Favorite Comedians?

[FreshmanBob]

Anyone got a favorite comedian here? I'm downloading some Mitch Hedburg from kazaa, lordy is he great.

classics like
"I like to go to the beach and bury metal objects in the sand that say 'get a life'. I also like to put notes in bottles and throw them into the water, when someone picks one up and reads it, I sneak up behind them. The note says 'I'm right behind you'"

orr
"I rent alota cars because I'm on the road a lot. Sometimes I drive like 10 miles with the emergency brake on. That really doesn't say alot about me, but it says a lot about the emergency break. It's really not an emergency break, its a emergency make the car smell funny lever.

[dansim]

i love dave attel, and it may very well be in a sexual way lol he cracks me up

"you know drinking alone leads to bad things, like im alone in my apartment an ive had a few and the next thing you know, I got my penis in teh fish tank saying whos the man now?, all the fish are hiding in teh castle, eve the little scuba diver stopped bubbling, then like all bad drinking binges it ends when your grandma walks in on ya"

[Clare]

Sinbad is awesome! I went to see his show a little over a year ago and got to meet him afterwards. I was ecstatic!

[FreshmanBob]

O man I'm listenin to this whole CD

"With stop lights, green means go, yellow means yield and red means stop. But with banana's, its the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go and red means what the **** kind of a banana is that?"


"I'm against picketting, but I don't know how to show it."

[Python14]

I forgot his name but I saw him on Comedy central. Heres some of what he said...

"I have this asian roomate and whenever she comes in, I play (short stereotypcial oriental song on piano). Sh gets so mad and says "Why do you do that? You know it's offensive?"" I tell her "Because, I don't have a gong"

"Recently, a friend of mine was diagnosed with multiple personalities and there is absolutely nothing funny about that. A week ago, he called me up though, and my caller ID exploded"

"Sometimes, I like to go to bad movies when they are in like the eigth week of showing and there is like one person the theatre. I like to sit down right next to them and about halfway through the movie, during a quiet part, I like to lean over and say "SHHHHHH, I can't hear Keanu"

Every time I see him, I roll on the ground laughing.

There is this other guy who did some stand up and he was impersonating a self-defense teacher for his set. He was talking about why he got into it....you must know though, he never left a straight face. You could have lit your own fart and burned youself and he wouldn't even crack a smile..
anyway he goes....

"2 years ago, my daughter was kidnapped. From that day, I promised, I swore that I would look for her for the rest of the weekend."

[dansim]

yeah that guy is quite funny with his 12 peice ex girlfriend acapella group, with his sign that says "i look like fat jesus" i had his tony danza star quote in my sig for a couple of weeks lol

[ZSigErik]

that guy you are thinking of is on Conan too, and he has a WEIRD last name, its like Galaphnakis or something, John I think or Josh, something like that...

I love Nick Swardson and John Gaffigan and Harland Williams.

Nick- "Man, IF i go through life without getting stabbed..I win..."

[NewMag]

Lewis Black and Eddie Izzard.

L. Black-"You people in Wisconsin, you drink so much, how do you guys know when it's New Years?!"

L. Black as wisconsin-"That's when we drink. . .with hats on."

[theraidenproject]

You guys are talking about Zach Galifinakis (sp?). I saw him live in NYC. He came on before Lewis Black, the headliner. Both were hilarious, even though Lewis used a lot of material I had already heard. I think the funniest thing Galifinakis said was, "I was drinking the other morning... with my mom... and she said, 'I havn't been this drunk since I was pregnant with you'". It doesn't sound as funny now, since typing can't replicate the timing.

Anyway, a few other comedians I like are Dave Attel, Dave Chapelle. For some reason, no others are coming to mind, but that's not all I like.

[ProjectMag]

Dane Cook is quite the comedian. I sometimes watch BET's Comicview as well, some good ones on there at times like Arnez J, others are pretty bad. I'm partial to comedians who do impersonations - always gets my attention.

[SlipknotX556]

Dennis Leary

Brian Regan

My 2 favorite.

[AutomagRT1483]

All Time Favorite Comedian:

GEORGE CARLIN!!!!

Dave Chapelle is in a close second

[Koosh]

I'll second George Carlin... one of the funniest men alive... and for 30 years running!

There are alot on Comedy Central I dont' know the name to... What was the guy's name who danced in front of the choir while ripping off the giant posterboard?

I also liked him describing his look when asking for it in a beauty salon:

"I want the Young Santa Clause"

"I'd like the Sea Captain"

"How about the Fat Jesus"

"I'll take the Rapist"

Or how about Robin Williams Live on Broadway? Now there is some messed upped stuff there... When he goes off on Golf is classic, or basically when he starts the impressions its all funny!

(edit)
AHH! I forgot about David Cross! If you haven't heard him, you HAVE TO! He's been in a few movies (most were crappy, like the guy in the wheelchair in Scary Movie 2), but has a WICKED stand up. What are you waiting for? Go out an buy (or just download) his CD "Shut up you *cough* Freaking *cough* Baby" its soooo funny.

(anyone who gets offended at the making fun of religions may not want to look into that... or if you don't like alot of swearing...)

[BareBack]

My faves - Billy Connolly and Carl Baron.

"If you can lie on the ground without holding on, you're sober" - Billy

[pbzmag]

Bill Cosby. Nuff said.

Gallagher - How can you not like sledgehammers and watermelons!