my annoyin parents

**InfinatyBPS** · 06-23-2002, 12:13 AM

Parents are weird, they try to "protect" you from bad things and the only thing that does is make you get stunned when you do see/hear/experience something. And I would like to see them block what you see at school. Hehehe, the first time I ever seen anything umm..."inappropriate" was when I was in like 3rd grade and someone brought some pics to school, and now alot of people bring porn to school as jokes and just to gross people out... so I would like to see what parents say when they see that most of the bad stuff is at school where they can't block them... stuff you see anywhere is life, thats whats there, thats whats going to happen so why try to change it? Just teach your kids about and tell them that its right to do this, or wrong to do that, don't try to protect them until they are 16 and then let them get surprised when their girlfriend/boyfriend starts talking about "different" things to them... This is all just my opinion...

**shartley** · 06-23-2002, 06:11 AM

**KHartley** · 06-23-2002, 06:19 AM

I was not going to post at all to begin with but as a Mom I would like to ask you a question?

Do you pay for the computer and the internet connection? I feel that too many kids fail to remember that they don't have to pay the bills and put food on the table and but then want to complain.

I think that there has been a lot of publicity lately concerning all the bad points of the internet and I think that she is probably just concerned that nothing happen to you. Do I think that the block that she applied to the computer is a bit over the top, yes, I do but is she a horrible person for doing it,no, I don't think so.

Please try to remember that she is doing what she thinks is right. She is not merely just trying to piss you off.

And, as far as the email part goes, since I no longer use an ISP like AOL I do not receive emails like the one you mention. You might also think about who you are talking to, how these places are getting your email address, the chat rooms and sites you are visiting etc. Seldom do these offensive email senders "make up" email addresses to send to. Like I said I don't receive them and I spend a great deal of time on the internet. Funny thing too, I don't receive virus' either....and for the same reasons. :)

**paintbattler** · 06-23-2002, 10:56 AM

man, thats messed..when u get it?

**Army** · 06-23-2002, 11:42 AM

Wow, the Hartley double whammy!

You two said all I was going to go off on! Sure took the wind outta my sails

**RT_Luver** · 06-23-2002, 11:58 AM

ok, I got a few things to say. YES parents are underated ans should be repected a little more. I trust its a hard job. 2. I agree with infintyBPS totally, 3. I ppl were talkin bout payin the bils and the comp bein a privalege, I'm not payin for the internet, but I payed for the computer, I think thats a little messed up. and thats about it

**shartley** · 06-23-2002, 12:14 PM

3. I ppl were talkin bout payin the bils and the comp bein a privalege, I'm not payin for the internet, but I payed for the computer, I think thats a little messed up. and thats about it

**Vegeta** · 06-23-2002, 09:27 PM

KHartley-

you stated that you do not use an ISP like AOL and now you do not recive E-mails of the disgruntal sort anymore.

My ISP provided e-mail has at least 5 or 6 spam messages everyday, ranging from ads for certain "Pills" to downright smut. And yet I do not use a big ISP. Actually, I use a Mom-and-Pop ISP out in the country here. The ISP has less than, estimated 1500 users. Yet I still get horrid messages (actually the account is my Mother's, I have a separate account on another remote server). Still this is not even close to what I recive on Hotmail accounts. In fact, I used to work for a respected gaming website as a writer, and my email address was displayed all over the net. The forums alone at this place have ~4000 active users. I got an estimate 60 emails a day. some legit. 98% spam. I would get on average 20 virus-carrying emails a day (yet I was never dumb enough to downlaod htese virii). It was quite a shock to me, when your email is out in the open like that, how many people, or actually script bots more or less, get your information.

On the subject at hand:
I think it is wrong what your mother is doing. I know some peopel that haev been protected all their lives from anything vulgar, from language to sexual situations. I think that this is a mistake. I know people who I cannot even mention certain things around them without them getting upset, which is really hard for me not to do, for I am fluent with language sometimes. Now In my view, there are a few things that happen to kids that are surpressed like this:

1) The child grows up and, when confronted with the Real World, is most shocked, and does not become very socially adapted. These teens/adults may be very shy and may not have intrest in the opposite sex until many years after their teenage years.

2) The child sees how their parent(s) are trying to supressthem from teh outside world. They may not like this, or they may have gotten a 'taste' of the "Outside" world.. they become secretly rebelious against these restrictions, yet do not show their side to their protectants. Many teens are like this.

