For all you PC haters...

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  • EsPo
    Dosehead
    • Jul 2002
    • 4140

    #1

    For all you PC haters...

    Got this email from my dad.



    This is one joke that all of us will appreciate. For all of us who feel only
    the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced
    our lives, read on.

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
    computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
    with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
    $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
    driving cars with the following characteristics:
    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy
    a new car.
    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
    would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
    shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
    continue.
    For some reason you would simply accept this.
    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
    your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
    have to reinstall the engine.
    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
    reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on
    only five percent of the roads.
    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
    replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"
    warning light.
    7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
    and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
    turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn
    how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
    in the same manner as the old car.
    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
    WWW.EROWID.ORG
  • Brak
    POOP
    • Sep 2002
    • 1996

    #2
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats great
    SIG RULES SUCK REAL BAD AND THEYRE STUPID AND DUMB AND THEY STINK AND ARE STUPID AND I HATE THEM AND THEY SUCK REAL BAD

    Comment

    • Albinonewt
      Team Icky Forest
      • Apr 2003
      • 2456

      #3
      That's funny. Older then sin, but funny.
      Or better yet, why don't you kill yourself. No, really, die. Drop dead, don't leave a note, in fact burn your house while your little ego is stuck in a bench vice so that you'll also incenerate yourslef and everything you own with it. Because that's all you're worth. You're not even wirh thte time it'll take for the house to burn down, so just kill yourself. You're a waste of space. You are nothing, you always will be nothing. Don't leave a note, you're not worth the ink. - Tyger

      Comment

      • EsPo
        Dosehead
        • Jul 2002
        • 4140

        #4
        Originally posted by Albinonewt
        That's funny. Older then sin, but funny.
        Oh.. damnit... is it old enough so you would tell me to delete it?
        WWW.EROWID.ORG

        Comment

        • SlipknotX556
          Registered User
          • Nov 2001
          • 5054

          #5
          W0rd!

          Tiger Stripe Barrel Condoms F/S
          Warped Kustoms - Custom Headgear and Apparel
          Click Here For My AO Feedback
          Click Here For My PBN Feedback

          Comment

          • Albinonewt
            Team Icky Forest
            • Apr 2003
            • 2456

            #6
            Originally posted by EsPo

            Oh.. damnit... is it old enough so you would tell me to delete it?
            I would, but after the car problems experienced by AO at Shatner I'm not willing to anger the car gods.
            Or better yet, why don't you kill yourself. No, really, die. Drop dead, don't leave a note, in fact burn your house while your little ego is stuck in a bench vice so that you'll also incenerate yourslef and everything you own with it. Because that's all you're worth. You're not even wirh thte time it'll take for the house to burn down, so just kill yourself. You're a waste of space. You are nothing, you always will be nothing. Don't leave a note, you're not worth the ink. - Tyger

            Comment

            • Zumina
              What Are You Looking At?
              • Jan 2001
              • 2081

              #7
              Re: For all you PC haters...

              Originally posted by EsPo

              6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
              LMAO!!
              Shoot it like you stole it!

              Comment

              • -=Squid=-

                #8
                Is the first quote by BG true, or is it all just a joke? Obviosly GM didnt actually say that...but did BG? Either way, freakin hilarious man!

                Comment

                • Albinonewt
                  Team Icky Forest
                  • Apr 2003
                  • 2456

                  #9
                  Originally posted by -=Squid=-
                  Is the first quote by BG true, or is it all just a joke? Obviosly GM didnt actually say that...but did BG? Either way, freakin hilarious man!
                  If memory serves both statements are near to true but nearly a decade old. I believe the president of Ford at the time responded to a boast by Bill Gates by basically saying "Yeah, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
                  Or better yet, why don't you kill yourself. No, really, die. Drop dead, don't leave a note, in fact burn your house while your little ego is stuck in a bench vice so that you'll also incenerate yourslef and everything you own with it. Because that's all you're worth. You're not even wirh thte time it'll take for the house to burn down, so just kill yourself. You're a waste of space. You are nothing, you always will be nothing. Don't leave a note, you're not worth the ink. - Tyger

                  Comment

                  • Kevmaster
                    Owners Group Div: Director
                    • Oct 2001
                    • 5475

                    #10
                    couldnt have been early 90s....they're mentioning windows (as in multiple versions) and macs only taking 5% of the comps....

                    but YES, it is old

                    Comment

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