Application For Permission To Date My Daughter

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  • Head knight of Ni
    Silly K-niggits
    • Mar 2004
    • 1032

    #16
    never give your adress. the shotgun thing is scary and I failed that test which is a good thing I guess.
    March 15
    The only good Tedi is a dead Tedi.Conker:Live&Reloaded

    Comment

    • barrel break
      Too much time
      • Dec 2003
      • 643

      #17
      whats this about a test?
      anyway, i filled it out mentally, pretty funny...
      Defiant, w00t, w00t

      Comment

      • Oh_Davey
        Registered User
        • Jan 2004
        • 88

        #18
        How to pass it....

        (HOW TO PASS)APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

        NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
        accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
        and current medical report from your doctor.

        NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

        HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

        SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #____N/A__________

        BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____Eagle/All of Them_______________________

        HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

        Do you have parents? _X_Yes ___No
        Is one male and the other female? _X_Yes ___No
        If No, explain:
        __________________________________________________ ____________

        Number of years they have been married ___(Greater than your age______

        If less than your age, explain
        __________________________________________________ ____________

        __________________________________________________ ____________


        ACCESSORIES SECTION:

        A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes _X_No

        B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes _X_No

        C. A waterbed? __Yes _X_No

        D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes _X_No

        E. A tattoo? __Yes _X_No

        F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes _X_No
        pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

        (IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
        AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


        ESSAY SECTION:

        In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

        __Any time past the given time, SIR.______________ ____________

        __________________________________________________ ____________

        In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

        __Do not come in physical or emotional contact, SIR.___________

        __________________________________________________ ____________

        In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

        __A way of life. SIR._____________________________ ____________

        __________________________________________________ ____________


        REFERENCES SECTION:

        Church you attend __(Same as the family)____________________________ _

        How often you attend _Every Sunday or more._____________________________________________ __

        When would be the best time to interview your:

        father? _Anytime_____

        mother? _Anytime_____

        pastor? _Anytime_____


        SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

        Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
        are confidential.

        A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

        ___Little toe_____________________________________ ____________

        B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

        ___Little toe_____________________________________ ____________

        C: A woman's place is in the:

        ___School/getting a career________________________ ____________

        D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

        ___My little toe___________________________________ ____________

        E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

        ___Be an honest faithful husband who loves his wife.____________

        __________________________________________________ ____________

        F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

        ____Her... not breasts?___________________________________ ____________

        F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __I wouldn't know, SIR.

        I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
        THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
        NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
        WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


        __________________________________________________ _______
        Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


        _______________________________ ________________________________
        Mother's Signature ----------------------- Father's Signature

        _______________________________ ________________________________
        Pastor/Priest/Rabbi ---------------------- State Representative/Congressman

        Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
        non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

        You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
        not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
        cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
        notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
        (you might watch your back).

        Comment

        • The-Z-Man
          w00t w00t
          • Sep 2002
          • 72

          #19
          HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
          ok.....i just dont want to know
          Lets all do this... get out our paintball guns.. hijack some airlines full of these "Special" Folks and run them into some things like The Backstreet Boys and Al Gore's Baldspot.
          OfficerGoat

          Comment

          • xXhAppyAznXx
            Ken, Eagle Scout
            • Mar 2003
            • 2473

            #20
            Originally posted by The-Z-Man
            ok.....i just dont want to know
            What the monkey, another zman?!


            I do know the AO sig rules, I just want a free sig pic, that's all! :mad:

            My Gun CollectionhAppy's Official B/S/T thread - Feedback

            Comment

            • ramennoodles
              hi.
              • Jul 2003
              • 1044

              #21
              when i read the title i thought it meant an application to the state government for a father to date their daughter(incest) man that freaked me out, but then i understood. That is great.

              The Gun
              The Email
              The Feedback

              Comment

              • coolcatpete
                I have my e-mag back
                • Jun 2003
                • 1532

                #22
                Thats very funny.
                Pete

                FOR SALE
                Evil 3+2 pack
                FeedbackAO feedback PBN feedback Matrix serial #-lost

                Comment

                • RevBrown
                  The uncle you dont mention
                  • Feb 2004
                  • 451

                  #23
                  Originally posted by AcemanPB
                  I sure know I've dated some chicks who's fathers are like that. The funny thing is though the more protective the father seems the more wild and crazy the daughter usually is

                  Ain't this the truth.

