Spank Daddy's looking for team members for NJ- AO meet

[cphilip]

Ok here it is. FatMan and I looking for an old farts team to spank some young-uns behinds at NJ AO meet on the 13th.

Criteria: You must be 40 years old or over. You must not care if you win or lose (but we will win a few!). You must not be be able to go more than like four five games without wanting to sit our for a while. You must be a bit overwheight and beer guts are a plus. You must bring your own lawn chair...you must actually need one!

email me to join, we need three more....

We will be the "Spank Daddy's" and after we win or lose we will chant "Spank Daddy done spanked your young ***!" and "old Farts rule!" :D

[cphilip]

So its looking like our standards are too high then? :confused:

[oldsoldier]

Hey, i'm 31...a little young for you, but I definitely dont class myself as "young". Essentially, yuou are looking for a 5 man back team huh?:D Well, I offer my services to you, if you are looking for a "younger" old player.

[manike]

Originally posted by cphilip
Criteria: You must be 40 years old or over.

Wow... How are you going to find anyone THAT old... ;)

manike

[Clare]

Wow... How are you going to find anyone THAT old...

ouch! that hurt even me! wait, no it didn't!

[Snewk]

Dang chpilip, wish my dad and grandfather played paintball they would be PERFECT. Both have beer guts, both are over 40.

[cphilip]

Well its becoming obvious that the problem is not that there are no players out there that meet out stringent criteria but that no one wants to ADMIT they meet it...

:rolleyes:

[hitech]

If I still lived out there I would join. And I meet ALL the criteria! :eek: And I can even play front! :eek: However, I no longer bring lawn chairs to the field, I kept forgeting to take them home with me. You know, the mind is the first thing to go....

[cphilip]

Originally posted by hitech
...You know, the mind is the first thing to go....

No....Second! :D

[G-Rexx]

Hey CPHILIP, I'm in, I'm over the hill, but i've got game!!! :D

[manike]

Originally posted by G-Rexx
but i've got game!!! :D

I think that's against Phil's rules....


:D

manike

[MagDog68]

Originally posted by cphilip

Criteria: You must be 40 years old or over.


Phil -
Isn't that age discrimination? I mean i was really close on this one, but the 14 year age difference...oh jesus - only 14 years till I am over the hill? AHHHHHHHHHH


~Fred

[graycie]

uh......i feel forty, does that count?

[manike]

Originally posted by graycie
uh......i feel forty, does that count?

Yeah and I look it...

[cphilip]

Well as I explained to Capo in chat...we want to make sure we are not into the finals as it would cut into our beer drinking and sitting around chewing the fat time and so we don't want anyone too serious about it all.

So even some of you tired old lazy young kids may qualify...so G-Rex you sound a little too eager to me...:D

[CoFFeY[NiTrO]]

I kinda have a gut


I'm really lazy...


O wait....I'm not 21.... :p



beer :rolleyes:
lol

[graycie]

Originally posted by manike


Yeah and I look it...

oh pahlease, if you color the gray you would look like a really tall 17 year old;)

[InfinatyBPS]

I am qualify for everything except the over 40 thing :p oh well... And im not on NJ. But its your loss :)

[Tunaman]

I'm in...can't wait!:D

[cphilip]

O-Kay We got our "three fart" team!

[oldsoldier]

Guess that means I'm not on the team huh?:( :D

[cphilip]

Well soldier, we might use you if you will run with a convincing limp or reach and grab your back occasionaly. Practice yelling this: "Your out you Whipper Snapper!" and we will listen to you when we get there and see. You'll find us stittin in the shade sweating and complaining of the heat and our bursitis!

[oldsoldier]

well, I dont run too fast, and I got my own chair! :D

[MagDog68]

Hey, hold on - oldsoldier and I come as a pair. If you want one, you have to take both!

~Fred

[oldsoldier]

Works for me...you need a chair?:D

[cphilip]

Alrighty then our dance card is full...

Let see we probably will only need like a case of paint for all of us so that means we got plenty of money left for beer...Wanna kick in on a team keg? And maybe a 10 pound box of Baby Back pork ribs?


:D

[oldsoldier]

Yep...and maybe some Beh-Gay....

[cphilip]

Bring your own Tums and Ibuprofen? or I can go to Sams and get one of them 55 gallon drums if you guys wanna pitch in...

Note: we will have our own team tent by the way...look for the white easy up. Also... I will probably bring us a generator and a big four foot box fan...

Also think it would be a good idea to have a big bag of candy so we can go around to all the Hottie young chicks and say "Want some candy little girl?" and leer at them! :D

[FatMan]

Originally posted by cphilip
Bring your own Tums and Ibuprofen? or I can go to Sams and get one of them 55 gallon drums if you guys wanna pitch in...

Note: we will have our own team tent by the way...look for the white easy up. Also... I will probably bring us a generator and a big four foot box fan...

Also think it would be a good idea to have a big bag of candy so we can go around to all the Hottie young chicks and say "Want some candy little girl?" and leer at them! :D

Umm, sounds good, but I don't leer much any more. I just stare and drool!

