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Thread: Just turned 30, unsure of my future, looking for advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
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    IL
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    Just turned 30, unsure of my future, looking for advice

    Dear AO Community,

    I work as a land surveyor and make good money but don't see myself doing this the rest of my life. My main complaint about this job is the isolation. I find myself constantly alone in the field and when I return home I have no interest in interacting with others as I'm burnt out and want to me left alone to recover for my next trip into a poison oak infested property. I hold no college degree but have a background in civil engineering. (I'm a straight A student in math and physics but an utter failure in everything else with the exception of English.) In order to control my recent feelings of depression I've turned to abusing psycho stimulants off prescription. This is not a cry for help and at this moment I feel very much in control of my choices but don't see myself being able to continue this lifestyle much further into the future. Anyone advice would be appreciated.

    Warmest Regards,
    Dennis

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Central Texas
    Posts
    449
    Hey Dennis,

    As sufferer of anxieties, I too had isolated myself. I'd go to work and come home. This past January I became depressed and realized I also had an addiction that wasn't drugs or alcohol, but still an addiction that helped fill that void of social interaction. I had a wakeup call. Felt like God was finally shaking me and waking me up to my problems that I kept denying. I don't know your religious beliefs, this is just a testimony of hope. I was tired and anxious too. But after hearing a sermon soon after feeling depressed and then getting hooked up with a sunday school group, I started feeling apart of something. I did start seeing my doctor and therapist that helps with things. I'm on two medicines. I still have moments but from January to now there's been a big difference in how I feel so much better. I'd say try to get connected or just spend a little time with people even if you're tired. Push yourself a bit to try. There is hope bud and it will take effort and time. I'm 32. Gotta get you plenty of rest too.
    Last edited by jbtamu1011; 07-03-2019 at 06:00 AM.

  3. #3
    I switched careers 6 months ago. Learn SQL and look for business analyst positions or whatever interests you. Back in a different healthier mindset after 10 years of wanting change and a second failed attempt at my engineering degree.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    WV
    Posts
    392
    You should force yourself to become a part of some group that gets together weekly...book club, exercise group, church gathering...whatever you enjoy and is available. Feeling as part of a group and getting interaction with others is important.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
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    Inception Designs HQ
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    Having dealt with depression with a loved one, there is no cure, there is no magic pill, there is no snap of the fingers. The isolation does not help as it lets all those dark thoughts creep out from the hidden spaces.

    Go to a doctor, go to a psychiatrist, see a professional, just to actively speak(not write) help. As good as the internet can be, you are still doing it from a place of isolation. Even if it is a change of meds, or new ones, if you aren't already on them. Self prescribing and self medicating is not the best thing.

    As for your job, look for a lateral move within the company. If that isn't available, put a resume out in the world. Even if its to a new company, but the same job, a fresh start in a new place may be good. But change what you can. Even seeing some job center hack, about new job prospects, just to see how far you can go with what you have. You are already recognizing that you are on the precipice of a downward spiral, which is great, but doing nothing but talking on the internet is not doing much.

    So go out, seek professional help, see about switching jobs, and physically talk to someone.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Jeet yet ?
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    8,132
    Play paintball, often.

    Break out of the norm, make some new friends at the field.

    Also the best way to help yourself is to help others.

    There are always kids at the field that appreciate someone showing them the ins and outs.


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    862
    I feel your pain, I'm sure many of us have been there. I'm kind of the same way when I get off of work too. I got prescribed anti-anxiety/anti-depressants, they helped, but had some really ****ty side affects that I felt were worse than what they were supposed to treat, so I occasionally used alcohol instead.

    But to your situation...maybe take the step to go back to school and get a civil engineering degree to move your career forward, if that's what interests you. If you're good at math, any of the STEM fields can really open up some opportunities that'll play to your strengths, if you're patient enough to do the 4 years.

    Or go on Indeed.com/Monster.com and just see what kind of jobs are out there that interest you. If you're not afraid to move for a good opportunity, maybe thats what you need...A nice change of scenery might help (or hurt, depends on the person) your situation. Or maybe simply getting a job that doesn't leave you feeling so isolated and drained is the simplest solution....unfortunately, finding that "perfect" fit is something only you can really figure out. Either way, getting your resume out there for the headhunters to find can't hurt.

    Finally, like has already been said, paintball more, or try different fields. Get out there, laugh with people. Interact, relax and shoot the **** with some like minded people. That helped me greatly and is how I met most of my post-military friends.

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    Apologies for the late reply but I'd like to thank all of you for the advice. You all have helped bring me out of a dark and lonely place. It's a good feeling to know I'm not alone. Happy holidays all!

  9. #9
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuiciDal Sn Y p ER View Post
    Apologies for the late reply but I'd like to thank all of you for the advice. You all have helped bring me out of a dark and lonely place. It's a good feeling to know I'm not alone. Happy holidays all!
    Well, its nice to see you are still alive(half joking), but care to update on your wellbeing?

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    IL
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nobody View Post
    Well, its nice to see you are still alive(half joking), but care to update on your wellbeing?
    https://youtu.be/gfh7NBIh4hg

    Edit: My wellbeing... This feels dirty.
    Last edited by SuiciDal Sn Y p ER; 05-02-2020 at 06:15 AM.

  11. #11
    Um....really?.......they just totaled an awesome camaro! Are they lunatics?!

  12. #12
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    IL
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magoman View Post
    Um....really?.......they just totaled an awesome camaro! Are they lunatics?!
    I'm sure the Germans were behind this atrocity.

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