!!!! the dude said he doesnt know how he hit me because i was behind the pillar that was behind colin, im small, colins big and the other guy didnt even see me there.

last one...
this happened yesterday, second of the last game of the day for me at a different field... we start out and i run to the top. i lay down cover fire as a guy runs by me to get to a bunker to my right. after he's there i make sure my cover is safe in the bunker behind me and search for prey:D i see two people up at the top and fire away. they duck in time and the guy at my right call out. i see his mask and hopper covered wioth yellow so i yell to my cover to move up. he moves to the same bunker. im still trying for those two accross from me. then my cover cries for paintcheck. here's the convo with the ref...
"ah never mind im out"
"where you hit"
"n the chest"
"no youre still in"
"no im out"
"no youre in, your clean"
"no im out"
"fine call yourself out if you want"
me "dude if he says youre in dont argue with him"
so after the whole episode is over with he pops up and yells
"**** NOW IM OUT"
i look at him and his whole goggles neck and chest are painted fully with yellow (im not kidding, the ref was laughing so hard and had to lead him off the field cause he couldnt see) well i know that that didnt come from the two im shooting at cause they are shooting blue. so i look out to see if i can see someone else up here. THWACK a ball hit my chest. i tuck in expecting more but none came. i call paintcheck and i am declared clean. i pull my gun in close and as compact as i can get i look out for the playetr who shot at me. THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACK. 3 yellow balls hit my gun one hits the back of my hand (the one game i didnt wear gloves) one hits my shoulder and the last nails me square in the temple sending me flying and looking at stars. next thing i know there is a guy standing over me asking if im ok. i say a couple choice words at him and he says "sorry but i had to take the shot" i then realise that the dude who hit me was the guy im talking to. i asked him where he was and he pointed to a spot no less the 10 feet from me (we chronoed his gun later... 325!!!!! you get hit in the temple from 10 feet away with a gun that hot and we'll see how you feel.) the ref helps me off the field (helps=carries on shoulders) the guy who got me out proceeds to take out the rest of my 6 man team by himself... end of story

[BTAutoMag]

BTW we got that whole last story on tape:D

[Spray Painter]

I was ref at an outlaw speedball field my friend set up on his property and they were playing games of 5 vs.5 when at the start of the game one of the more experienced players
ran up about 3/4 of the field to a bunker i was standing by, shot once, and his cocker locked up with bolt stick. i asked him if he wanted to call himself out and he said no. about 5 seconds later he run up and makes all five of his opponents surrender while they were screaming at him to "don't shoot, don't shoot". it's one of the coolest moves iv'e seen made by a single player.(they were shooting at him while he made them surrender)

the same day i barrowed one of the other players guns(i dind't bring mine) and was playing 5 vs.5 when a noob on my team shot me in the back from 10 feet away.i yelled at him because it hurt and i was pissed off that someone on my on team would shoot me in the back. anyway my yelling made the other team start laughing and the rest of my team was able to bunker all of them because they wern't paying attention.

[Crazy]

After playing a day at badlandz, with it being muddy i put my pants in my bag, caked in mud... not thinkin about two weeks later i take them out(note, they havnt been washed yet) and wash them for the next days practice. So practice comes along and the first game just started, i lane, and move to my bunker, sliding in i tore the whole entire crotch out of my pants, from front to back, knee to knee. So from now on, everything gets washed the minute i get home ;)

[AssassN]

hahahahaha i got one but it would take to long to type so instead ill laugh and make you feel bad because you cna't hear it, HAHAHAHAHAA

[aaron_mag]

Unfortunately I have at least one story every time I go to the field.

One that was particularly funny, however, was on a woods field. It has a hill on the right side so I sprinted up and took the hill. From my position I was getting some great distance and took some people out.

One guy, however, was in his bunker tight. I figured I'd go bunker him since he wouldn't expect me sprinting down a steep hill. Off I go and naturally trip on a root. I tumbled down the hill right next to his bunker.

He is looking at me wondering if I'm okay (and cracking up). I go to raise my marker and he (of course) pumps a shot into me (still laughing).

