funny paintball stories... tell them here

[MAG-VS-COCKER]

well i now ppl like to tell stories like me so heres a place were you can tell them.




heres 1 of mine. well the 3rd time i ever played i was playing with 1 tourny player against 3 new players like i was. well i was scared to move like most new players are. well i finally got the chance to, and when i started i tripped on the platform of my bunker right in the middle of a blaze of paint. well i could have went back to that bunker which was only 2 feet from me but i didnt think of that. so i ran across the feild and got hit the whole way there. i had no gun in my hand either(i still cant remember y i didnt grab it.)

[Steelrat]

Mag vs. cocker, this is in no way a criticism of your post, but people have an easier time following the post if you throw some punctuation in there. One long run-on sentence makes it difficult to read.

That having been said, I feel your pain. The running joke around here is that I manage to wipe-out at least once every AO NORCAL day. Here are some examples:

-AO NORCAL 2: Ran for a bunker off the break, and hit the pile of paint behind it. My feet flew up, and I landed squarely on my back, knocking my goggles off. I hurredly put them back on and got in the game. Ref came over and asked "You okay man?" How embarassing.

-AO NORCAL 2.5: Ran up on a pack of newer players cowering behind their bunkers. On the way there I slipped on a pile of paint in front of a stand-up (notice a trend here?).I slid straight into the stand-up, almost knocking it down, and proceeded to stagger towards the opposing team, getting the crap shot out of me in the process.

-AO NORCAL 3: Ran to a lay-down off the break. I tried sliding into the bunker, but since the gound was just hard-pack dirt, my cleats caught on it and made me catapult forward, slamming into the bunker and knocking it over. The entire opposing team unloaded on me as I attempted to pull the bunker back up. Surprisingly, I survived. Even more surprisingly Mighty Mike, who was holding a camera and taking pictures from the outside of the net about 3 feet away from me, didn't manage to get a single picture of the fiasco.

-AO NORCAL 4: Stay tuned...

[MAG-VS-COCKER]

sorry man about the punctuation thing.im not in school and dont really think about that

[Evil Bob]

1) Watching someone go swimming with a $2000.00 angel instead of getting shot...

The old north field at Bear Creek Paintball had a stream that ran through the middle of it, it was fairly shallow, but it did get as deep as 4 feet in a few places, the stream was right on the edge of one of the flag stations which was normally access via a wooden bridge with no railings.

The scenario is an attack and defend game, attacking team has to hit the defending team, attackers start in the middle of the field on one side of the bridge, defenders at the flag station closest to the staging area on the other side of the bridge...

Attackers long ball and take out quite a few of the defenders and mount a rush across the bridge, myself and 3 others rain paint on them. We take out most of the attackers, dude with the spanking new angel is cringing behing someone who is dead already, ref is yelling for the dead guys to move on and for us to stop shooting so he can sort out whos dead and who isn't. Dude with the angel (last one left alive) looks at us, we look at him and raise our makers so we're ready when the ref calls game on again. Dude with angel panics and jumps off the side of the bridge and hunkers down along the side of the bridge so we can't shoot at him, he's now shoulder deep in the water with his angle partially submerged. Ref calls game on and he tries to shoot at us, he hammers on the trigger and of course, nothing happens. Dude freaks out to no end about how his dad is going to kill him when he finds out.

Turns out, he used to play with an automag 68 (before the classic designation), and getting it wet was "no big deal"...

2) Catching a player taking a bathroom break instead of guarding their flag...

Woodstalk paintball (located in the Santa Cruz mountains, 150+ acres of redwood trees at the time), flag games were 30 minutes long and the field was so big, it was easy to not see anyone else for an entire game. Lead a big group (40+) up the middle, cleaned out the bulk of their team and lost half of my team. Split up the remaining team to clean out the sides. Slowly and quietly made our way to their flag station. When we got there (had 2 ladies present) we found the lone flag defender "watering" the trees. One of the ladies started laughing out loud, flag defender turns around quickly in terror, ends up wetting himself as he tries to put his outdoor plumbing away. We're dying with laughter now, the poor flag defender gets really upset with himself, surrenders, and stomps off to the staging are to clean up.

3) "How the hell do you guys keep finding me??!!"

