Well, for about a week there was this sick possum that had been run over. Well, lets start from the begginning.
There was once a possum who kept eating the cat food outside, so, my dad took the black dragun I gave him for christmas and shot it 31 times. Yes, I fealt bad for the poor creature, but he didnt... so long as he didnt hit its head
Anyways... it moseys on away, and we dont see it for a day or two. Next time we see it it was smashed on the highway right next to our driveway. (remember, this is arkansas)Come to find out it was a guy on my team who did it... Quite the coincedence.
So... a couple of weeks pass, every day the poor soul gets mutilated a bit more by drunken rednecks running it over, and every day it gets pushed closer and closer to our driveway without the highway control cleaning it up.
Well, finally today comes which I am forced to scoop it up myself. As I walk towards it with the shovel, I realize its been reduced to a ball of hair, blood, and bones. Sick. Anyways, I go to move it, pretty simple, falls on my foot, I gag, and I throw it in the ditch across the street.
Now here is where the plot thickens. As I dump the carcass I notice a dvd in the ditch. I see it everyday going to school, but am always to lazy to stop and look. Being 2 feet from it I pick it up. Faded badly, I make out the words "XXX: Tales of the (Insert sexual term for penis)"
Come to find out, its a porno. The disk is in there still, perfect condition. Not in any sort of need for a porno, I walk back to the house, drop it in my dads lap and recite "merry christmas." Riotous laughter from him ensues, and I walk away.
So, thats it. You just read all that for pretty much nothing. Although true, and only slightly funny, I still got a kick out of the two week possum marathon. I liked the possums closure too, with the porno and all.
The real point to me sharing all of this with you? To give you an idea of how horrible it is living in arkansas. You may now high five each other for not living here
EDIT: Although my dad shot the possum, and I was an accomplice, neither of us are in any shape or form rednecks
There was once a possum who kept eating the cat food outside, so, my dad took the black dragun I gave him for christmas and shot it 31 times. Yes, I fealt bad for the poor creature, but he didnt... so long as he didnt hit its head
Anyways... it moseys on away, and we dont see it for a day or two. Next time we see it it was smashed on the highway right next to our driveway. (remember, this is arkansas)Come to find out it was a guy on my team who did it... Quite the coincedence.
So... a couple of weeks pass, every day the poor soul gets mutilated a bit more by drunken rednecks running it over, and every day it gets pushed closer and closer to our driveway without the highway control cleaning it up.
Well, finally today comes which I am forced to scoop it up myself. As I walk towards it with the shovel, I realize its been reduced to a ball of hair, blood, and bones. Sick. Anyways, I go to move it, pretty simple, falls on my foot, I gag, and I throw it in the ditch across the street.
Now here is where the plot thickens. As I dump the carcass I notice a dvd in the ditch. I see it everyday going to school, but am always to lazy to stop and look. Being 2 feet from it I pick it up. Faded badly, I make out the words "XXX: Tales of the (Insert sexual term for penis)"
Come to find out, its a porno. The disk is in there still, perfect condition. Not in any sort of need for a porno, I walk back to the house, drop it in my dads lap and recite "merry christmas." Riotous laughter from him ensues, and I walk away.
So, thats it. You just read all that for pretty much nothing. Although true, and only slightly funny, I still got a kick out of the two week possum marathon. I liked the possums closure too, with the porno and all.
The real point to me sharing all of this with you? To give you an idea of how horrible it is living in arkansas. You may now high five each other for not living here
EDIT: Although my dad shot the possum, and I was an accomplice, neither of us are in any shape or form rednecks
I'm sorry...
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