Fishing Stories

[Miscue]

Is it just me, or do a lot of paintball players have "fishing" stories. I bet a large percentage of what is said cannot be backed up... but I suppose it's all in good fun.

Classic Fishing Story #1:

"I kept taking out like 6 guys in every game last weekend."

Translation: Mrs. Taylor took her kids and their friends to play paintball because that's what Jimmy wanted for his 10th birthday.

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Classic Fishing Story #2:

"This guy was SO good! He took out all 3 of us in a 3v1 like 4 out of 5 times."

Translation: We really suck.

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Classic Fishing Story #3:

"I got a loader X because I was outshooting my revy. Even my little brother can outshoot a revy."

Translation: This is what I tell myself to justify my purchase of a loader X.

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Classic Fishing Story #4:

"I owned gun X and it sucked."

Translation: I never really owned gun X, I'm just saying that so I don't sound biased - and then I can convince you to buy the same gun the shop guy convinced me to buy.

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Classic Fishing Story #5:

"I can walk the trigger over 20bps."

Translation: The wonderful thing about triggers, is triggers are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber, their bottoms are made out of spring. They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, fun fun fun fun fun.

[JEDI]

You thought of that last trigger part, and some how needed to turn it into a thread... didnt you? :D Well, very creative. I give you an A. :)

[Miscue]

No... it was an after-thought and I editted it in. :p

[cphilip]

The first person to deny that is not all true is a Pooh! :D

[Spaceman613]

You forgot...

I walked the trigger and outshot my rev, I was hitting 18-20 bps consistantly... The guy at the field clocked me doing it.

Translation: My batteries were dead, and my slow hot dog-like fingers were pushing the 4bps mark.

[Python14]

I bunkered him....

Translation: He shot me and I shot back but missed.

Seriously though, I've heard more fishing stories than I've heard my own name...It's both sad and unbarebly funny. Sometimes I have to get kidney surgery to stop the pain I get from laughing so hard when I hear people say some things.

[the123]

Classic Fishing Story #6:

"I bunkered Ollie Lang"

Translation:

I went to go bunker Ollie but got hit 20 times trying, so I continued to play on and shot him.

[Creative Mayhem]

LOL!! I too have heard my share of stories.

There were 3 of us on 40 of them, and we killed them all then bunkered the refs.

Tanslation: They wiped themselves off and the refs banned them from the field for cheating.


CM

[snoogans]

fishing story #7:

"I would've gotten him/her if I had more paint!"

translation: I shot all my paint so i could call myself out and save the embarrassment of being bunkered.:)

[Kai]

Originally posted by Creative Mayhem
...then bunkered the refs.


Ahahah.

That is great.

[sneakyhacker420]

Ref: Hey! Put your mask back on!!!
Player: Oops! I forgot, sorry, it won't happen again

translation:
I was too busy filling my hopper during orientation to listen to the rules :rolleyes:

[Pacifist_Farmer]

you know those of us that ref have the best stories about people, unfortunately they are all true.......

[sneakyhacker420]

yeah... i hear my fair share of BS comming from the first-timers at my field


heres another good one!... and its true like the other one i just said



i got hit like 20 times in the chest and it hurt like a b-word!

translation:

i got shot on the hopper and wanted to tell my friends a cool battle story :rolleyes:

[Ov3rmind]

You can always find the real number of people a person eliminated during a game by taking the number they said they shot and dividing it by three.

[sneakyhacker420]

i was the last one left on my team and there were 3 left on the other team... i made the flag pull but got shot

teanslation:

i lost the game




this really isnt a story, but its a common occurence at my field with newcommers... they are the last person left in the game, they take the flag, run it back to their starting point, only to find out they have to run to the OTHER side of the field and hang it in the opposite teams starting point :rolleyes:

[snoogans]

yeah sneaky, BFG gets a lot of people like the orientation skipper. its like an idiotic newbie magnet of some sort:rolleyes: Scott k's been kicked out twice, lol once he walked off the field, took off his mask, but he didn't have his barrel sock on so the ref pushed him back onto the field to put it on, then scott went back in without his mask on! he was the laughing stock of BFG for like atleast a week, the refs told everyone. lol:p

[Pacifist_Farmer]

I like to find the last guy on a team when hes cowering behind a bunker, usually for the extent of the game and then hang out next to him

later when his friends are standing around talking about how they at least died with dignity, i stand right next to him and wait for him to tell the fishing story :)

then i correct him :)

I only do that to the *place between your upperthighs and your lower back*holes

[Lord_Whoopass]

Yeah the best fishing story I have ever heard comes from BFG as well... I was at a tourny there and we were talking about how you could slide really far on the field... then this lil twelve year old kid came up to us and said that in a rec game he slide almost the whole length of the field and got all but 2 of the guys on the other team out while sliding....

