Being a certified historian and expert on the Great Pie Offensive Of '68, there are a few mistakes I would like to make clear..
'68 was in fact a very eventfull year. Many countries were at war with each other. One such altercation occured between New Zealand and Australia. It was the bloodiest, dirtiest war either country had ever partaken of, which left them both feeling very sorry when it was all over. One particular event that New Zealand was extremely embarassed about was the framing of an international incident between their then enemy, Australia, and the world super-power, the U.S.
The fiend notorious for the crime, "CheezeKake", was actually the New Zealand radical political activist Jonathan Dillinger. Yes, the same imfamous criminal of the 1920's had actually fled the country and sought refuge in that small, war-torn island west of Australia.
While many people believe that Sara Lee vanquished Dillinger single-handedly, they are once more lacking the entire story. When Sara arrived at the center of Dillinger's jungle retreat, she found him already tied and gagged. While she did proceed as in the other rendition to free the encumbered pastries, nobody knew who had aided her in the capture of the graham cracker-crusted assailant... until now. Recently, an old woman who lived on the coast of Australia in '68 finally came forward and admitted having seen a Chef Prudhom-shaped apparition floating towards the compound engulfed in a haze of methanized cajun bean gas. Though we can only guess at the implications of this report, it's safe to say that Sara Lee was not alone in the crusade for the freedom of pies.
I hope this history lesson has been helpful in ridding the world of useless rumors and half-truths about the great holiday of the Great Pie Offensive of '68. Don't forget, this holiday was designated to memorialize all those people who gave their time for the greater cause.
Yes, it was the Great Pie Offensive of 68'. First, there was an evil supervilan named "CheezeKake" who believed that the only paletable desert was in fact Cheese Cake, and that Pies of all kinds should be destroyed and/or only given to the Italians. So all the pie in the world was gathered up and stored in his secret hideout in the Jungels of Australia. Sara Lee, a great patriotic women with an unusually large boosum, would have none of this. Since most Susie Homemakers of the time were unskilled at the art of Pie making, she quickly floated to Australia on her unusually large boosum to rid the world of "CheezeKake" and extricate the pies. Haveing done so, we still today are enjoying Sara Lee's Pies on such great occasions as April Fools Day and/or whenever you like.
The fiend notorious for the crime, "CheezeKake", was actually the New Zealand radical political activist Jonathan Dillinger. Yes, the same imfamous criminal of the 1920's had actually fled the country and sought refuge in that small, war-torn island west of Australia.
While many people believe that Sara Lee vanquished Dillinger single-handedly, they are once more lacking the entire story. When Sara arrived at the center of Dillinger's jungle retreat, she found him already tied and gagged. While she did proceed as in the other rendition to free the encumbered pastries, nobody knew who had aided her in the capture of the graham cracker-crusted assailant... until now. Recently, an old woman who lived on the coast of Australia in '68 finally came forward and admitted having seen a Chef Prudhom-shaped apparition floating towards the compound engulfed in a haze of methanized cajun bean gas. Though we can only guess at the implications of this report, it's safe to say that Sara Lee was not alone in the crusade for the freedom of pies.
I hope this history lesson has been helpful in ridding the world of useless rumors and half-truths about the great holiday of the Great Pie Offensive of '68. Don't forget, this holiday was designated to memorialize all those people who gave their time for the greater cause.
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