Paintball Poem

[FeelTheRT]

The dim sunlight in the morning is adjusting eyes like putting a guitar in tune. Once and ear-poping whistle sharply screeches through the cool thick breeze, it's time to show your skills by making the first aggressive srpint to the front line without being marked with paint. Once you have successfully proclaimed your rightfully owned position, there is a "waiting for the bomb to drop" feeling that someone from the opposing team might fire an intese stinging paintball on you. After the flag has been grabbed, there is a sudden relief, and hopping that it won't be taken away. There is a beam of glory that shines on the victorious team.

[MagMan5446]

That would be good if I knew where a line ended. Press enter.

[Desega]

:ninja: :confused: :ninja:

[NotKai]

That was the stupidest poem of all time.

[Lenny]

That would be good if I knew where a line ended. Press enter.
Poems don't always have to be written in prose. ;)
I've written many that way.

It's pretty good. Nice word usage. What type of feeling were you trying to invoke? Rythms? Patterns? Not bad, though.

[Desega]

HAHA! Check the post date on the top of the thread! I secretly resurected it! :clap:

[Dubstar112]

Hah. Feely left sometime ago and then came back. I doubt he will see this; instigate.

[bentothejam1n]

sounds like something from apg
woah
its from 01

[jenarelJAM]

It might be an alright poem, but I can't get past the typos. Typos don't normally bother me, but in poetry, they really disrupt and confuse the meaning of the poem.

[NotKai]

It might be an alright poem...

And that's where you've lost me.

[jenarelJAM]

Poems don't always have to be written in prose. ;)
I've written many that way.

It's pretty good. Nice word usage. What type of feeling were you trying to invoke? Rythms? Patterns? Not bad, though.
I was acknowledging Lenny's opinion. Personally, I can't get past the typos, or the fact that it doesn't break lines, or really even seem cohesive... But that's just me. It could really strike a chord with Lenny. Poetry is like that.

/I'm not being sarcastic. Poetry really is like that...

[Lenny]

HAHA! Check the post date on the top of the thread! I secretly resurected it! :clap:
Woah. '01!?!?!? He hasn't even been on since November.

[NotKai]

I was acknowledging Lenny's opinion. Personally, I can't get past the typos, or the fact that it doesn't break lines, or really even seem cohesive... But that's just me. It could really strike a chord with Lenny. Poetry is like that.

/I'm not being sarcastic. Poetry really is like that...

Yeah, but that only goes so far.

There is good poetry, and there is so-so poetry, and there is terrible poetry.

This is terrible poetry.

Even if idiot Lenny thinks it is neat.

[Lenny]

Yeah, but that only goes so far.

There is good poetry, and there is so-so poetry, and there is terrible poetry.

This is terrible poetry.

Even if idiot Lenny thinks it is neat.
Hey! I was just looking at it from an artist point of view! Not necessarily a readers! He obviously thinks it's good despite our own opinions, so why beat it into the ground?

I forgot that made me an idiot... :mad:

[Desega]

It's alright Lenny, as an english minor I can also appreciate the poetic aspects of it. I got your back

[NotKai]

It's alright Lenny, as an english minor I can also appreciate the poetic aspects of it. I got your back

What's with the recent wave of retarded English majors?

The poem is so obviously bad; quit trying to defend his 'artistic freedoms.'

[Lenny]

What's with the recent wave of retarded English majors?

The poem is so obviously bad; quit trying to defend his 'artistic freedoms.'
Then you quit trying to be a douche.

[jenarelJAM]

I said it before and I'll say it again. Poetry is like that. Some people like it, some people hate it. Some people can't get past non-rhyming, some people think rhyming is cheap. Every person who writes poetry and thinks it's good enough to put up in public deserves at least the respect not to bash it down. I don't personally care for it, but I can appreciate that it meant something to FeelTheRT, and will defend him, in his absence, against those who don't respect it.

[turbo chicken]

the paintball poem shurely stunk ... it opened my eyes to another vision ... with everyone toting gear in trunks ... ready to go on their next mission ... forget the flag just fire away ... tag the opposing on the field this day ... send them back to staging ... especially the old and aging ... they say old school is better ... but i fear the latter ... my super upped ion puts out 50gajillion balls lots of splatter ...

