I posted this almost 4 years ago on Paintball City, then again on PBN when I joined there 3 years ago. Someone asked me about it the other day so I found it again, revised it, and added some new markers to it. Here it goes....
NOTE: This is a joke by the way. Do not take it seriously in any way shape or form. Loosen up and fart before you read this, just to relax a little bit more.
Also, in case you are wondering where I come up with this generalizations, it mainly comes from personal experiences and such.
INSTRUCTIONS: FIND YOUR MARKER AND READ THE DESCRIPTION OF WHAT TYPE FO PERSON YOU ARE.
-PGP:I'm a meat and potatoes person
-P68:I eat my meat and potatoes with a 12 inch fork
-Phantom:Simplicity is my middle name
-Maverick/Trracer:I'm all skill
-Spyder:I think I'm cool
-M98:I am cool
-Model 83:I wish I was cool
-Talon:I'm in the 4th grade
-Raptor:I'm in the 4th grade and get an allowance
-Rainmaker:I'm in the 5th grade and get have rich parents
-Nelspot007:Back in my day....
-Automag:I like to go 4 wheeling in my jeep
-Autococker:I was born with a screw driver in my hand
-Dark Cocker:I was born with a multicolored screwdriver set.
-Sandridge F5:I was born with a DeWalt cordless drill
-Shocker:I know what I'm doing
-Impulse:I know what I'm doing and I'm still in highschool
-Vision Impulse:I know what I'm doing but know too much
-Defiant:I know vaguely whats going on but still I'm confused
-Any custom Impulse: I bleach my hair
-Adrenalin Impulse: wow, I can spend spend spend
-Timmy:I can jump, kick , and shoot my way thru problems
-Bushmaster 2000:I replaced skill with paint
-Angel LED/LCD:I play in national Tournaments, or atleast I pretend to
-Angel IR3:Fattie Fat Fat FAT
-Angel Speed:My gun is ugly and I don't care, my gun is ugly and I don't care....
-E-blade Cocker: I have a comb over. If I'm not old enough to yet, I will when I get old enough.
-Revenge2:I buy fake stuff and say it's real
-Mini-mag:I live in a one room apartment
-Micro-mag:I share a one room apartment
-E-mag: I sold my soul to Satan for a case of paint
-Evolution Autococker:I love British life
-Piranha:I don't care about labels
-03 Shocker: I've jump the gun so many times that they now have two guns. One for me, and one for everyone else.
-X-mag: Midlife Crisis
-ULE anything: See above
-Matrix LED: My Timmy isn't working, as usual.
-Matrix LCD: My Timmy never works, ever.
-Trauma Matrix: Hop in my IROC, we'll go for a ride.
-GZ Timmy: I understand value
-A5:"Two Tangos at 3 o'clock"
-BKO: Huh? You said something about me being frugal.
-Viking: I don't buy into hype, unless it's cool.
-SFL E-mag: Yea, they only made a few of these babys. Danny, or Dan as he asked me to call him, said I got real lucky with this one. Yea, it's got 26 bps capable and a level 10 anti-chop system installed professionally.(I am imagining the arrogant guy from the snickers "Crunch" commericials)
-Tippman Prolite: When did they start playing paintball in fields instead of the woods?
-RT Pro: I built my own computer
-Nova: Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges.
-Blazer: I worship Wayne Dollack
-Excalibur: "I taketh my sword and stabbeth thee!"
-Lasoya Timmy: I get on your nerves
-NYX Matrix: I totally owned the Lasoya Timmy guy
-Ironman Matrix: Owned is my Middle name
-Python mag: My family came over to American on the HMS OWN-YOU
-Tunamag: <----Badass, no questions asked.
-X-kitty: I have a fan club
-FX Micrococker: I look like an elf, and sometimes play one around christmas.
-Shocktech Timmy: I have wreck, or will in the future wreck an H2
-Shocktech SFL anything: I'm all about performance, and hype, and propaganda, and looks, and everything else.
-Palmer's Chamile:I stole my gun
-Any angel: Sex bought me
-VM-68: My dominant arm is 4 times the girth of my non-dominant arm, and I don't jerkin my gerkin.
-RT Classic: I've driven the same Dodge Duster since 1985, and it still rocks
-LI Bushmaster: "I saw Navarone...."
-Alien gun:....Oh man, I'm not gonna touch that one
Any gun that is custom annodized:You can't put me in a cage
Any gun painted:I put small animals in cages
Any gun w/ a 16"+ barrel:Quiet, Charlie will hear us
Any gun w/ a double trigger:I can still give peeps the bird
Any gun w/out a foregrip: The name's Bond, James Bond
Any gun w/ a pump:I'm sick of masturbating
You read Facefull: "I read it for the articles"
NOTE: This is a joke by the way. Do not take it seriously in any way shape or form. Loosen up and fart before you read this, just to relax a little bit more.