Not the first time my clumsiness added mirth to someone else's day!!!!:D

[ghideon]

I played an indoor game when I got my marker. I hadn't played paintball in a few years. The indoor field was really small, maybe 30 yards by 40 yards. It was one of those places where you go, pick your bunker and stay there till there have been a bunch of eliminations. It also didn't help that at times it was 12v12 or 15v15 in that little place. One of the games starts, I poke my head out the side of my bunker and see a set of goggles. I must have dumped a dozen shots towards those goggles, and then the person raises his plexi shield and I find out it's a ref (he was wearing a red Redz jersey, as were half a dozen players). I felt like a complete n00b as he waved at me (I waved back). Less then a minute later I was taking a few shots at an actual player one bunker to the right of him; he waved at me again to make sure I knew who he was. Then, a few games later, I'm running laterally for a better bunker. The same ref is yelling a player near me to come over to him. I thought he meant me, so I bee line towards him, and he waves me off. I slide into the closest bunker, and actually knock him on his rear.

The next day I played at the Extreme Paintball Field in Modesto. I managed to rip my pants twice. I haul you-know-what to the fifty and slide on my knee (ouch). I get behind the bunker, fire a few shots and feel a slight breeze in my crotch area. I look down to see a nice rip in my BDU pants. Luckily, they have an olive drab flap that hangs down, so you can't see my tighty-whities until about two games later, when I rip a bigger hole in them.

Finally, a few weeks later at the Modesto field, I take a bunch of friends who are new to the sport for a private game. We were playing on the"rec-ball" field there, a fairly big field (we were playing 5v5). Me and a friend (John) were rolling up the opposing team's flank. There was only one enemy player left on our side of the field, his brother (Denny). Denny makes the smart move and retreats. He runs down into a depression where there are two large trees. He starts trading fire with the other people on my team, and then tries to jump the low hanging limb on one of the trees. I'm about 70 yards away, and can see him fall on his face, get to his knees, and then he gets lit up by three players on my team. Even at 70 yards I can see the paint flying off of his body. John, me and the ref couldn't stop laughing.

[Potatoboy]

Alright, I'm incredibly bored, so I'll add two.

Story 1, from my First Paintball experience.

There used to be a nice indoor field in my area called WAP. (World of Action Pursuit) The field owner was named Chuck. Nice guy. But I digress....

Every year on Chuck's birthday, he had a party at the field. Free Rental, Free Air, Free Registration, Free Food, Free Pop, Free Cake, Five cent rounds. So a group of friends got together, some experienced, some not, and decided to show up.

Needless to say it was a fairly packed field. It was a little bit ago, so I'm a little fuzzy, but I'd estimate 75 vs. 75 on a field that used to be a large grocery store.

During one of the early games, our team decided to do a massive push, and surprise the ever loving bejeesus out of the unsuspecting foe.

This is all well and good, and probably would have worked if it were not for the other team having the same idea.

So, both teams meet at their respective 40's and take cover to start the fire fight. All but one person of course...

Fortunately that person was not me, but it was a member of our group. He apparently did not notice that he was running, full bore, right into cross fire... alone.

What happened next can only be referred to as "The Gumby Run."

The field had a base of sand, dirt, and woodchips. A bit odd for an indoor field, but it was a few years ago, and most of the indoor fields around here were trying to emulate the outdoor experience. Well, under the "stuff was, well, tile.

As this person finally came to the realization that what was about to happen was a bad thing, they decided to stop. However, inertia begged to differ. They continued in their direction of travel, on one foot, in a pose that looked similar to Gumby sliding around.

However, unlike Gumby, this person proceeded to get lit up by fire, from both directions, by at least a good 20 people. (Our team was of course not aiming directly at him, but at the opposing team who was hanging out of their bunkers firing and laughing their hineys off.)

Oh, and to make it worse, the field was allowing full auto, and there were a few Rainmakers and Angels involved.

It was his last game of the day, and for the next week he was quite sore.


Story 2

This one is not quite as funny, but deserves to be mentioned anyway.

Playing with some walk-ons at a local indoor field, it came down to about a 6 on 3, and I was one of the latter.

