Letters to Santa...

[Rob218]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Cody's Christmas party. It was David who spiked the punch with too much Jim Beam. I can't help it if I drank 31 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Cologne.

I thought it was funny when I put Mike's Beanie on my head and danced the Tango on the Counter while singing `So much for the afterglow'. I didn't mean to break Cody's Stereo and don't know why Cody would sue me for Vandalism.

I don't remember calling John's wife a *** Goat---even though she looked like one with Green eye shadow and Orange lipstick!

And when I threw up on Ann's husband's foot, it was only because I ate too much of that Quesadilla.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Tank through my neighbor's window. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a blue dog and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all yummy and greasy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this screwed up stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and screwily yours,
Rob (Really a nice Boy!)

P.S. It's only 6 bucks!

[Curly]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Leo's Christmas party. It was Marcus who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 27 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like crap.

I thought it was funny when I put Jake's boxors on my head and danced the electric slide on the sofa while singing `Stacy's Mom'. I didn't mean to break Leo's laptop and don't know why Leo would sue me for muder.

I don't remember calling Chris's wife a tall pig---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick!

And when I threw up on Jen's husband's foot, it was only because I ate too much of that burrito.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my ferrari through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a nice bird and have me arrested for loitering!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all blond and horny. And I'm really not to blame for any of this fat stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
Jeremy (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 18 bucks!

[sneakyhacker420]

i used a few random and obscene words... heres part of it

And when I threw up on mommy's husband's pussy, it was only because I ate too much of that vagina.

LMFAO

[Leroy717]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Conner's Christmas party. It was Josh who spiked the punch with too much Dr.Pepper. I can't help it if I drank 17 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like rotten eggs.

I thought it was funny when I put Brady's pants on my head and danced the tango on the couch while singing `back in black'. I didn't mean to break Conner's blender and don't know why Conner would sue me for robbery.

I don't remember calling Pat!'s wife a stupid goat---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Chris!'s husband's finger, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my mustang through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a giant Llama and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all wild and slow. And I'm really not to blame for any of this mad stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and dirty yours,
Justin (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 717 bucks!

[FalconGuy016]

Originally posted by shartley

As was mine

[trevorjk]

this cant be good

And when I threw up on laura's husband's thigh, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

[Will Wood]

Oh my, that's great..hilarious.. but I of course would get banned posting it lol.

I'm going to have to show that to my female freind... she'll love it.

[penguinpunk555]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Katie's Christmas party. It was Katelynn who spiked the punch with too much Bud light. I can't help it if I drank 1000 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like katie hmmmmmmmm.

I thought it was funny when I put katies's thong on my head and danced the cha-cha on the table while singing `thriller'. I didn't mean to break Katie's tazer and don't know why Katie would sue me for beating the crap out of her.

I don't remember calling dad's wife a stupid cow---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and red lipstick!

And when I threw up on mom's husband's head, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my semi-truck through my neighbor's living room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a evil penguin and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all cute and sexy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this awsome stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and very yours,
Nate (Really a nice Boy!)

P.S. It's only 1,000,000,000,000,000 bucks!

[UltimatePaintballer]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at johnny's Christmas party. It was nik who spiked the punch with too much kiddie cocktails. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like a$s.

I thought it was funny when I put dylan's jockstrap on my head and danced the the funky chicken on the step stool while singing `In da club'. I didn't mean to break johnny's toothbrush and don't know why johnny would sue me for breaking and entering.

I don't remember calling Tom's wife a big Cow---even though she looked like one with pale eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Lisa's husband's ear, it was only because I ate too much of that pie.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my hummer through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a long sheep and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all hard and sticky. And I'm really not to blame for any of this smooth stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and wet yours,
Corey (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 5 bucks!

[TraXeR]

yep, 84 glasses of pure mexican whiskey would do a number to anyone. (mine)

[TooDamnSweet]

LOL that was funny

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Estelle's Christmas party. It was Nicole who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 5 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like rapture.

I thought it was funny when I put Robert's robe on my head and danced the hip hop on the sofa while singing `Always'. I didn't mean to break Estelle's massager and don't know why Estelle would sue me for theft.

I don't remember calling Stacy's wife a fat cow---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick!

And when I threw up on Pua's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that sushi.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my neon through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a black dog and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all hot and sad. And I'm really not to blame for any of this large stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quite yours,
Yvonnie (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 500 bucks!

[RogueFactoryKid]

Lol i Think the electronic Device was too Vague

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Sarah's Christmas party. It was Matt who spiked the punch with too much Tequila. I can't help it if I drank 12 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Toilet bowl.

I thought it was funny when I put Chris's Shorts on my head and danced the The Hokey Pookie on the Love Seat while singing `The Rock Show'. I didn't mean to break Sarah's Vibrator and don't know why Sarah would sue me for Sodomy.

I don't remember calling Pete's wife a solicitous Pig---even though she looked like one with Red eye shadow and Yellow lipstick!

And when I threw up on Wendy's husband's Arm, it was only because I ate too much of that Double Deluxe Cheeseburger.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my El Camino through my neighbor's ****ter. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a limper Horse and have me arrested for Beastiality!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all indomitable and forlorn. And I'm really not to blame for any of this friable stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Very yours,
Adam (Really a nice Boy!)

P.S. It's only 15 bucks!

[p8ntball1016]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at matt's Christmas party. It was ray who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 4 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like ***.

I thought it was funny when I put joe's thong on my head and danced the dance on the chair while singing `p.i.m.p.'. I didn't mean to break matt's tv and don't know why matt would sue me for murder.

I don't remember calling steve's wife a happy cow---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and brown lipstick!

And when I threw up on lisa's husband's wang, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my truck through my neighbor's door. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a sad duck and have me arrested for rape!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fat and old. And I'm really not to blame for any of this dumb stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and *** yours,
chris (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 89778 bucks!

[TooDamnSweet]

Lol i Think the electronic Device was too Vague

Yeah that was an eye popper. But I was thinking more along the lines of a back massager, I guess I should be more specific in the future.

[p8ntball1016]

tds you dirty little girl