The difference between a liberal, a conservative, and a southerner??

[Rooster]

"Don't worry Uncle Jesse, we's got our ears on. Cooter and Daisy are runnin interference, ya copy? "

Don't worry Shepherd, we got our ears on. Crazy-C and Bo-Peep are runnin interference, over.

Sorry, as a die-hard fan of the show, I had to edit for accuracy.

[Big'n slo]

Originally posted by Rooster
"Don't worry Uncle Jesse, we's got our ears on. Cooter and Daisy are runnin interference, ya copy? "

Don't worry Shepherd, we got our ears on. Crazy-C and Bo-Peep are runnin interference, over.

Sorry, as a die-hard fan of the show, I had to edit for accuracy.

Gah!

You are correct, I shall go flog myself with an alligator skin...

[Sir_Brass]

Re: The difference between a liberal, a conservative, and a southerner??

Originally posted by CasingBill
How do you tell the difference between a Liberal , a Conservative , and a Southerner?

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information! to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this
situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.


Conservative Answer:

BANG!


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click...(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

actually, it's false for the southerner .

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG!
Wife: Dang it, Jim! You said last night I could shoot the next one!

[Albinonewt]

Re: The difference between a liberal, a conservative, and a southerner??

Originally posted by CasingBill
Conservative Answer:

BANG!

You're forgetting the second bang.

From the throw-away piece I keep in my truck just in case that should ever happen

[aaron_mag]

You've got it all wrong...as usual...stupid neo cons...

We liberals don't have "family values" like you fine and upstanding folk. So the answer is we would run away and hope we could outrun our wife and kids so that we could save ourselves.....

<------note sarcastic face.....

[pbzmag]

Originally posted by aaron_mag
You've got it all wrong...as usual...stupid neo cons...

We liberals don't have "family values" like you fine and upstanding folk. So the answer is we would run away and hope we could outrun our wife and kids so that we could save ourselves.....

<------note sarcastic face.....

You mean the Costanza move, right?

[1stdeadeye]

Originally posted by aaron_mag
You've got it all wrong...as usual...stupid neo cons...

We liberals don't have "family values" like you fine and upstanding folk. So the answer is we would run away and hope we could outrun our wife and kids so that we could save ourselves.....

<------note sarcastic face.....

If you can't outrun your wife and kids, you deserve to be "had" by the bad guys!

The true conservative doesn't run away until after he double taps the bad guy in the forehead. He only runs away to avoid the paperwork that goes with a shooting!

[paint magnet]

Originally posted by 1stdeadeye


If you can't outrun your wife and kids, you deserve to be "had" by the bad guys!

I say that if you run away from your wife and kids so the attacker would get them instead, you deserve to be "had" whether you can outrun 'em or not.

My .02

[Raspo]

You forgot to mention that a Conservative would be wearing a Swastika patch and most likely would have already killed 10 Iraqi soldiers earlier that day just because Hitler (Bush) said so.

You also forgot to mention that a Southerner would probably miss when he shoots because of his lack of intelligence and the fact that he'd be drunk on whiskey wearing a confederate flag patch on his arm..

[p8ntball1016]

Originally posted by Raspo
You forgot to mention that a Conservative would be wearing a Swastika patch and most likely would have already killed 10 Iraqi soldiers earlier that day just because Hitler (Bush) said so.

You also forgot to mention that a Southerner would probably miss when he shoots because of his lack of intelligence and the fact that he'd be drunk on whiskey wearing a confederate flag patch on his arm..

did i ever tell you that i love you?

[1stdeadeye]

Originally posted by paint magnet


I say that if you run away from your wife and kids so the attacker would get them instead, you deserve to be "had" whether you can outrun 'em or not.

My .02

= joke. Get it?

[WickeDKlowN]

I'm definatley the southerner. But I wouldn't have a Glock, more like a .357 or a 12 Gauge.

[CasingBill]

Originally posted by Raspo
You forgot to mention that a Conservative would be wearing a Swastika patch and most likely would have already killed 10 Iraqi soldiers earlier that day just because Hitler (Bush) said so.

You also forgot to mention that a Southerner would probably miss when he shoots because of his lack of intelligence and the fact that he'd be drunk on whiskey wearing a confederate flag patch on his arm..

Wow...that was pretty original. Did you think that up all by yourself? You would probably be one of the runners.

[Raspo]

Yeah, I actually did think of that all by myself because unlike most of you morons, I am very intelligent. In fact, my IQ is probably higher than all of the Southerners' IQ combined. As for you conservatives, I'm pretty sure (100%) that my IQ is higher than your leader's...that guy by the name of George Bush...did you know his daddy bought him his way through college? It's true...he's really a moronic redneck, but his dad has money.

SUPPORT THE WAR ON TERROR! SUPPORT BENEFITTING OFF OF OTHERS! SUPPORT THE KILLING OF INNOCENT PEOPLE (Americans included!) - Sarcasm.

[Enigma4you]

Originally posted by CasingBill


1DE..I've been to South Jersey. Sometimes you can't really tell your still in NJ!

Only when the wind is right...