ARG!!! ANOTHER Parents & Paintball...

[FatMan]

FooTemps,

I have to agree with Additude and Scrambler. There is more going on here than meets the eye. Do your parents have something against paintball, or would they react the same if you wanted to go play soccer?

An important thing to remember is that paintball has a bad image. Many parents think if their kid is into paintball he's going to end up doing a "Columbine" (sp?) or something. You have to educate them - and you have to do it in a way that works. First off, reacting with anger only reinforces the sterotype! You have to show them you are responsible, you are NOT a gun nut, you are going out there to learn leadership, responsibility, and healthy athletic competition.

Next you have to earn their support - as has been pointed out you should have chores, you should participate in earning the money to play, you SHOULD arrange other rides sometimes so it isn't ALWAYS your parent's turn to drive. You have to be keeping up with your school and other stuff (sounds like you're already doing that).

Finally, you've got to talk to them. You've got to ask them what their concerns are and consider their answers rationally - no matter how wrong or unfair they may seem. Try to clear up their misconceptions. Try to compromise with their conflicting goals. Impress them that you are dealing with them as an adult.

Its a two-way street, dude, and you are stepping up to the ways of an adult. Your parents are confused and conerned. If they weren't they wouldn't care WHAT you do. They are reacting to your behavior and a good dose of media hype. You are going to have to address BOTH to change things.

Responsibility begins when you nolonger allow someone else's behavior to control your emotions. What that means is just because someone does something you don't like, you don't get PISSED about it. Instead you DO something about it in a calm and rational manner. Reacting with anger is childish, and your parents have good reason to be cautious as long as you continue childish behavior.

Step up to the plate dude! We all think you are up to it!

FatMan

[Gup44]

Right-on additude...

Foo (and InfinatyBPS) your parents have a responsiblity to raise you. Not only that, but I assume they also have their own lives. Just because you are their kid doesn't mean they owe you a trip to the paintball field.

Look for ways to earn it. Don't expect the world to come to you, 'cause it won't. You have to go out and get it. I see this attitude in alot of guys, like the world owes them something. Dude, WORK for it. Find a way to please and appease your folks. If it means hittin' the books for school, do it. If it means asking what you can do to help around the house... DO IT. Whatever you have to do. IF you want to play paintball, you have to work for it.

Additude was right on, sit down and have a little pow-wow with the folks and let them know this is what you want to do. BE RESPECTFUL. Nothing will turn a parent off quicker than a lack of respect (believe me, I'm a parent). Compromise, make deals, tell them what you are willing to do for them if they will do for you. Don't assume anything. If they say you can play, don't assume they will take you. Nail all of those details down in your meeting with your folks. Ask them for what you want. Tell them what you'll give. That's how the world works... In economics they call it opportunity cost. It means what are you willing to pay for what you want.

Forget the deceit. If they catch you in that, you can say bye-bye to paintball. Be a man, be honest. Work for what you want. Then, if they say no... respect their decision. It may seem like a long time, but once you're old enough to be on your own, you can pick it up heavy. I know when you are young it feels like the end of the world when you can't do what you want. But don't sweat it. It'll come if you keep working at it!

[InfinatyBPS]

I have done all that, I get good grades, I do everything that I am told, there is no way of convincing my father, he just like totaly dosent want to do anything for me, and for him having his own life, his life is sitting at his computer all day and playing games. I have tried talking to him and he says, "Don't waste my time!!!" or "Go away!!!" It takes me weeks to convince him just to drive me 15 minutes away to my teammates house to get a ride. He dosen't care how I feel or what I say he just does whatever he wants. I just find it strange he would rather go to a strangers house all day and fix their computer or whatever and not get paid anything most of the time, then to take me to go play paintball and just chill out for a few hours. And don't say to wait till I get my license, they won't(or should I say can't) pay insurance on the car to cover me, and I'm not allowd to get a job until I'm 18, and even then it would have to be to pay for college(which my parents didn't even think of saving for) And don't say start saving, the pennies I get now aren't hardly enough to play paintball once every 2 months. Sorry again for venting on your thread Foo, I just gotta say what I gotta say...
Oh ya, I also have pretty much no social life because I can't get a ride to anyone's house or whatever because nobody will drive me because I go to a school like 30 mins away and I have to take the bus like right after school so Go to school come home is pretty much my days... I don't have many friends around my house because most of the kids who aren't drug dealers or heavy gang bangers are locked up in their house like I am. So can you yet tell I have a pretty jacked up existance. Well at least I have AO :)

[Additude]

Originally posted by InfinatyBPS
I also have pretty much no social life because I can't get a ride to anyone's house or whatever because nobody will drive me because I go to a school like 30 mins away and I have to take the bus like right after school so Go to school come home is pretty much my days... I don't have many friends around my house because most of the kids who aren't drug dealers or heavy gang bangers are locked up in their house like I am. So can you yet tell I have a pretty jacked up existance. Well at least I have AO :)

Wait until you get a job you have work 40+ hrs a week at, have a wife and two kids, diapers, toys, clothes for 4 people, a house payment, furniture, beds to buy, appliances to purchase, personal hygene supplies, car payments, gasoline and oil, food, insurance, doctor bills, water, heat, air, electric, cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, planting the yard, fixing stuff when it gets broken, painting the house, washing the cars, fixing the cars, pets, school supplies, shopping for all that stuff, school functions for my kids including sports functions, a night out once and awhile to a movie or dinner, and whew.....the list goes on. Maybe that's why I only got the boat out 4 times last year! And heck, I'm still paying for that....and the wifes $7,000 diamond ring!....and saving for my kids college!