Here is my translation: The kid ran and slipped, fell and slid pretty far and got lit up... and there were 2 guys left when his team got beat...

[karphead]

Most common story in all of paintball...

"I was about to [insert insane move to eliminate entire other team here]...but then I got lit up"

[Tunaman]

These are not "FISH" stories...they are "Bull" stories. Lay off the fish jokes before I smack ya!:mad: :D ;)

[Miscue]

Classic Fishing Story #8:

"I am a tournament player."

Translation: I have a shiny electro, lots of stickers, brand names all over me, and a doo rag. The 12 year old recball players think I'm cool.

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Classic Fishing Story #9:

"I suck."

Translation: I can whoop 98% of you soundly, but there's that 2%.

[RRfireblade]

Not a story but some COMMON and annoying phrases...

I chopped w/ my Rev so I MUST be shooting 12-13 bps.

I can shoot 20bps consitantly I just don't shoot that fast in a game.

That's not a break,that ball bounced and then broke on the bunker and then splattered on me.

My guns cronoed at 280fps 'cause it looks the same speed as my friends who cronoed his 2 weeks ago.

I'm sponsered.(Therefore I'm special)

I'm captain of a team.(Therefore I'm good)

That's enuff for now.....


Jay.

[magmasta1234]

Miscue u caught me really i dont even have a little bro. haha, i wish i did. it was fun saying that though. :rolleyes: so thanks for the embarisment hahahahahahaha:cool:

[magmasta1234]

thats about the little brother outshooting a revy. I just wanna support my Egg 2. haha

[magmasta1234]

Sorry all:eek:

[Miscue]

Haha. It was your post that made me think about the fishing stories in the first place. ;)

[Miscue]

Originally posted by Tunaman
These are not "FISH" stories...they are "Bull" stories. Lay off the fish jokes before I smack ya!:mad: :D ;)

What's the difference? :D

[personman]

'I would move more but my pack keeps falling off'
Translation: I suck

lolololol I sure hope paintballer20 doesnt see this, he would kick my arse

[elpimpo]

Originally posted by Ov3rmind
You can always find the real number of people a person eliminated during a game by taking the number they said they shot and dividing it by three.


ahh the rule of 3

[FooTemps]

Originally posted by elpimpo



ahh the rule of 3

lol, the rule of 3 dictates that I shot out one or an uncertain amount of people. lol, I suck... I always move on before I know the person is out... I'm stupid like that, if I don't get them I'm screwed. lol

translation: I shoot at a person and then shoot at the next person without checking if I eliminated the first person.

translation of the translation: I'm too careless to double check.

translation of translation of translation: I really suck at finishing the job.

[sneakyhacker420]

Originally posted by Tunaman
These are not "FISH" stories...they are "Bull" stories. Lay off the fish jokes before I smack ya!:mad: :D ;)


Once upon a time, there was a little Tuna who... :p

[845]

Story: Once me and my friends use quads and we shot each other and it was so much fun,

Truth: I have never played paintball i am just saying this to make you think i am a 1337 baller but i am really just a newb with a stingray ice and i shoot trees in my backyard with BE paint i bought at walmart. I also probably own an 18" barrel.

[FreakBaller12]

i am a sniper look at my 21 inch barrel and big scope
translation: i like to hide and pretend i am good.. i hide b/c i am a newb and scared it migth hurt:(

[banzaimf]

I don't like speedball because there are no tactics/ I prefer rec ball cause I am a sniper.

Translation. I cower with the best!

[FalconGuy016]

Originally posted by karphead
Most common story in all of paintball...

"I was about to [insert insane move to elimate entire other team here]...but then I got lit up"

Hey hey, but thats actually happened with me! I swear :)

[magking1971]

"I almost had you but I got hit"
Translation-"I suck and had no idea where you were on the field and got hit because I hung my arse so far out of the bunker a drunk blind person could not miss me"

[JEDI]

Originally posted by Tunaman
These are not "FISH" stories...they are "Bull" stories. Lay off the fish jokes before I smack ya!:mad: :D ;)

Hey Tuna; I've got a fish story for ya. I'm a slacker bass fisher. I went out early june on Monksville resevoir, in North Jersey. This lake holds the state record for Muskey.(somewhere in the 45" range) My bro and I were fishing for muskey.

