In anticipation for Deus Ex 2, I have decided to play through the first one again. For those who don't know, Deus ex is a first person RPG set in the near future. The nature of the game is that it give you a set of absolute objective, but there are usually several different methods of acheiving them. For example, the first mission is set on Liberty Island in New York (In an amazing stunt of clairvoyance on Ion Storms part, the head of Miss Liberty was blown up by terrorists, and is lying by her feet). Your task is to get to the top and talk to the leader, who is doing something bad probably. There are at least two ways of getting in, you can take the sneaky stealth gear solid approach, and run past all the guards, silently stunning them with your taser, and generally being hidden. Doing it this way pleases your superiours, as you don't kill anybody, but all your workmates call you a big girly pansy. You can also run in with all guns blazing, killing everyone that crosses you and looting their ammo and guns and bashing their limp corpses to a messy pulp with your crowbar. This mode is slightly harder (as its the first level, and you're relatively weak) but all your friends think you're a badass and you impress them, but your brother and boss are annoyed, because you made the statue smell all corpsey... you jerk!
Anyway, just about half way into the game, you find yourself in Hong Kong, near a market, littered by exceptionally short tempered police. I was doing some exploring round the darker areas of the canals, and came accross two chaps talking near a flaming barrel. Being the friendly (intrusive) chap I am, I approached them, about to engage in a lovely conversation about boats or something. Unfortunately, they turned out to be drug dealers (Why do I always choose the worst friends?) One of them said 'Hey! Who's this guy?!?', not waiting for a response from either me or his friend, the friend shouted, 'LETS GET HIM!". One pulled a crowbar, and the other a knife, and took up chase of myself. Normally, i would have just murdered them in a terribly brutal way and offer their carcasses to a butcher or small child, But these fellows are drug dealers! utter scum! they will probably sell drugs to children and women and puppies! They deserve to die in an even more terrible and humiliating manner. I switched on my super nano robot legs, and leaped over them, probably doing a sumersault for cinematic effect, and lead a chase up to two friendly (and extremely heavily armed) policemen, one carrying an assault rifle (henceforth named "stupid"), and the other a flame thrower ("retard"). Using their amazing force powers, they seemed able to detect my predicament and terribly hostile assailants from about 50 meters away, Stupid and Retard ran to my aid. Stupid did the incredibly smart tactical move of running directly in front of both men, and open fire, hitting nothing with his rifle. Retard turned the corner saw his good friend in trouble and opened fire, setting the first assailant on fire, killing him instantly, "bravo!" I shouted from the sidelines, "encore!". Heeding this, retard let loose with his flamethrower, completely missing drug dealer number two and dousing stupid in flames, who began to run round like a caffiened up puppy on speed, waving his flaming limbs about wildly in the air and screaming. Being the good friend, and dedicated policeman, retard totally ignored this, and began to chase the now fleeing druggy. Finally catching the bad man in an ingenius trap known in the force as 'Putting bags of garbage on the floor', retard gave him a shower of napalm, leaving him to die on the streets in a screaming, flaming, running around mass of evil. Acknowledging a job well done, retard began the slow walk back to his lookout post, stopping only to tell me, "Dangerous for tourists to be out here at night."
THANKS RETARD! YOU'RE POLICE CHAMPION #1!
Despite this, Deus Ex is still probably the best game you will EVER play.
Anyway, just about half way into the game, you find yourself in Hong Kong, near a market, littered by exceptionally short tempered police. I was doing some exploring round the darker areas of the canals, and came accross two chaps talking near a flaming barrel. Being the friendly (intrusive) chap I am, I approached them, about to engage in a lovely conversation about boats or something. Unfortunately, they turned out to be drug dealers (Why do I always choose the worst friends?) One of them said 'Hey! Who's this guy?!?', not waiting for a response from either me or his friend, the friend shouted, 'LETS GET HIM!". One pulled a crowbar, and the other a knife, and took up chase of myself. Normally, i would have just murdered them in a terribly brutal way and offer their carcasses to a butcher or small child, But these fellows are drug dealers! utter scum! they will probably sell drugs to children and women and puppies! They deserve to die in an even more terrible and humiliating manner. I switched on my super nano robot legs, and leaped over them, probably doing a sumersault for cinematic effect, and lead a chase up to two friendly (and extremely heavily armed) policemen, one carrying an assault rifle (henceforth named "stupid"), and the other a flame thrower ("retard"). Using their amazing force powers, they seemed able to detect my predicament and terribly hostile assailants from about 50 meters away, Stupid and Retard ran to my aid. Stupid did the incredibly smart tactical move of running directly in front of both men, and open fire, hitting nothing with his rifle. Retard turned the corner saw his good friend in trouble and opened fire, setting the first assailant on fire, killing him instantly, "bravo!" I shouted from the sidelines, "encore!". Heeding this, retard let loose with his flamethrower, completely missing drug dealer number two and dousing stupid in flames, who began to run round like a caffiened up puppy on speed, waving his flaming limbs about wildly in the air and screaming. Being the good friend, and dedicated policeman, retard totally ignored this, and began to chase the now fleeing druggy. Finally catching the bad man in an ingenius trap known in the force as 'Putting bags of garbage on the floor', retard gave him a shower of napalm, leaving him to die on the streets in a screaming, flaming, running around mass of evil. Acknowledging a job well done, retard began the slow walk back to his lookout post, stopping only to tell me, "Dangerous for tourists to be out here at night."
THANKS RETARD! YOU'RE POLICE CHAMPION #1!
Despite this, Deus Ex is still probably the best game you will EVER play.
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