Thought this might come in handy. You may want to add some of your own.
> Handiperson's Glossary
>
>
> ADJUSTABLE WRENCH: Also known as a knucklebuster. Will round off
any sized nut, standard or metric.
>
> AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-
burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air
that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips
rusty bolts last tightened 60 years ago by someone in Springfield, and
rounds them off.
>
> BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulphuric
acid from a car battery to the inside of your tool box after determining
that your battery is dead as a door nail, just as you thought.
>
> CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool
> that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the
end without the handle.
>
> DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
chest and flings your coffee across the room, splattering it against that
freshly painted part you were drying.
>
> DUCT TAPE: Used for sealing and fastening together almost
everything. Great for patching holes and covering rusty areas on car bodies.
>
> EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a motorcycle
upward off a hydraulic jack.
>
> ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in
> their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for
> drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that
goes
> to the rear wheel.
>
> E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt
holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
>
> HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the pessimism
> principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
> motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
dismal your future becomes.
>
> HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
is used as a kind of radar device to locate expensive parts not far
from the object we are trying to hit.
>
> HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
>
> HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a motorcycle to the ground
after you have installed your new front disk brake set-up, trapping the
jack handle firmly under the front fender.
>
> MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
> cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
>
> METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
>
> OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your garage on fire.* Also handy for igniting the grease
inside a brake drum you're trying to get the bearing grease out of.
>
> PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
> paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be
used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads and can
double as oil filter removal wrench by stabbing through stubborn oil filters.
>
> PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another
> hydraulic floor jack.
>
> PIPE CUTTER: See hose cutter.
>
> PIPE WRENCH: See adjustable wrench
>
> PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
>
> PRYBAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
> bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
>
> SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for
> spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
>
> TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease
build up.
>
> TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth.* Sometimes called
a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin,"
which is not otherwise found under motorcycles at night.* Health benefits
aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the
same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first
few hours of the Battle of the Bulge.* More often dark than light, its name is
> somewhat misleading.
>
> TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
>
> TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile
> strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to
> disconnect.
>
> VICE- GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads.* If nothing else is
> available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat
to the palm of your hand.
>
> WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
> motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16
or 1/2 socket you've been searching for, the last 15 minutes.
>
> WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere
> under the workbench with the speed of light.* Also removes
fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes
you to say, "Ouch...."
> Handiperson's Glossary
>
>
> ADJUSTABLE WRENCH: Also known as a knucklebuster. Will round off
any sized nut, standard or metric.
>
> AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-
burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air
that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips
rusty bolts last tightened 60 years ago by someone in Springfield, and
rounds them off.
>
> BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulphuric
acid from a car battery to the inside of your tool box after determining
that your battery is dead as a door nail, just as you thought.
>
> CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool
> that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the
end without the handle.
>
> DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
chest and flings your coffee across the room, splattering it against that
freshly painted part you were drying.
>
> DUCT TAPE: Used for sealing and fastening together almost
everything. Great for patching holes and covering rusty areas on car bodies.
>
> EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a motorcycle
upward off a hydraulic jack.
>
> ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in
> their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for
> drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that
goes
> to the rear wheel.
>
> E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt
holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
>
> HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the pessimism
> principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
> motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
dismal your future becomes.
>
> HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
is used as a kind of radar device to locate expensive parts not far
from the object we are trying to hit.
>
> HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
>
> HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a motorcycle to the ground
after you have installed your new front disk brake set-up, trapping the
jack handle firmly under the front fender.
>
> MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
> cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
>
> METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
>
> OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your garage on fire.* Also handy for igniting the grease
inside a brake drum you're trying to get the bearing grease out of.
>
> PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
> paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be
used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads and can
double as oil filter removal wrench by stabbing through stubborn oil filters.
>
> PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another
> hydraulic floor jack.
>
> PIPE CUTTER: See hose cutter.
>
> PIPE WRENCH: See adjustable wrench
>
> PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
>
> PRYBAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
> bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
>
> SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for
> spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
>
> TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease
build up.
>
> TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth.* Sometimes called
a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin,"
which is not otherwise found under motorcycles at night.* Health benefits
aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the
same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first
few hours of the Battle of the Bulge.* More often dark than light, its name is
> somewhat misleading.
>
> TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
>
> TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile
> strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to
> disconnect.
>
> VICE- GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads.* If nothing else is
> available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat
to the palm of your hand.
>
> WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
> motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16
or 1/2 socket you've been searching for, the last 15 minutes.
>
> WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere
> under the workbench with the speed of light.* Also removes
fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes
you to say, "Ouch...."
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