Just wait, it's a comming.....you'll have some.....less you wanna be like you say your Dad is.

But that's OK, my kids don't think I do much anyway either.

[slateman]

FooTemps you've posted these kind of threads that its almost funny (sorry, just tryin to lighten up the mood) I sort of know how you feel. My parents would only drive me places if it had something to do with school or if I begged for days. The best thing to do would be to get rides from people. Yea I know it sucks but how much do you love this sport? You can make it up by giving people like you are now a ride in a few years. Thats what I did.

As for the waiver issue, it might be time for the mature son-to-parent. Yea there not fun but sometimes ya gotta do it. Whatever you do KEEP YOUR TEMPER!!!!

[fenris69]

well

Hey, im 22 , and I gotta pay to get to pball :) I do things for my mom..pay her 5 bucks a trip usually. Sure it's embarrasing, but I love to play and can't afford a vehicle right now. What can you do? suck it up.

As for the parent thing, the sit-down is a grand idea...however one cannot discount that some people are just jerks, regardless of their parental role. people are...well...people. So you may not find a solution. Do you have an older sibling(of legal age) willing to sign for you? How far is the field? Could you bike out there? Is it worth an hour on a bike to play pball? I say yes. thats what I'll be doing in a month.(course for me it's more like 30min)

[FooTemps]

Additude, Scrambler, Fatman, and Gup44...

I honesty try to talk to them but it always ends in a dead end. They truely don't have any reason to hate paintball but for some reason they do. It might just be becasue they're being over protective or something but they just say they don't like it. You know, "My word is the law" type stuff....

I don't get allowance or anything. I do chores like take the trash out and clean up the aparments. They pay me stuff per chore, not per week. I sometimes save up my lunch money for paintball and I pay for all my paintball stuff. It's just that my parents won't sign the waivers or give me rides to the fields.

Oh, and... My parents get pissed off at me for getting a B+ grade average. They also get pissed off at me when I get frustrated. (The only reason I get frustrated is because my parents don't ever give me a straight RATIONAL reason to why they don't like paintball)

Cardinal Biggles...
I live in the Shoreline area. I wish I could go to KC crusaders but it's TOO FRICKIN FAR AWAY... I agree about the refs but I've only been there on those good days. Hmmm... Didn't Hole in the wall close down or something? That's what I heard.

I forgot to add Slateman...
I've begged my parents for over a year and they still refuse to have anything to do with paintball... Heck, sometimes they won't even take me to school stuff.

Fenris, I can't bike out there... It already takes 1 hour to get there going an average of 60 mph in a car. I can't even begin to fathom biking 45 miles... My brother lives in Cali so he couldn't take me to any fields.

[fenris69]

crappy

thats too bad, your in a bit of a corner. probly they dont want to drive all that way, cant say I blame em. And theres nothing closer?? Might want to call the fields you do know and see if they know of anyone else in your area. In this case it's not like theyre losing any business, they may be willing to help. The other option is to buy up some pumps/stock classs and go play some outlaw. Something I considered when I was younger and pball was a little harder to find. I say pump/stock because the equipment,paint and air costs are much lower(what a used pgp? 40-50?), plus you dont have to worry about fills with 12g's. You can pick those up at walmart. The tough part would be finding a good location. lol...hell you could start your own field in a couple years when you can get a business license :)

[raehl]

Dood...

If you're 22 and need a ride from your parents to play paintball..

Stop playing paintball. Get a car and a better job. Then come back and play paintball later.

Priorities man.


- Chris

[magic55]

nobody cares. just figure it out yourself this is getting rediculous.

[FooTemps]

Um... I figured it out ok? Sheesh...

[BlindSeaman]

Thats strange well at least to me, espeically the part of your parents not wanting to spend time with yah.(not the main poster, but the other guy) Hell my dad would take me and a friend boarding when I couldn't drive and just hang out in the lodge for like 7 hours reading on a saturday, pretty damn cool he would waste his saturday. Also would take me p-ballin when I wanted to go.


I'm plenty old enough to drive now though, so me and friends go ourselves. But, my parents always bug me that they want to come watch sometime because they say it sounds like fun. Hmmmm, maybe I should be nicer to my parents.:)

[BlindSeaman]

And to all the people talking about attitude, some peoples parents are just dicks. My parents have always given me a lot of freedom, and for that I have done well and not pissed them off. Some of my friends parents are sooo strange/asses I can't imagine how they can live with them.

Just remember not to be like that to your kids.

[Cliffio]

Originally posted by magic55
nobody cares. just figure it out yourself this is getting rediculous.

thats very rude, foo is a great guy and doesnt need u flaming him,

hey foo, ill give u a ride whenever u wanna go, just look me up baller

[FooTemps]

I'll call u if i'm ever ridin in Illinois... lol