So, biggest gut is captain and gets to pick bunkers (so he don't have to run too far or crouch too low)?

Hey Phil, we got room for a Laz-Y-Boy in the truck?

FatMan

[cphilip]

Yes, I think thats an apropriate call Walt...so unless y someone shows up with greater "assets" your team captain...

I think we can get the Layzboy on even if we have to hook up the trailer...

So I count six now...so lets see...Hummmm....well that still leaves us four short of a five man Old Farts team then....well... we will have to see what comes on up...

Oh another thing we need to practice...so if you guys would do this:

Drill number one: say "pull my finger" over and over to everyone you meet for the next two weeks.

Drill number two: Shake your left fist in the air in a circular motion and shout "Slow Down"

Drill number three: As soon as you leave your house and head out, turn your left turn signal on and leave it there...all the way...(for us that is 800 miles).

:D

[oldsoldier]

Ah, I think that 6 is ok. I mean, c'mon, we're not young...we all get a break out of the sun! Besides, one of us may drop from heart failure at our age.




Now I'll feel really bad if that does happen...

[FatMan]

Originally posted by oldsoldier
Ah, I think that 6 is ok. I mean, c'mon, we're not young...we all get a break out of the sun! Besides, one of us may drop from heart failure at our age.

Now I'll feel really bad if that does happen...

at LEAST 6 - sheesh we ought to have 7 or 8 if we have any hope of finishing the prelims! I know Phil ain't good for any more than 2 games!

And what about groupies? Anyone out there want to be our groupies? Capo? Grip Gurl? Old guys like us gotta have groupies!

FatMan

[Clare]

Capo? Grip Gurl? Old guys like us gotta have groupies!

old guys have groupies?? since when! :p

[cphilip]

Well I think they were going to another team Walt...but ya know what? Seems like I remember Capo talking about "spankin our behinds" and I was like "ALRIGHT!!!!" but now that I rethink on that...wonder what they meant? :confused:


Anyway yes that was my point exactly. In this heat 2 games and sit maybe two more later...So...

[FatMan]

Originally posted by CaPoEiRa


old guys have groupies?? since when! :p

well ... when they're celebrities and all ... IT COULD HAPPEN! :D

Whatcha say darlin? You'd like to get your picture with Uncle Phil and the FatMan, wouldn't ya?

FatMan

[Temo Vryce]

Dang the way you guys are talking about Beer, Ribs, Beer Guts, Finger Pulling, Old Farts, Leering at young ladys and all. I thought you guys were going to my family reunion this weekend. :eek:

Best of luck guys. I hope yall whump dem whiper snappers but good.

[FatMan]

Originally posted by Temo Vryce
Dang the way you guys are talking about Beer, Ribs, Beer Guts, Finger Pulling, Old Farts, Leering at young ladys and all. I thought you guys were going to my family reunion this weekend. :eek:

Best of luck guys. I hope yall whump dem whiper snappers but good.

Hmm, yer family sounds like fun! Where'd you say yer from? W. Virginia? Arkansas?

Nah, we aren't likely to whup nothing. We're hopin' to use the sympathy factor with our groupies when we loose - that is if we ever get any groupies. :confused:

FatMan

[cphilip]

Hell... all I'm hoping to snag is a free beer and a samich!! :cool:

(psst Walt...they prolly from Alabamer...) :D

[FatMan]

Originally posted by cphilip
Hell... all I'm hoping to snag is a free beer and a samich!! :cool:

(psst Walt...they prolly from Alabamer...) :D

ooooooooooooh. That splanes it!

FatMan

[G-Rexx]

You guys are killing me. And yes, I hurt like a mother the next day, I carry asprin, and on ocassion Tums!!!
My credo is to run towards a sound goal, and that is usually a round of cold ones.
Am I in??? :)

[graycie]

Originally posted by cphilip
Also think it would be a good idea to have a big bag of candy so we can go around to all the Hottie young chicks and say "Want some candy little girl?" and leer at them! :D

/mental note
avoid cphilip while there....

[cphilip]

Sure G Your in if you promise to keep your "game" in your pants!

Gracie...you sound like your a candidate for the team! Want some candy? :D

[G-Rexx]

CPhilip, Fell on my tail laughing!!! I'll bring my own bag o' goodies.

[Temo Vryce]

Originally posted by cphilip
Hell... all I'm hoping to snag is a free beer and a samich!! :cool:

(psst Walt...they prolly from Alabamer...) :D


Heck no!!

I'm from Canada, where men are MEN and the sheep are scared.

[cphilip]

LOL!

Dang I wish you were coming... :D

[845]

You could ask my dad he is 55 and has a big belly.

Willic6398@RCN.com
:D

[FatMan]

Originally posted by 845
You could ask my dad he is 55 and has a big belly.

Willic6398@RCN.com
:D

If he plays paintball then send him on down!

FatMan

[graycie]

Originally posted by cphilip
Gracie...you sound like your a candidate for the team! Want some candy? :D

/cringe
repeats to self "bad man! bad man!"

