Moral Dilema.

[southside_mag]

Wow, I'm sorry man. I have a friend who's mom is like that. He also lives in FL (just outside of Orlando, not sure where though). He went on vacation with his friend and his family to Cali. It was only a week long trip, and might I add, think kid is a grade genuine geek (and he'll admit it!). He had a video game collection and some really rare consoles and all that. He said he collection was valued at something like 4 grand (i told you he's a geek!). So, while on vacation, his mom sells it ALL on ebay. He comes home, hands him $300 and says "It was all just a big distraction! Video games are evil!"

Sounds fair, eh? $300 for stuff you invested $4,000 in and your mom just sells it. He can't do anything, he's only 16, so technically she did have the ownership rights. He ended up moving out and in with his old man.

So I don't personally know how that is, but I've seen it first had. I'm sorry about your troubles. If things don't go over well, I'd be more than happy to ship you some of my gear that I don't use much (all in amazing shape) just to get you back in.

Thats really cool of you to offer and i apreciate it , but i'll probably just go to wal-mart and pick up a cheap set up to get me by until i get this worked out, man whats this world coming to when you can't even leave somthing at your own parents house without fear of it getting sold for quick cash.

[gortman44]

get your stuff by any means, or at least the money that is due to you. ...... what an *** hole. , your step dad

[Lee]

sound like you don't come from a happy home in the first place.

been there and done that. if thats the case, i understand what you're going through.

just because they are your parents, that gives them no right to run over you and take your personal property. they're your parents! they should be happy to help you, which is what parents and people that love you really do.

do what you have to do to get your stuff or your money, fight B.S. w/ fire and at the least they'll think long and hard before treating you like that again. and after it's all done, stay in missouri, move on with your life and be happy.

anyone that wants to flame me for what i just said can take a flying leap. when you've been treated like this or worse by your parents or people that are supposed to watch out for you, then you can talk.

yeah i have issues, and seeing people treat thier children like this makes me sick and angry.

[CoolHand]

sound like you don't come from a happy home in the first place.

been there and done that. if thats the case, i understand what you're going through.

just because they are your parents, that gives them no right to run over you and take your personal property. they're your parents! they should be happy to help you, which is what parents and people that love you really do.

do what you have to do to get your stuff or your money, fight B.S. w/ fire and at the least they'll think long and hard before treating you like that again. and after it's all done, stay in missouri, move on with your life and be happy.

anyone that wants to flame me for what i just said can take a flying leap. when you've been treated like this or worse by your parents or people that are supposed to watch out for you, then you can talk.

yeah i have issues, and seeing people treat thier children like this makes me sick and angry.

Agreed.

Whenever a parent goes this far to be cruel to their kids (which is what this boils down to - "you're not here to defend yourself or your stuff, so we will do as we like, na na") then they sorta lose the right to be aghast when they get sued by said kid.

BTW, where in Missouri are you? Near the middle?

Shoot me an email with your # and I'll give you a ring next time we go play. I'll even loan you some gear (god knows everyone else uses my stuff, why not you too).

I swear, you have to have a license to drive a car, or even own a dog in most places, but they will let anybody be a parent.

PLEASE NOTE: I do not think that you should have to buy a license to have a child. Nor do I think there should be mandatory training or anything of the sort. I just find it humorous (at best) that we as a society place so little importance on what is arguable the most important job in the world.

I do find it amazing that some folks manage to grow up normal, well adjusted, and responsible, even when their parents are gone or are complete tools. To those individuals, I tip my hat.

Instead of being a waste of space and blaming their folks (which could have easily happened), they sucked it up and became useful members of society (you know, law abiding, job having, rational people).

I had good parents, so I had it easy. However, I have had many friends that fell on both sides of the above statement. It is an all too common scene these days.

[Lohman446]

Let me say this - what is happening to you sucks, and I in no way mean to make it any different.

Let's use your figures of $1500. Is alienating your parents (even if they suck) from your life forever worth $1500 (or $500 after the lawyer fees). To me it would not be (though my parents are tremendous)... and sometimes in life you just have to swallow pride, and loss, and move forward. I can't judge your situation, I cannot imagine what it is like....

[CoolHand]

Let me say this - what is happening to you sucks, and I in no way mean to make it any different.