I noticed that I was running out of air rapidly as I had not refilled my tank before the game started.

I decided that my best possible course of action was to become a diversion.

I ran towards the enemy while they were concerned with someone else, and slid into a carrot Sup Air. Normally one would slide and possibly couch, in order to snap and return to cover. I however decided to just sit behind the bunker Indian style, and promptly started to lob (about 400 PSI left in tank) balls in their general direction. They got scared... Real scared...

Sitting there I was seemingly impervious. Balls whizzed past me, and they were a bit too sheepish to move any closer and attempt (attempt?) to bunker me.

I was noticeably out of air, as I was firing and they we falling helplessly about 20 feet out, yet they seemed to consider me the greatest threat on the field. The other two guys used this as an opportunity to push, and managed to eliminate two of them before they "wizened up" and started putting some real pressure on us. After that match they didn't seem to care much about me, so I managed to snag a few of them while they were busy considering me a non threat.

[Rooster]

My first tournyment was played in a fairly baddly constructed palletesque field. On the opening run I went full bore for the fifty, but realized their back player would have a bead on me and dived for the bunker near the forty. Instead of diving I tripped and did a full summersault in the air and smacked my head right into the bunker. Not only was I dazed, but the bunker fell down. So I just sat with a dumb look on my face rubbing my head, looking at the other team for a few seconds. Luckily it was limited paint and they didn't try real hard to gun me down as i pulled the bunker back up.

Oddly enough, that was the only game we won that day.

[synreal]

tato- who executed the gumby move?

[845]

Newbie to other newbie thats an angel cause it is chrome and is running off NOS. (talking about my Micromag) :rolleyes:

Once at the Liberty Big Game it was the end of the day and I was running very low on paint. I took out my PGP and went out on the field with 10 paintballs. We were taking a the village so I went up into the tower and I was yelling out the other teams positions. I then sat down and I watched through a hole as my team was quickly losing ground. Eventually the town was over taken with me in the tower alone. I started walking down the stairs to the tower and there I see a green JT Flex Mask I was like holy *beep* and I fell down the stairs :eek: I did manage to shoot him though but then I got lit up real bad by like 3 other guys.

[Potatoboy]

Originally posted by synreal
tato- who executed the gumby move?

Blarby.

[CRASHKING]

i did something similar to the gumby move but managed to still stand.... it was the first game of the night and i was running to the 45 and well since it has been raining in florida for quite a while now it was really muddy. and well we here the whistle and start running like mad and when i get near the bunker i try to stop right as the mud starts and luckily i stoped before knocking th bunker over. but it was scary when i realized that i had lost traction and i thought my gun was going to try and be an angel and fly(LOL) but i didnt fall and i ended up getting muddier as the night progressed.

going paintballing tommorow so i will post anything that is funny saturday.

[Ironmag]

I have one too. This happened the first time that I played. It was a 10 vs. 10 match and I'm on this team with some of my friends. Before the match we decide on strategy and I said that I was going to go right and my other friend said the same. Well, as the match starts, I run right but my friend gets delayed somehow. I'm trading shots with some guy across the field. I'm shooting from the right side of the sup air so I can't see anything to the left of me. All of a sudden my delayed friend finally decides to go full right and happens to get caught in the line of fire. I shot him a couple of times in the back and the other guy got him on the goggles and chest. So, of course he is out of the game. So then after the game all of my friends were laughing at him for getting in the line of fire and he starts getting mad at me for shooting him in the back. All I said was, "well, if you just stuck to the plan nothing would have happened." To this day we still laugh about that.