When smokers get nervous, they usually light up to help relieve the stress. Woodstalk (south valley Blossom Hill, before it moved up into the Santa Cruz mountains). 1982, old nelspot days. Had this one guy, who was scared to death to get shot. Then again, considering it was oil based paint back then *AND* it really hurt like hell, I can understand this. He also happened to have a two carton a week smoking habbit. The dude would be isolated off by himself, try to hide somewhere, then get really paranoid about people sneaking up behind him, so he'd try to relieve the stress by lighting up. It was really easy to see where he was hiding, just look for the rising smoke. Once you got close enough, you could see which way he was facing by the direction the smoke blew out of his mouth, so when we shot him, it was almost always on the back or on his butt. This went on all day long, at the end of the last game, he approached myself and another guy who kept shooting him game after game, to find out what our secret was for finding him, I told him "you need to quit smoking."

-Evil Bob

[Lohman446]

1) Undermanned Ambush

Playing at Excalibur (Battle Creek, MI) - the red team is holding the fort, I'm on red and walking towards the fort. I hear a massive firefight, and see all these red players walking out. I walk up amidst all the "dead" players, and stand next to a ref. Noting all the blue players (about 20 or so) and all the refs trying to sort out who's dead all wandering around without any cover. Ref looks at me says "watch out, there all blue". I casually enough reply "I know." I then proceed to unload my mag in the direction of all the blue players... red players, blue players, refs, dead players, all running for cover - I got lit up but it was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

2) Tournament upset

Playing at TC's Wayland Hyperball field (Grand Rapids, MI) our rookie team manages to make it to the finals. We are playing the #1 seated team and it is raining HARD I make a mad dash for the flag on the break, take it, jump over the snake... and with luck and rain guiding me, manage to take out all of the other team, I then hang the flag - elapsed time under a minute... the looks on their faces... FUNNY ((BTW, I love telling this story)).

3) Wrong way to run

Playing back at Excalibur, I am running from a few blue players I ambushed, and theres all these players up ahead - yes reinforcements... I get about ten feet away when I realize they are blue.. and they realize I am red. I lowered my gun and promptly got lit up...

I love stories :P

[the_next_guy_]

At Pendleton in San Diego they use nylon ropes and wooden posts as tapes. I was making a bunker move at a big game when they had all of the fields open. I went to jump over the tape and my foot caught and I fell headfirst into the ground. I broke my elbow (the one on my gun) and the mouth part came off my mask.

[50 cal]

About 1987 or 88 we were playing at a local field, Games Unlimited in Gallatin Tn. The A and B bases were seperated by a long shallow slope than ran from the A station to the B station.

Horn sounds for game on, I take off running like a madman down the hill, it had been raining hard for 3 or 4 days prior. I got to where I wanted to be and tried to stop, whasn't gonna happen ! I slid down the hill all the way to the opposing team. I got hit all the way there. I finally stopped about 20 feet passed all of them.


Fast forward to about 91 or so.
There was this huge bee tree at Nashville Paintball Sports old field. People were warned not to hide near it. There was a ditch that ended near the tree. Some yahoos decide it would be great hiding place. They take one shot, we returned with about 25-30 shots at the tree.
Never saw 3 guys run sooooo fast in my life!

[The Deacon]

Ok, here's my fav:

Shadow Run at Action Pursuit Paintball, Greeley, Colorado, a MXS 26 hour game, night portion-

I'm on blue team, and we've been getting MURDERED all day, so we're trying really hard to make it up at night.

We get a mission to assault a place for 30 minutes. The general-appointed leader of the mission has nightvision, so we're all stumbling along after him.

When we get there, no opposition is present, so we ask the ref if we have to stay. He affirms that we do, so we lay down just outside the objective.

At this point, I believe I fell asleep.

I wake up, and begin my round of questioning my now non-existant teammate. I say, in a hushed tone, "Hey, hey! Did we complete the mission? Hey! Did we... is anyone there?"

I start walking back to base upright, silhouetted by the moonlight, not thinking that my own team would fire on me. They did. I slipped and fell clean on my posterior, screaming, "SAME TEAM! SAME TEAM!"

Turns out I had been out so long that our base had already been rolled twice...

Funny side-story: the other team wasn't using nightvision at all, and at our base, the base defenders were sweeping the immediate area with one of those 10 million candlepower spotlights all night. Finally, the guy with nightvision on our team loses it and starts yelling at them that he was going to go blind and to knock that crap out. That was hilarious.

[dinger]

its rec-ball at my friends backyard, in a 4v4 game. we were keeping the other side down pretty tightly, and then i shot a lot at this one kid. he then walks out of his bunker, and just starts wandering the side of the field. so im like "haha! i got him" he walks by me, and im like "hello " and he goes "hey dude."

about 15 seconds later, i feel a shot to the back, my bro gets bunkered, and my other teammate takes it in the butt too.

so i panic, and start fireing at the guy whom i thought shot us, when it turns out that kid walking the field did a dead-mans walk and bunkered us all!! >_<

what i hate the most is that its perfectally legal

[FooTemps]

dead man's walk never worked for me... everyone is too wise for it...