[Temo Vryce]

Originally posted by cphilip
LOL!

Dang I wish you were coming... :D

I wish I could come too but I can't make and I don't fit the requirements you set forth for the team, well I actually I do fit them but there's a lot of spare room.

Age: 27
Hieght: 6'4"
Wieght: 150lbs (160lbs after a good meal)

I'll have to dig up a picture for you sometime. Actually I think I know where I can get one or two.

[Temo Vryce]

Ok here's proof that I'm a skiny redneck.
Hmm no Image :(

[Temo Vryce]

attempt 2

[FatMan]

Hey Ya'll!

Spank Daddy is announcing that the NJ AO meet will feature the first national appearance of Old-Fart Paintball, with FatMan and Uncle Phil.

Drop on by the cabana to say hi! If you are a girl or a lady, come one by for a piece of candy and a paintball cocktail (complete with little umbrellas). Guys, come by to get a look at the ladies! At lunch time we'll be grillin' up something good - so come on by and you can watch and wish you were as well fed as we are! And if you see a nice fat possum or armadillo on the way to the field, grab it and we'll cook it for ya!

FatMan and Uncle Phil are drivin' up from the deep south, so if there's any southern stuff you need - like grits or boiled peanuts and stuff, let us know and we might bring ya some! We're thinking about bringin' our git-fiddles, so maybe there'll be some pickin' later on!

Remember, when you see FatMan or Uncle Phil, we're not Yankees, so talk slow and don't use big words!

Guess that's all for now - let ya know if anything else comes up.

FatMan

[cphilip]

Old Farts camp is coming together now. Loadin some stuff now. I am just torn between the 5 foot box fan and the 7000 W generator or the smaller fan and the 1700 W generator...hmmmm... :D

The cooler choice was easy...the 120 Quart marine of course.

Think I should bring the 4 wheeler and trailer? Is it gonna be far from the parking to the staging area?

Oh and we wish to invite all the ladies by for coctails and candy! You will have no trouble finding it. It will be obvious!!!!!

Oh shoot! I forgot to even pack the Paintball gear! I may not have room!!!!! ;)

[graycie]

Originally posted by cphilip
Oh and we wish to invite all the ladies by for coctails and candy!

/scared

[dropkick1]

i'll be your groupie, but i can't come to jersey. i'll be in jim thorpe playing the d-day scenario at skirmish with 1400 + people coming.

ken

[cphilip]

Oh look Walt! Ken wants to be a groupie!

(I do not think you have the right "equipment" we are looking for in groupies Ken but thanks...) :rolleyes:

[dropkick1]

haha, i'm not that kinda groupie, i can get your equipment ready or whatever. obviously i don't have that equipment but i'm the best thing u got so far.

ken

[cphilip]

Originally posted by dropkick1
....but i'm the best thing u got so far.

ken


How sadly true... :(

:D

[dropkick1]

oh wait i'm an idiot, i can be a roadie.

ken

[cphilip]

OK KEN! Your our very first "Idiot Roadie"!:D

[FatMan]

Originally posted by dropkick1
i'll be your groupie,
ken

Ken, thanks, but you are not qualifed to be our groupie!

FatMan

[FatMan]

Originally posted by dropkick1
i can get your equipment ready or whatever. obviously i don't have that equipment but i'm the best thing u got so far.
ken

Ken, seriously, we're desperate, but not THAT desperate! And no, I'll take care of my own "equipment"!

FatMan

[FatMan]

Originally posted by dropkick1
oh wait i'm an idiot, i can be a roadie.

ken

OK, roadie you can do! But after the offer of groupie we're a little worried about you!

Ha-ha! LMAOROTF!

Thanks Ken, anyone that big an idiot needs to be hanging with FatMan and Uncle Phil (so we look better)! Ken gets the Old Fart Paintball seal of approval!

FatMan

[dropkick1]

well you defintiley are a dirty old man, but thats cool, we'll all be one eventually.....

ken

[dropkick1]

well i am the village idiot....

ken

[FatMan]

Originally posted by dropkick1
well i am the village idiot....

ken

Haha - its cool! You're a funny guy!

FatMan

[The Frymarker]

I'll be your groupie Fatman!!!!

[Wc Keep]

Originally posted by The Frymarker
I'll be your groupie Fatman!!!!

um i dont know if you know this but nj ao day passed a while ago. plus fatman isnt from nj. plus anyone affiliated with the spankdaddys are pretty much getting a hurting from me.

[virus]

Originally posted by Wc Keep


um i dont know if you know this but nj ao day passed a while ago.

ya know thats what i thought also.... unless another is being planed... and after that long arse trip out to shatnerball... i think i can handle drivin to jersey... esp if another one is being setup.... but first i need to worry about the NE AOday next weekend......


so fatman and phil.... i'll break in oldsoldier for ya.... if he is still going to the NE day.... been a while sence i got to shoot him... so it should be fun.... that is if my back holds out =)