3) The child does hte same as above, yet cannot stand to be restricted at all. This causes fueds and possible runaway. YET if the parents would have done the 'normal' thing and just let their child see and hear the 'real world', yet still tell them right from wrong (this is important to develop morals) then the child would feel perfectly fine yet still be safe from certain 'bad' things.

I hope you all see my points. Comments?

**RT_Luver** · 06-23-2002, 09:38 PM

I mean NO OFFENSE by this but if we're gunna get into how parents are unappreciated and stuff with all they do for us. you have to remember that WE had no choice of our parents having us. I mean, they did the hibidy dibidy and we're are THEIR responsibilty. if you gunna get into selfishness, them having us and then not takin care of us would be selfish IMO. this is just how I see things and I could be wrong. but I'mam just explaining it the way I see it

**RT_Luver** · 06-23-2002, 09:42 PM

I have forgotten to say a few things. I DO think my parents are AWESOME. i mean, they take me skiing, pay for all that stuff, their prob gunna dish out TONS of money so I can go to a ski academy and stuff like that. so dont think I'm not appreciative, thats not the problem. I believe they do WAY MORE then what they really need to. but youwere talkin about things that they really almost HAVE to provide(home, food, etc...) so again, be appreciated and respected is not really a deal with me and my parents, in my eyes, they are the best parents a kid couls have

**paintbattler** · 06-23-2002, 09:45 PM

yea i agree..but mine are better =)

**shartley** · 06-23-2002, 10:17 PM

RT_Luver Vegeta

**Miscue** · 06-23-2002, 10:54 PM

I agree with you Vegeta. I'm not going to make a comment on the filtering so much as authoritarian and emotionally abusive parenting.

A close friend of mine had authoritarian parents. She was hidden from reality... and lived in a fantasy world. She believed she had to be the perfect daughter to please her parents... and in her mind she invented the 'perfect-self.' Guess what happens when reality mixes with fantasy. She found out she can't be 'perfect.' (And given, it's a twisted idea of 'perfect'. As a side note, wonder what goes on in an anorexics head? Think of a twisted idea of 'perfect'. Think of the fear of not being accepted/loved, being a failure/ugly/garbage if not 'perfect') Enter life-long bout with major depression/suicide etc. She learned that sex was dirty - and thought that you could have a relationship w/o any physical contact. Think this works? Think this could raise problems in the future?

Not everyone grows out of certain things. Stigmas don't always disappear, with some people they solidify.

You can't blame someone for having dyslexia. And most of us know now that it has to do with the brain learning incorrectly and is helped by reteaching the brain. The emotional part of your brain can similarly go wrong - but it's easier to realize that someone has difficulty reading than having unhealthy thoughts and emotions which sufferers can do a VERY good job of hiding. Can't read? Oh, could be dyslexia... that's ok, we understand. Emotional issues? "Get over it. What's wrong with you?" Thing is, with dyslexia - people can't read very well or at all. Emotional issues - people kill themselves and/or live miserably... sometimes exhibit anti-social behavior.

Let kids grow. What exactly are you protecting them from? Protect them from reality and they will be unprepared when they inevitably have to face it. I'm not saying let them go uncontrolled - that's bad too... but be smart about it. Let their minds and emotions grow into something too strong for anything to hurt them. That's how you protect them... not from hiding them away.

Teach them what you deem is right and wrong? They should live, think, feel how you want/make them? Maybe you're wrong. Maybe what you think is right... what you force upon them is emotionally abusing your child. But then again, you're the parent and it is your right to hurt your child as long as you are unknowing of what you do and are confident in that your way is best. After all, you're a parent and that gives you special powers and you know things that non-parents and especially your children could not understand... only you know what's best. That kind of arrogance... that infallibility... makings of an authoritative/abusive parent.

Think that providing material things is the bottom line? Providing them emotional well-being is more important than many realize.

This story is not uncommon, just well hidden... although this one is a bit more of an extreme case. Many people, males and females, fall into this to some degree or another. I myself am a survivor... an ongoing project - continually diagnosing and fixing my brain.

Authoritarian parents can kill. Be a provider in all respects.

-Brian

J · 06-23-2002, 11:09 PM

I've had that happen to me once, but it was soon taken off. I have seen and heard all that I can, and will continue to see it here and if not, somewhere else. I think my parents got the jist.