The difference between a liberal, a conservative, and a southerner??

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  • CasingBill
    The Case Wang
    • Jan 2003
    • 1347

    #1

    The difference between a liberal, a conservative, and a southerner??

    How do you tell the difference between a Liberal , a Conservative , and a Southerner?

    Pose the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

    You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    Liberal Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information! to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this
    situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

    Should I call 9-1-1?

    Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.


    Conservative Answer:

    BANG!


    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    click...(sounds of reloading).

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

    Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
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  • breg
    mean & hateful, fat & ugly
    • Jan 2003
    • 1037

    #2
    Funny stuff. But, you have to wonder about the truth in this joke.
    Giant flying dogs are gonna give you a flame-thrower enema!!!

    SUPPORT YOUR TROOPS!!!!!!!!

    Chuff!!! Chuff!!!

    ABQHC

    Comment

    • Kevmaster
      Owners Group Div: Director
      • Oct 2001
      • 5475

      #3
      quite good....quite good....

      Comment

      • spazzed
        AOChamp
        • Jun 2001
        • 4461

        #4
        Originally posted by breg
        Funny stuff. But, you have to wonder about the truth in this joke.
        Aye, ironically funny & true.
        I'm way too old for this ****.

        Comment

        • MayAMonkeyBeYourPinata
          Another One Bites The Dust
          • Feb 2003
          • 2246

          #5
          I think most peple would shoot.

          Why else would they have a gun?
          Love Will Tear Us Apart

          Comment

          • Gabriel
            jh151399 @ the nation
            • Dec 2003
            • 387

            #6
            OH GOD I LOVE THIS!!! haha, that is great.

            <------- Southerner here
            BRAND NEW NEVER BEFORE USED CROSSFIRE 68/45K!!!



            CLICK HERE! INSANE DEAL!

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            • bleachit
              Conturbo et Ledo
              • May 2003
              • 1410

              #7
              I am kinda disappointed, I guess I would only shoot once... well I hope I make that shot count
              "Great stories! See everyone, just buy a Sydarm and become a paintball superstar!! "
              AGD

              "i just sent out the full force of the canadian army (4 guys). expect high canadian casualties"
              Blackweenie

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              • Lohman446
                Useful posts: 7
                • Jun 2003
                • 9315

                #8
                Originally posted by bleachit
                I am kinda disappointed, I guess I would only shoot once... well I hope I make that shot count

                Or three times, check your sig.
                "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. Its not" - Dr Suess

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                • sgt_easton
                  Registered User
                  • Dec 2003
                  • 134

                  #9
                  I don't know who said it, but,

                  "When in doubt, empty the magazine."
                  ----------------------------------
                  "Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God. I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
                  - Patrick Henry

                  Comment

                  • f3rr3+
                    Six inches of furry fury
                    • Apr 2003
                    • 752

                    #10
                    hah good stuff
                    Last week i thought i was indecisive, but now im not sure anymore...

                    Comment

                    • HoppysMag
                      Hoppy's en Fuego!!!
                      • Oct 2001
                      • 3494

                      #11
                      actualy i think a southerners responce would be WTF a glock and why aint u buying american made. or theyd make a comment 40 cal is too small gotta go with the 45, 45lc or 357 YEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAA
                      "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." -John Morley

                      Comment

                      • p8ntball1016

                        #12
                        a southern response would involve whiskey, a shotgun and a pickup truck.

                        Comment

                        • 1stdeadeye
                          Still around????
                          • Jun 2002
                          • 8501

                          #13
                          So I'm a southerner who lives in New Jersey?

                          Comment

                          • CasingBill
                            The Case Wang
                            • Jan 2003
                            • 1347

                            #14
                            Originally posted by 1stdeadeye
                            So I'm a southerner who lives in New Jersey?
                            1DE..I've been to South Jersey. Sometimes you can't really tell your still in NJ!
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                            • 1stdeadeye
                              Still around????
                              • Jun 2002
                              • 8501

                              #15
                              Originally posted by CasingBill


                              1DE..I've been to South Jersey. Sometimes you can't really tell your still in NJ!
                              Once and for all, I do not live in or near the pinelands!

                              I live just outside Philly! So welcome to Philly, come on down so we can boooooo you!

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