213 things never to do in the Military...

[Koosh]

Might have been posted here, but I think its hilarious!

http://www.avalanchetankers.us/archives/000058.html

Some of the better ones:

29. The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.

52. Not allowed to yell 'Take that Cobra' at the rifle range.

60. ?The Giant Space Ants' are not at the top of my chain of command.

66. There is no ?Anti-Mime' campaign in Bosnia.

116. Crucifying mice - bad idea.

and it keeps going. Hi-Larious!

[StuDawggie]

That's a great list. I have to add a few of my favs though.

#190 Must not make s'mores while on guard duty.

#132 The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.

#124 2 drink limit does not mean first and last.

#102 Rodents are not entitled to a burial with full military rights even if they are "casualties of war".

#84 Must not use military vehicles to "Squish" things.

[bleachit]

The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

An order to 'Put Kiwi on my boots' does *not* involve fruit.

An order to 'Make my Boots black and shiny' does not involve electrical tape.

The proper response to a lawful order is not 'Why?'


this is too funny

[edweird]

oh yeah... very cool list


/emails it to the whole weapons shop

[CodeMA]

OMG...thats some funny stuff.... there were some great things in there, scarily, I think I could see edweird doing most of em

[oldsoldier]

LOL. This is my inspiration for "operation chaos" here...we got this like a month ago. Sad thing is, most soldiers havedone several of these things at one point in their career. They just never had to make a list.

[swanster]

haha lol

[PyRo]

Gee thanks for making me laugh so hard and look like a moron

[RRfireblade]

That's pretty good.

[Mikey B]

137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.

138. Even if my commander did it.

Thats great

[bratch]

210. Must not make T-shirts up depciting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.

I died on so many of those. Good find.

[Vex]

44. I am not the atheist chaplain.

I'm stuck on this one because I can't stop laughing for long enough to move on...

[Rather]

97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.

Haha ghostbusters owns.

191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.

No but it can be mailed home piece by piece

205. Don't write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged")

Wonder why that last one was humming when I was going back to Novermber 15 1955.

[lopxtc]

[dansim]

mine was a prick e-5