Long story short, at about 8am I had a huge musky chase my bucktail for about 10-15 yards, and then blow past to my brothers bate and BAM! It fought for maybe (what seemed like an hour), he got it near the boat, and my job was to land the F'er with a cradle net? This fish was about 36". No small task! When all was said and done, the boat was a wreck. Our <B>*POOF*</B> was turned upside down, and an inch layer of slime covered every object that came in contact with the fish. And I thought the hard part was getting them to bite.

Needless to say, I haven't been Bass fishing since, and all my lures weigh a half a pound.
Sorry Tuna, no saltwater here, but I thought you'd appreciate it.

<B>*Warning: No Cussing*</B> -Miscue

[Fuji]

"Man I just got stitched by like 40 frozen paintballs!"

Translation:
This was the first time I got bunkered.

(Granted some a-holes freeze paint. Though it's a little hard to believe it's staying frozen long in AZ 110* weather.)

"That guy must be a pro"

Translation:
Just because some turd can fan his IR3 (10-12 bps) and wears a jersey during REC BALL, does NOT mean he has any skill.

"That guy sucks, he always walks up to his bunker in the beginning of the game"

Translation:
No, I walk because. 1) I am shooting lanes, and watching the break. 2) I see no need to run in 110* weather. (I am not trying to get heatstroke)

[dinger]

i think that Fuji has got it made with those lmao:D :D :D

[Nick O time]

Story:
It was my first time playing, and I shot out like everyone except for three people, then i got bunkered and it hurt.

Translation:
I cried:D cuz i got lit up, because the 3 guys remaining play on the same team in NPPL events and stuff .

Story:
I could have shot him out but i was out of paint and he came up on my blind side.

Translation:
I got bunkered by a guy playing with a pump and i had no clue where he was.

[Fuji]

On that note. My friends father is a little *cough* large Anywho, people kept ignoring him as he "walked his way" down the tape. That is until he bunkered them. Fools that they were, they thought he was out and walking off the field. OMG it was so freaking hilarious watching a 45+ year old guy walk down the field with his PVI and bunker the whole left tape!

[adam shannon]

Originally posted by the123
Classic Fishing Story #6:

"I bunkered Ollie Lang"



theres a guy on the bushwhackers whos telling that tale....unfortunately for him its true and the ref blew the call...ushering dynasty into the finals.

[Tunaman]

Originally posted by JEDI


Hey Tuna; I've got a fish story for ya. I'm a slacker bass fisher. I went out early june on Monksville resevoir, in North Jersey. This lake holds the state record for Muskey.(somewhere in the 45" range) My bro and I were fishing for muskey.

Long story short, at about 8am I had a huge musky chase my bucktail for about 10-15 yards, and then blow past to my brothers bate and BAM! It fought for maybe (what seemed like an hour), he got it near the boat, and my job was to land the F'er with a cradle net? This fish was about 36". No small task! When all was said and done, the boat was a wreck. Our <B>*POOF*</B> was turned upside down, and an inch layer of slime covered every object that came in contact with the fish. And I thought the hard part was getting them to bite.

Needless to say, I haven't been Bass fishing since, and all my lures weigh a half a pound.
Sorry Tuna, no saltwater here, but I thought you'd appreciate it.

<B>*Warning: No Cussing*</B> -Miscue Just a little bit of relevent info: There are 3 species of fish that will intentionally make a last ditch effort to bite you while lying dying on the deck.
1- Bluefish
2-Mako shark
3-Musky
Be very careful with these fish. I have witnessed all three taking a shot at a human.;)

[Timmee]

Originally posted by Tunaman
Just a little bit of relevent info: There are 3 species of fish that will intentionally make a last ditch effort to bite you while lying dying on the deck.
1- Bluefish
2-Mako shark
3-Musky
Be very careful with these fish. I have witnessed all three taking a shot at a human.;)

Yeah, I've almost been nipped by a Bluefish. A 44" Bluefish! ;)

[dinger]

me: ... yea so then my friend goes and buys a 1400$ gun.
cousin: what the heck is that much?!
me: well every heard of an X-Mag?
cousin: ....... ummm i think so... yea..


::TRUTH::
he thinks his m98 is the bomb, and has more than likely NEVER heard of any type of mag [considering hes only played paintball twice.. hehe] http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/chicken.gif

[JEDI]

Originally posted by Tunaman
Just a little bit of relevent info: There are 3 species of fish that will intentionally make a last ditch effort to bite you while lying dying on the deck.
1- Bluefish
2-Mako shark
3-Musky
Be very careful with these fish. I have witnessed all three taking a shot at a human.;)

:eek: Wow, thats a good one to know. Thanks for the heads up Tuna.

[dinger]

tuna is my favorite fish :o , well other than salmon