Also, in case you are wondering where I come up with this generalizations, it mainly comes from personal experiences and such.
INSTRUCTIONS: FIND YOUR MARKER AND READ THE DESCRIPTION OF WHAT TYPE FO PERSON YOU ARE.
-PGP:I'm a meat and potatoes person
-P68:I eat my meat and potatoes with a 12 inch fork
-Phantom:Simplicity is my middle name
-Maverick/Trracer:I'm all skill
-Spyder:I think I'm cool
-M98:I am cool
-Model 83:I wish I was cool
-Talon:I'm in the 4th grade
-Raptor:I'm in the 4th grade and get an allowance
-Rainmaker:I'm in the 5th grade and get have rich parents
-Nelspot007:Back in my day....
-Automag:I like to go 4 wheeling in my jeep
-Autococker:I was born with a screw driver in my hand
-Dark Cocker:I was born with a multicolored screwdriver set.
-Sandridge F5:I was born with a DeWalt cordless drill
-Shocker:I know what I'm doing
-Impulse:I know what I'm doing and I'm still in highschool
-Vision Impulse:I know what I'm doing but know too much
-Defiant:I know vaguely whats going on but still I'm confused
-Any custom Impulse: I bleach my hair
-Adrenalin Impulse: wow, I can spend spend spend
-Timmy:I can jump, kick , and shoot my way thru problems
-Bushmaster 2000:I replaced skill with paint
-Angel LED/LCD:I play in national Tournaments, or atleast I pretend to
-Angel IR3:Fattie Fat Fat FAT
-Angel Speed:My gun is ugly and I don't care, my gun is ugly and I don't care....
-E-blade Cocker: I have a comb over. If I'm not old enough to yet, I will when I get old enough.
-Revenge2:I buy fake stuff and say it's real
-Mini-mag:I live in a one room apartment
-Micro-mag:I share a one room apartment
-E-mag: I sold my soul to Satan for a case of paint
-Evolution Autococker:I love British life
-Piranha:I don't care about labels
-03 Shocker: I've jump the gun so many times that they now have two guns. One for me, and one for everyone else.
-X-mag: Midlife Crisis
-ULE anything: See above
-Matrix LED: My Timmy isn't working, as usual.
-Matrix LCD: My Timmy never works, ever.
-Trauma Matrix: Hop in my IROC, we'll go for a ride.
-GZ Timmy: I understand value
-A5:"Two Tangos at 3 o'clock"
-BKO: Huh? You said something about me being frugal.
-Viking: I don't buy into hype, unless it's cool.
-SFL E-mag: Yea, they only made a few of these babys. Danny, or Dan as he asked me to call him, said I got real lucky with this one. Yea, it's got 26 bps capable and a level 10 anti-chop system installed professionally.(I am imagining the arrogant guy from the snickers "Crunch" commericials)
-Tippman Prolite: When did they start playing paintball in fields instead of the woods?
-RT Pro: I built my own computer
-Nova: Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges.
-Blazer: I worship Wayne Dollack
-Excalibur: "I taketh my sword and stabbeth thee!"
-Lasoya Timmy: I get on your nerves
-NYX Matrix: I totally owned the Lasoya Timmy guy
-Ironman Matrix: Owned is my Middle name
-Python mag: My family came over to American on the HMS OWN-YOU
-Tunamag: <----Badass, no questions asked.
-X-kitty: I have a fan club
-FX Micrococker: I look like an elf, and sometimes play one around christmas.
-Shocktech Timmy: I have wreck, or will in the future wreck an H2
-Shocktech SFL anything: I'm all about performance, and hype, and propaganda, and looks, and everything else.
-Palmer's Chamile:I stole my gun
-Any angel: Sex bought me
-VM-68: My dominant arm is 4 times the girth of my non-dominant arm, and I don't jerkin my gerkin.
-RT Classic: I've driven the same Dodge Duster since 1985, and it still rocks
-LI Bushmaster: "I saw Navarone...."
-Alien gun:....Oh man, I'm not gonna touch that one
Any gun that is custom annodized:You can't put me in a cage
Any gun painted:I put small animals in cages
Any gun w/ a 16"+ barrel:Quiet, Charlie will hear us
Any gun w/ a double trigger:I can still give peeps the bird
Any gun w/out a foregrip: The name's Bond, James Bond
Any gun w/ a pump:I'm sick of masturbating
You read Facefull: "I read it for the articles"
Comment