Let's use your figures of $1500. Is alienating your parents (even if they suck) from your life forever worth $1500 (or $500 after the lawyer fees). To me it would not be (though my parents are tremendous)... and sometimes in life you just have to swallow pride, and loss, and move forward. I can't judge your situation, I cannot imagine what it is like....

Well, I look at it a different way.

I think that by pulling a cheap stunt like this, that it is his parents that don't care if they alienate him (which may be the motive that his step dad has, as it seems they don't particularly care for one another), or they figure they can push as hard as they like, because he will always come back.

People like that need to know that you have the will to fight, rather than just bending over and taking it. They count on you not wanting to make them mad, or alienate them when in fact they likely don't care how much they hurt you, or alienate you.

Lohman - I know where you are coming from, I love my folks, and could never blatantly slap them in the face, but we both have to look at this from the perspective of someone who doesn't have folks like we do. He can't depend on them, he can't trust them, and he shouldn't have to feel bad about standing up for himself or taking care of what is his ('cause they sure as hell aren't).

[Jon594]

What about calling the police to confiscate the items? Maybe get one of your friends to pick them up at the station and mail them off.

[cdacda13]

Maybe your parents want you to come home, because they miss you. So, they are using the paintball gear as a way for you to come home,

[SpitFire1299]

There your parents, respect your elders. I know your probley mad, and yes it does suck.. but you would have nothing if it wasnt for them in the first place. I dont know what to suggest...

[southside_mag]

first off let me say that i appreciate all of you guys input and thanks for writing, I guess my real moral dilema in the situation was with my mom, now I don't think it's right that she's taking part in all of this, but I also don't want to blame her, see he has been the one with the problem with me from the start sort of counting the days till i turned 18 so he could say get out, I think she is more afraid of losing him thats why she lets him get away with stuff like this and with me moving out at seventeen he is all she got.
I understand where you guys are comming from by saying go down there and get the stuff ,even if i could, that would cause alot of problems between them,and i don't want to be the cause of marital problems for my mom, that also happens to be one of the reasons i moved to missouri,(the other is because my girlfriend wanted to move and i'm whipped ) now most of the people i've talked to about it have just told me look your young let it go and just learn from this and don't make the same mistake twice, but anybody who has worked and worked hard just so they could have somthing nice will tell you that letting someone just take it is not an option. this whole situation has got me completly confused,and i'm glad that there's a place like this were i can get some insight on my situation. thanks again!

also I live in licking so if anybody's in my area and plays let me know, paintball has always been just the thing to get my mind off problems!

[also i realize that sueing them will most likely cause problems between them too but me going down there would definetlly cuase alot more, somtimes i let my emotions get the best of me and it would most definetlly turn out very bad]

[sumorai]

Still got a key to the house? Still talk to your grandma? Still got friends in their area?


Here's the plan:

1. mail key to good friends in the area

2. keep in constant contact with your grandma

3. if she says they're taking a vacation or will be gone for a few hours, move on to step 4, otherwise repeat steps 2 & 3

4. call good friends, tell them to go to the house and get your stuff

[cioeboy]

have your friends check if the stuff is there and if it isnt have some one talk to your mom or dad and record it if she admits that she or your dad sold them it would be sale of stolen merchendise and you would have proof on tape

[southside_mag]

Still got a key to the house? Still talk to your grandma? Still got friends in their area?


Here's the plan:

1. mail key to good friends in the area

2. keep in constant contact with your grandma

3. if she says they're taking a vacation or will be gone for a few hours, move on to step 4, otherwise repeat steps 2 & 3

4. call good friends, tell them to go to the house and get your stuff

It's funny my girlfriend suggested that i do that same thing the other day except without the key.

[buzzboy]

have your friends check if the stuff is there and if it isnt have some one talk to your mom or dad and record it if she admits that she or your dad sold them it would be sale of stolen merchendise and you would have proof on tape

Now that would be a great idea. Perfectly legal and wouldn't cost as much as a lawyer.

[warbeak2099]

Before bringing the case to court and getting lawyers involved, I would seek mediation and/or arbitration. Find a company that does this in the area of your parents' home. Arbitration would be a better choice if you are confident you have been wronged. However, seeing as your parents probably wouldn't agree to this counseling, I would take them to small claims court.