[sbpyro]

My friend was video taping a woodsball game that I was playing in. We are watching the video and can see me in the middle of the screen at before the whistle. During the break I disappear from the camera view. A slow review of the disappearance shows that I had taken a header and my foot was where my head was.

[rich4man]

Rainbow Newbie

The field owner first explained to all the players the rules for playing mutant where 3 players get a head start then the the rest of the players hunt them down. Anyone who gets shot becomes a mutant. Anyway, two of my friends and a newbie were selected to be the mutants. The field owner told them "DON'T setup an ambush right outside the dead zone". He thought the reason why was obvious. The mutants get their head start and the newbie ignores the field owner and tells my friends he is going to ambush everybody right outside the dead zone. My friends try to talk him out of it but don't succeed. A few minutes later 15 people unload from the dead zone to start the game. This newbie proceeds with his ambush and gets of one or two shots before 15 people return fire. This newbie ends up a rainbow with all the different colors of paint hitting him. He had to sit out a few games to recover from all the welts.

[UltimatePaintballer]

well

the first time i played at an orginized field, was like the second time i played paintball. I was hinding in the farthest bunker, right by my teams deadbox. I was asking them which way the other team was coming since i was the only one left. they told me the other way, and i looked out that side. After looking i hear someone coming from the other side. i look up and see a guy right in my face and he shot five balls at him. After that horrific pain i got up crying and went to the dead box. Good thing after playing a while it doean't hurt that much

[gamarada717]

I have quite a few of these, but I'll keep it to just two.

1). Keep your eyes open.

Playing at a friends woods, and it's about 5 acres. 5v5 game, and the way we play is like this. One team walks down the the hill to the creek, and back up it to where we play. They go to the back line (or sometimes just set up on the field, which is what happened this time). We were all still newbs, toting spyders and tippmen. The other team walks down the road, and turns left onto the field. Then I yell, and we start to advance. It really gives a cool feeling....so many paths and different bunkers to go to, a whole 5 acres of it too. Also, The team that went up the road is attacking, going down a hill. The other team is at the bottem of a hill. Like I said, sometimes people will set up in bunkers and just wait until they see somebody. Well, my friend harrison saw somebody, sure enough. He's pocketed between a tree and a sheet of metal, just waiting for somebody to come around the corner. A guy on my team just slowly walks into this bunker, not even noticing Harrison, since he is fully in camo. My friend Ben just sits down, and starts to wait. Harrison is having trouble not laughing at this point....I'm suprised he didn't crack or just shoot on instinct. He waits about a minute, when Ben backed up into his barrel. I heard him scream from about 4 acres away. Man that was funny.

2.) What the...

Same field, same teams, same day even. Except this game I decided to add a little fun. My team started at the bottem of the hill this time, and I had my teammates set up in a huge circle around the whole area. Everybody got in holes and covered themselves up with leaves so they wern't seen before they were supposed to. The other team had no clue where any of us were, and on my signal of 10 continuous shots, the show began. About 5,000 bottle rockets were shot of in 10 seconds, and the other team thought Bin Laden had came for them. Then, we all come out shooting, even if we couldn't see them. 3 of them huddled into one bunker, the other 2 went seperate ways. I have one of my guys come by with some bottle rockets clustered up (the way that we did the others) and drop them in their bunker. The rest of us were firing at them, so the never noticed until the bunker....wait for it.....caught on fire. Yes, I have no clue how it happened....it had been raining earlier. We call peace, and we just start shooting at the fire until finally the paint put er out. Yeah...we never told anyone else about that.:) :)

[Python14]

Before you read this story you must first know the lay of the field I was playing. This was back in like 1996. I played renegade ball at a friends house and he has this creek/drainage ditch that divides his property into 2 parts. When it rains, this ditch fills with water and gets about 3 feet deep.

Anyway, so ofcourse it rained a few hours before we began playing. It was a particularly hot day, probably rose 30* in 2 hours. Well, We all had cargo pants and camo jackets on so we got real hot, real fast. So some of decide to just wade into the creek to cool off. We hadn't seen anyone for a few minutes anyway so it didn't matter if it slowed us down. So we get out and I have probably gained 20 lbs in my pants alone(in water that is). Well, wouldn't you know it, we immediately get attacked. I dive for a bush. I make it fine, but my pants didn't. They fell down around my knees and there I was sitting behind a bush, soaking wet, with my pants around my knees, in a shootout.

Believe it or not though, I did not get shot at all, and I even managed to get a few eliminations.