[CRASHKING]

well we(3 of us) went to the field last night at about 7:00 and got on the trollie(the shop and fields are about a football field away) and we start to play at about 7:30 and first couple of games we empty out our hoppers. since we were low on paint and no one was showing up yet we decided to put 10 paintballs into our hoppers and do 1v1(half field). well first game, the whistle blows i fire and get my friend in the goggles( i couldnt belive i had dont that)so we keep playing one on one until another trollie arrives with some more refs and there cockers(3 of them) and so another ref got a rental from the shed(one of my friends was low on paint so he stayed out)

and so me and my friend (with our spyder tl+ and flash) go on one side with a ref and his cocker and then on the other side are the other 3 refs(2 cockers and 1 rental)seeing as we play once a month we though we were going to get our buts whooped. we run to the 45 and the ref on our team with the cocker gets hit and then we think we are screwed. but we still played the game as it was fun to do. and i wasnt shooting much but watching through the cracks and observing a player as he moved and after awhile i got him out and my friend got the other 2 out. we were amazed that we were able to do that. the second game was done the same way except i got 2 guys out one with the cocker and another with the rental and then a cocker got me out but my friend got him. the last game we didnt get anyone out and thats when the refs had to go(it was fun though). but for the rest of the night it was just us 3 playing around on the field(friday nights are normally 25 vs. 25) around 10:30 we start packing up to go home.

o yeah the field was flooded as usuall and so we were soaked in mud and water but still managed to have fun

sorry if it confuses you.

man was that the best night we ever had on about 750 paintballs each.

[edwardjcarlson]

Story 1:World cup 99'. Team Far East Dragons vs. Some team I can't remember. 5 on 5 sup air field. Dragons have an terrible break and 2 get goged out of the gate, both back players. Two run on both side to the 30 and the last runs to the 50 to get the flag pull. Guy on the 50 slides in. Everyone hears a big pssssssssst! The taco at 50 is deflating. Dude was wearing metal kleats. One of the dragons on the 30 gets eliminated and the other dragon is having gun problems and is getting hammered for both sides. By this time the taco has fallen down really low and the guys on the other team eliminate the last dragon at the 30. The dragon at the 50 reaches up to get the flag pull. None of the players on the other team see him pull it and run to where the guy at the 30 was looking for the flag. The dragon at the fifty realizes they can't see him due to the taco laying on him. He plugs both guys in the back leaving 3. The other guys see the 2 get eliminated and take positions behind the 30 sup air cans. They still can't figure out where the last dragon is and they slowly start easing up the field. The solo dragon plugs the lead guy when he gets to about their 40, but has a barrel break and jams. Everyone sees him beating the crap out of the gun to no avail. The 2 guys left figure out that he has to be in the middle and talk up a plan to run on the left and right side at the same time.
The last dragon knocks off the now almost flat taco and takes off running at the same time that the two guys go around the sides to get him. The timing was so good, they all miss seeing each other. The dragon runs down and hangs the flag only to be eliminated because he left his gun at the taco to make the hang. It was a bummer they didn't win, but you have to admit it was a great game.

Story 2: World cup 99' 10 man, AA. vs Rage or (cant remember) Awesome game, lasted a long time. Lotsa guys having to go out due to running out of air or paint. The AA's are running all shockers (Hey it was 99!), but the team they were playing had a couple of these new guns called angels. (Hmmm, can you see a passing of the torch?)
Came down to 3 on 3 and 2 of the AA's were pinned down in a far corner bunker that looked like a fox hole. The other team could not get a shot on them. One of the 3 remaining AA's took a hit and One of the ones in the bunker tried to get out and got demolished. So for 5 min the last AA managed to get 2 of the remaining guys. The last guy on Rage ran out of paint and hauled butt back to the rear. The AA guy thinks he is trying to lure him out and stays in the bunker taking pop shots. The Rage guy gets to the back and starts hitting the net looking for unbroken paintballs. He manages to get about a half a hopper of allstars that someone had dumped near the fence from the previous game. He starts working his way back up. The AA must have had 3 cases of paint on his back, because he was constantly firing. The Rage guy takes a position at midfield and lets off a short burst. One of the balls goes high and hits the back netting, bounces, and breaks on top of the bunker. He fires three more and one goes inside and the ref runs to the AA to check for a hit. The Rage guy sees the ref checking him and unloads the rest of the hopper into the fence and eliminates the AA guy in the bunker. Man talk about a bad bounce!
I have plenty more, but thats enough for today.

[SirOssis]

Ah Country Club Paintball... that place is setup for non stop paintball comedy. Can't tell you how many times I've gone shoulder first into the wooden bunkers or have the legos fall over or just plain end up on my back out in the open.