"oldschool pops in"
my mag is steel and takes a beating ... lets play this next game and see who is gleaming ... your ion is plastic pathetic and sad ... you will learn a lesson this next game you will ... and learn that the oldschool have more skill ... the younguns got in there positions...waiting for olschool unaware of his mission ...but it started raining ... and the electros began to spark and sputter ... then all of a sudden they heard a loud shutter ... oldschool was shooting from the rear ... the ion toters began to clear... they ran away right into a trap ... the ambush was successful and the game was a rap ... :headbang:

that's all I got ... and it's time to leave work ... maybe ill add more tonight... later :cheers:

anyone want to do one more verse to close it ... it feels unfinished ... more smack talk needs to happen ... :dance:

[Lenny]

the paintball poem shurely stunk ... it opened my eyes to another vision ... with everyone toting gear in trunks ... ready to go on their next mission ... forget the flag just fire away ... tag the opposing on the field this day ... send them back to staging ... especially the old and aging ... they say old school is better ... but i fear the latter ... my super upped ion puts out 50gajillion balls lots of splatter ...

"oldschool pops in"
my mag is steel and takes a beating ... lets play this next game and see who is gleaming ... your ion is plastic pathetic and sad ... you will learn a lesson this next game you will ... and learn that the oldschool have more skill ... the younguns got in there positions...waiting for olschool unaware of his mission ...but it started raining ... and the electros began to spark and sputter ... then all of a sudden they heard a loud shutter ... oldschool was shooting from the rear ... the ion toters began to clear... they ran away right into a trap ... the ambush was successful and the game was a rap ... :headbang:

that's all I got ... and it's time to leave work ... maybe ill add more tonight... later :cheers:

anyone want to do one more verse to close it ... it feels unfinished ... more smack talk needs to happen ... :dance:
:wow:

Pure skill.

[turbo chicken]

the game is over the youngins in staging ... old school walking off the field after guns ablazing ... we should have known that old school had skills ... field craft so good that he never stands still ...he's been playing since the 80's... they should have considered the 15+ years of expierence ... and just been quitters ... younguns knew in their hearts ...that oldschool had their number ... cause in the distance they had heard the thunder ... but too proud to admit that their uber updded ions couldn't work in the rain... they took the field anyways and they felt the pain ...

oldschool + mech was better this day ... and the younguns were fianlly shown the way ...

[Desega]

Turbo Chicken, that was beautiful. :cry:

[jenarelJAM]

Sorry Turbo, but I liked FeelTheRT's better. He at least put it up because it meant something to him. You put yours up to show him up.

Besides, it has a sort of... rap-esque... sound. At least to me. And I don't really think of Rap as poetry. Rap is just stuff that rhymes, simply for the sake of rhyming. There's more to poetry than rhyming. Rhyming actually has a purpose in poetry, not just to sound good, but to explain a specific meaning depending on the poem's context.

[turbo chicken]

Sorry Turbo, but I liked FeelTheRT's better. He at least put it up because it meant something to him. You put yours up to show him up.

Besides, it has a sort of... rap-esque... sound. At least to me. And I don't really think of Rap as poetry. Rap is just stuff that rhymes, simply for the sake of rhyming. There's more to poetry than rhyming. Rhyming actually has a purpose in poetry, not just to sound good, but to explain a specific meaning depending on the poem's context.

too deep for me ... i just decided to do my own ... and not to show someone up ... just cause the mood striked me ... and no I didn't really get his poem then again i don't really get many anyways ...

I was just passing the time while i was at work ...

[Desega]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
PAintballs the shiz
And DM is poo. <img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/5/5_3_1.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0">

[Desega]

What's with the recent wave of retarded English majors?

The poem is so obviously bad; quit trying to defend his 'artistic freedoms.'

PS Notki toki, I said english minor, I'm a psychology major, which is why I can see that you are obviously a tard.

[paintballfiend]

I plays the paintball wif a gun
I makes it to the 50 wif a run
I shoots da bulets at yo face
Paint gets in yo eyes, feel like mace
Pop one bulets on yo pants
Yo team got P0w3d like lil ants
But u wipe cuz you so agg
An say I suk cuz I roc a mag
Then yous get one in teh balls
Cuz that wa we do on AO dog
So next time show a little manners
Because skill and accuracy are all that matters...

[jenarelJAM]

too deep for me ... i just decided to do my own ... and not to show someone up ... just cause the mood striked me ... and no I didn't really get his poem then again i don't really get many anyways ...

I was just passing the time while i was at work ...
Alright, I apologize.

[NotKai]

PS Notki toki, I said english minor, I'm a psychology major, which is why I can see that you are obviously a tard.

Obviously!!!!!! Your powers of psychology are too strong for me!

[neppo1345]

My poem:

d
i
e

/whatcha think?