Christmas

[zvanut]

yes it is almost Christmas time. Anything that has to do with Christmas post it here

[tsc]

A Lovecraft Christmas

Twas the night before Yuletide and all through the hole
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Dhole
Aldebaren hung at the right place at nine
In the hopes that Great Cthulhu would come out this time

The Fungi from Yuggoth, all snug in their caves
Were plotting to turn all the people to slaves
The Deep Ones in Rlyeh, the Ghouls in their graves
Were dancing and singing and acting depraved

When what do my wondering eyes should appear
But a mouldering sleigh and eight corpselike reindeer
With a horrible driver so leprous and reeking
I knew right away that my fear was unspeaking

The reindeer were gross, as they flew up from hell
And It hoarsely whispered and chanted a spell
Ia Shub Niggurath! Cthulhu ftagn!
Nyarlathotep! I summon you on!

As decomposed flesh before the charnel stench rise
And meet with the open air polluting the skies
Up to the housetop the horror it rose
And the gangrenous odors assailed my nose

And then in a slopping noise heard on the roof
The lumbering clomping of octopoid hoofs
As I drew in my head and was turning around
The horror lurched into my room with a bound

Its eyes how they pulsate
So bulbous and gory
This blasphemous creature
So noxious and hoary

I was frozen by fear, my feet woudn't run
I threw up my cookies, this wasn't much fun
It whispered my name and said ``You come with I''
I tried to refuse and it said ``Then you die.''

It came at my throat with its grim claws extended
But a miracle saved its victim intended
I had three Elder Signs in a slot in the floor
It screamed with a fiendish sound and went out the door

It sprang to its sleigh, and its team gave a surge
And away they all flew to the sound of a dirge
I heard it exclaim as it flew out of sight
``You're lucky this time, for the stars weren't right.''

If you don't get it, go read some Lovecraft

[NikeMann]

ummmmm.......interesting......

sounds like it's from the mummy or something.

[slateman]

What the heck happened to Santa Claus and his elves

[NikeMann]

"the night santa went crazy": santa is in prison and the elves work for the post office. as for the reindeer...venison.

[ThePatriot]

Hey NikeMan posted it accurately but i have the more in depth version. Santa Claus's elves wanted to go on strike, they felt they werent getting paid enough and they also felt they shouldnt have to work under the conditions they were in....with Santa's rude attitude and cokaine addiction things were getting very ugly. Eventually the North Pole division of the armed forces was called in and they tried to break it up but let me tell you, nothing can stop a santa strung out on cokaine that has just drank, and them little elves can leave a nasty bite.

The battle waged on for days at an end until finally the armed forces finally staked out Santa and them elves, in a desperate last attempt he hooked up his reindeer and tried to fly away from the armed forces. Ahhh it worked have work but that Rudolph the red nosed raindeer who saved santa so many years ago....his red nose kinda stood out in the night sky and the snipers were on him as fast as santa is to eat and coke up. The newly exposed reindeer(thnx to rudolph) were shot down from the sky and santa came crashing down taking out 3 hummers and injuring 5 men and women during the fall.

With santa claus under arrest the elves that were left only had a small time left and they knew it, some started surrendering but the few and proud elves went out the way any elf would want to....they swalled nitro gycerine and did a little jig, that was the end of them. Now with santa under arrest and serving time on charges of aggrivated elf slaughter and abuse of a controlled substance we wont be seeing him for a while. The remaining survivng elves are forced to serve community service as postal workers as Nikeman stated, but a select few were lucky enough to work in some of them new super cockers, making it even better than a mag....and that is the end of the story for today kids, tomorrow we can learn about the easter bunny and his homosexual tendancies...

[NikeMann]

very nice. very nice indeed. you have potential for childrens books...well maybe not childrens books but you do have creativity. i was acctually using the weird al song "the night santa went crazy". listen to it sometime, you may get a kick out of it. although the drunk part was right, it was acctually santa that killed the reindeer with a flamethrower (instant BBQ). and mrs. clause is selling the movie rights. if you want the lyrics, i might be able to get them.

as for the easter bunny, he can wait till easter. but that has an interesting twist to it too.

WARNING: the christmas tree may be sharp, watch your eyes when watering it.

i have a "twas the night before christmas" poem too. it just has to be edited before i can post it. that will be coming soon.

[ThePatriot]

You will read and you WILL like my story...understood?

A creative post meant only to up the current post in a non upping fashion

[Mag89]

Anything????? Ok guess so...Merry Christmas!!! Hey it has to do with Christmas