                  Course there is always the father of the girl I dated way back when that couldn't talk to me without clentching his teeth. God he hated me even more so when her sisters found out I gave her hickeys on her twins.
                  Now I am dating my ex-bosses daughter from like 6 years ago. Nothing like starting a relationship where the father already knows your a loser
                  Fall Seven Times Stand Up Eight.


                  Whatever happened to natural selection? Survival of the fittest?
                  The kid who swallows to many marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own. Simple stuff. nature knows best! - George Carlin (Napalm and Silly Putty)

                  Comment

                  • skife
                    Unregistered User
                    • Feb 2003
                    • 2769

                    #24
                    i almost got that application once.
                    my ex's dad was going to give it to me.
                    thank god he didnt




                    [21:00] < FunkTehChillinMunky > I've got a Warped Sportz Dark Talon

                    Comment

                    • Warewolf50
                      The evil monkey
                      • Apr 2002
                      • 1444

                      #25
                      YEah on my first date wiht my girl friend she was staying at her dads, when i got there she wasnt ready yet so I got to have a lil talk with her dad, pretty much the fist thing he said to me was no alchol drugs or sex with my daughter. I was like ooooook, very uncomfortable. Then later i was informed that he was thinkng about pulling out a application thing like that but no matter how u fill it out it makes u look really bad.

                      mcveighr--You think caffeine rocks you should try cocaine.

                      Comment

                      • pickedlast
                        sheena is a punk rocker
                        • Jul 2004
                        • 49

                        #26
                        wow.. i really did get this application... it was a joke tho... i knew the guy for like 4 years... and the rest of the family... so i was like are you for realll!!! and i started filling it out.. he went to his room... for about 10 min... hes a military man.. came out lookin pissed.. so i was like man u krazzie u just pullin my leg.. so he pulled my leg.. and was like yea im just messin*then a whisper*"i dont got a problem goin back to prison" and i was like yep.. blue collar comedy tour
                        shiggidy shiggidy shwa

                        Comment

                        • dansim
                          ive been busy
                          • Jun 2001
                          • 4479

                          #27
                          This is how id answer it
                          NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
                          accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
                          and current medical report from your doctor.

                          NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

                          HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

                          SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

                          BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

                          HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

                          Do you have parents? _X_Yes ___No
                          Is one male and the other female? _X_Yes ___No
                          If No, explain:
                          __________________________________________________ ____________

                          Number of years they have been married ______________________________

                          If less than your age, explain
                          __________________________________________________ ____________

                          __________________________________________________ ____________


                          ACCESSORIES SECTION:

                          A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes _x_No

                          B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes _x_No

                          C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

                          D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes _x_No

                          E. A tattoo? __Yes _x_No

                          F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes _x_No
                          pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

                          (IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
                          AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


                          ESSAY SECTION:

                          In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

                          ______It means i need to get a pregnancy test____________________________________________ ____________



                          In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

                          ________it means i cant touch your daughter...with my hands _ ____________

                          __________________________________________________ ____________

                          In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

                          __________thats when your not in school, oh and its that green liquer that them crazy foriegners drink________________________________________ ____________




                          REFERENCES SECTION:

                          Church you attend _____none_________________________________________ ____ _

                          How often you attend __never....duh____________________________________ __________

                          When would be the best time to interview your:

                          father? ___7-8years hell be up parole__________

                          mother? ___my mother would shoot you__________

                          pastor? __was shot by my mother___________


                          SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

                          Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
                          are confidential.

                          A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

                          ____ my cement brick holding up my van...doh! i mean um barbq_____________________________________________ _ ____________

                          B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

                          _____my pp_____________________________________________ ____________

                          C: A woman's place is in the:

                          ______back seat with her ankles in the air ____________________________________________ ____________

                          D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

                          ____________if im having releations with your wife aswell______________________________________ ____________

                          E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
                          a mother flippin hustla you better ask somebody
                          __________________________________________________ ____________

                          __________________________________________________ ____________

                          F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

                          ____"dont sya her boobies,dont say her boobies,dontsay her booies."____________________Her junk in the trunk.....and her boobies
                          F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? ___i got a van..i mean 60 dollars_______________

                          I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
                          THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
                          NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
                          WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


                          __________________________________________________ _______
                          Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


                          _______________________________ ________________________________
                          Mother's Signature ----------------------- Father's Signature

                          _______________________________ ________________________________
                          Pastor/Priest/Rabbi ---------------------- State Representative/Congressman

                          Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
                          non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

                          You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
                          not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
                          cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
                          notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
                          (you might watch your back).

                          Comment

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