this was just emailed to me, i thought it was funny. if anybody is to wussy enough to take it as a joke, ill take it down, but maybe i can spark a nice controversy 
US Marine Corps Rules For Gunfighting
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite and professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not
start with a number above 4
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap.
Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker; distance is your friend. (Lateral
and diagonal movement are preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible; protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In 10 years nobody will remember the details of caliber,
stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating and
reloading.
14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they
should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
15. When in doubt, fix bayonets, empty the magazine, throw all
your grenades, and charge.
16. When in grave doubt, ask the Gunny for advice, which will be
to charge faster while shouting graphic descriptions to the enemy of
what you are about to do to him.
Example: "I am going to kill you, *****! I am going to kill you
slow!
I am going to skin you and build a kayak out of your ribcage, rip your head off and **** down your neck!!
17. And above all ... don't drop your guard.
US Navy Rules For Gunfighting
1. Go to sea.
2. Drink coffee.
3. Send in the Marines.
US Army Rules For Gunfighting
1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder.
3. Reconsider the color of beret you decide to wear.
4. Make a movie about a female soldier who forgot to fire her
weapon in defense of her unit.
5. Send in the Marines.
US Air Force Rules For Gunfighting
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. Determine what is a gunfight.
4. Send in the Marines.
US Marine Corps Rules For Gunfighting
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite and professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not
start with a number above 4
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap.
Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker; distance is your friend. (Lateral
and diagonal movement are preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible; protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In 10 years nobody will remember the details of caliber,
stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating and
reloading.
14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they
should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
15. When in doubt, fix bayonets, empty the magazine, throw all
your grenades, and charge.
16. When in grave doubt, ask the Gunny for advice, which will be
to charge faster while shouting graphic descriptions to the enemy of
what you are about to do to him.
Example: "I am going to kill you, *****! I am going to kill you
slow!
I am going to skin you and build a kayak out of your ribcage, rip your head off and **** down your neck!!
17. And above all ... don't drop your guard.
US Navy Rules For Gunfighting
1. Go to sea.
2. Drink coffee.
3. Send in the Marines.
US Army Rules For Gunfighting
1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder.
3. Reconsider the color of beret you decide to wear.
4. Make a movie about a female soldier who forgot to fire her
weapon in defense of her unit.
5. Send in the Marines.
US Air Force Rules For Gunfighting
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. Determine what is a gunfight.
4. Send in the Marines.
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