Best CLEAN joke?

[Hexis]

Awful warning

You have been warned...











How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops Ice Cream and two scoops dead baby.




I warned ya.

[-=Squid=-]

hexis: I dont get it?

[heftylefty]

what do you call a/an *insert person here* with one wooden leg?




poop on a stick



what do you call a/an *insert person here* with 2 woodenlegs?




waste of wood

[m-98]

Ok here goes.


Two blondes were walking thtough the wood and they come across some tracks. The first one says "Those are deer tracks."
The second replies, "No those are moose tracks." They argue like this for three hours until the train comes along and kills them both.

[impostal22]

will someone explain these to me? lol i'm dumb, or something...

Originally posted by edweird
its a classic ... but seems to always resurface


Arkansas Reading test:

M R Ducks
M R Knot
C D M B D I's
O D M R Ducks

i dun get it...

You messed that up. Its two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducks.

i dun get it...

"Honey, Then what was the glass breaking?" The little girl kinda makes a thinking noise and says "Well, when mommy fell, phil got the blankets wrapped around his legs. He tripped on mommys leg and fell out the window and into the pool"....Jim, is real worried now, He timidly says
"but hon, we don't have a pool"

i dun get it...

[impostal22]

a man and his son were out building the foundation for their new house, and the kid goes to his dad, "hey dad, i'll bet you $20 that if i throw this brick up in the air, that it won't land!" his dad, eager to show his son up, takes the bet. as expected, the son throws the brick up and it falls to the ground. the son, perplexed, says, "ok! this time i'll bet you 30 bucks that if i throw that brick right there up, it won't land!" the father sighs, accepts the bet, and as expected the son throws the brick up and it crashes to the ground. the son studies the brick, bewildered. this time he looks determined. he says "dad, this time i'll bet you 40 bucks that if i throw this brick up, it won't ever land!" the father, annoyed now, says "ok but this is the last time!" surely enough, the kid throws the brick up in the air, and it never lands.

[impostal22]

there is a plane...in this plane there is a grumpy man and an easily provoked old lady with a poodle. her poodle has been barking ever since liftoff...and the grumpy man is getting awfully annoyed...so he lights up a cigar to relax...the old lady yells at him to put the cigar out, but the guy ignores her. her dog continues to yap incessantly, and the guy finally gets fed up and says, "LADY! if you don't shut your dog up RIGHT NOW, i'm going to throw it out of the window!" the old lady responded, "you wouldn't dare do such a thing, AND PUT THAT CIGAR OUT!" the guy had enough. he opened the window, his cigar went flying out of the plane, and he grabbed the poodle and hurled it out! the man looked outside, and shockingly enough he saw the dog with something in its mouth! what's in his mouth!?
















THE BRICK!


HAHAHHAHA..maybe told better in person..but funny regardless...

[845]

"Honey, Then what was the glass breaking?" The little girl kinda makes a thinking noise and says "Well, when mommy fell, phil got the blankets wrapped around his legs. He tripped on mommys leg and fell out the window and into the pool"....Jim, is real worried now, He timidly says

He had the wrong phone number.

[DJBacon06]

what is green and goes "slam slam slam slam"?

--a four door pickle!




what did the farmer say when couldn't find his tractor?

--HEY! WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!?!


a mushroom walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey! We don't serve mushrooms here!" and the shroom says, "Why not? im a fun-gi"


a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender tells him that they don't serve string here. so the string goes outside and messes himself up, and ties himself into a knot. he comes back in and the bartender says, "Hey didn't i just tell you we don't serve string here?!?"
and the string says, "I'm a fraid knot!"