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View Full Version : Should there be a Univeral Remote, and who should control it?


Timmee
03-05-2003, 05:08 PM
If it were possible, should there be a Universal Remote, and who would be wise enough to weild it? The Universal Remote would have buttons like "Get a life", "Get a clue", and "Shut the *insert your favorite word here* up".

I feel that I'd be wise enough to control the Universal Remote. I'd only use it for good, and never with malice. Of course, my first target would be Carrot Top, and those Twix commercials.

Come to think of it, I might need 3 of each button (to prevent a function from failing due to overuse). :D











**Disclaimer** This was meant as a way to reduce frustration due to dealing with idiocy. Your comments, however are appreciated.
Koosh
03-05-2003, 05:31 PM
ugh... don't get me started on Carrot Top.

I swear, if I only had a gun and two bullets in the world, one bullet would go into Osama bin Laden, and one... no wait, they Both would go into Carrot Top...
Jonneh
03-05-2003, 05:45 PM
Originally posted by Timmee
If it were possible, should there be a Universal Remote, and who would be wise enough to weild it? The Universal Remote would have buttons like "Get a life", "Get a clue", and "Shut the *insert your favorite word here* up".

Blah Blah Blah

**Disclaimer** This was meant as a way to reduce frustration due to dealing with idiocy. Your comments, however are appreciated.
Shut the clown up!

That didn't sound how I wanted it to :[
joeyjoe367
03-05-2003, 08:33 PM
Could we add an "Invoke Wrath of God" button too?

If I had one, I'd click on Jesse Jackson, Michael Jackson... Hmm... Carrot Top was a good Choice.. oh! Rosie O'Donald, Tree Huggers... Just about all Politicians... aaannndd......

Anyone who says any paintball gun shoots farther or is more accurate :)

*edit* Oh, and I think I'm qualified to use the Universal Remote. My intellect has to be at least 4 times the average human being because I can program a VCR. I would ALWAYS use it with malice, to persecute the stupid, and uplift intelligence.
FordPrefect
03-05-2003, 09:41 PM
You need a "smite" button, for sure.
LittMag
03-05-2003, 09:47 PM
Originally posted by TheFlamingKoosh
ugh... don't get me started on Carrot Top.

I swear, if I only had a gun and two bullets in the world, one bullet would go into Osama bin Laden, and one... no wait, they Both would go into Carrot Top...

I hear you, I was in Vegas when Carrot Top was performing... I was seriously going to buy a ticket to his show then give him a piece of my mind, fist and foot... but the Craps table picked me up. Threw me across the room to the BlackJack table which procceded to beat the living hell out of me and my wallet =P
daveymag
03-06-2003, 12:34 AM
I think that the only man worthy or weilding such a powerful weapon is Ted Nugent. God bless that man.
Timmee
03-06-2003, 11:12 AM
Well, a "Wrath of God" or "Smite" button would be fun as well, but I think I could keep myself amused with the fast forward, rewind, and stop buttons too. :D


Oh, and I agree about using the Universal Remote on anyone who argues range/trajectory in the face of physics.
ShooterJM
03-06-2003, 01:23 PM
I'd pay a lot of money just for a mute or pause button!
Timmee
03-08-2003, 10:47 AM
Hm, just came up with a new button for the Universal Remote. It's name is the "Get a Spine" button. My first target with this new button would be France. Next would be my friend who can't do anything without the express written consent of his wife.
joeyjoe367
03-08-2003, 02:38 PM
I think the rewind button would be pretty helpful. Screw up on a test? Shoulda studied? REWIND!

a "Cancel" button would be good for television shows too.

Survivor? CANCELED
The View? CANCELED
Married by America? CANCELED

hehe :)
FooTemps
03-08-2003, 03:34 PM
ooo! great idea joey!
FalconGuy016
03-08-2003, 05:55 PM
who is carrot top?
Timmee
03-08-2003, 06:43 PM
Originally posted by FalconGuy016
who is carrot top?

He is an annoying comedian with red hair, who also does those 1-800-call-att comercials. His voice is irritating, and I would remove him from my view with the Universal Remote.
joeyjoe367
03-08-2003, 07:31 PM
Originally posted by Timmee


He is an annoying comedian with red hair, who also does those 1-800-call-att comercials. His voice is irritating, and I would remove him from my view with the Universal Remote.

From existance would be better, IMO.
I_am_the_cheese
03-09-2003, 12:19 AM
only one person is special enough to have this remote GARY COLEMAN
joeyjoe367
03-09-2003, 04:56 AM
No way, he's a migit. I say give it to the French. I would then get a plane ticket over there. As I set foot on their country, they would immediatly surrender putting the universal remote in my control!

heheh!
FooTemps
03-09-2003, 06:23 AM
joey... i'd beat you there... BUT, i'd let you get it if you let me use the sleep, pause, and "super-genius" buttons...
Timmee
03-09-2003, 08:25 PM
Originally posted by joeyjoe367


From existance would be better, IMO.

But you could have more fun if he still existed (to toy with every now and again with the Universal Remote). :D