Then there was the Armason(sp?) tournament at CPX 2 years ago. To set this up.. the tournament is in the middle of Feb and for the 2 weeks prior it did nothing but rain. The day of the tournament the temp drops to 30, starts snowing, winds at a steady 40mph gusting to 50's. Well they couldn't setup the sup air cuz of the wind so they pretty much just randomly roped off fields. We go to walk the fields... the mud is anywhere from 6-12 inches deep everywhere. someone was losing a shoe like everyother game. I in turn rip my pants from ankle to ankle. Mr. Happy wasn't to happy.

Another good one for me was trying to do a dead man's walk with the gun in one hand... the hopper in the other.. and the barrel in my pocket(was borrowing a gun and didn't know what the heck was wrong with it)

[BTAutoMag]

ok i was playing at a friends house that ive never played at before. the rule at his house is that if you are out of air or balls, youre screwed. you have to be hit to get out.

anyways. 4th game of the day, 5 on 5. one of the guys on my team was stupid enough to come onto the field with two guns which we all were laughing at but we let him none the less. well the game plays out nomally and he accually did pretty good. it came down to a guy with a tippmann RT vs me and the two gun guy (now only using one) well i run out of air and just as i run out the two gun kid yells at me that he's out of paint.getting a hairbrained idea i dash over to his bunker and hand him one of my pods and he hands me the tank on his other gun. i disconnect my tank and just when he's about to load the balls into his tank the kid with the tippy rt bunkers us. his gun went reactive fully auto and he unloaded the rest of his hopper on us (about 50 balls)...

well me and the other dude are on our hands and knees expecting the worse and when he finaly runs out of paint i slowly poke my head up. the rt dudes laughing on the best move he's ever made. i look my self over and look at the other guy and say "he didnt hit me... you still in?" immediatly the guy stops laughing, looks at us amazed and BOOKS, pulling a spare pod out of his pack on the way.the guy behind me says "oh that little prick" reloads the other balls and BOOKS after him. im thinking the same thing so i grab the full tank and book after the other two. i manage to screw in the tank and gass my mag while running and i make it to where they stopped to shoot at each other.i yell at the guy to runn to his left as a distraction and i run to the right to bunker him. he see's me comming and fires a shot at me that misses the top of my head by milimeters (i felt it) and i hear the sure fire sound that a tippmann just ran out of air. i run up to his bunker and point my mag at his mask and yell "SURRENDER OR YOURE TURNING PINK"...

ever so s l o w l y he pulls his left hand up... recocks his tippy and fires another shot... i gave him fair warning so i proceed to empty the rest of my hopper on him (about 30 balls) and i didnt miss.

after the game every one was laughing about it until he took off his shirt and we saw the welts. then we started laughing again:D

[ogre55]

The first is from a while ago.

I was playing at a long defunct indoor field in Brooklyn NY called Urban Survival. This is back in the day when the only semis around were the 68 Special and most guy played with pumps.

This field was an old warehouse so there were a lot of blind corners where you could lay serious ambush and deny territory for the other side. I manned one of these and waited. A guy runs down into the blind corner, but he moved so fast I barely had time to shoot and put one up at a 45 degree angle. He was hot right on the mouthpeice and was so surprised that he tripped and fell backwards.

Now the image is what is funny. This was before the ban on red paint and we were shooting blood red. So all I see is the entire lower part of his head go blood red and he falls backwards. For a second I thought I killed the guy somehow. He was fine, just surprised and eating paint.

This next one was recent, at Paintball Arena in Long Island, NY. We were playing speedball and me and another guy on my team sprint for the 50 on the break. He's carrying a 'Mag Classic with Warp feed. He does a knee slide into the barrier (it was more like a retaining wall) and starts shooting.

Unbeknownst to him, the impact of him with the wall, dislodged his hopper. So he is shooting out his warp feed, but with no hopper. As he got the barrier first, the hopper landed at my feet when I got to the wall.

So as he shoots out the warp, I pick up his hopper and tap him on the shoulder. He is wondering why he is no longer feeding paint, when I hand him his hopper in the middle of the game.

Amusing, if not funny.

Ogre