Walmart urine test
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike
behind him: "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a
doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you whats
wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten
seconds and costs ten dollars ... a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Walmart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up
and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the
slot and waits. Ten seconds later, computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and
avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
was, Jack wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed
some tap water, a sample from his dog, urine samples from his
wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good
measure. Jack hurries back to Walmart ,eager to check the
results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping at Walmart .....
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike
behind him: "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a
doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you whats
wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten
seconds and costs ten dollars ... a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Walmart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up
and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the
slot and waits. Ten seconds later, computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and
avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
was, Jack wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed
some tap water, a sample from his dog, urine samples from his
wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good
measure. Jack hurries back to Walmart ,eager to check the
results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping at Walmart .....
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