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ronron2112
07-03-2002, 10:19 PM
i got these off of www.airsmith.com , and found them rather amusing :)

1. You are not a superman
2. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
3. Don't look conspicuous - it draws fire.
4. When in doubt, empty your hopper
5. Never defend a bunker with someone braver than you are.
6. Never forget that your paintgun is dependant on O-rings.
7. If your assault is going well, it's an ambush.
8. No plan survives the first contact intact.
9. All five second paint grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.
10. Try to look unimportant because the other team may be low on paint.
11. If you are forward of your position, you're on your own.
12. The other team's diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
13. The important things are always simple.
14. The simple things are always hard.
15. The easy way is always covered with RT's. (haha)
16. If you are short of everything except opponents, the game has begun.
17. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the other team.
18. Incoming paintballs have the right of way.
19. Friendly fire -- isn't.
20. If your opponents are in range, "SO ARE YOU!!!!"
21. No tournament ready team ever thought they carried enough paint.
22. Beer math is: two beers times 37 men = 49 cases.
23. Top Gun math is: three newbies plus one flag plus two veterans = 14 eliminations.
24. Things that must be together to work are usually left at home.
25. Radio's will fail as soon as you need a field judge desperately.
26. Anything you do can get you eliminated, including doing nothing.
27. Trracers work both ways.
28. The only thing more accurate than incoming opponent fire is incoming friendly fire.
29. Make it tough for your opponent to get in and you can't get out.
30. If you take more than your fair share of flags, you will have more than your fair share of
flags to take.
31. When both teams are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
32. Professional paintballers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs
33. Murphy was a paintball player.

TransMan
07-03-2002, 10:36 PM
lol those are funny i have to print this out and show it to my dad

Clare
07-03-2002, 11:33 PM
there's also these (a lot of them are similar but I'm too lazy to take them out!)

Strategies fail when the enemy is seen.

Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo, or short on time.

NEVER share a bunker with anyone braver than yourself.

Discretion is the better part of valor. Retreat is the better part of discretion.

The enemy will only attack on two occasions: when they're ready and when you're not.

Make it hard for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

No matter how much you carry, you'll always run out of something. COROLLARY: You'll always need what you don't have.

There are only two times when you can get eliminated during a game: when you're alone, and when you're with someone else.

Friendly fire isn't.

Your paintballs will bounce on him, his paintballs will break on you.

The amount of cover you have in front of you is directly proportional to the chances of someone coming up behind you.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Any plan, when explained by the team leader, will have as many different interpretations as there are players who have heard it. COROLLARY: No plan survives Initial Contact.

No matter how good you are, when your luck runs out you're road pizza!

There is always someone better, faster, and younger than you.

Professionals are predictable; it's the AMATEURS who are dangerous.

When you think that no one would be foolish enough to hide behind a particular object, a person will shoot at you from behind it.

All things being equal, you really don't have a snowball's chance in hell.

When the enemy is in range, so are you.

The number of players you have with you, in a no-win situation, is directly proportional to the number of stupid ideas you will hear to get yourselves out of the situation.

When in doubt, shoot it out.

Never assume ANYTHING.

If something doesn't look like it belongs there? It doesn't, Shoot it!

Murphy was an optimist

oldsoldier
07-04-2002, 05:20 AM
Ah, there are actually Murphys Laws of Combat, just reworded. Doesnt make it any less funny though.:D


Oh, BTW, Murphy was a Grunt.;)

ronron2112
07-04-2002, 10:46 AM
Man this Murphy guy gets around, huh? Although ive never seen someone who plays paintball, is a grunt, AND is an optimist!:rolleyes:

ShinyGuy
07-04-2002, 02:24 PM
Originally posted by oldsoldier
Oh, BTW, Murphy was a Grunt.;)

Actually Murphy was a maintainence tech on UH-1s. I believe the only one of Murphy's law he is responsible for is "whatever can go wrong will". He was not a cynic. His philosophy was that it was his job to make sure NOTHING could go wrong.

tranman
07-04-2002, 09:30 PM
Heres one i experienced, your team captain tells you to check your safety is off and revy is on right before the break...you make it to your bunker see a guy right in front of you, perfect clear shot, pull the trigger and your safety is on after you thought you checked it.

BTAutoMag
07-04-2002, 10:03 PM
here's my three


when you have a perfect shot... so does someone you didnt know was there.

when you throw a grenade and it doesnt explode... expect to see it again.

you will never see the guy with the warpfeed until youre on the way to the dead box:D

BTAutoMag
07-04-2002, 10:06 PM
and murphy was a midget